Loving

  He would remember all of it, and as he turned in that night he remembered one enormously important aspect of this, their wedding weekend.

  The faithfulness of God, who alone had brought them to this point, and who would weave their hearts together from this day forward. So that one day when they had a precious daughter and she fell in love and found herself standing at the front of a church looking into the eyes of the man who was everything to her, Brandon and Bailey would be lost in their own moment, caught up in a look of love that had survived the decades.

  Like Jim and Jenny Flanigan.

  BAILEY DIDN’T WANT TO BE OUT TOO LATE the night before her wedding. She’d had a plan since she was twelve years old about how she would spend this night. After saying goodnight to Brandon, she headed home with her parents and brothers. All of them, together in the family car, the way she doubted they would ever be all together again.

  “It’s sort of weird.” Ricky sat behind Bailey. He put his hands on her shoulders and leaned close. “It’s like the last night you’re part of our family.”

  “Ricky!” Connor sat beside Bailey, and at that comment he turned, more surprised than outraged. “Don’t say that.”

  “You know what I mean.” Ricky allowed a little frustration into his tone at the possibility of being misunderstood. “Like after this she won’t live here and she’ll ride around with Brandon.” He looked at their mom in the rearview mirror. “Right, Mom? You get it, don’t you?”

  Her eyes shifted to Bailey’s, and in a handful of seconds a lifetime of memories flashed in her sad smile. She turned back to Ricky. “Yes, honey. I get it.”

  “Yeah, but she’ll still be part of our family.” Connor slipped his arm around her shoulders. “She’ll be over all the time and nothing will change.”

  Bailey let the thought hang in the warm air that blew through the open Suburban windows. As she did, she slowly rested her head on Connor’s shoulder. From the corner of her eyes she saw a single tear roll down Connor’s cheek. She wasn’t surprised. Her brother, the one who had been her best friend growing up, certainly knew that the truth was something they would all have to accept.

  After tomorrow everything would change.

  They pulled into the driveway just before nine, and as they climbed out of the SUV her dad turned to her and held up his hands, giving her a look that said the decision was hers. “Are we on?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Good.” Her dad smiled even while his eyes glistened. “I’ve looked forward to this since the first time we saw it together.” Her dad and mom joined hands. They walked a few steps ahead and her mom smiled back at her as they went. “I’ll get it set up.”

  “I’ll make popcorn.” Justin held the door for their mom and then ran ahead of their parents. “Hot popcorn coming up!”

  Shawn and BJ hurried in behind the others as Ricky came up and gave Bailey a side hug. “What I said … I didn’t mean anything by it.” He looked into her eyes. “Okay?”

  “Ricky.” She put her arms around his waist and hugged him for a long time. “Of course not.” Her eyes looked up and she gasped lightly. “What’s happening here? When did you get so tall?”

  He grinned. “Six-foot-four.” With great relish he stuck his chin out. “Taller than any of the other Flanigan boys. Even dad. That’s pretty good for fourteen years old.”

  “It is.” She looked down at his feet. They were seriously the longest feet she’d ever seen this close up. “What about your shoes?”

  “Size sixteen.” Again he puffed out his chest. “Dad says it’ll be a while before my age catches up to my shoe size.”

  Bailey wondered how she’d missed this. He was tall, of course. Always tall. But almost overnight he had changed. He didn’t look like a kid anymore. Now he was a young man. “I promise this.” She gave him a pointed look, enjoying the time with him. “I’ll be around a lot. And the way I love you will never change.” She kissed his cheek. “Okay, buddy?”

  “Okay.” The answer seemed enough for him. He bound inside after the others and as Bailey grabbed her purse from the seat and shut the door, Connor stepped out of the shadows. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” She stopped and angled her head. “You okay?”

  “Yeah. I guess.” He dug his hands deep into his pockets. “I love Brandon. You two are perfect together.” Tears welled in his eyes and he cleared his throat, trying to find his voice. “It’s just … it’s gonna be weird having you live somewhere else.”

