Loving

  “Next?” He looked at her. “What do you mean?”

  “Well …” Bailey absently twisted a long strand of her hair. He’d mentioned something in the announcement about doing movies one at a time. But she figured that was just what he had to say for now. Something his team had insisted on until the legalities with West Mark could be worked out. She turned slightly so she could see his profile better. “Isn’t the studio working on another revision, a scenario you can live with?”

  They were still on the road that led out of her neighborhood. Brandon eased the car to a stop on the side of the road. He slipped the gear into park. “Bailey.” He put his hand on the side of her face, his tone so sincere it was like she had a front row seat in the arena of his heart.

  “Yes.” Her voice was a whisper. She was afraid, afraid to know the details of what lay ahead.

  Brandon’s tone was gentle, a caress that soothed every jagged nerve inside her. “There’s only one scenario I can truly live with.” The look in his eyes told her the depth of his sincerity. “I can only live if I have you. If I’m here with you.” His smile shone deep in his eyes. “I’m not signing a long-term contract. Not ever.”

  “What?” The word was little more than a breath.

  “No, baby.” He ran his thumb along her cheekbone. “Never. One movie at a time, and even then, maybe not for a while.” He looked at her, grabbed hold of the gear again, and his eyes sparkled with the kindness that had won her over from the beginning. “You’ll understand more in a little while.”

  Her heart struggled to grasp what he was saying. But right now she could only believe him. She could understand later. The way she trusted him must’ve showed in her eyes, because he seemed to visibly relax. From her neighborhood he drove into town toward the university and the Starbucks not far from campus. He parked across the street and stared at the entrance. “This is it.” He turned to her. “Remember this?”

  A memory came to life, starting deep within her and working its way to the surface. “The first time we hung out.” The moment seemed like a lifetime ago. He had flown into town to read with her for her role of Ella in Unlocked. “You private messaged me that you were looking forward to it.” She laughed and the release felt so good. After the day of waiting and wondering, this felt like a dream. “My brothers couldn’t believe it.”

  He reached for her hand. “And then I strutted into the audition room all full of myself.”

  “You were pretty arrogant.” She glanced at the Starbucks awning. “When we walked in here that day I was like, ‘I could never be interested in a celebrity like him.’”

  “And I was thinking, ‘Whoever this Cody is, he’s the luckiest guy in the world.’” His smile fell off. “I figured he’d be crazy to ever let you go.”

  “Hmmm.” The truth would always be telling. The fact that Cody had walked away. But then if he hadn’t run from her, her heart never would’ve been open to love Brandon. “So weird how much has happened since then.”

  “Come on,” he nodded at the Starbucks. “Let’s get coffee.”

  Bailey felt herself tense up the minute they stepped out of the Tahoe. This would normally be the moment when, from several surrounding cars, photographers would spill out and run after them, shouting and firing off rapid camera shots. Instead, a couple of strangers walked slowly by, arm in arm, unaware of Bailey and Brandon. As they crossed the street there was only the sound of happy voices from college kids as they sat at the outdoor tables in front of the coffee shop and an adjacent café.

  “This sort of proves my theory.” He grinned at her as they walked inside. “No one notices us here. That, or they don’t care.”

  It was true. Bailey felt the instant tension in her shoulders ease and as they got to the end of a line of ten people, no one even did a double take. She looked at him, confused. “But … when you were here filming people lined up six deep to see you.”

  “The papers told everyone I was here filming, that something big was going on downtown.” He chuckled. “Of course they came.”

  They were in line three minutes before two teenage girls walked by, paused, and hurried out giggling with their drinks. The first of the two gave Brandon a slight wave, her cheeks red. “Hi!” The word was more of a squeal. She definitely recognized him, but she didn’t stop for an autograph or a picture. Her friend simply pushed her along and gave Bailey and Brandon an apologetic look. “She’s crazy. Don’t mind her.” And like that the two girls left the coffee shop.

