For All Time

  “Look at the rest of it,” Daire said as he held the bottom of the long, narrow paper.

  At the top was Graydon’s face. He was smiling and looking over his shoulder at the artist. It was Garrett’s back that had a full-color tattoo of Toby as a blonde geisha.

  “I remember,” Toby whispered.

  That’s all she could think to say. She remembered all of it. Every second. Every word, every taste and smell, every person and thought.

  “Marry,” she said, her voice weak with emotion. She looked up at Daire and Lorcan. “We got married. I think—”

  She didn’t say any more as the blood seemed to be draining from her body.

  Daire caught her as she fell forward in a faint. He turned her to stretch out on the couch, her head on a pillow. “Get Graydon,” he told Lorcan.

  She didn’t hesitate in obeying, her long legs eating up the distance to the back door. When she shouted in Lanconian for Graydon to come, there was urgency in her voice.

  Graydon was in the greenhouse, but at Lorcan’s call, he began to run. He ran past her, into the house, and through to the family room, where Toby was lying on the couch, Daire sitting beside her.

  When he saw Graydon, Daire moved away and the prince took his place. “Call an ambulance,” he ordered.

  “No,” Toby said weakly as she tried to open her eyes, but the truth was she was almost afraid to look at Graydon. Her mind was flooded with images. Her mother threatening Graydon—Garrett—and the way he’d stood up to her.

  And the night! Hands and mouths, touching, caressing. Feeling him inside her! She remembered every bit of it.

  Graydon had his hand on her forehead, as though feeling if she had a fever. “Toby,” he whispered, “it’s all right. It wasn’t really us.”

  She didn’t know if that thought made her feel better or worse.

  When Graydon lifted his shirt up, Daire and Lorcan left the room. They didn’t know what was going on, but obviously it was private.

  Graydon turned his bare back to Toby. “Open your eyes and look at me. I’m Graydon, not Garrett, and you are Carpathia, not Tabitha.”

  Slowly, Toby opened her eyes and saw Graydon’s bare back. Nothing but honey-colored skin over deep muscle. No markings of any kind.

  Tentatively, she put her hand out and touched him. He drew in his breath, but he didn’t move. She ran her hand over his side, vividly remembering that the last time she’d touched him the tattoo was there. But she also remembered kissing his skin and how he’d turned, pulled her into his arms, and made love to her.

  Abruptly, Toby sat up and wrapped her arms around Graydon, her cheek against his nude back. “It was wonderful there. I didn’t want to leave—and now I wish I didn’t remember that I’d been there.”

  Her hands were on his stomach and he clasped them. He didn’t dare turn around, as he knew he’d pull her into his arms and lie down beside her on the couch. He’d so very much wanted her to remember what they’d experienced together, but now he realized that she was sharing his pain. It would have been better if she’d never remembered.

  “You were trying to remind me, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, but I shouldn’t have. Toby,” he said, and his voice was full of what he felt and was going to feel. “My life in this century is different and I can’t stay here.”

  “I know.” There were tears beginning to come and she knew she was wetting his back. “I know all of it, but …” She didn’t want to say what she felt.

  “Tell me you’ll be all right after I leave. Promise me that you’ll be well and healthy.”

  “And fall in love with another man?”

  For a moment Graydon’s hands tightened on hers, then he turned to pull her into his arms, holding her so tightly she could hardly breathe. “I’ll send my Royal Guard to execute him.”

  She was clasping him hard, her face pressed against his bare chest. “I’ll go to Maine and pick out one of your Montgomery cousins.”

  Graydon didn’t laugh, just stroked her hair. “They could not love you as well as I do.” His words of “I do” and not “I could” made her tears fall freely. She wasn’t sobbing, just had tears flowing from her eyes. “You couldn’t stay …?”

  She left the rest of the sentence unsaid, but he knew what she meant. He couldn’t abdicate and turn the throne over to his brother, could he? But then, these weeks had proven how bad Rory was at the job—and how much he hated it. Unlike Graydon, Rory had not been trained to survive day after day of protocol and monotony and of being a figurehead rather than a person. And then there was Danna, and her father’s interests in the country. “No,” Graydon whispered. “I cannot stay here. I must return to my home. It’s what I am.”

