Learning

  Francesca’s words rang in Bailey’s heart and mind. If she cared for the cast, she should show them. Bailey moved so she was directly in front of Chrissy. She put her hands on her shoulders and looked straight at her. “You need a doctor …”

  “I don’t.” Again she looked weak, like she might not make it to the door. She tried to smile at Bailey but it fell short. Like she couldn’t muster up the energy. “I was up late. That’s all.”

  Bailey searched desperately through her options. Chrissy wasn’t telling the truth; that much was clear. She looked too thin and beyond tired. Makeup could hide the dark circles under her eyes on stage. But now, after a full show, there was no hiding the signs. “You’re not okay.” Bailey kept her tone gentle, but she hoped her urgency showed in her expression.

  “I am.” She drew in a deep breath and worked hard to shake off the struggle. “Some days are just harder than others.”

  A uselessness came over Bailey. Chrissy wasn’t the only one of her castmates in trouble. A number of them were into pills and smoking pot. Whatever it took to relax after a performance, or stay thin enough to fit in the costumes. Bailey was young, Francesca had pointed that out. But she couldn’t stand by and watch Chrissy hurt herself by not eating. She reached into her bag and pulled out a protein bar. “Here,” she handed it to her friend. “Maybe if you ate something … you’d have more energy.”

  “I … I already ate.” Chrissy stared at the cement floor for a long moment and then looked right at Bailey.

  In that single instant Bailey could feel that they shared a tragic, terrible knowing. The fact that Chrissy wasn’t going to eat, and the sad reality that Bailey could do nothing about it. “I know, Chrissy … what you’re dealing with. You can’t hide it.” Bailey kept her voice soft, as unthreatening as possible. “Let me call someone. There are people who can —”

  “Listen.” Chrissy’s tone was just short of angry, and her eyes shone with a sudden intensity. “I’m getting help, okay? I told you,” she seemed to work to bring her voice back in check, “I’m fine.”

  Chrissy gathered her things, and though she walked more slowly than usual, the moment of exhaustion seemed to have passed. Bailey kept at her pace, and when they reached the door she saw her ride waiting for her. “Come on.” She motioned to the car. “We’ll drop you off.”

  Her friend lived a few blocks away in a shared flat, but usually she walked with a group of actresses. Tonight everyone else had gone ahead. Chrissy hesitated, as if maybe she didn’t want even five more minutes of prodding from Bailey. But after a few seconds she shrugged and allowed a partial smile. “Okay. Thanks.”

  Before the driver let Chrissy out, Bailey made one last attempt. “I’ll pray for you.” Bailey watched her friend’s eyes, but she kept them turned away. “If you’re in trouble, Chrissy … I’m here.”

  Chrissy nodded slowly and lifted her face to Bailey just briefly. “Thanks. See you tomorrow.”

  And with that she stepped out and hurried off. She looks stronger now, Bailey told herself. And if she was being honest, then Chrissy was already getting help. Still, Bailey wished there was something else she could do. The ride back to the apartment was quic