  She could’ve told him that she’d already lived somewhere else for the year she danced on Broadway, or when she was in LA. But she understood what he meant. Those places were never home. And now her home would be at the lake house with Brandon. She waited long enough to acknowledge that he had a point. Then she linked arms with him. “You and I … we won’t ever change. Our times at CKT, the growing up years … Christmas mornings.”

  “The movie lines and inside jokes.” He chuckled, even though his cheeks were red from holding back his tears. “The dance parties in the kitchen.”

  “Right.” She laughed too. “All that will always be here.” She touched the place over her heart. “And here.” She looked around the big garage and toward the back door. “Every time I’m home.”

  He nodded and coughed again. Then, in a move that she believed must’ve taken all his effort, he smiled big and nodded toward the house. “Let’s go watch the movie.”

  By the time they walked inside their mom and dad had the movie on the big screen in the TV room paused and ready to play. The popcorn was made and BJ was handing out water bottles. “Definitely a chick flick,” he raised his brow at Bailey. “But this once I guess it makes sense.”

  Everyone laughed and after Bailey poured herself and her mom a cup of tea, they sat around the room, all eight of them. One last night with the whole Flanigan family. The movie, of course, was Steve Martin’s Father of the Bride. Bailey sat between her mom and dad, and Connor sat on the floor beside her, his back against the couch. From the opening line the movie was funnier and deeper, more emotional than any other time when Bailey had watched it. Same for the rest of them, she was pretty sure.

  They laughed out loud when George Banks started the movie saying how he used to think weddings were a simple affair — until he threw one. And Bailey’s dad exchanged a look with her at several points — when George gave Annie an espresso machine and when they were in the hallway of their house the night before Annie’s wedding and her little brother told her goodnight and that he loved her. Because in that moment George knew what Bailey’s dad knew at this very hour.

  That tonight was here at last.

  Through the hysterical planning Bailey laughed so hard she had tears. But her tears didn’t start for real until the wedding scene when through voice-over George Banks realized that Annie was all grown up and leaving them, and something inside him began to hurt.

  Bailey’s dad reached over and took her hand. “I love you, honey.” His voice was low so the others could still hear the movie.

  “I love you too.”

  She fought her emotions through the beautiful wedding and even through the frustrating scenes when poor George couldn’t get a minute alone with his daughter. Bailey didn’t watch the movie so much as she lived in every scene. “Dad,” she whispered. “If there’s a problem tomorrow, don’t get caught up in the details. Stay close so you don’t miss anything!”

  “Got it.” He gave her a thumbs up. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

  When the movie was over, Bailey’s dad turned off the TV and smiled at the group of them. “I love this. Having us all together.”

  He didn’t add that it was for one last night, but everyone felt the hours melting off the clock. Tomorrow would come and this moment would pass. But for now they all seemed to savor the look and feel, the familiarity and joy of having them all together in one place. Her dad pulled his Bible off a nearby table and opened it. “You all know this, but your mom and I have prayed fo
r each of you kids, about your future spouses since you were born.” He smiled at Bailey. “Which means we’ve prayed for Brandon Paul since we first brought Bailey home.”

  There were no funny remarks or silly laughs. Everyone in the room seemed to understand that God was among them, and that He was smiling at the wedding about to take place. Her dad read from 1 Corinthians 13 — The Love Chapter.

  “Love is patient; love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

  The words resonated in Bailey’s heart as she looked around the room. Her family wasn’t perfect, but they were an illustration of the verses. Bailey looked at Connor and she remembered a thousand times when he had refused to take credit for one good thing or another. Same with her younger brothers. Her dad continued. “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.”

  A smile tugged at Bailey’s lips. Weren’t those the words her mom had always used whenever she and her brothers disagreed? Love kept no record of wrong, no list. It was something else she would take to her new life with Brandon.