  Graydon knew he couldn’t continue to hold her. The night they’d spent together was becoming more clear by the second. Right now he needed to put something good, something happy into their lives.

  Smiling, he held Toby at arm’s length. Her eyes were full of tears and he wanted to kiss them away, but that would defeat the purpose. “Do you realize what we did?”

  “You mean that I lost my virginity but I probably still have it?” She took a tissue out of the box on the coffee table. “Maybe it’s an incurable disease. Think there’s a pill for my problem?”

  Graydon couldn’t help laughing as he put his hands on her face and kissed her eyelids. “Do you think I’m too old to become a pharmacist?”

  “Don’t make me laugh! All this is horrible. You and I—we can’t—” She was about to start crying again.

  “Toby, my dear, sweet love, we changed history. Don’t you see that what we did changed everything? Tabby married the man she loved, not the little store clerk but a big, handsome sea captain and—”

  “Who was a very bad sailor,” Toby said as she blew her nose. “So what happened to them?”

  “I didn’t search their history because I was waiting for you to remember me—which I thought you were never going to do.” Taking her hand, he pulled her up, then started toward the kitchen. “I can’t figure out how you forgot so much.” He took a packet of fish out of the fridge and handed Toby a bag of carrots.

  She was beginning to recover herself. He was right to try to lighten the mood between them. She could either cry about their coming separation or she could enjoy every minute of the time they had left. “Oh, well, you know, there was nothing monumental to make me remember.” She was teasing him back, but Graydon didn’t smile.

  “Is your mother today like she was then?” he asked softly.

  “Yes,” Toby said as she began to run a peeler over the carrots. “I’ve always disappointed her.” She looked at him. “Maybe it all has to do with what happened back then, in the past.”

  Graydon put the fish fillets in a baking dish and began to season them. “That’s what’s puzzled me. Garrett was going to give up the sea and stay home to manage the Kingsley future. If he did a good job at that, wouldn’t there be something different now? And if he was able to show your mother that she was wrong, maybe you’d have different memories of her.”

  “If I knew they were different,” Toby said. “But my mother has always been frantic, always worried about someone ‘taking care of’ me. She’s never thought I could do that on my own.”

  “Just as Lavinia believed,” Garrett said. He put the fish back in the fridge and began to peel potatoes.

  “Why are you frowning?” she asked.

  He didn’t want to answer her question because he knew in his heart that something was wrong. He didn’t know what it was, but it was there, haunting him. “Maybe it actually was all just a dream and you and I imagined it together.”

  Toby was thinking about what he’d said about changing history. “Tomorrow I think we should go see Dr. Huntley and ask him about Tabby and Garrett. If what happened really did change anything, then his story will be different.” She put the cleaned carrots on a cutting board. “Did I tell you what Dr. Huntley was like before Victoria agreed to marry him? He was
a widower and he had a sadness in his eyes, in his whole body, that was heartbreaking to see. He seemed more dead than alive.”

  “But the glorious Victoria said yes and now he’s a man whose glance can command a room,” Graydon said, smiling.

  Like you, Toby thought but didn’t say. He had his back to her and it was as though she could see through his shirt. She could almost see her face imprinted on his skin. If any of what they remembered actually did happen, that meant they’d been in love for a very long time. Centuries. She thought of when they first met and how Graydon had stared at her. It was almost as though he knew her. When you met someone you felt as though you’d known forever, had you?

  “Stop it,” Graydon said quietly, but he didn’t turn around. “If we’re to get through these last days, you can’t think what’s in your mind.” Turning, he looked at her and his eyes were hot with all the desire he felt.

  Toby took a step toward him, but the back door opened and Lorcan and Daire came inside.

  “We can leave if you want,” Daire said as he looked from one to the other.

  “No,” Graydon said firmly as he reluctantly took his eyes off Toby. “Anyone hungry? And how about we all go sightseeing later?”

