Club Privé: Book V

  I returned the smile with a soft one of my own. He was right. That whole mental shock thing I’d been worried about had just thrown me for a minute, making me delusional. “I want to call Krissy, see if she can come home early. I don’t want to be alone.”

  A sad expression crossed Gavin’s face and then disappeared behind a blank mask. “Oh. Sure, I can take you home.” He started the car.

  “Gavin?” I touched his arm. “What is it?”

  “I...” He seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted. “I thought you could just come home with me, but I understand if you don’t want to.” He eased his way out onto the street, careful to avoid crushing the mass of media who had flocked to the sight of so many cops and Feds in the same place.

  “Gavin.” I waited until he glanced my way. “I want to.”

  Relief broke across his expression, so strong that it surprised me. I hadn’t realized that he didn’t want to be alone any more than I did. I was glad he wanted me to be with him. I loved Krissy, and I knew at some point, I would want nothing more than to curl up with my friend and cry, but right now, I wanted something that would eradicate the memory of Howard’s hands on my body, and sex with Gavin would definitely do that.

  Chapter 10

  There is something to be said about the adrenalin rushing through your body when you think you are about to die or face a fate even worse. Surviving such an experience makes the endorphins go sky high. So, based on my previous experiences with Gavin, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect when we got back to his place. I doubted we’d even completely get undressed or make it to the bedroom. I had these images playing through my head of him picking me up as soon as we were inside his apartment, putting my back against the wall, unzipping his pants, and fucking me right there. Maybe we’d get to the couch, shedding clothes along the way, but it would be hard and fast, something almost frantic, fueled by our desire to forget about what had happened and almost happened today.

  So, when he shut the door behind us and picked me up, I was prepared for whatever he was going to do. I was ready for anything. Anything except what actually happened next. Instead of tearing my shirt off and fucking me senseless, he kicked off his shoes, cradled me against his chest, and carried me into the bathroom, leaving the blanket on the floor, forgotten.

  He walked right into his shower, both of us still fully dressed – or at least as dressed as we had been when we’d come in. Without letting me go, he turned on the water, giving it the minute it needed to warm before switching on the spray.

  He looked down at me, droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes. He set me on my feet and gently touched my face. It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized the shower wasn’t the only reason his face was wet.

  “Do you have any idea how terrified I was when I walked into that room and saw you there?” His thumb brushed my bottom lip. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been that scared.” His hand was trembling.

  I took his hand and pressed my lips against his palm. “I need you to forgive me.” I hadn’t realized I was going to say the words until they came out. He might hate me when I was done, but I didn’t want to lie to him, not when he was being so open and honest with me.

  “Forgive you for what?”

  I looked up at him, feeling my own eyes burning with tears. “I thought you knew,” I said. “About the girls Howard was selling. I overheard him in his office at the mansion, telling Annie that you were supposed to be grooming me for him. I believed him. And then when you told him that you knew about what he’d done to Camille and that you had gotten close to him to find out the truth, I thought you’d just used me to get to him.”

  “You thought all of this we have together had been a lie?” Gavin had gone very still.

  “I didn’t know what to think,” I said. “Everything between us had happened so fast and you’d been so persistent. I’ve never had a man want me like that before, and it was easier for me to believe that it was an act than to think that it could possibly be true. That this intense connection could be real... for you. It was always real for me.”

  I fell silent and waited for his response. My stomach was in knots. I’d thought the worst of him, believed lies and speculation. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to see me again.

  “This,” he said as he cupped the side of my face. “This is the most real thing I’ve felt in ten years.” He lowered his head and gently kissed me. “None of it was fake, and I’m sorry I did anything that made it hard for you to believe me.”

  He was apologizing to me? I shook my head. “It wasn’t your fault,” I protested. “It was all me.”

  He put his finger on my lips. “How about this?” he suggested, “No more apologies. Forgiveness across the board, and we have a clean start.”

  I smiled. “I like that.”

  He returned the smile with that sweet one I loved so much. “Now, what do you say we get clean for our clean start?”

  He looked down at me then, his eyes darkening at the sight of his shirt molded to my body. I couldn’t help but drop my gaze, wanting to see his body’s response. I wasn’t disappointed. The jeans were tight and wet, leaving little to the imagination. My stomach twisted in anticipation.

  He peeled the shirt off of me and tossed it aside. His pants came next. They were already ruined, with one leg cut so that the paramedics had been able to get to the cut on his leg. His boxers came off with the pants so that when he straightened, he was as naked as I was.

  He reached for the shampoo and motioned for me to turn around. His fingers massaged the thick lather into my curls and I closed my eyes. My body was starting to relax at last. The chill that had come over me in the club was finally gone. I backed under the spray as Gavin washed his hair.

  I was surprised as the shower continued. He conditioned my hair and washed every inch of me, his hands gentle and caressing, but never once did he try to initiate anything. Part of me considered taking matters into my own hands, but something about the way he was looking at me made me decide not to. There was something different about his expression, something deep in his eyes that hadn’t been there before. It wasn’t until I’d begun to wash him that I realized what it was.

