Big O's

  “Don’t you worry about me,” I told him, watching Raye from the corner of my eye.

  She was pretty at home in the kitchen, even my small, mostly useless one. I could fry an egg and burn bacon with the best of them, and heating up canned soups and making a grilled cheese ranked right up there with my ability to make cereal, but that was about the end of my kitchen skills.

  Clearly, Raye outreached me in that area.

  She was whipping eggs in a bowl. Whipping or beating, whatever it was, and she did it with an ease that told me she was no stranger to the task.

  “I can’t help but worry. If she causes trouble, then I’m partly to blame,” Austen said, his young voice sharp.

  “We’re going to take care of that,” I told him, turning my gaze to meet his. “I was going to call you about that later today, but since you’re here…” Blowing out a breath, I shrugged off my unease about talking to the police and told him, “I think you’re right about going to the cops. Not so much about her so-called rape story, but because the two of you were intimate. She’s twenty-five, Austen. You’re seventeen.”

  “So?” He blinked at me, looking confused.

  “You’re a minor.” Bracing my elbows on the table, I leaned forward and met his eyes. “Did she ever ask you how old you were? Did you ever tell her?”

  “I…hell. No.” He scoffed, clearly embarrassed but trying to hide it. “What’s that matter?”

  “It’s called statutory rape. The law is meant to keep adults from preying on minors…kind of like Calie preyed on you.”

  “Look, man…” He shifted around, looking uncomfortable. “I mean, she came on to me, but it wasn’t like I didn’t want it or anything.”

  “She took advantage of a kid for her own selfish purposes.” I held his eyes. “If she thinks she can use you to get to me, she’s going to have to think again.”

  “Kane and Austen Jonson?”

  A tired looking detective in a rumpled suit stood in the doorway, eying us.

  Raye stood when we did, her hand coming out to take mine. “You want me to come with you?”

  I nodded, surprised at how much easier it had been to walk into the police station with her at my side.

  She gave Austen an encouraging smile as we started toward the cop. I knew enough about cops after my dealing with them to know the guy in front of us had to be at least a detective.

  He looked too young to be much higher ranked than that, although there was age in his eyes, a look that said he’d seen some shit.

  Once we were at his desk, he gestured for us to sit, then he frowned, taking note of Raye and added, “I’ll dig up another seat.”

  I let Raye take the second one, opting to stand for as long as I could.

  Once the cop brought a chair over, though, I accepted it out of courtesy and told him thanks. Maybe being nice would win me some brownie points. Still, I wasn’t sure if this trip to the police station was going to do us much good. I’d even warned Austen that we might be wasting our time.

  With my history, they might just write us off, which meant I needed to start thinking about the next alternative in case Calie did come in and try to press charges.

  My gut churned just thinking about it.

  I hadn’t put hands on her in a couple of weeks, but it would come down to her word against mine. Her word against mine and my brother’s. And my brother had been with her.

  Fuck, this was a mess.

  “I’m Detective Gus Winters, and I’ll be handling your complaint today, Mr. Jonson.” He nodded at me, then glanced at Austen. He clicked on the mouse on his computer, then asked, “Curious…are you related to a firefighter by the name of Eddie?”

  “Yeah.” I summoned up the polite smile my mother had drilled into me. “He’s my brother.”

  “That a fact?” A smile lit the tired detective’s face. “You’re the mechanic, then? Eddie’s mentioned you. He’s good people, Eddie is.” The cop’s eyes slid to Austen, and he nodded at him. “He’s mentioned you, too. You’re the youngest one, right? I’m also the youngest in my family. Five brothers, pains in the ass, all of them.”

  Austen squirmed, looking a little uncomfortable. “They ain’t so bad. At least not all the time.”

  Winters barked out a laugh. “They ain’t so bad when you need them. That’s the truth. Family’s family, right?”

  He cracked his neck, turning his head to the left, then to the right. “Alright, folks. Why don’t you tell me what brings ya down here today?”

  After a quick look at Austen, I started to talk.

  Winters took it all down, his face a blank mask that revealed absolutely nothing, but when he was done taking the information, he leaned back in the seat.

  “You can press charges. Is that what you want to do?”

  “I…” Austen looked at me, then at the cop. “I can press charges?”

  But the cop was staring at me. “He’s a minor.”

  “I know. But this will boil down to he said, she said.” I frowned, glancing over at Raye.

  “There’s a picture,” she said softly, reminding me.

  I leaned in close, shaking my head. “Just of him in her bed. It’s something, but not everything.”

  The cop was clearly listening.

  “I don’t want to press charges,” Austen said, speaking in a firm voice. “I mean…shit. I knew what was going down. I was stupid, and I feel stupider knowing she did it all to get to my brother, but I knew what was going down. I’d rather the whole world not know how stupid I was.”

  The cop tapped a pen on his desk, eyes thoughtful.

