Sid in Space

  ‘Yes, you’re right,’ she said, and smiled. ‘I’m still glad you were there though.’

  ‘So am I,’ Sacha said, and suddenly his eight legs felt three times as long and he didn’t know what to do with them.

  It felt like he had twenty-four legs.

  ‘Stephanie,’ he began hesitantly, ‘er… I… that is, would you like to come to the… er… end of term dance with er… I mean me?’

  ‘I liked your report about tree surgeons,’ Stephanie said.

  Had she heard? Was she deliberately ignoring his question?

  ‘Um,’ Sacha said. ‘Thank you. I liked yours about dancing and what was it?’

  ‘Therapy,’ replied Stephanie.

  ‘Yes, I think you’d make a good therapist. You seem to know how to communicate with other spiders.’

  ‘I wouldn’t mind,’ replied Stephanie. ‘I’d like to specialise in certain areas, you know, use my language skills.’

  Sacha knew only too well. Stephanie was fluent in sign language as her younger brother had been born deaf.

  ‘Not that I’ve seen you dance but I bet you’re good at that as well.’

  ‘Why, Sacha, I think you like me.’

  ‘Just a little,’ Sacha said, and smiled.

  ‘What were you saying about going to the dance?’

  ‘Yes! Go to the dance, with me.’

  ‘Sure.’ Stephanie smiled. ‘I’d love to go to the dance with you.’

  ‘Cool!’ Sacha said, and grinned like he’d won first prize in a fly catching contest. ‘By the way,’ he said. ‘What were you doing out here in the first place?’

  ‘I was on my way home from ballet class,’ Stephanie replied. She held up eight pink satin ballet shoes by their long, pink ribbons. ‘My bicycle got a puncture so I was hiding it in the woods to keep it safe,’ she explained. ‘I was going to come back later with a new tyre.’

  ‘Hop on and I’ll give you a lift,’ Sacha said, gesturing to his spider scooter parked a little way down the road.

  ‘You really are my knight in shining armour,’ Stephanie said, and grinned all over her pretty face. ‘Thank you, Sacha,’ she added.

  Sacha smiled and blushed with pride. He opened up the pannier on the back of his scooter and removed his spare helmet which he passed to Stephanie. He climbed on and Stephanie jumped up behind him. He called out for her to hold on tightly. He pressed the spider start button, snapped shut his visor, and a moment later they were gone.

  Chapter Four

  Sidney looked round him in awe as his dad’s car approached the imposing gates that boasted the entrance to the SASA base.

  Sitwell slowed down to flash his pass at the uniformed guard who saluted him in return.

  ‘It’s great to be here,’ Sidney said as he fidgeted in his seat. He couldn’t wait to get out and lose himself - not literally you understand - in the one place he wanted to be.

  Spider Air Space Association. This was the business!

  ‘Right! Here we are,’ Sitwell announced as he pulled the little sports car into a parking space reserved for him. ‘Let’s go inside and get you fixed up with a pass. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can start our tour.’

  Sitwell pulled on the handbrake and turned off the ignition. They each opened their car door and stepped outside on to the gravel. As they were about to walk away, Sitwell reached into the pocket of his uniform pulled out a clean white handkerchief and gave the red paintwork a quick buff.

  When he’d finished he stood up and adjusted his cap.

  He smiled at Sidney and together they made their way over to the building standing tall and looking impressive. Sitwell pressed a button and the large glass doors parted to reveal a plush reception area.

  As they crawled across the thick carpet, Sitwell flashed his security pass to two uniformed guards who saluted in return. Sidney followed his dad as he walked up to an administration assistant sitting behind a shiny chrome desk so large it looked like she was about to be swallowed up whole.

  ‘Hello, Sindy, how are you?’

  ‘Good morning, Major Sitwell, I’m fine, thank you.’

  ‘Splendid! I’ve brought my son, Sidney, along with me today,’ he explained, nodding in Sidney’s direction.

  Sindy glanced over at Sidney and smiled. ‘Hello.’

  ‘Hello,’ Sidney replied.

  ‘I’d like a security pass made for him please, Sindy, at level seven clearance.’

  ‘Certainly, Major Sitwell. If you’d like to take a seat I’ll see to that straight away,’ she said, and turned to Sidney. ‘Sidney, would you follow me, please?’