  Bailey glanced at the other patrons. They were all busy in their own conversations, caught up in their homework or phone calls or personal lives. “Are you kidding me?” Her laugh held proof of her disbelief.

  “I know.” He slipped his arm around her. “We could live with this, right? That’s how life would be here.”

  It was their turn to order, so she didn’t have time to think deeply about what he’d said. It wasn’t the first time that night he’d referred to living in Bloomington. Or was he only saying that rhetorically? Like he would be here with her more often? The answers were coming, that’s what he’d told her. So they ordered and took their drinks back to the SUV and this time they headed back toward Clear Creek.

  “I’ll never forget those weeks working with you on the set of Unlocked.” He angled his head, a tenderness in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. “I was one way when we started that movie, and completely changed by the time we finished it. A new person.” He set his drink in the cup holder. “Literally. And you know where it all began?”

  Bailey realized they had reached Clear Creek High School. She looked at the series of buildings and the football stadium in the distance and she remembered everything this place meant to her. The buildings held memories of four years of high school, four years of homecomings and winter dances and too many football games to count. It was where she had first fallen for Cody Coleman. But with all that her eyes found his. They had filmed Unlocked here, after all. “That time … here, with you. Best memories I have at Clear Creek.” She meant every word. “You always made me laugh.”

  “Which was a little awkward.” He gave her a silly look. “I mean, it wasn’t a comedy.”

  “It’s amazing I could say my lines at all.”

  He slipped the car into park and took both her hands in his. “Wanna know my favorite memory here?”

  “Let me guess.” She let herself get lost in his eyes, and the picture he made with the moonlight shining on his face. “When you were teasing me. Like you always were.” He would even joke about her pretend boyfriend, because Cody never showed up on set, never called when she was around Brandon. Another telling sign she’d struggled to see back then. She smiled at him. “Or the time it took eleven takes to get our hallway scene right? I thought they were going to fire us both.”

  The memory started a bout of laughter for the two of them, and Brandon let his head lean back against the seat until he could catch his breath. “I can imagine how I must’ve looked. Thinking I could flirt with you and win you over in a minute. Like you were any other girl.” His laughter died down and he stared at her. In a moment that stopped time, he leaned closer and kissed her. As he drew back, his eyes were the same as when they’d danced on the Kellers’ roof. Completely and totally lost in hers. “But you, Bailey … you were never like any other girl.”

  She felt the thrill of his words, his eyes on hers, the nearness of him. “So tell me … your favorite memory.”

  “Mmmm.” He didn’t look away. “That’s easy. The time you and I went to Lake Monroe Beach. The things I told you that day, I’d never told anyone before.”

  “It was the first time I saw you as more than a costar.” She gave his hands a gentle squeeze. “After that, you were my friend.”

  “And after that I wasn’t crushing on you.” His smile was gone, and he looked utterly taken by her. “I was in love with you.” He didn’t pause long. “You had Cody, so I couldn’t tell you.”

  “Really?” Bailey never
would’ve guessed. After that day at the lake and in Cody’s constant absence, of course she and Brandon had grown closer. “I didn’t think you had real feelings for me until you flew here to help me pack for New York.” She leaned her forehead against his so that his eyes were all she could see. “I mean … who does that?”

  He took tender hold of her face, his movements slow and deliberate, and again he kissed her. “I would’ve flown to the moon and back for you, Bailey. Then … and now.” He kissed her once more. “Always.”

  How good it felt to be wanted like this, to be cared for and loved and pursued and fought for. She put her arms around his neck and for a long time they stayed that way, holding on to each other so that nothing and no one could ever pull them apart again. Finally Brandon drew a deep breath and sat back in his seat. “One more place to go.”

  As they drove, Bailey’s heart felt like it might burst from joy, from the unbelievable reality this night had turned into. Before they pulled out of the parking lot, Brandon slipped a CD into the car stereo. “I made a playlist for tonight. The first song … ‘Forever Love’ is from Francesca Battistelli,” he explained. “It’s how I’ve felt since I met you.”

