Running Back

  He closed the door and sat down across from me. “If anyone      thinks less of you because of your mother, and because you’re dating me, they’re the idiots. ”

  I pulled my laptop closer. “And it would be fine if it was just      about me and you. Then it would be funny. Silly, sweet. ” The first article that      popped up was exactly that, a saccharine account of our romance, accompanied by      a picture of us in our formal wear. “Or at least just celebrity gossip of no      interest to the real world. ”

  He lounged in his seat. “I forgot I didn’t live in the real      world. ”

  I clicked back. The first article had been dumb and flirty and      flattering, if you were a football player or a model and wanted to be      flattered.

  I didn’t want to click the second link. Instead, I looked at      Mike. “But it’s ammunition for Dr. Ceile. ”

  Page 59

  I opened the page.

  Mike sat down behind me, reading off the screen. “‘Delusion      Diggers. ’ Catchy. ”

  I rubbed my hands over my nose and mouth, unable to look      away.

  Mike leaned closer. “‘Professor Anderson persists in his      ridiculous quest for the lost city of Ivernis, accompanied by the daughter of      ’80s supermodel Tamara Bocharov, playing Willie Scott to his Dr. Jones. ’” He let      out a snort. “The nightclub singer? Played by Spielberg’s wife?”

  “We have a limited number of pop culture references. ”

  “‘Sullivan may be easy on the eyes, but she spends more time      frequenting Parisian galas with her American footballer boyfriend than working      in the field. ’” He leaned back and grinned at me. “I don’t know, isn’t this a      case of being so ridiculous it’s funny?”

  I was pretty grossed out that Ceile called me easy on the eyes.      “I get what you mean, but it plays into the feud between Jeremy and Ceile. And      Ceile’s winning. People want to believe that      Jeremy’s crazy. ”

  He studied me for a long moment, and drew the computer toward      him. He spun it back my way after a minute. “You’re not the only one damned by      public opinion. ”

  Top Ten Football Scandals of the 21st       Century

  Leopards Linebacker Arrested for Drug       Use

  Bisons’ Wide Receiver is Suspected of       Battery

  I sat there for a while. He had a point. Still. . . “It’s      different when these are actually true. ”

  “You think every scandal you ever read about is true?”

  I was silent.

  “You can’t let it get to you. So people think you’re crazy. So      what?”

  I shook my head. “We can’t dig without grant money. ”

  He cocked his head. “But they’ll give you money if you find      something. Just not if there’s nothing there, and you want to start looking for      Ivernis all over again somewhere else. ”

  I looked at him for a long time, and he looked back. I closed      my eyes and fell back against the bed. He was right. So why did I feel so      uneasy?

  The words drifted out of me. “You know, that’s the real      problem. That I’m afraid he’s right. That there’s nothing here. And I’ve been      avoiding that for so long. I’ve believed in Ivernis for years. I don’t want it      to just stop existing.

  “And even if I’m able to let it go. . . I don’t know if Jeremy      can. I don’t want to make him. I certainly don’t want the press to blow it up in      a huge thing. Haven’t we failed enough already?”

  I felt the bed move as Mike lay down beside me. “You haven’t      failed. You tried. That’s all you can ask of yourself. ”

  I kissed him. “It’s all we should      ask. But both of us want more. ”

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  When we came back from the field the next night, after      another day of uneventful digging, the reporters had arrived. They came in      droves, like locusts, like the eleventh plague, and they brought cameras and      recorders and improper shoes. They had Irish brogues and Southern drawls and      British vowels and American twangs. They were from The New       Yorker and Sports Illustrated and Glamour and Vogue.

  Not a single respected journal wanted to talk to us.

  Then came the offers. Dear Ms.      Sullivan, they wrote. We are so       impressed with all the work you have done, and       we want you to know that!      Second, we are very curious in       whether you currently are represented. . . if you currently are signed. . . if you       are interested in working. . .

  The only ones that didn’t have to do with modeling had to do      with football.

  I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t deal with reporters fixating on      the wrong things.

  Cam, at least, had a positive outlook. She video called the      next day. “New life plan. You model to pay the excavation fees! I’m      brilliant. ”

  I settled back against my pillows. “I’ve always thought      that. ”

  “I can’t believe you were in Paris.      You should’ve gone to the top of the Eiffel Tower, and I could’ve gone to the      Empire State Building, and we should have called each other. And then, if our      life was a movie, there’d be a split-screen view with both of us and it would be      epic. ”

  I laughed. “Maybe you should’ve gone to the Statue of      Liberty. ”

  “No, too much Frenchness in one frame. Unless there’s an      American building in Paris? Oh. That would be good.      We could make a poster. Wait, I need to Google this. ”

  “Wait, wait, no—Do it later. I need to talk to you about      Mike. ”

  “What, about your undying love for him and how you want to have      his babies?”

  I pulled a pillow over my head.

  “Oh my God. You’re fucking kidding me. What?”