  ‘Sure.’ Sidney grinned and scuttled over to where Sindy showed him into a booth.

  He sat down on the stool where he had his photograph taken along with ink prints of his legs, all eight of them, and his personal details copied down such as his date of birth, place of birth and his full name. The usual stuff, you know the drill.

  When all his required information had been collected it was programmed into an impressive-looking computer.

  As Sidney waited he looked round the large open area. He observed the surveillance cameras mounted high on the walls. He watched the officers and scientists as they crawled and scuttled all over the place quietly going about their business.

  A few moments later with a whirr and a flourish a sheet of paper shot out of the printer. It was swiftly cut, laminated, and handed to an eagerly awaiting Sidney.

  ‘I hope you have a good time.’ Sindy smiled as she handed it over to him.

  ‘Thank you,’ Sidney replied. He grinned as he pinned his security pass to his T-shirt. This was too cool.

  ‘Ready?’ his dad asked.

  ‘Ready,’ Sidney replied and together they set off along the corridor until they came to a locked door.

  Swish!

  Sitwell swiped the lock with his electronic key card. The door flew open and together they stepped into another corridor.

  They crawled over to a lift where Sitwell pressed a button. The doors opened and together they jumped in. Moments later they arrived at their floor. They stepped out of the lift and flashed their passes to a uniformed guard who saluted them and allowed them to continue.

  They crawled along the corridor (yes, I know, too many corridors - it’s a top security thing) until finally they were standing outside the spaceship spider shuttle simulation room.

  ‘All right, son?’

  ‘You bet, Dad.’

  Swish!

  Sitwell swiped his electronic key card in the lock, punched in a series of numbers, the door clicked and opened.

  He turned to Sidney. ‘To make things more authentic, in other words, to make them appear more lifelike the pilot gets to wear an astronaut’s suit,’ Sitwell explained. ‘This is it,’ he said, handing Sidney a space suit. ‘It’s all yours, son.’ He pointed to the co-pilot’s seat.

  Sidney grinned, slipped on the suit, and crawled into the chair.

  From his pilot’s seat, Sitwell showed Sidney the pre-flight preparation sequence. He told Sidney what to do when ground control were in direct contact. He explained about the impressive display of lights, switches and controls that covered the flight panel in front of them.

  ‘Mostly,’ he said, ‘it flies itself as these days it’s all done by computer.’

  ‘It’s all automated?’

  ‘Practically, son. However, you still need to programme a pre-flight set of numbers and instructions into the flight computer here.’

  Sitwell pointed to a panel nearest the joystick and explained with the assistance of ground control the launching of the spaceship spider shuttle was then made possible.

  ‘How does she land, Dad?’

  ‘Same way she takes off.’

  ‘Wow! Just like Thunderbird 1!’

  ‘Almost,’ his dad replied with a grin.

  Sidney listened carefully. Due to his eagerness to learn all he could about becoming an astronaut he was able to fo
llow a lot of what his dad was telling him.

  ‘So, Sidney, what do you think? Could you fly her?’

  ‘I think so, yes, one day for real. Could I have a go on the simulation now?’

  ‘I don’t see why not.’

  ‘As long as I do better than in my Nintendo game I should be all right.’

  ‘Your Nintendo game?’

  ‘I crash and burn every time I go up in space.’

  ‘That’s encouraging, Sidney, I really needed to hear that.’

  Flight Major Sitwell, Flight Major Sitwell, please report to the spaceship spider shuttle dock immediately. Flight Major Sitwell, please go to spaceship spider shuttle dock number one for immediate launch. Thank you.

  ‘Dad?’

  ‘Sorry, son, I was warned this might happen.’ Sitwell unbuckled his seat belt and gestured to Sidney to do the same.

  ‘Has the flight test been brought forward?’

  ‘Yes, Sidney, it would appear so.’ Sitwell climbed from his pilot’s seat. ‘You can come along up to a point but don’t touch anything, will you.’

  ‘I won’t, Dad. I know what to do.’

  ‘Good lad.’ Sitwell nodded towards Sidney’s space suit. ‘You can leave that on for now.’

  ‘All right, Dad.’