  Her eyes welled up. She stared at him, and couldn’t look away as he started the song. She hadn’t heard it before, but it was beautiful from the first line, talking about a forever kind of love, the love of God and ultimately — from Brandon’s perspective — the sort of love he had for her. The windows were partially down and Bailey felt the summer wind play in her hair. She smiled at Brandon and she could see in his eyes exactly when he forget everything but her. By the time the song reached the chorus, Bailey could feel tears on her cheeks. She absorbed the beauty of the lyrics, telling about a love that fully and wholly consumed the heart. Between the lines she could see in Brandon’s expression his prayers, his hopes and dreams, and how very much he loved her.

  You are my forever love … from the bottom of my heart I’ll sing to you, from the depths of who I am I’ll love you …

  Brandon glanced at her as he drove, and it was as if he were singing straight to her soul. The chorus played out and as it finished, every word seemed written for them. And as the song wrapped up, Bailey lived in every line.

  Bailey could barely breathe. The song wasn’t talking about any sort of love, it was talking about the rare sort of love God had for them, and their love for Him. And because of that very great love, the song celebrated the way the two of them felt for each other. No question the song was talking about a forever that could only come through faith and commitment. Maybe even a lifelong commitment.

  Tears shone in Brandon’s eyes too, and as the song ended he reached for her hand once more. He turned the stereo off and for a long time neither of them said anything. He was taking her to Lake Monroe, she could see that. And as he pulled into the upper lot, she remembered the last time they were here, the walk they’d taken and the fire pit they’d found. He parked the Tahoe and turned to her. “This is the last stop.”

  They left their coffees and again he opened the door for her. The night air was still warm, still humid the way summers in Indiana always were. But a breeze stirred in the trees and Bailey felt wonderful. Every second, every breath absolutely in sync with Brandon’s.

  Night was falling over Bloomington, so he took a backpack from the seat behind her and pulled a flashlight out before he slipped the pack over his shoulders. He smiled and took her hand. Everything about the moment felt sacred, like words would only interrupt the connection they shared here now. He used the flashlight so they could see clearly, and he led her to the same path they’d walked on the Fourth of July, toward the fire pit.

  As they neared it Bailey spotted the lights. Two soft spotlights aimed at the pit and the lake. The area around it looked lit up like something from a movie set. Bailey looked around, but they were the only ones here. She looked at him. “Brandon?”

  “I’m tired of being in the dark.” He grinned, but the depth, the intensity of the moment remained. He turned off the flashlight. “Come sit with me.”

  Her heart beat harder than before. She followed him and sat down. As she did, he opened the backpack and pulled out a manila envelope. Again she didn’t feel the need for questions or words. Whatever was happening, Brandon had planned this out. Right down to the lights.

  He took the envelope to the fire pit and only then did she notice the small pile of fresh-cut logs and brittle branches. And something else — something that made her breath stop for a few seconds. Beside the fire pit was a table and on it was a pack of matches, a bucket of ice, and two long-stemmed glasses. And in the ice bucket was a bottle of orange soda — just like Brandon had brought to their rooftop prom.

  Bailey’s senses were heightened, her heart and soul aware of Brandon’s every move. He looked at her, his eyes sparkling in the pretty light from the lamps behind them. For a few seconds he seemed to struggle for words, but then he held up the envelope. “Inside is the contract. The one thing —” He paused and looked down. When he looked up his eyes were damp again. “The one thing that could’ve stopped me from being with you.” With shaking hands he ripped the envelope open and sifted handfuls of little white pieces over the logs in the fire pit.

  Without saying a word he took the matches and almost ceremoniously lit one. Then he held it near the paper. Bailey felt her knees tremble. She’d never felt like this in all her life. She was on her feet, drawn to the scene; mesmerized as she moved to the edge of the fire pit. She watched as the ripped-apart contract acted as kindling for the fire. A fire that Bailey understood now would never go out.