  “Should I even say anything? He’s going back to New York in two      weeks. And, yes, I’ll go back to New York for the conference, but I don’t think      we’re going to find anything here, so I’ll probably end up staying in Ireland      with Jeremy, because it’s way easier to look at other sites here than from home.      And I finished my classes, so there’s no real reason to be over there. ”

  “Um. Me. Besides, you’re obviously just making excuses. If you      love him, you tell him. ”

  I tossed the pillow off and flopped over on my belly. “How?      What’d you say to Rob?”

  “Ugh, Rob. ” She paused. “I guess we sort of trickled it in.      Like, we’d sign emails. And then once he said ‘Love you’ when we were hanging up      the phone. ”

  “Well, that’s not going to work. He’s here in person. ” I      brightened. “Unless I wait until he leaves. ”

  Page 60

  “You’re such a coward. Haven’t you ever told a guy you loved      him?”

  I paused. “Kevin Diaz said he loved me. ”

  “The high school boyfriend you slept with on prom night? The      one you said surrounded you with candles and rose petals and took your face in      his hands—”

  “Hey, he was trying to be romantic! We were nervous!” I paused.      “Do you think you can buy rose petals or did he have to pluck each one      himself?”

  She snapped her fingers in front of the camera. “Nat.      Focus. ”

  “Right. I’m screwed. ” I rolled over on the bed. “I can’t      believe people are getting married and I can’t even tell my boyfriend how I      feel. ”

  “Hello. I’m single. Oh, God, did you see that Tori from      undergrad just posted two albums of her wedding? Go look at them. ”

&
nbsp; After dissecting the wedding of someone we never spoke to, I      think we both felt better and like despicable human beings. “God, I miss      you. ”

  “I miss you too. I wish you were here and we could make      mudslides and hate watch reality TV and I could give you excellent tips on love      confessions. ”

  I tugged the blanket up and rolled around a bit until I was      securely snuggled beneath it. I eyed my book on the bed stand. “Maybe I should      quote Yeats. ”

  “Is he romantic?”

  “I’m not really sure. The intro said he was obsessed with some      woman?”

  “Like Heathcliff obsessed, or. . . ”

  I flipped the book open. “He proposed to her six times. At      least he was poetic about the obsession. ” I paused. “Wouldn’t it be nice if      every time you got catcalled, it came out as a line of poetry? We should patent      that. ”

  “No. Because that’s called magic, not science. ”

  “Right. ” I took a deep breath. “Maybe I just won’t say      anything. ”

  “For God’s sake. Just tell him after you have sex. ”

  I nodded slowly. “Okay. Okay, I can do that. ”

  “Wait, actually, if Yeats was a creeper that would be totally      appropriate because you’re a creeper!”

  “I’m hanging up now. ”

  * * *

  Grace and Duncan, who had been displeased but not scared      off the excavation when only articles appeared, soured as reporters badgered      them with questions. When I joined them and Jeremy at breakfast the next      morning, they were whispering furiously at each other across the table.

  They looked up, disgruntled, as I sat, and Grace shook her head      at me. I almost smiled brightly, but I was tired of fake smiles and talking just      to fill silences. “Any new ideas of how we’re dealing with them?”

  “I think we should just ignore it,” Duncan said.

  Grace shook her head. “Maybe if we made it clear Ms. Sullivan      wasn’t actually associated with the excavation. ”

  It took a moment for that to sink in. “You want—you want me to      pretend I’m not a part of this? No!” I looked to Jeremy for help. “I was the one      who picked this location out of all the possibilities, because my research said this was the most likely spot for a      city. I found the money. I got the permission. I’m not going anywhere!”

  “Natalie,” Jeremy said quietly.

  I ignored him. “Why should I disassociate? Because it’d be      easier for all of you? To just put all the blame on the supermodel’s flaky      daughter. ”

  “Natalie. ”

  “I don’t want my reputation being dragged down on this,” Grace      said coolly.

  I looked at Jeremy. He wouldn’t return my gaze.

  Because right now my rep could lower him, while Grace’s and      Duncan’s could bring him higher up. “Jeremy, please. Let me talk to the press.      I’ll give a little statement about how we’re still early in the dig and have no      substantive conclusions right now, and I’ll add something boring about my mother      and Mike to get them off my back. ”

  “They don’t want something boring. ”

  I started, and twisted around to see Mike, standing in his      sweats and rumpled hair, watching us all with bright eyes.

  “Oh?” Grace said. “Why do you say that?”

  “I’m sure your feud is great and all. Very made-for-TV. But      those aren’t your academic journalists out there. They want a splashy story for      the tabloids or the cover of the sports section. ”

  “Tabloids,” Duncan groaned.

  Jeremy leaned back in his chair. “You think they’re more      interested in you than me and Ceile?”

  Mike’s brows shot up and he smiled his you-poor-disbelieving-bastard smile. “I think it can’t hurt if      Natalie and I give a little interview with some of the journalists I know. ”

  I waited until they’d all agreed, and then I went after Mike.      “Why’d you offer that? I thought you were anti saving Jeremy’s rep. ”

  He brushed my hair back. “I don’t care about Jeremy. But I      don’t want you sacrificing yourself and giving up the dig to save his      reputation. ”

  I frowned. “Do you really think I would do that?”