  Together they crawled along corridor after corridor and through one security check after another until they came to the edge of a huge hangar where Sidney got his first sight of the spaceship spider shuttle.

  She was beautiful.

  Sidney gasped as he took in the size and power of the ship. She stood there tall, proud and gleaming. He could detect fresh paint, excitement and anticipation hanging in the air.

  Spiders were scuttling all over the place. Some were in uniform, some in mechanic’s overalls, a few clutching clipboards, some typing on their iPads, and others speaking into two-way radios.

  It was electrifying.

  ‘Sidney, let me introduce you to Flight Major Sandra Spider, astronaut first-class and co-pilot of the spaceship spider shuttle.’

  Sidney shook legs with Sandra. ‘It’s a pleasure to... to meet you,’ he stammered.

  Sandra smiled at him kindly. ‘It’s all a little overpowering, isn’t it?’

  ‘Yes,’ Sidney replied honestly and without embarrassment.

  Sandra was so amazing Sidney didn’t even bother trying to behave as if he wasn’t impressed. Certainly, Sidney was young and had his leg on the pulse - not that he cared one way or the other - as the coolest of spiders are always the ones who don’t try to be.

  Sidney was hugely impressed and he was happy to show it.

  ‘Take a seat over there.’ She pointed to a cart that looked like a golf buggy.

  Sitwell noticed the query in his son’s eyes. ‘It’s what they use to transport the astronauts but don’t worry,’ he said, ‘this one’s not functioning and is offline. You won’t be going anywhere,’ he added.

  ‘If you’ll excuse me, Sidney, I have flight preparation as does your father,’ Sandra said. ‘Wish us luck!’ she added as she saluted and crawled off to get ready.

  Sidney saluted in return and grinned at his dad. ‘Good luck, Dad.’

  ‘Thanks, Sidney. It shouldn’t take long. We’ll barely leave the Earth’s atmosphere, touch space, and come home again,’ he said. ‘I can’t tell you any more than that, son.’

  ‘I know, Dad, and I’ll be fine. I’ll be here waiting for you.’

  Sitwell smiled and scuttled off to get changed and prepared.

  This was an exciting turn of events. Sidney hadn’t expected his dad to blast off in the spaceship spider shuttle while he was there.

  How lucky was that!

  Although, he wished he could go up. He wished he was the one reporting to ground control and sitting at the cockpit and going through the pre-flight sequence like he’d been shown.

  One day, he thought.

  One day it would be him.

  One day…

  Chapter Five

  Now, I know what you’re thinking. That’s what she said in chapter one.

  All right, it’s coming, it’s coming, the best things happen to those who wait. Think tortoise not hare. No need to get your knickers in a twist, although... wouldn’t you rather hear about Sheila and the girl with the hair extensions that went wrong?

  What do you mean, no, let her have Spaghetti Junction on her head!

  A voice over the loudspeaker crackled into life.

  All personnel are to vacate the immediate area now. All personnel please vacate area now. Thank you.

  Sidney watched as a bunch of spiders scuttled all over the hangar but they appeared to do what they were supposed to without bumping into each other. Nobody took any notice of Sidney who was sitting quietly watching it all with wide-eyed fascination. He couldn’t wait to tell Sacha when he saw him on Monday.

  ‘I bet Sacha hasn’t had such an exciting day as me!’ Sidney wondered out loud. His stomach rumbled as if in reply and Sidney regretted going without breakfast.

  All he’d had was a cup of tea and a custard cream made from maggot paste and bluebottle wings.

  It was five minutes before take-off.

  Sitwell and Sandra, who had changed into their flight suits and been given their orders, were ready and waiting to board the ship and blast off on their test flight.

  Caution! Roof is now sliding back to allow ascent. Caution! Roof is now sliding back to allow ascent.

  Sidney sat back in his funny-looking golf buggy, as he thought of it, and decided to fasten his seat belt. He could at least pretend he was going up in space.

  He clicked the metal prong into its slot with a loud thud and a clonk. Suddenly, the tinted doors snapped shut and the buggy jolted forward. Sidney looked down at the seat belt then at the doors.

  What had made that happen? Had he done that?

  ‘Help!’ he yelled.