  “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.” Her dad turned to her, his eyes full of yesterday. “It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” He paused. “Love never fails.”

  “Amen.” Ricky clapped his hands and looked around. “That’s what I’m talking about. Love doesn’t fail.” He pointed at Bailey. “And it doesn’t end.”

  Bailey laughed. “Definitely not.”

  They all said goodnights and I-love-yous, and as they shared hugs and headed for bed, Bailey spent a few more minutes with her mom. “You know what’s strange?” Bailey sat at one of the kitchen counter barstools, one leg tucked beneath her.

  “What?” Her mom finished heating up her tea and took the seat next to Bailey. “What’s strange?”

  “I thought I’d be sadder.”

  Her mother’s expression was tender, understanding. “It’s the happiest time of your life.”

  “I know, but all the lasts.” She put her hand over her mom’s. “Even this.” She looked around slowly. “How many times have we sat here and talked?” Bailey folded her hands on the counter, still sorting through her feelings. “But I know I can still come home. We’ll sit here and talk like this a thousand more times, at least. So I guess all I’m really thinking about is tomorrow.” Her smile grew bigger, filling her face. She could feel it. “I can’t wait to be married to him.”

  “Which —” her mom gently touched Bailey’s arm and kissed her forehead, “— is exactly how it should be.”

  Bailey took her mom’s words with her to bed, and even as she blinked back tears at the sight of her suitcase packed and standing along her bedroom wall, she knew what her mom said was true. God had brought Brandon into her life. Love had walked quietly through the back door of her heart and moved in before Bailey could do anything to stop it. Now, the night before her wedding, the reason was obvious.

  God had created Brandon just for her.

  MARCH 16 DAWNED SUNNY WITH A CLOUDLESS SKY, the perfect backdrop to the warmest day of the year so far. Bailey ate breakfast with her family and her bridesmaids, who met at the house at nine that morning. Then the group of them headed out to get their hair done. Bailey didn’t plan to wear hers up or in a bun, the way some brides did. Instead she had the stylist pin up just a few strands, leaving the rest to fall in layers down her back and near her face.

  Her bridesmaids followed her home and by one in the afternoon the photographer arrived. By then she and the girls were upstairs where her mom was about to help her into her dress. For the first few seconds Bailey and her mom could only laugh as they took the dress off the hanger and carefully lifted it over Bailey’s head.

  “We didn’t snag my hair.” Bailey allowed the giggles to pass. “That has to be a good sign.”

  But they both grew quiet the moment the dress was in place and Bailey’s mom zipped it up. “Bailey, you’ve never been more beautiful.” Her mom spoke softly as she fastened the faux silk buttons so they’d lay in a straight row down her back.

  “Thank you, Mom. For everything.” They stood side by side as Bailey looked at her reflection in the floor-length mirror. She hadn’t seen it until now, but suddenly there was a resemblance that made her proud to be her mother’s daughter. “I look a little like you did when you got married.”

  “You do.” Her mom took a few steps back, studying her, the way the dress looked on her. “The gown … it’s breathtaking. Everything about it.” Her mom’s eyes grew teary, and her voice trembled a little. “But I have to say … it’s nothing to your eyes.” She smiled, despite the very deep emotions between them. “The eyes are the windows to the soul. That’s why yours are so full of light.”

  Bailey turned to her and took both her hands tenderly in hers. “You’ve always been the best mom. My best friend.”

  “Raising you has been one of my life’s greatest gifts.” She brushed at a few tears on her cheek and blinked. A sound more cry than laugh came from her. “Okay … I need to get a grip. I’m glad I haven’t done my makeup.”

  Bailey laughed too, but she stepped closer and for a long while she hugged her mom. “I remember something.” She eased back. “You told me I’d know he was the right guy if he couldn’t leave the room when I was singing.”

  “Yes.”