  He was taking care of me. Not like before with sex, where it had been about making sure I reached my pleasure. That had been great and had told me that he wanted to make sure I was happy. This wasn’t the same. What I saw in his eyes was the kind of caretaking that came with something deeper. This was holding someone’s hair back when they threw up and then cleaning them up after. It was bringing chicken soup and crackers. It was choosing to go to the theater on date night instead of spending the night out with the guys. It was giving up everything for that other person.

  I slowly ran the soapy cloth around his side to his back. I swallowed hard around the lump in my throat and moved the washcloth across his broad shoulders. I’d believed his words with my head when he’d said this was real for him, but the last piece of my heart that had been holding back couldn’t stand against the tenderness I saw in those eyes. And I didn’t it want to. I closed my eyes, feeling two tears sliding down my cheeks and mingling with the shower spray. I slowly let out a breath, letting the last of my doubts and fears wash away.

  By the time we were finished and drying ourselves off, I felt more at peace than I had in a very long time. At peace, but exhausted. Without a word, Gavin took my hand and led me to his room. He brushed out my hair and braided it, the simplistic style telling me that he’d learned by braiding his daughter’s hair. Another surge of emotion went through me, but I didn’t say anything. It wasn’t the right time. The silence between us was what we needed right now.

  He tossed our towels into a hamper and we slid, naked, between the cool, clean sheets. He curled his body around mine and I nestled back against his chest. His arms went around my waist and I put my hands over his, careful not to jostle his wound. His lips pressed against the hollow under my ear and that was the last thing I kne
w for several hours.

  Chapter 11

  When I woke up, two things struck me almost immediately. The first was that the clock said we’d been asleep for more than three hours. The second was that Gavin was still wrapped around me and was enjoying it. His flesh was slowly hardening against my ass.

  I smiled and rolled in his arms so we were almost face-to-face. I still had to tilt my head for our eyes to meet, but it was close enough for him to bend his head and brush his lips across mine. His hands splayed across my bare back.

  “Good... afternoon?” he said with a smile. “I trust you slept well.”

  “I did.” My own smile faded a bit. “How are you feeling?”

  “Better,” he said. “I broke my arm when I was eight trying to show off on my bike. Not even close to as bad as that.” His expression sobered. “What about you?”

  “My hand’s aching,” I admitted. “I didn’t realize Howard’s head was that hard, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to do that with the same hand I’d dislocated my thumb on.”

  “And... otherwise?”

  I gave Gavin a puzzled look. I wasn’t sure what he was asking.

  He lifted one hand and gently ran his fingers down the side of my face, then over my arm. “It’s not bothering you, me touching you like this?”

  Now I was really confused. “I don’t understand.”

  “I know that when someone goes through what you went through with Howard, they don’t want to be touched.”

  “He didn’t rape me, Gavin,” I said.

  “But he put his hands on you.”

  I could hear the anger in Gavin’s voice and a realization hit me. “Is this why we didn’t have sex before?”

  “I wanted so badly to make love to you,” he said. His voice was so earnest that it made my heart skip a beat. “But I didn’t think you’d want me that way, not after what had happened. I was even worried about how much I could touch you in the shower.”

  That explained why he’d seemed almost hesitant while washing me earlier. I closed the short gap between us even though it meant bending my neck at an almost painful angle to still be able to look at him. I heard his breathing hitch and felt him swell even more.

  “Howard did touch me,” I said. “And even though I showered, I can still feel his hands. I need you to chase away those memories.” I slid my arms around his waist and felt the muscles in his back tense. “Please.”

  He rolled us over so that he was above me, the majority of his weight balanced on his forearms, his body resting on mine from our bellies down. He leaned down and I could see his arms flexing with the effort of keeping himself in position as he kissed me.

  It was slow and sweet, his lips moving with mine, slowly parting, and then the tip of his tongue tracing my bottom lip before darting inside. My tongue moved out to caress his and he made a sound in the back of his throat. His teeth scraped over my bottom lip and it was my turn to moan.

  I tilted my head back as his mouth moved from mine down to my jaw. His lips burned a trail down my throat, gentle kisses that were at odds with what I was expecting. I remembered how he’d marked me before, sucking skin into his mouth until the blood rose to the surface. There was none of that this time.

  Gavin shifted so that he was on his side, allowing him better access to my body. He ran his hand across my stomach and then up to my breasts. He covered one with his hand and I ran my hand up his arm, skirting the bandages. I loved the feel of his skin against mine.

  “I promise you, Carrie,” he said softly. “No one will ever touch you without your permission again.”

  I arched my back, pushing my breast against his palm. “You have permission. Please touch me.”

  He smiled and lowered his head to my bare breast. As his fingers teased my nipple, his lips moved over my soft skin, leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses circling up to my already hardening nipple.

  “Ahh,” I sighed as his hot mouth closed over the wrinkled flesh.

  My eyelids fluttered as he began to suck. It was a slow, steady suction that went straight through me, a deep pull of pleasure. In the back of my head, I was waiting for teeth, for a sharp tug and twist by his fingers, but it didn’t happen. By the time he switched to my other nipple and ran his hand down my side to my hip, I stopped thinking about what it had been like before and let the sensations of now take over.

