Bound by Sin

  “Not alone,” she said hoarsely. “You have your brothers. You let them follow you. Why should I be any different?”

  “Because they are my kin…my blood…and they have obligations to their gods, just as I do, that happen to coincide. A war camp is no place for a woman.”

  “You have female mems and other women for other reasons,” she said, her tone making it clear they both knew what those other reasons were. “I am a sea witch, like my mother. Not as powerful as she is, I grant you, but I can still use magic. I could be of use to you. I could—”

  “Female mems and whores are not my concern! They are meant for war. The mems heal for me. And the whores keep the men in good spirits. None of those women can hold a candle to you. You are beautiful and generous, and your heart is so clean and free and untouched by the soils of this world. I would not see that end!” He took a deep, steadying breath. “In two weeks we will part ways, Jileana. I do not want to spend that time fighting with you.”

  She wanted to argue more. She wanted desperately to grab him and throttle him, and she knew he could see it in her eyes. He knew the full measure of her pain, because once he’d had his love rejected. And yet it did not keep him from pushing her away; that was how deeply his pain and mistrust went.

  But she knew that, for all of his protestation against the emotion, he loved her. She knew that even though he was a man who could slaughter other men by the hundreds and never flinch in the face of war, he was afraid to acknowledge the emotion.

  Very well, she thought with a lift of her chin and determination steeling her spine. She had two weeks to change his mind. Two weeks to make him admit what he felt for her. And if she hadn’t succeeded by that time…well, she didn’t know what she would do. She would take that step when it came time to take that step.

  “Yes,” she said so softly she could barely hear herself. “Let us enjoy these next two weeks as best we can.”

  “There we go. That’s better,” he said with a smile as he stroked her face with his fingers. “Let’s enjoy what time we have left together. Come. Let’s go to the sea anemone bed and watch their colors. We can swim with the schools of fishes, explore a little. You like to do that.”

  “Yes. I do,” she agreed. It had always put a smile on her face and he knew it. He was trying very hard to please her, when all he had to do to please her was one thing.

  And that one thing was something he was most unwilling to do.

  Her time was short and she had to make the most of it. No matter what she was feeling inside, she couldn’t let it choke the remainder of her time with him. If she failed to make him realize that he loved her, these could very well be the last days she would ever have with him.

  It was a thought she couldn’t bear to hold in her head, so she pushed it aside and steeled herself with determination. She would win this.

  She would.

  Two weeks flew by so fast it was unbelievable. Jileana had never known time to move so swiftly. Now the moon was almost full and that meant the gateway would be open for the next week.

  Jaykun was ready to depart that same day. He was preparing his trunk for his return. He looked down at it and smiled. The entire time he had been there he hadn’t touched a single stitch of the clothing he had brought. After so many weeks, he wondered how he would be able to bear the confinement of clothes, never mind armor. He had never been so free as he had been these past weeks, in more respects than one. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had so few demands on his time. Oh sure, he had been busy overseeing Jalaya’s council meetings, had danced hard to keep Horgon in his place as he contemptuously took a seat at the table and did exactly what they’d expected of him: hindered more than helped. It was clear that power was his goal, not the true will and needs of the selkie people. If he gave a damn about them, he would have stopped balking and started helping. In the end, Jaykun believed Jalaya would have no choice but to eliminate Horgon’s influence and threat, and he believed the empress was realizing that for herself.

  But this was no longer any of his concern, he reminded himself. He was heading back…Well, he could hardly call it home. He didn’t have a home. He frowned. It was strange, but this place had begun to feel like home to him.

  A dangerous thought. An unwelcome one. Home was merely an illusion of feelings. A sense of comfort meant to soothe one’s soul whenever one was away. It was a place of belonging, and he most certainly did not belong here amongst the selkies. He was a man. Simply a man. A cursed man, an immortal man, but a man just the same.

  He closed the trunk and looked around the cave one last time. Jileana was not here yet. She had said she needed to do something before they went. He had unpacked her dresses from his trunk for her, although he didn’t really know what use she would have for them here. He felt a painful sensation in his gut as he came closer to realizing that he was mere minutes away from leaving her and never seeing her again.

  The past weeks had been a whirlwind of unforgettable moments and lovemaking, and dozens of new and wondrous experiences in the world of the selkies. He did not deny that all of it had been made memorable and special just by Jileana’s presence.

  He had grown very attached to her. He wouldn’t deny that. He would miss her when she was gone from his life. He did not examine too closely just how much he might miss her.

  Then, as if his thoughts had conjured her, Jileana appeared at the mouth of the cave. He looked away from her, unable to figure out what to say to her now that the moment of his departure was at hand. He knew what she felt for him—what she believed she felt for him—and he knew that it would cause her pain to let him go. This distressed him because he wouldn’t wish any kind of pain on her and he didn’t know how to avoid it. Perhaps he should’ve distanced himself from her beforehand, but he hadn’t been able to do anything of the kind. He hadn’t wanted to color their time together with sad thoughts of the moment when he would eventually leave her.

