Off the Rack

like I had rolt in hog shit or somethin.

  “She knowed it, Miss Melody, thank you just the same. I come here with Fred so's I could help him with Bobo. I didn't thank I'd see you all here either. I thought the preacher said it were a sin to be up in here, walkin arount all these evil doers an stuff.” I smiled my ain't I sweet smile so's they would think I was bein nice but really I wanted to kick them in they you-know-whats. It's hard for me to look at that Miss Melody without snortin up a laugh. Miss Melody one time played a whole sermon with her dress stuck in the back of her painties and I swear it's hard for me to look at her without thinkin bout those big hams we have hanging in the meat shed. So's it's pretty easy for me to smile arount her- it's just hard for me not to laugh.

  “Well, Miss Priss, if you must know, we's here being judged in the jam and jelly contest over at the Home Cookin tent? And I have the best persimmons jelly you've ever tasted—you want to you can stop by for a sample or get some for your poor momma? I'm sure your momma would appreciate somethin sweet in her life? What with all you youngins an that Bill Nash diddy of yourn” she said with a smirk and wink at the ladies.

  “I thank you very much, Miss Melody but my momma is watchin her weight. She says she don't want to get big like a lot of other folk she knows who have to sit for a livin. But thank you all the same. Ima tell her though that you said hello.” I knew I'd pushed it a bit too far so I ducked into the crowd and tried my best to disappear but I could hear them ladies scramblin to beat each other with “well I never!” and “that child!” an all that. Sometimes youda think people could remember that Jesus sayin bout where he says to take the stick out from your own eye afore you try to get the splinter from someone else’s. And that stick in Miss Melody's eye is biggern a headboard.

  “Mae Ella! Mae Ella! Wait!” Panting, David ran up to me an grabbed my arm. He bent over an put his other hand on his knee an tried to catch his breath. David is one of my brothers too. He's a mean one though. His kind of fun is to jump out of closets and scare you half to death or to burn your dolls’ heads off and thangs like that. But sometimes he took you to that kind of bad fun you knowed was gonna be trouble. I mean you just knew you'd be real close to doin somethin’ wrong any time you was with him. “You ain't never gonna believe what they got up here! They got a real bona fide side show! With freaks!” David had sweat making a road map on his face through the dirt and it looked like it led straight to him using up my money. I just knowed it.

  “David Allen, you ain't gonna get my money for no freak show. I see a freak show ever day when you get up outta the bed.”

  “No Mae Ella, I'm serious. You got money? Well, that's good an all but I got my own money—I had to rake some of ‘em stalls out over in the 4-H booth to get it but I got a whole dollar and I'm gonna see them freaks. The sign has a paintin of a woman with a beard and a man with horns comin out his head and a man that has a snake body and women with no face and…”

  “Slow down, David Allen. I cain't keep up with you! Ifn you want me to come you better just hold yer horses.” But his excitement had got to me. I had to see them sideshows if nothin else here. I mean a Ferris wheel is one thang but a woman with no face? I had to see that. We took off, me right on the heels of his Converse All Stars. You know, that's another thang I don't get. Why is it boys get to wear them cool high tops and all we get are these little red cloth Keds? That ain't hardly fair now is it? I bet I could have kept up with him better if I had me some of them Converse All Stars.

  We could hear the man callin out as we got closter to the tents. Them tents was old and raggedy and we tried to lay down and look inside first but we couldn't make out nuthin in the dark.

  “You see that man there, Mae Ella? They call him a barker and hit's his job to get the people to come see the show—he gets you all heated up and curious-like.”

  “I know that, dummy. I ain't stupid Lorna and I want borned yestidy. I'm only 10 months youngern you, ya know. Let's go listen.”