  “Maybe what we can do is this. Take the complaint. Hold off doing anything. If she comes in to file charges…then we decide.” Winters slid a look from Austen to me. “Of course, it really is up to the guardian…”

  Austen paled. “Mom…”

  “I’ll handle talking to Mom,” I told him. She was going to be pissed. Nobody fucked around with her boys. I’d be lucky if she didn’t hit the streets looking for Calie herself. “I think that sounds like the best way to handle it,” I finally said.

  “Okay.” Winters leaned back over his desk, punching at the keyboard in a staccato fashion. “I’m making a note in the system. If she does come in, I get flagged. As long as it happens during the day, I’ll get notified, and I’ll handle it. Regardless of when it does happen, if it happens, I’ll get word of it, and I’ll be in contact. Okay?”

  It was, I decided, the best outcome we could hope for.

  34

  Raye

  It was amazing the difference a day could make.

  I could have skipped my way to work, I felt so light. It sounded silly, and I couldn’t really put a finger on what had changed. Unless it was true, and I’d really, deeply, honestly opened myself up to another human being. To a man. To Kane.

  It had made all the difference in the world, though.

  In truth, I felt a little odd, feeling so light inside while knowing that Calie could still cause trouble for Austen and Kane. The thing was, my gut doubted it would come to much, and for my part, I knew the brothers hadn’t hurt her.

  If I was honest, I’d known that truth deep down from the first moment the accusation had been made.

  It had never made sense. It hadn’t fit.

  No man with the ability to make me feel as safe as Kane could be the sort of man who’d force himself on another woman.

  But getting one part of me to accept that truth while I was still struggling to trust Kane after everything I’d gone through was a different story.

  I’d let those walls down, though.

  I trusted him, and it had changed everything.

  “What are you smiling about?”

  I glanced up to see Emery waiting at the computer in the back, probably for me to clock in so she could do the same. “Am I smiling?” I asked.

  “Only a little.” She winked at me. “He must be amazing.”

  “Ah…yeah. Yeah, he is.” I wasn’t sure
if amazing touched Kane, but at least it gave an idea. Hurriedly, I clocked in so Emery could do the same.

  “Well, good for you. I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume it wasn’t that asswipe from the other day.” Emery clocked in and turned to face me, her long brown hair swept up in a half ponytail that put her beautiful features on display. Her bright green eyes met mine, and she rolled them emphatically. “I can see why you didn’t want to wait on him. Talk about a douche.”

  The reminder of Chad was one I could have done without, but I refused to let it dull my mood.

  I gave her a smile and nodded. “We went to the same college my freshman year.” Hesitating a moment, I finally said, “He…ah…he hassled me a lot, you know?”

  “He seems like the type. Thinks he’s God’s gift, and when he finds out he’s not, he turns into the biggest dick.” Emery shook her head. “I’ve met the kind, honey. Believe me. Best to just steer clear of that shit.”

  It felt good to have somebody validate my feelings about him, but I didn’t elaborate as we headed out to the sales floor. The morning shift was happy to be relieved, and once we’d traded out, I offered to handle bringing in the new stock from the back of the store.

  The first few hours passed easily enough, but that dreaded lull in the afternoon came as expected, and Emery left for her lunch hour right as I was debating whether to take mine or not.

  The store manager was in the back, and I was alone in the front when the bell tone signified a customer. The sight of the man filling the doorway caused bile to churn in my stomach. It was the absolute last person I wanted to see.

  Don’t panic.

  Kane’s voice from the lessons he’d given me rose up to murmur from the back of my mind, and I tucked them deep inside. Don’t panic.

  It was harder than I liked because, as he stood there, Chad took a long, slow look around the sales floor, and I couldn’t help but notice the way he smiled when he saw it was just him and me.

  Think that’s going to be your advantage, dickhead?

  I couldn’t help the spurt of anger that rose inside me. The asshole had come back here, looking for me. I knew he had. To harass? To hurt? How far was he willing to go? How far was I?

  As he took a step in my direction, I edged away, careful to keep something in between us the entire time.

  When you can, you want to keep him from getting close. That’s always the best tactic. Got it?

  Like we were back together in his garage, Kane’s voice guided me.

  “Raye…” Chad smiled at me, his lips peeling back from his teeth in a broad, easy grin.

  “Did you need something, Chad?” I asked, keeping my voice calm and level.

  He hitched up a shoulder. I noticed that at some point in the past two years all that muscle had started to go a little soft. He was still big and solid, but there was a layer of fat that hadn’t been there before.

  “We just never had much of a chance to finish talking.” He edged closer, eying me over the table I kept between us. “I thought maybe I’d drop by again. See if you wanted to go out…grab a bite to eat.” His lashes drooped low, and he added, “We could catch up on old times.”

  “There’s nothing I want to catch up on, thanks.” I held his eyes levelly, surprised I had the guts to do it.

  A grin spread across his face, and I could see the laughter in his eyes.

  Laughter…and knowledge.

  He knew what he was doing to me.

  The piece of shit.

  “Aw, come on, Raye.” He moved a little faster and tried to come around the table to corner me.