  It had been wholly selfish of him. But he hadn’t been able to be a better man. Now he would turn his back on her, swim through that portal, and never see her again…all the while knowing how much pain she would suffer in his absence.

  “These go too,” she said, making him realize she had come closer as he had wrestled with his thoughts. She picked up the dresses he had set aside and put them inside the trunk. He looked at her and raised an inquisitive brow. “I will need something to wear,” she explained.

  He tensed from head to toe. “Jileana,” he said with warning in his tone, even as a part of him leapt with joy at the idea of her coming with him. A surprisingly large part of him.

  “Just for the week,” she said quickly. “Until the portal closes. Then I will return home.”

  He hesitated. He had intended to make a clean break from her, and that was exactly what he should do. Right here and right now.

  But the idea of having another week of Jileana was too delightful to resist. His whole body relaxed as if a great weight had been removed from it and he gave her a measured smile. “Very well. But I think you might be making this harder on yourself in the long run. I do not wish to increase your pain.”

  “My pain will not be increased by another week with you. It will be relieved by it,” she said softly as she moved into his arms. She reached to kiss his mouth, but he avoided her for a moment.

  “Are you sure?” he asked. “I would not wish to cause you hurt.”

  “Then do not leave me,” she said simply with a shrug of a single shoulder. “That is the only way you will avoid causing me pain. But,” she said quickly when he opened his mouth to speak, “since you will not do that, I will gladly postpone my pain until a week from now. All right?”

  He had little choice but to hesitantly nod his assent. So she packed the dresses and gave them a satisfied pat.

  “Now come with me. The empress wishes to say farewell before you leave.”

  “I had every intention of saying goodbye to her of course.”

  “I know you
did. Come.”

  “What about the trunk? Is Dremu coming with us?”

  As if the mention of his name had conjured him, Dremu appeared in the mouth of the cave. For the first time in weeks, he was wearing the clothes he had arrived in, having gone native himself sometime after the first week. But the sight of his clothing told Jaykun that Dremu was indeed going with them.

  “Only for the week,” he explained. “I’m coming with my mistress and will return with her. I like it here, I do. I’m as different here as I was in the Overworld, but they don’t seem to care none. They treat me with kindness and respect and fascination. I’m sure the novelty will wear off one day, that maybe one day I’ll want to go back through the portal, back to the Overworld, but I can tell that day is a long time away. And, well, there’s this girl…” He flushed. “I ain’t never had a woman before, but she wants to be my woman. Her name’s Luzi.”

  Jileana beamed at him. “Oh, Dremu! I’m so happy to hear that! And I know Luzi. She’s a very nice girl. I hope you’ll be very happy together.”

  Dremu blushed. “Seems like we might be,” he said bashfully.

  Jileana gave him an enthusiastic hug, which only made him blush a deeper red. “Dremu, can you take the trunk and meet us at the portal?”

  “Yes, my lady.”

  “Good,” she said with a smile. “Come, let’s say goodbye to the empress.” She grabbed Jaykun’s hand and led him to the ledge of the cave’s exit. Then, without a second thought, she dived off. Jaykun had since grown used to her diving from such great heights, and he had grown used to taking those dives himself. So he followed her down, cutting cleanly into the water with hardly a splash to be had.

  They arrived at the underwater palace minutes later, Jileana’s father meeting them at the front gate.

  “There’s something of an uproar in council chambers,” he warned them. “Horgon and his usual nonsense.”

  “I trust Jalaya can handle him,” Jaykun said.

  “Indeed she’s gotten quite adept at it,” Creasus agreed. “But it may mean she won’t be able to say a proper farewell.”

  “That’s all right. We’ll take what we can get.”

  Jileana’s father looked at his daughter with something like sadness in his eyes. “Take care, my daughter,” he said, kissing her forehead for a long moment.

  “I will, Father. And I will return,” she promised.

  “Good. Your mother would miss you,” he said. But it was clear he too would truly miss her if she did not return as promised.

  They entered the council chambers a short while later to hear Horgon’s voice booming throughout the open water of the room.

  “You are a disgrace to your crown! I swear to you, I will rip it from your head as soon as I am able!” he hurled at Jalaya. She was sitting at the head of the table and Horgon at the foot. Horgon was standing, shouting at her the length of the table away.

  Jalaya stood up slowly, outrage simmering in her eyes. “Enough! I have had enough of your insults! I am your queen! You will not treat me thus!”

  “And who will stop me?” he demanded of her, his son stepping in to stand at his elbow, a show of force against her.

  “I will! Guards! Take Horgon to the chains!” she said, a terrible tone in her voice warning them all she had been pushed too far.

  “For what?” Horgon demanded to know, although he didn’t seem so cocky as the guards closed in on him.

  “Treason,” Jaykun said. “Anyone who disrespects or threatens the empress is a traitor and should be punished because of it.”