  “Baby …” He stood slowly and came to her. With the fire crackling beside them, he took her hands. “Nothing is going to come between us again.” The tears in his eyes fell onto his cheeks. “I don’t need another movie or another dollar … or another day being chased by paparazzi.” He put his hand alongside her face, lost in her eyes. “I must’ve been crazy not to see it before.”

  “It was me too.” She wiped at the tears on her own cheeks. “I never should’ve left you. If you wanted to live on the moon I should’ve been willing.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “I love you that much, Brandon. I do.”

  They came together in a hug and Bailey could no longer tell where her soul ended and his began. No one had ever understood her like Brandon did.

  As he stepped back, he searched her eyes. “You deserve better than me, Bailey. My past … it’s so different from yours.”

  “That’s not—”

  He shook his head slightly and touched his finger softly to her lips. “Wait.” He looked more intent, more serious than before. “Here’s the thing.” He looked at her in a way that saw all of her heart. “I know I’m undeserving, but I’m a new man in Christ. That’s why I haven’t stopped fighting for you, going after you, and believing … that with God’s forever kind of love I can be the one-in-a-million guy you deserve. Because that’s what redemption looks like.”

  Her tears came harder now. Wasn’t this what she had wanted for so many years? A love that would go after her, fight for her, lay itself bare for her? “I’m not perfect either. No one is.”

  “You’re close.” He smiled and ran his thumb lightly over her cheek. “Remember when we came to the lake that first time? You told me I didn’t really want you … I wanted your faith. Remember that?”

  Bailey nodded. “Yes.” With all her being she never wanted this moment or the closeness between them to end. “I remember.”

  “You were right. What I was drawn to in you … what I’m still drawn to is your faith, the way you love God and people. That’s why you deserve so much.” He smiled again. “Not really because you’re perfect. But because He is.”

  Every word, everything he said was exactly how she had always felt. It was how she had hoped Cody would feel, only Cody never got this very simple truth and so he had run from her. Brandon ran too. But because he understood about redemption, he had run toward her.

/>   Always toward her.

  They hugged again and this time he framed her face with his hands. As he did, from somewhere in the nearby bushes came the beautiful sound of the same song Brandon had played for her in the car. Francesca Battistelli’s “Forever Love.” The music wasn’t too loud or overwhelming. But it made the entire moment feel like a scene from the most beautiful love story ever written.

  Brandon searched her eyes and quietly sang along. “You are my forever love … you’re my forever love.”

  “I love you.” She clung to him, her face close to his. “I always will.”

  And with that, as if all her life had led to this moment, his eyes welled up again and he dropped slowly to one knee.

  Bailey’s hand flew to her mouth and she took a half step backwards. Because how could God love her enough to clear away every obstacle, every hesitation, and bring her to this moment? All her life she’d prayed about the man she would marry, prayed for him and dreamed of him and asked God to lead him to her.

  And now …

  She held her breath and watched as he pulled a small box from his pocket. No matter what else happened in all her life she would remember this moment, every rustle of wind in the trees and the smell and sound of the fire. Honeysuckle sweet in the summer air, the soft lighting all around and the song filling the spaces between them. And the absolute pure and all-consuming look of love on Brandon Paul’s face.

  She would remember all of it.

  “Bailey …” He held out the ring to her. The glow from the moon on the lake and the fire beside them shone on his face, while the soft lights on the other side erased any shadows that might have otherwise fallen over the moment. “Let me love you, let me lead you and protect you. Marry me, Bailey … Please marry me?”

  There was no hesitating. “Yes, Brandon. Yes, a million times, yes.” She put her hands on his shoulders so she wouldn’t fall from the weight of emotion and love and caring she felt overflowing from her heart. Here on this sacred lakeside path God was giving them both a miracle and her yes was as easy as her next breath.