  I dodged in the other direction, feeling a little foolish at the Ring Around the Rosie game we were playing, but I wasn’t letting him get close to me either.

  “What’s the matter, Raye?” He gave me the same wide, charming grin he’d flashed a hundred co-eds. “You look a little spooked. You got ants in your pants or something? Stop dancing around and talk to me.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you. If you’re not going to buy something, maybe you should just leave.”

  His mouth tightened then, and he moved toward me once more, quicker this time. My high heel caught on the display, causing me to slip a little. That tiny hesitation was just enough for him to pounce, and he caught me up against the table.

  Instinct took over, and I reacted, striking up with my hand the way Kane had told me to.

  Of course, he hadn’t told me it would hurt.

  I jabbed Chad straight in the neck, and he stumbled back, his face red as he choked for air. The red slowly turned to rage, though, and he swiped out with a hand.

  I wasn’t where I had been, and he came up empty.

  When he swung out again, he swung wild, and I stepped outside his reach, slapping both my hands against his arm before shoving him off balance. “I’m not the easy target I used to be, Chad. Leave me the hell alone.”

  He spun around to face me, his eyes huge and furious.

  But when he took a step toward me, I jutted my chin up. “Leave me alone,” I warned him. “Come near me again, and I’ll call the cops.”

  He sneered at me. “Yeah, like that worked out for you so well last time.”

  “I’m not some scared little freshman, desperate for people to like her anymore,” I said, curling my lip at him. “And this isn’t your town. If I call the cops, people are going to listen to me.”

  He scoffed and opened his mouth to speak, but I didn’t give him the chance.

  “And what’s more…if you keep fucking with me, I’m going to go online and ruin you.” I took a step closer to him and glared at him in challenge. “What do you think your boss and clients will think when you’re accused of being a rapist, Chad?”

  “You little cunt…” He lifted a hand, his face florid with rage.

  Fear bloomed inside me, but I didn’t take back what I said. “What’s the matter? You scared?” I challenged.

  The creaking of the door was the only indicator that something had changed.

  I heard it.

  Chad didn’t.

  He advanced on me, and I stood my ground. I had a witness. If he touched me, I was taking him down.

  But before his hands came down on my shoulders, my manager said, “Raye, is there a problem here?”

  The sound of her voice had never been so welcome, yet at the same time, I was disappointed that she stopped him before a physical threat had been witnessed. Turning my head, I looked at Pauline and met her gaze. “No, ma’am. Everything’s fine. This gentleman was just leaving.”

  The look Chad gave me on his way out the door was a familiar one. I’d seen it a dozen times – no, more – during my freshman year in college. I’m not done with you, that look said.

  I managed to suppress a shudder as I turned to focus on my manager. Pauline gave me a concerned look, her dark eyes softening as she studied me. “Raye, is everything alright?”

  “I’ll be fine,” I told her.

  I just hoped I wasn’t lying.

  35

  Kane

  Let me decide…

  Her words kept circling around in my head, and I wished I would have thought to ask her what she needed to decide on.

  I mean, I knew what I thought she’d meant, but I wanted to be certain.

  I still thought she deserved somebody better to take care of her, but she knew I wanted her. No. I more than wanted her, I wanted to be that guy.

  And if she wanted me like I wanted her, there was no chance in hell of me walking away from her. From us.

  But I needed to be sure that was what she’d meant.

  How you going to be sure of that, genius?

  There was only one way, logically, and that was for us to have one of those relationship talks.

  The idea scared the shit out of me and for good reason. I’d never been in a relationship, so the idea of a relationship talk was new to me. New and unfathomable.

  I was approaching a lot of unfathomable territory with her, though. br />
  Like…do I go and see her today?

  Should I give her space?

  I had no idea what the right thing to do was, or if there was a right thing.

  What I did know was that I couldn’t quit thinking about her and I most definitely did want to see her, so when the time came for me to close up shop, I did so in double time, moving through the routine quicker than normal so I could get the hell out of there.

  Once I was done, I headed uptown, eager to see her. I hoped she was still at work because I had no idea where she lived.

  That was another thing I hoped to change.

  I wanted to know where she lived, what she did when she wasn’t working and what sort of things she liked, what she hated.

  I also found myself brooding about what she’d told me.

  It made sense.

  As much as I’d hated to hear her story, none of it had surprised me. I’d known there was something at the core of the fear I’d often seen in her, but to hear the whole thing…

  The urge to protect her, to keep anything else in life from hurting her again was almost overwhelming.

  Maybe I’d ask her if we could go out to dinner and we could have that…talk.

  If not, I’d ask if I could at least see her home. I didn’t like to think about her going home alone late at night. Not by herself. She’d already been through enough, and nobody knew better than me what kind of low-lives loitered in the New York City streets.

  I’d been one of them and I sure as hell hadn’t been the worst.

  As the subway came to a stop, I gripped the pole a little tighter and tried to pretend I wasn’t nervous about seeing her. Getting nervous about a girl, brooding about a girl. Things that were so unfamiliar to me, I couldn’t even process them.