  Jalaya turned grateful eyes onto Jaykun, but the expression was fleeting as suddenly Horgon drew the blade attached to his side, his son doing the same, and they faced off with the guards advancing on them. Jaykun swam forward in a flash, leaving Jileana behind and insinuating himself into the fight, grabbing up a sword that had been taken from one of the guards. Jaykun dodged a deadly swing by Horgon, and in a flash of movement that proved how well used to moving in water he had become these past weeks, he was holding Horgon by his hair from a position behind him and had the blade against his throat.

  “Stop!” he commanded Barban, who was still fighting the guards. “Stop or I end this contention with your father once and for all!”

  Barban had no choice but to stop. The guards disarmed him and seized him by his arms.

  “Take him to the chains as your empress commanded you,” Jaykun said to the guards he handed Horgon over to. “Chain him well.” He turned to the empress. “And what of the son?”

  “He made no threats to me. He can go as long as he promises not to raise arms against me.”

  “I do so promise,” Barban said through his teeth. It was clear he had no intention of keeping that promise, but that was a matter Jalaya was going to have to handle when it presented itself. She knew the repercussions slapping Horgon in chains might have, and an uprising was one of them. The families that supported Horgon might easily come to his aid, fight to depose her of her crown, and start a civil war amongst the selkie people. It would be the worst possible outcome. But the fact was, Jalaya could not let Horgon’s threats and insults slide a moment longer. His behavior was just as damaging to her crown as a war might be. People watching her sit idly by as a man disrespected her would lose all faith in her ability to control those around her. If she could not rule a single man, then how would she be able to rule them all?

  The guards dragged Horgon off and Barban stood seething in a corner of the room before turning to the empress. “You may come to regret taking the advice of this…this Overworld creature over the advice of my father!”

  “Is that a threat?” Jaykun asked mildly. “Because that too would be treason.”

  Barban blanched. No one liked to be threatened with the chains. And if Barban ended up in chains as well, then all would most certainly be lost for his family. Jaykun knew it and so did Barban. It was clear by the contempt and rage simmering in his eyes.

  “You see, Jaykun? You cannot possibly leave me,” the empress said with a tremulous smile. “Your council means far too much to me.”

  “I am sorry, Majesty, but my world has awaited me far too long already.”

  “Of course I know this,” she said with a shake of her head, “but I do not have to like it. You are ready to go, then?”

  “I am,” he said.

  “Then come with me for a while,” she said, swimming to the nearest door, which led into the farther reaches of the castle.

  Jaykun and Jileana obliged her and followed her out of the room, leaving Barban and the council behind. After several long minutes of swimming in silence, they came to Jalaya’s private chambers and the three of them swam inside, with guards left posted at the door. Jalaya settled into a pacing swim that crossed and recrossed the room.

  “Jaykun, how do I begin to tell you how valuable you have been to me?” she said.

  “You do not need to,” he said.

  “Oh, but I do,” she argued in earnest. “This council has changed everything. It will mean an entirely new era of peaceful coexistence for my people. The people will be well represented and the highest influential families are now working with me rather than against me. This has been a priceless gift.”

  “You have done all the work, Jalaya. If not for your strong leadership, a council would make no difference. A good ruler knows when to listen and when to rule; you know how to do both and that is why, contrary to Horgon’s claims, you very much deserve your crown.”

  “And for the first time in a long time I feel that is the truth. I owe you for that.” She came up to Jaykun and took his hands in hers. “Promise me you will return one day, that you will come visit. There are other portals that lead to us. All you need do is look for a place where large amounts of seals are congregating. Odds are that is a portal.”

  “I will remember that,” he said with a smile.

  “See that you do.” She leaned in and kissed his mouth. It was a friendly gesture, an affectionate one. He r
ealized then how much he had grown to value his friendship with the empress. She was a strong and intelligent woman with a great heart and an unbelievable amount of courage. It was hard not to like her. She had grown close to him, sharing much of herself with him these past few weeks. He believed he was the closest thing to a true friend she had experienced in a long while and he felt badly to be abandoning her. But like his relationship with Jileana, he had no choice but to end it. He would never forget it, but it must end.

  “Farewell, my friend,” she said to him, giving his hands a tight squeeze.

  “Farewell,” he returned to her. Then he kissed her cheek one last time and he and Jileana swam away from her.

  Jaykun and Jileana headed toward the portal. About halfway there, Silan swam up to them, interrupting their progress.

  “So you are going with him?” Silan demanded of his sister. “Just like that? With no thought to your own safety? With no thought to your father and mother and those who worry about you?”

  “I can take care of myself,” Jileana said defiantly with a lift of her chin.

  “It’s the Overworld! If they knew what you were, they would destroy you! Hurt you! Is it wrong of me to love you enough to not want that to happen?”

  “No,” she said softly, coming up to him and settling a hand on his face. “And I love you too. But this is my life to lead however I see fit and you have to stop trying to lead it for me.”

  He frowned deeply, but he took up her hand and laid a kiss in the palm of it. “Be careful, Sister. And come home as soon as you are able.”

  “I will,” she said, reaching to hug him to her tightly.

  After that, Silan left them and they continued to the portal. They found Dremu swimming at the surface above them and they surfaced next to him.