  Toby knew what he was saying, that they needed to keep busy and stay with other people. To be alone would cause too many … complications. “Yes, we’ll be tourists for today, and tomorrow we’ll go see Dr. Huntley.”

  “We won’t take the picture of …?” Graydon trailed off, not saying “me” out loud. A two-hundred-year-old picture of him might cause too many questions.

  “I don’t think we should,” Toby said, and Graydon smiled, glad they were in agreement.

  The NHS headquarters was in a beautiful old house on Fair Street and Toby asked the woman at the desk if they could see Dr. Huntley. They hadn’t brought the papers from Alisa Kendricks Kingsley, as they didn’t want Dr. Huntley’s attention to be diverted to them. Besides, answering “How did you find them?” might be a bit awkward.

  Dr. Caleb Huntley came out to meet them almost immediately. “Toby! Graydon!” he said as he put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her cheek. “How good to see both of you again. Come with me to my office.”

  A young woman holding a stack of photos of old paintings was waiting inside Dr. Huntley’s beautiful office. There were shelves filled with books and interesting artifacts. “Excuse me,” he said as he motioned for them to sit down, then took the pictures from the young woman. “Phineas Coffin,” he said. “Died about 1842. Was married to one of the Starbucks. Eliza, I think. Six unruly brats.” He switched photos. “Efrem Pollster. Worst captain who ever lived on this island. Let his crew rule him.” He changed pictures. “The Elizabeth Mary. A very good ship. Went down off the coast of Spain in a storm. 1851. No. 1852.” He looked at the young woman. “Did you get all that?”

  “I think so,” she said. “I have four articles for the journal that you need to read, and three donors called this morning. They want to speak directly to you.”

  Caleb waved his hand. “I’ll get to them later.” His tone was that of dismissal, and as the woman left the office, he sat down behind his big desk.

  “You do seem to know an extraordinary lot about Nantucket,” Toby said.

  Caleb shrugged in dismissal. “They have stacks of unidentified pictures, so I’ve been putting names to faces.” He looked from one to the other.

  Graydon nodded at Toby for her to begin. “Remember the dinner party?” Toby asked.

  “And your glorious food?” Caleb said. “That was a truly magnificent evening. You, young man, should get a job as a cook.”

  Graydon smiled. “I take that as a great compliment, but I do have other employment.”

  “We could call it The Prince’s Wharf,” Toby said, her eyes encouraging.

  Both Caleb and Graydon laughed, then the older man looked at Toby. “So what can I help you with?”

  “You told a story about Tabitha Weber,” Toby said, “and we were wondering about that. Did she marry Silas Osborne?”

  “No,” Caleb said with a bit of a smile. “It’s interesting that you know of the connection between those two. Tabby’s mother, Lavinia, wanted her to marry him. But Garrett talked the woman out of it, made some promises, that sort of thing. Osborne wasn’t happy about it and for a while he talked about suing, but …” Caleb shrugged. “He sold his store to Obed Kingsley and left the island. No one ever heard of him again.”

  Toby didn’t look at Graydon but she saw that he was beginning to smile. It looked like they had changed history.

  “So Tabby did marry Garrett Kingsley?” Graydon asked.

  “Yes,” Caleb said, but then the smile faded from his handsome face. “Garrett …” He almost didn’t seem able to go on. He took a breath. “They married, but nine months later Tabby died in childbirth. Not long afterward, Garrett shipped out with his brother Caleb. The ship went down and took everyone on board with it.” His face suddenly looked older. It was almost as though he’d lived through the tragedy himself.

  “No!” Toby said. “That’s not right. Tabby and Garrett got married and lived happily ever after.” Her voice was rising. “Nobody died! Everyone was happy!”

  Graydon reached out to take her hand in his. The strength of his grip was the only sign of what he was feeling. “What happened to Lavinia and the widows?”

