Plum Spooky

  “Getting ready for the ball game,” he said. “What can I do you for?”

  Diesel gave him a business card that just said DIESEL. Nothing else. Not even a phone number. Strunchek took the card and looked confused. Probably wondering what the heck DIESEL meant.

  “We’d like to talk to you about Eugene Scanlon and Martin Munch,” Diesel said.

  “Martin Munch. It’s always about Martin Munch. I hate him. The only good thing he ever did was break Scanlon’s nose with his coffee mug.”

  Diesel and I exchanged glances and stepped inside.

  “You want a beer?” Strunchek asked.

  “Sure,” Diesel said. “What’s the deal with Munch?”

  “Lousy prima donna. Boy genius. Big whoopitydo. We’re supposed to be working on a sensor for the gizmo.”

  “Magnetometer?” Diesel asked.

  “Yeah. I do all the grunt work, and Munch is all the hell all over the place. He’s designing grids and he’s researching wavestrengths. Has nothing to do with our end of the project. Our end of the project is too boring, too small for the boy genius.”

  Diesel took his beer and chugged it. “What about Scan-​lon? Didn’t he keep Munch’s feet to the fire?”

  “Scanlon’s loving it. Scanlon’s encouraging Munch. And then, like this isn’t insulting enough, all of a sudden only Scanlon can see Munch’s research.”

  “Do you know what that research involved?” Diesel asked.

  Strunchek gave Diesel another beer. “Not entirely. We were part of HAARP, and Munch was pulling in data from them. In the beginning, he was just looking at it, saying it was interesting, and then he got into it. He was generating computer models of the power grid, and half the time I didn’t know what the heck he was talking about. I’m an engineer. Munch is Fred MacMurray inventing flubber.”

  “Do you know what the fight was about between Scanlon and Munch?”

  “I know this sounds crazy, but it was like they were arguing over a wolf. I only caught the end of it. It was after work hours, and I came back for my wallet. I’d got to the gas station and realized I left my wallet on my desk. I walked in and heard them yelling. I don’t think they knew I was there. Scanlon said the land was his, and there was no place for the wolf. He said the wolf was overstepping his bounds and would ruin everything. He told Munch the wolf was out, and if Munch didn’t like it, his runty little ass would be out of a job.” Strunchek drained his beer can and got another. “That was when Munch clocked Scan-​lon with the coffee mug and left. Munch was sensitive about his runty little ass. You could call Munch an asshole and a whoremonger, but you didn’t make cracks about his size.”

  “Do you know where Scanlon’s land was located?” I asked Strunchek.

  “No. That was the first I’d heard of it. I didn’t talk to Scanlon any more than I had to. And he didn’t show a lot of interest in talking to me.”

  “Munch was caught leaving with the magnetometer,” Diesel said.

  “Yeah, that was a lot of nerve. It was a prototype. It had the sensor in it that I redesigned.”

  “What about his computer?” Diesel asked. “Did he clean out his desk?”

  “No. He never came back. Scanlon went through the desk and had the computer wiped clean.”

  “Thanks,” Diesel said. “We appreciate your help.”

  “You sure you don’t want to stay for the game? I got a lot more beer.”

  “Some other time,” Diesel said.

  We buckled ourselves into the Subaru, and Diesel made a phone call.

  “I want to talk to someone about HAARP,” he said. “I’ll be back at the apartment in ten to fifteen minutes.”

  He disconnected and looked over at me. “I could get the information off the computer, but I’m Googled out and this will be faster.”

  Fifteen minutes later, we stepped out of the elevator and I saw a young guy standing in front of my door. He was cute, with brown hair that needed a cut, ratty sneakers, and baggy jeans. I put his age at twenty-​five. No wedding band. Five inches shorter than Diesel.

  He stared up at Diesel, smiled, and extended his hand. “Ivan. And you must be Diesel. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  “This won’t take long,” Diesel said, opening my door, ushering Ivan into my apartment.

  “No problem. I was in the area.”

  “Tell me about HAARP.”

  “HAARP stands for High-​Frequency Active Auroral Research Program. The HAARP facility in Alaska has a high-​frequency transmitter system that stimulates and controls ionospheric pro cesses that alter the per for mance of communications systems. In other words, it transmits radio waves into the Earth’s atmosphere to heat and temporarily modify the ionosphere. At least, in theory.”

  “Walk me through it,” Diesel said.

  “A signal is generated by a transmitter. The signal is delivered to an antenna array. In the case of the Alaskan station, there are one hundred and eighty antennae requiring thirty-​six hundred kilowatts of transmitter power. The antenna array directs the signal into the atmosphere, where it’s absorbed at an altitude between twenty to sixty miles. The ionosphere is heated, causing changes that can be mea sured with a magnetometer.”

  “What’s the purpose?”