  “Step right up ladies and gents! Step right up! Now this ain't no sideshow like you've seen before! This is somethin’ else en-tire-ly! See thangs you ain't never seen before! Thangs with no explanation! Have a conversation with a woman with no face or better yet speak di-reck-ly with the horned demon man! See a woman with the beard of ole Rip Van Winkle! Watch you don't get eat up by the gator lady or the snake man! See the dead baby in the jar—that baby with you guessed it SIX eyes! SIX eyes, ladies and gentlemen! Now you've heard all this before I'm sure but this time? It is all REAL! GUA-RAN-TEED REAL! And you can see it all for only a quarter! Now THAT ladies and gentlemen is a bargain! Only two bits! Twenty five pennies! Five nickels! Now when you ever gonna get that kind of deal again? Step right up…”

  When he started sayin the same things again, I figured it were time & I started in to lookin at all the pitchers painted on the sides of the tents an decide if it was really worth half my money. You know it an I knowed it. I wanted to see them folks. No doubt about it. There is something bout people different than you that makes you want to see them for yourself. But half my money? I just didn't know if I could do it.

  But David—David was already reachin into his jeans for his money and that did it. I dug into my overalls to find my old half-dollar but lo and beholt, David paid for both of us! I could tell by his grin he hoped to get me scared out of my mind but I didn’t care. He paid, an that’s something else. We got our tickets an got in line with all the other curious folk. They was all so tall an wide, I was sure hopin I'd get a chance to see everythin cause right then all I could see was coats an old dresses.

  As the line began to slowly crawl toward the tent, you could tell people were gettin less excited and more nervous or somethin because they voices all seemed to drop as soon as they went through the flap. When we got up to that flap, it was like a wall—no sound came from the other side, an it was dark in there and that had me a bit scared. I thought I was alone in bein scared but David took my hand. “just sos you don't get too sceert or lost” he whispered but I knowed he was scared too. With a silent slam, the tent flap whooshed closed behind us an we was lost in the darkness.

  Our eyes slowly adjusted an we made our way toward a slight glimmer of light. It was the baby with six eyes in the jar. I got to tell you, if that thang was real, hit was nothin but a real pity. It looked like a pink pig with little lines of eye lashes and tiny hands clasped into fists and them sure enough were real baby feet. I wanted to look at it more but I never wanted to see it again. Just when I thought I couldn't stand it any more, David tugged at my hand and we moved forward.

  Next thang I knowed we was lookin in at a woman playin cards with this little bitty man. He want no bigger than my baby cousin, RoseAnn an he was dresset up like a little prince. They was both lookin tired out an like they done did this ever day. But that woman? She had her a beard longer than any I ever seed. That beard was long, curly and grey. An when I was lookin at it she caught my eye an there want nothin there but meanness. She looked at me like I was the freak. Then she made this hmmf noise an spit at the grount. That little man he laught like he aint never seed nothin that funny. “Go on little girl and boy. Go on an GIT!” We did. Fast.

  “Don't worry bout it, Mae. Just come on,” David tugged me on but my heart was startin to feel real funny an I was ready to jus turn arount and leave. They was tall people ahead a us an tall people behint us an I aint had nowheres to go but go on with em all.

  When that barker said they was a woman without a face? He want lyin. They was. But you couldn'ta talked to her if you wanted to. She laid there with nothin but a hole of a mouth, suckin in air an makin little strangle kind of noises an she had a man who sat with her an gave her dranks from a straw. He had these big ole lumps all over him an the sign said he was a mushroom man but what I seed was two really tired an sad people.

  They was two more a them sittin arount together? One didn't have no arms or legs an was turnin the pages of his book with his tongue and the othern had him a long snak
e body but that didn't much matter. What mattered was them faces. Both of em looked so tired and like they'd never slept an they just wanted to find their momma's laps an cry the rest of the day away.

  I'm not gonna tell you bout what the rest looked like or if they was real or fake or if they talked to us or not. I'm just gonna tell you this. Them freaks made you feel really bad for lookin at em. They made you feel really small for feeling so much better offn em. Want a happy face in that tent.

  Lookin at them freaks was like bein stuck inside a rain cloud that refused to rain. Seein them freaks made you feel like your insides was all squeezed up into one little fist like if you didn't scream soon that fist was gonna come punchin outta you and you was goin to explode.

  Maybe they didn't mean to make you feel that way and maybe some a them other folks didn't feel like it at all. But I did. And by the quietness of my brother I knew he did too.

  We got to the end of the tent. There was a man there with a tall hat and long mustache in a suit. He had a large cane that opened the flap and as soon as he opened it, the lights, fresh air, an the noises of the carnival came right up and slapped us in the face.