  “Tabby’s death tore the family apart,” Caleb said, his voice heavy. “Lavinia sold the house, but it was in such bad shape that she didn’t get much for it. She tried to keep the family together, but she couldn’t. All the widows took the grandchildren and left the island.” Caleb sighed. “I don’t think Lavinia was invited to go with them. She ended up alone in ’Sconset, a victim of the drink. Poor woman. She’d lost her husband and three sons, all her grandchildren, and her daughter. She didn’t hold on to her sanity.”

  Graydon squeezed Toby’s hand. He could feel her beginning to slump. “You’re sure Tabby died in childbirth?”

  “Oh, yes. Both Valentina and Parthenia were there with her.” Caleb looked at Toby. “It was a miserable time then. Tabby was a well-loved young woman.”

  “She died in that house,” Toby whispered. “In the birthing room.”

  “Yes,” Caleb said. “Garrett was planning to build them a house on the North Shore but he didn’t have time before Tabby …” He paused, his eyes full of sadness.

  There was a quick knock at the door and the young woman opened it. “Dr. Huntley, sorry to bother you, but people are waiting.”

  He waved his hand and she left, but he didn’t move. He sat behind his desk and looked at Graydon and Toby, seeming to have all the time in the world. But then, he was a man who knew what was important in life.

  “The baby?” Toby whispered.

  Dr. Huntley shook his head. “Tabby and her son went together.”

  “Oh, God,” Toby said, her words half prayer, half anguish.

  Graydon stood up quickly and pulled Toby up to stand beside him. He put his arm firmly around her shoulders. “One other thing,” he said to Caleb. “How did Tabby’s body come to be scarred?”

  Caleb looked surprised at the question, but he got his face under control. “When she was three she tripped on her skirt and fell into the fire. Her father pulled her out and rolled on her. He got some burns too.”

  “And Garrett’s back?”

  Caleb smiled. “That glorious tattoo? He was the envy of all of us. As for getting it, let’s just say that when in a foreign port even a Kingsley can sometimes drink too much rum.”

  “Thank you,” Graydon said, and he walked with Toby out of the office, and out the front door. He didn’t let go of her until they had gone down Main Street, onto Kingsley Lane, and were inside the house. He put her on the couch in the living room and poured her a double shot of whiskey.

  “Drink it,” he said.

  “We killed them,” Toby whispered.

  Graydon put the glass up to her lips and made her drin
k some.

  “We destroyed Tabby and her baby.” She looked at him. “Garrett’s baby. Our baby. I know in my heart that you and I made him on that night. We created him, then we killed him.” Graydon sat down beside her and pulled her into his arms.

  “You can’t think like that.”

  “We changed history, but when we did, we murdered three people.”

  “It was a very long time ago,” Graydon whispered, holding her head on his chest. She pulled back to glare at him.

  “They’d all be dead now anyway, so what does it matter? Is that what you’re saying?” Her tone was belligerent.

  Graydon started to defend himself but his eyes turned cold. “That’s exactly what I meant.”

  She knew he was lying. He felt as bad about this as she did. She fell back onto his chest. “I don’t understand. The first time I went into that birthing room, I knew I’d died in there. But I hadn’t! That only happened after you and I changed things. How could that be?”

  “Well,” Graydon said slowly, “the rules of reincarnation, time travel, and changing history work differently. Shall we consult the textbook on the subject?”

  His attempt at a joke didn’t make her laugh but it did make her feel a bit better. “How do we fix this?”

  “I think we should leave it alone.”

  She pulled back to look at him. “We have to return to that time.”

  “And do what?” he asked, his voice angry. “I’ve thought of nothing else since we left Caleb’s office. Do we go back and allow Tabby to be sold to Osborne? That didn’t work.” His eyes locked with hers. “Toby, maybe there is such a thing as destiny. Maybe we could change the past a thousand times and no matter what we did, Garrett and Tabby would end up apart, either by marriage to others or by death.”

  “Like now?” She pushed away from him. “Their destiny—our destiny—is to find each other, then be separated forever? The sea, childbirth, your country, your future wife? It’s our destiny to never be together and I should accept my fate? Is that what you expect me to believe?!”