  “It allows the scientific community to study atmospheric phenomena.”

  “Why would Wulf be interested?”

  “The Chinese have been experimenting with generating Very Low Frequency Waves in the ionosphere, hoping to control weather. So far as I know, they haven’t been very successful. If you could actually create weather, it would be worth something.”

  “What role would barium play in this?”

  “I suppose if you seeded the ionosphere with barium, you could increase the cold plasma density and accelerate the pro cess of manipulating atmospheric conditions.”

  “Like weather,” Diesel said.

  “Yeah. Like weather.”

  “Jeez,” I said. “Do you think Wulf is making an Evil Weather Machine?”

  Ivan looked over at me and smiled. “Civilians,” he said. “You gotta love ’em.”

  Diesel grinned and tugged at my hair. “She makes a mean grilled cheese.”

  “Hey,” Ivan said. “You don’t want to underestimate a good grilled cheese.”

  Diesel opened the door for him. “Thanks for taking the time to talk to me. I appreciate it. This was helpful.”

  “Anytime,” Ivan said.

  Diesel closed the door, and I narrowed my eyes at him. “Grilled cheese?”

  “Now what?”

  “You could have said I was smart or brave or trustworthy.”

  “I was going to tell him you were hot, but I was afraid you’d think it was sexist and kick me in the nuts.”

  “Grilled cheese is sexist!”

  “I don’t suppose you want to make me some lunch. All this talk about grilled cheese is making me hungry.”

  “I’ll only make you lunch because you’re so pathetic.”

  I slapped together three peanut butter and olive sandwiches. I kept one and I gave one to Diesel and one to Carl.

  “So is this a pity peanut butter sandwich?” Diesel asked.

  “You have a problem with that?”

  “Nope.” He looked at his sandwich. “It’s lumpy.”

  “It’s the olives.”

  “No shit.” He took a bite and sent me the smile with the dimples. “I like it. It’s a sandwich with a sense of humor.”

  “Do you think Wulf is trying to control weather? Munch said Wulf was going to take over the world.”

  “Sounds ambitious.” Diesel pulled the shopping list out of his pocket. “Ranger monitors the police bands. Ask him if WINK radio has had any transmitters stolen. I want to know how much of this list has been fulfilled. I’m going to the mall to see if I can find Solomon Cuddles. I’d like you to stay here and do some research on the list. See if you can identify local sources for the rockets and rocket fuel. Do not go out of the apartment. Do not
let anyone in. If Wulf shows up, call me immediately, and keep your door locked.”

  “What if he pops in?”

  “He can’t pop in, but he’s good with locks, so stay alert.”

  I called Ranger and asked him to check on the transmitter, and I looked in the Yellow Pages for rocket fuel. None listed. I called Ranger back and asked him where I’d find rocket fuel.

  “Solomon Cuddles would be the underground source for anything out of the box, rocket fuel included. There are a couple chemical plants in the Bayonne area that might also produce the components. I can check for you. I have the answer to your transmitter question. WINK hasn’t reported anything stolen. We called to double-​check, and they said nothing had been stolen, but one of their transmitters was damaged by freak lightning last night, and it’s being repaired.”

  “Thanks.”

  I couldn’t remember hearing rain last night. And everything seemed dry when I went out this morning. I wouldn’t have questioned the lightning strike, but the weather-​control seed had been planted in my head.

  I dialed Lula. “I want to check something out at WINK, and I don’t want to go alone.”

  “You called the right person. I’m bored to death.”

  Stephanie Plum 14.5 - Plum Spooky

  NINETEEN

  WINK WAS IN a rattrap, cement bunker-​type building in a part of the downtown business district that hadn’t been included in the beautification package. The parking lot was surrounded by chain-​link fence, the gate controlled by a security guard. There was a dish and a couple antennae on the roof and a sign on the front of the building telling people they were at WINK.

  I parked the Buick at the curb across the street from the lot, and we sat there for a half hour watching the building.

  “What are we doing?” Lula said.

  “Watching.”

  “For what?”

  “There’s a flatbed truck backed up to the building at the far side of the parking lot. It looks like there’s someone in the truck, behind the wheel, but I can’t see him. Two men in khaki uniforms are walking from the truck to the building, doing something. I’m pretty sure they’re supposed to be repairing a transmitter, but I think they might be stealing it.”

  “No way. How would you know that?”

  I gave Lula the sanitized version of Wulf and the Evil Weather Machine. And I told her about the shopping list.

  “Double no way” she said.

  I looked in my mirror and saw a black Rangeman SUV pull in behind me. Tank was at the wheel. I didn’t recognize his partner. We all got out and stood hands on hips.

  “Ranger saw you parked in front of the radio station and sent me to make sure everything is okay” Tank said.

  “It was okay before you showed up,” Lula said. “Now I’m not so sure. Do you still have those cats?”