  No one heard. They were too busy going about their business. Nobody noticed the automated buggy trundling along on its rails on a direct route to none other than the spaceship spider shuttle.

  The same spaceship spider shuttle that was about to blast off in less than five minutes!

  ‘Help!’ Sidney called out again.

  This wasn’t supposed to happen. Not like this and certainly not now. He wanted to go up in space but not this minute.

  He unfastened his seat belt but still the buggy continued on its route.

  It just kept going!

  Sidney’s stomach began to heave and turn somersaults and he was glad he hadn’t eaten a large breakfast after all. Being reunited with his cup of tea and custard cream made from maggot paste and bluebottle wings would be bad enough.

  Yuck!

  The buggy continued to trundle along on its rails. It slipped through a sliding door that led to the spaceship spider shuttle. It approached closer and closer to the ship until with a sharp jolt it came to a halt. Sidney heard a clank and a noise like a bolt being shut when suddenly he was thrust upwards.

  Moments later the buggy stopped. The tinted doors slid open and Sidney stepped straight into the cockpit of the spaceship spider shuttle.

  Behind him the hatch slammed tightly shut.

  He scuttled over to the flight panel, sat down in the pilot’s seat, he swivelled the chair to one side, switched on the communications centre.

  ‘Hello, do you copy?’ No reply. ‘This is the spaceship spider shuttle, do you copy?’

  Silence. He flicked another switch and tried again. This has to be a dream, he thought. Or was it a nightmare? He was staring at the flashing lights in front of him when suddenly the countdown began to commence.

  ‘Help!’ he shouted. ‘Get me out of here... I’m not a celebrity. Yet!’

  ‘Who is this? Identify yourself.’

  ‘It’s Sidney Spider, Flight Major Sitwell’s son.’

  ‘Sidney! What on earth are you doing there?’

  ‘I’ve been asking myself that sam
e question.’

  ‘Sidney, listen to me. You’re going to have to fly her manually. Do you understand?’

  ‘What? You’re joking!’

  Fourteen.

  ‘We’re experiencing a computer malfunction and if we interrupt the take-off procedure there’s a chance she may blow up. Do you copy? You’re going to have to fly her manually or she could blow up.’

  Thirteen.

  ‘Oh, that’s just brilliant.’

  ‘Do you understand?’

  Twelve.

  ‘Yes, I understand. Fly her manually or I’m Sidney Spider space dust.’

  ‘Sidney? It’s your dad. Are you all right?’

  Eleven.

  ‘Just fine, Dad. No, of course I’m not all right!’

  ‘Sidney, stay calm. Whatever you do, keep your head. You’re in no danger if you take control. Do you hear me?’

  Ten.

  ‘Yes, Dad, I copy and I’m cool.’

  ‘Now, look to your left and you’ll see a small compartment in which you’ll find a spare helmet.’

  ‘Got it.’

  Nine.

  ‘Sidney, remember, the take-off is the most dangerous.’

  ‘Yes, thank you very much but funnily enough that hadn’t slipped my mind.’

  ‘So is the landing.’

  Eight.

  ‘Why did I ever want to become an astronaut? Someone please remind me because right now being a hairdresser like Mum seems so much safer... unless of course you get careless with a pair of scissors and then...’

  ‘Sidney! Do you have the helmet on?’

  ‘Yes, I have the helmet on.’

  Seven.

  ‘Attach the cable from the helmet into the socket directly in front of you.’

  ‘Okay, done it.’

  Six.

  ‘Are you strapped in your seat?’

  ‘Affirmative, Dad.’

  ‘Partial control has been restored, sir,’ another voice said over the intercom.

  Five.

  ‘Excellent! Now, Sidney, press the red button marked “seat position” you’ll find it on the panel on the arm of your seat.’

  Sidney looked for the button. Found it. He hit it once and held tight with his legs - all eight of them - he knew what was about to happen.

  Four. Engage engines and ignition sequence begin.

  The seat fell backwards in one swift movement. ‘I’m in horizontal position, Dad.’

  ‘Good. Now flick the switch on the side panel, you have to flick the switch and push the lever into the “on” position.’

  Three.

  Sidney flicked the switch with one leg and pushed the lever with another. He felt a huge jolt from beneath his seat as it locked into position.