  “I don’t know. Would you? You’ve put people above finding      Ivernis before. You put me above Kilkarten. ”

  I studied the planes of his face. How was it possible a person      could be so familiar to me, that I could conjure his face down to the smallest      detail even when he wasn’t nearby, and that when he was before me I never tired      of looking? “You’re different. ”

  He slid his hands around my waist, under the hem of my shirt.      They radiated heat. Mike radiated heat, like fire made human. “Am I?”

  I brought my lips to his and tried to tell him in every way      except verbally that I loved him.

  * * *

  None of the reporters followed us onto the fields, since      Kilkarten was private property. Still, a hesitant unease hung over the crew as      we shifted shovels of unremarkable earth. I called lunch early, and my unit      trooped over to the others by the parking lot. We settled in the dirt with our      bags and a round of Purelle. Some of the workers, like Anka Wójcik, lay down      with their hats over their faces and catnapped during our forty-five minute      break. These were usually the ones who worked here as their second job, or who      came from farms farther away and had to wake earlier than the rest of us.

  Page 61

  They probably weren’t worried about the lack of discovery, but      more about having this income next summer.

  “Who’s that?” Tim O’Brian, with the farm ten miles west, nodded      his head toward the parking lot. “Never seen her before. ”

  Jack Kelleher spoke around his mouthful of banana. “She a      friend of yours, Natalie?”

  I looked up and realized they were asking me because the      newcomer was accompanied by Mike, who helpfully offered his hand to help her      over a bump.

  We were outside. Of course there were bumps. Why the hell was      she wearing heels?

  From this distance, I couldn’t see her features, but I could      see the way her long dark hair flowed over her shoulders, held back by a      headband, and the way her coat cinched at the waist and then flared out in an      appropriately whimsical manner.

  I stood and made my way over, acutely aware of the dirt on my      legs and my butt and my hair and my face. I was dirt all over; I breathed it,      ate it, smelled it. I blew my nose and black mucus came out. “Hi. ”

  Mike gestured at the girl. “Hey, Nat. This is Jane Ellington. ”      To the girl, he said, “Natalie’s a grad student on the dig. ”

  She stuck out her hand and revealed gleaming white teeth. “Nice      to meet you. ”

  I held my hands up, showing the dirt smeared to the edges by      the cool sliding sanitizer. “Probably shouldn’t shake. You’re kind of far from      home. ”

  “I’m the sports foreign correspondence for Sports Today. ”

  I blinked several times. Sports       Today was one of the largest news sites. “Well, that is just      fascinating. ”

  She smiled broadly. “Do you mind if I ask a couple of      questions?”

  I glanced at Mike, who had on his agreeable, easy-going face. I      wanted to tell him to wipe it off and put on something that would indicate now      was not the time. “Now’s not a good time. ”

  “Maybe over dinner?”

  I sighed and rubbed my head, remembering only afterward that      the combi
nation of sunscreen and dirt meant I was now a muddy mess. Great. “I      don’t know. It’s been a long day. . . ”

  “A day looking for the remains of Ivernis?”

  My defensive bristles went up at the slightly amused lilt in      her voice. But Mike had brought her here, which must mean he thought she was      worth talking to. “Sure. Fine. Dinner. ”

  Mike smiled and led her away. I looked forlornly after      them.

  Lauren came up beside me, wearing a neat blouse and skirt. She      clearly was only here to socialize. “Do we hate her?”

  “What? No!”

  Lauren shrugged. “I don’t know. Looks like someone we should      hate. ”

  “Just because she’s pretty and successful is not a reason to      hate someone. I mean, we’re pretty and      successful. ”

  Lauren refocused on the girl. “I can hate her for you. ”

  “Lauren! I don’t want you to do that!”

  Lauren raised her brow. “Do you think she would be down here if      my brother wasn’t?”

  I blinked, and looked back at the twittering girl, and Mike,      laughing. I crossed my arms and tried not to frown. “Kilky is interesting in its      own right. ”

  “Yeah, but that’s not what’s going to be selling papers back      home. ”

  “Well. Hmph. We still can’t hate her for trying to do a good      job. ”

  “Okay. ” Lauren nodded sagely. “But if she goes after Paul when      I’m not around, I want you to take her out. ”

  * * *

  Mike raised his brows when I finished dressing for      dinner. “You’re wearing a dress. ”

  I smoothed my hands over the black sheath. “It’s been known to      happen. ”

  We headed downstairs, but he didn’t drop the subject. “Twice.      Once for the month mind, once in Paris. And your hair’s up. You’re channeling      Tamera. ”

  I let out an exasperated huff, even though that was exactly      what I was doing. “You sound like Cam. ”

  He opened the door outside and we headed for the coastal path.      “Well, there’s a reason one of us is your best friend and the other is your      boyfriend. Play nice with Jane, okay? I had to pull some strings to get her      here. ”

  I stopped walking until he took my hand and gently tugged me      back into motion. “Mike! You didn’t have to do that!”

  He shrugged. “She wasn’t that far. Just in London. ”