  “Yeah. You want to see pictures?”

  Tank pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and showed us a picture of three cats sitting, looking at the camera.

  “This one’s Miss Kitty, and this is Suzy and this is Applepuff.”

  “You’re carry ing around pictures of your cats?” Lula said. “You never had a picture of me in your wallet, and we were engaged.”

  “I have big news about Applepuff,” Tank said. “I think she’s pregnant. I’m going to have kittens!”

  “Kittens! Are you prepared to have kittens? That’s a responsibility. Does Ranger know about this? I have a mind to tell Ranger.”

  “I’m going to find good homes for them,” Tank said.

  Lula sneezed and farted. “See what you do to me. Get away from me. You’re full of cat cooties.”

  “I can’t get away,” Tank said. “Ranger wants me to stay with Stephanie.”

  “You’re too late,” Lula said. “I’m already here. This could be a dangerous mission, and Stephanie needs me. And there’s no car big enough for the both of us.”

  “There would be if you’d lay off the fried chicken,” Tank said.

  Tank’s partner sucked in some air and took a step back.

  Lula leaned forward. “Did you just say what I think you said?”

  “No,” Tank said. “I didn’t say that. I don’t know where that came from. You make me crazy. Look at me. I’m sweating. You scare the heck out of me.”

  “It’s unnatural the way you sweat,” Lula said. “You should have it looked into.”

  Tank’s partner was making a big show of looking at his watch. “I should be getting back to Rangeman,” he said. “I’m supposed to do something.”

  Tank turned to me. “Ranger wants Jim to bring the Buick back to your lot, and I’m supposed to drive you around.”

  Good deal. I had Tank to protect me from Wulf. I gave Jim the car keys, and Jim smiled wide.

  “Cool car,” he said. “I’ll take real good care of it.”

  Men love the Buick. Truth is, it reminds me of Lula. A lot of rumble, you have to muscle it around, and it’s got great big headlights.

  The flatbed truck was still parked, and I hadn’t seen the uniformed men in a while. I was beginning to worry I might be wrong. I mean, what are the chances that someone could actually control weather? Zero? And what are the chances that these uniformed guys were sent by Wulf to steal a radio-​station transmitter? It was preposterous.

  “You guys stay here and wait for me,” I said to Tank and Lula. “I’m going inside to snoop around.”

  “I gotta go with you,” Tank said. “Ranger will kill me if anything happens to you.”

  “Me, too,” Lula said. “I’m sticking to you like glue.”

  “I’m going across the street to a radio station. Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

  “I’ll be real discreet,” Tank said.

  As discreet as a six-​foot-​six, no-​neck guy weighing three hundred and fifty pounds, all dressed in black SWAT clothes, with a Glock holstered at his side could be.

  “Me, too,” Lula said. “I’ll discreet your ass off.”

  Tank and I looked at her. She was wearing a traffic-​stopping, orange, fake fur jacket, a poison green spandex skirt that stopped just short of her ass, green ankle boots that matched the skirt, and her hair was sunflower yellow.

  I allowed myself a small sigh of defeat, and I crossed the street with Tank and Lula on my heels. I pushed through the front door into a small, dark lobby with a tattered rug and sad, worn-​out furniture. No money in radio, I thought. A woman behind a receptionist desk focused on us.

  “Can I help you?” she said.

  “I’m from the Trenton Times,” I said. “We’re doing a feature story on WINK, and I’m doing some preliminary work, scouting out a front-​page photo op.”

  “I didn’t hear anything about it,” she said. “You’re not on my schedule.”

  “Well, how about us?” Lula said. “Are we on your schedule?”

  “Who are you?”

  “I’m Lula. Who the heck do you think? And this here’s Tank.”

  The woman scanned her list of names.

  “Jelly bean counting contest,” I told the receptionist. “They’re part of the photo shoot.”

  Lula sneezed and farted. “Excuse me,” she said to the receptionist. “It’s not my fault. I’m allergic to the cat lady here.”

  “That’s mean,” Tank said. “Men can have cats, too. Cats guarded royal houses back in Egypt.”

  “If they guarded my house, I’d be dead,” Lula said. “I’d sneeze myself into the grave. And a lot you care. You picked a cat over me.”

  “It was one of those fate things,” Tank said. “It’s just these cats came along. It wasn’t like I was looking for them.”

  “I should have known. Right from the beginning, Miss Gloria said our moons were incompatible.”

  The receptionist perked up at that. “I know Miss Gloria. Miss Gloria does my charts.”

  “Get out,” Lula said. “Don’t you love her? You couldn’t live without her, right?”

  “I don’t make
a move without Miss Gloria’s say-​so. One time, I was driving to work, and I was on the phone with her, and she told me I was gonna be in an accident, and next thing you know, I rear-​ended a guy.”