  Throughout the wedding planning Bailey hadn’t thought about those long ago words of wisdom from her mom. But they were vivid in her mind now. She smiled. “And all I can see is Brandon in the front row at the theater watching me in Hairspray night after night after night. Nothing could’ve made him miss me sing.”

  Her mom’s eyes were damp again. “He pursued you like a dying man in the desert goes after water.”

  “He did.” Bailey thought of a hundred times when Brandon had done that, fought for her. Even at the end that past Fourth of July when he refused to believe they were broken up. A quiet laugh slipped from her happy heart. “I didn’t make it easy.”

  Andi laughed as she walked out of the bathroom. “No, you definitely didn’t make it easy.” At that moment she caught the first look at Bailey in her wedding dress. As she did she drew in a sharp breath. “Bailey! You didn’t tell me it was this pretty.” For a long time she only stared in awe and then, blinking back her own tears, she simply looked at Bailey with a smile that covered years of friendship. “It’s perfect. Like you and Brandon.”

  Before Bailey could respond, Katy Hart Matthews and the other bridesmaids returned to the room once more. They circled around her, remarking at the way she looked all over again, and agreeing with Bailey’s mother that no dress could’ve fit better or been more stunning for her than this very one. Bailey was so glad they liked it and as she slipped into her shoes and her mom adjusted her veil she felt like she’d fallen into a fairytale where for this one most wonderful day, she wasn’t just any girl making her way through life.

  She was a princess.

  Thirty

  BRANDON ARRIVED AT THE CHURCH AN HOUR BEFORE THE WEDding and waited with Bailey’s brothers and his parents in the church’s hospitality room, just down the hall from the sanctuary. Security would remain stationed discretely around the church campus in case paparazzi discovered the location, but Brandon didn’t think that would happen. They’d leaked a false date to the press in a release, so the public wasn’t expecting the wedding until two weeks from now. Their guests knew not to say anything about the actual date, and so far the plan seemed to have worked.

  Brandon paced the back wall of the small room and tried to grasp what he was feeling. Nothing in his life, no role he’d ever played or powerful business meeting at any studio had ever prepared him for the way he felt as he dressed in his black suit and white shirt and vest, and as his mom helped him fix the knot in his white tie.

  The consuming sense had come over him when he woke up that morning and it had stayed strong with him up until this moment. He p
aced the room, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was a feeling that at any moment someone from some shadowy backstage or out-of-camera angle was going to yell “Cut!” and that would be that. Magical, unforgettable story over. Camera crews would pack up, the cast would say their goodbyes and the love story that was Brandon and Bailey would end the way it started.

  Without warning.

  Dayne knew him better than any of the guys in the room, and finally he was the one who pulled Brandon aside. “You okay, man?” His friend studied him, concerned. “You look out of it.”

  “Yeah, kind of.” Brandon let loose a sigh that seemed to come from his Italian dress shoes. “It doesn’t feel real.”

  An understanding smile lifted Dayne’s expression. “We talked about this, remember?”

  They had. When the bridesmaids got together for their luncheon yesterday afternoon, Dayne and Brandon had sat on the back deck of the lake house and talked about marriage, about honoring their wives and protecting them. Learning and lasting when everyone else might walk away.

  But most of all they talked about loving.

  What it meant to really love, to lay down their own needs and spend a lifetime consumed with those of their wives. And to bravely take a stand for lifelong marriage even in a world where people walked away far too often. How to live with that forever love Francesca Battistelli sang about in her song.

  During their talk, Brandon hadn’t felt frightened at all. He couldn’t wait to love Bailey like that, to devote his life to loving her. He shook his head, puzzled by the unsettling mix of disbelief and thinly veiled fear. “It isn’t that. I’m not afraid to take this step.” He rubbed the back of his neck looking for the right words. His single laugh sounded as baffled as he felt. “I’m afraid to lose her. Like I couldn’t handle that, you know? And like I’m not sure I can breathe right until she’s standing in front of me saying, ‘I do.’”