  I moaned as Gavin ran his tongue between my breasts and then down my stomach. His tongue swirled around my belly button before continuing its journey south. I opened my eyes as soon as I felt him nudge my legs apart. He looked up at me as he positioned himself between my thighs. He turned his head to one side and placed a kiss first on one inner thigh, then the other. I shivered with each contact, the anticipation of his mouth on me making heat coil in my stomach. He turned his gaze back to my face, keeping his eyes on me as he moved forward.

  “Fuck,” I gasped as he ran his tongue the full length of me.

  He worked that thick muscle between my lips, dipping inside me before moving up to circle the little bundle of nerves that throbbed in need. I could feel the delicious pressure building inside me and knew that my release – the first of what I hoped would be quite a few – was near. He wrapped his hands around my hips as he pressed his mouth closer, his kiss tipping me over the edge.

  My hips tried to move, to push themselves closer to that delightful mouth that was sending wave after wave of pleasure washing over me, but his hands held me fast. I reached down and buried my fingers in his silky hair, trying to accomplish what another part of me had been unable to do.

  As a second orgasm rolled over me, one of Gavin’s hands moved from my hip, and a moment later, I felt his finger at my entrance.

  “Yes,” I hissed as he slid it inside.

  His tongue continued to flick over my clit, sending signals racing along my nerves, as his finger slowly pumped in and out of me. I was wet, but tight, and he took full advantage of that, letting the friction help work me towards a third climax. When he slipped a second finger into me, I closed my eyes and moaned.

  “One more,” he murmured against my flesh, the puffs of hot air on my sensitive skin making me shiver. “Come for me again.”

  I nodded. I wanted to. Every inch of my body was humming and I could feel it getting closer. Then he crooked his fingers and pressed against that spot inside of me. I exploded, my back arching up off of the bed as he applied just the right amount of pressure to keep me coming until spots danced in front of my eyes. I was vaguely aware that I was calling out his name, and then I dropped back to the bed, my body limp as he withdrew his hand from between my legs.

  I tried to focus on my breathing and getting my limbs to work again as he crawled up my body until we were face to face. His cock nudged against my still-sensitive pussy and I drew in a shuddering breath.

  Gavin kissed me gently and I tasted myself on his lips. It wasn’t deep or long, just enough to not be chaste. “Are you sure you want this?” he asked. “We don’t have to.”

  I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. “Make me forget.”

  His hand moved between our bodies and, a moment later, I felt the tip of him enter me. He slid inside, taking his time to let my body accept him one inch at a time. I hooked my legs over his, resting my ankles on the backs of his knees. I sighed as he came to rest, fully sheathed inside me. There it was, that completeness I craved.

  His eyes locked with mine as he began to move. Each stroke was slow and deliberate, creating the perfect friction to fan the flames stirring inside me. He rubbed against my G-spot with every thrust, and it sent electricity across my nerves, igniting my cells. I knew something big was coming and I wasn’t sure I could survive it.

  I’d had the kind of orgasms that had made me scream, the ones that sent me into unconsciousness. They’d all built with a pressure that promised an explosion of ecstasy, and then delivered. This wasn’t an explosion waiting to happen. No, this was a building inferno that threatened to consume everything.
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  Gavin moved suddenly, pulling me up with him until he was sitting and I was in his lap. He didn’t lose contact as he wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled me against him so that our chests were pressed together. My nipples rubbed against his chest, making me whimper at the added sensation. The base of him rubbed my already sensitive clit with each movement and I shivered.

  The new position brought us even closer, something I hadn’t thought was possible. His arm ran up my spine, his hand cupping the back of my head, holding me against him. We moved together, almost as one, our bodies grinding against each other as the fire inside us licked across our skins, coating us, consuming us. His mouth took mine, our tongues mimicking the movements of our lower bodies.

  All sense of time and place bled away. It was only Gavin and me, our connection, the way our bodies fit together so perfectly. Our lips moving, tongues dancing. Every place where we touched each other blazing with an inferno of pleasure.

  I almost didn’t recognize my orgasm as it began, the flames spiking, then spilling over. I tore my mouth away from Gavin’s and cried out, my entire body shuddering with the force of my climax. It wasn’t a sudden and massive rush, crashing over me like a wave, but rather the relentless pounding of the tide against the shore.

  Gavin’s arms tightened around me and his hips jerked against mine. I felt him come, pulsing inside me, filling me. He called out my name over and over again, crushing me against his chest.

  What seemed like years passed before I dropped my head to his shoulder, my muscles twitching as the fire inside me began to cool.

  I’d never experienced anything remotely close to what had just happened. Orgasms had been bursts of intense pleasure between the enjoyable friction that had brought me. Gavin had made me see stars, made me come so hard I’d passed out, made me scream. This had been something different. I’d felt like I’d been melted down, turned into molten lava, liquid heat. Somehow, it had been more intense, as if it had meant more.