For All Time

“No, it’s the last of it and tomorrow I can get more.”

  She and Daire looked across the table at each other, both holding the dish, and the reality of parting became real. No more would the four of them be in the little house together. No more laughing over shared jokes. Toby would never again clash swords with a Lanconian. She and Lorcan would never put on a yoga show with the men watching. She wouldn’t go shopping with Lorcan and get her into Nantucket whites. Toby would have no more use for the Lanconian she’d learned to speak.

  Graydon looked at the unhappy faces of the others, took the plate from Daire, and set it by Toby. “I will send you cheese,” he said, his voice almost harsh.

  Lorcan gave her king-to-be a look of reproach and put her hand on Toby’s. “I will send you some lace that they make in the mountains. The Ulten women are good at crafts.”

  Toby nodded. “I’ll send you seeds for those tomatoes you like, and when those shoes we ordered arrive I’ll send them too.” There were tears in the eyes of both women.

  Graydon stood up so fast his chair tipped backward. It would have fallen if Daire hadn’t caught it. “Daire and I will spend the day out,” he said and his voice was cold, sounding uncaring. He looked at Lorcan. “You will prepare for …” Graydon’s voice nearly broke but he recovered himself. “For tomorrow.”

  Through all this he didn’t look at Toby but kept his eyes on his fellow Lanconians. He didn’t even glance at her when he left the room, Daire behind him.

  “He is in pain,” Lorcan said.

  “I know,” Toby whispered. “Shall we clean this up and start on the packing?”

  It took hours to get all Rory’s clothes back into the many bags he’d left for Graydon to use. The packing was hard for Toby, as every item conjured up bittersweet memories. This was the shirt Graydon had worn when they cleaned up the grounds of the wedding. He wore these trousers when they’d grilled hot dogs and Graydon had squirted mustard on the leg. His workout clothes were just out of the dryer, and for a moment Toby buried her face in the soft white cloth.

  It was three weeks until Victoria’s wedding and Lexie wasn’t to return until after it, so Toby would be alone in the house. She dreaded it. She wouldn’t even have a job to go to every day. But then, the way she felt today, she might spend the three weeks crying.

  Congratulations! she thought. She had joined the millions of women who knew what a broken heart felt like. It was a very, very bad feeling. No wonder people had tried so hard to keep this from happening to her!

  “And I should have listened to them,” Toby muttered as she jammed Graydon’s workout clothes into a duffel bag. She looked at Lorcan. “I bet he has a valet to unpack for him.”

  “Yes,” Lorcan said. “He has everything a future king needs.”

  Toby grimaced. “No sand in his shoes like he’s had here. No dishes to wash, no greenhouse to water, no one asking him what color ribbons Victoria would like.”

  “No,” Lorcan said as she put Graydon’s shoes into their protective bags. “And no one to yell at him when he gets too full of himself. There will be no one who would dare tell him that what he just said was stupid.”

  “He’ll be glad of that,” Toby said.

  “No one to tease and laugh with, to share every meal with, to listen to his whispered stories of his life, to hear of his problems with his students or of his father’s threats, which he’s endured all his life.”

  Toby was watching Lorcan, realizing that she was talking about her and Daire. They’d shared a room for all these weeks, but never had there been a hint that anything private went on between them. But Toby had learned that it wasn’t natural to Lanconians to let their feelings show.

  Stepping back, Toby looked at the huge pile of luggage. It was two o’clock and they still had a lot to do. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s leave this for later. You and I are going out on the town. We’ll have a huge lunch, then go shopping. We’ll buy so many souvenirs for you to take back that people will call Lanconia the new Nantucket.”

  Lorcan smiled. “I like that idea very much.”

  The two women didn’t return until six P.M. They were laden with many shopping bags full of all they’d bought. In spite of their good intentions it had not been a happy outing.

  Lorcan had looked at Toby over the lunch table. “I have never before had a woman friend, a B …”

  “A BFF. Best Friend Forever. I understand. Men like you, so women don’t.”

  “You are right,” Lorcan said. “But you are different.”

  Toby smiled at the compliment, and she wanted to say that they’d have to get together in the future, but she didn’t think it would happen. There was no way Toby could visit Lanconia. And see Graydon with another woman? No, she couldn’t bear that. And Lorcan would probably get involved with protecting people and never take a vacation.

  After lunch they walked around the old, twisted, beautiful sidewalks of Nantucket and acted like tourists, stopping in every shop and looking at everything. They discovered that they both loved mermaids and purchased little boxes, letter openers, even buttons with mermaids on them.

  They also bought T-shirts, sweatshirts, and jackets with Nantucket emblazoned on them. That all of the garments were in a size to fit Daire and Graydon was not something they commented on.

  At five they stopped to have drinks made with tequila.

  “You and I should get Virgin Marys,” Toby said in disgust and raised her glass. “To the last of our kind.”

  “I hope we are the very last,” Lorcan said.

  Both women looked so miserable that they burst out laughing. What followed was a conversation of what each woman had done to entice the man she loved.

  “Black lace bra and tiny matching underpants,” Toby said.

  “I arranged to be caught getting out of the shower with only a hand towel to cover me,” Lorcan said rather proudly.

  “I wish we’d compared notes. But did it work?”

  Lorcan raised her glass, their second one. “Still a virgin.”

  “Me too,” Toby said sadly and they drank deeply.

  By the time they picked up their many shopping bags and headed home, they were feeling much better. Lorcan went into the family room she shared with Daire, and Toby went up the back stairs to the private sitting room she and Graydon used. To her shock, all the luggage was gone.

  “They’ve left,” she whispered, then dropped the bags and yelled down the stairs, “The men are gone!”

  Lorcan, with her long legs, took the stairs two at a time. Toby and Lorcan had left the room in a mess, with some bags packed, some half empty. Clothes and shoes had been on every piece of furniture.

  “Do you think Daire and Graydon finished the packing?” Toby asked.

  Lorcan sat down in a chair. “No. Not possible. Someone from Lanconia has come and carried everything away. Perhaps Prince Rory’s valet.”

  Toby sat down opposite her. She didn’t have to say her thoughts, that it really was all over. Maybe this morning had been their last meal together.

  Lorcan glanced through the open door into Toby’s bedroom. “What is that?”

  They went to look. Spread on Toby’s bed was the beautiful Regency dress. Beside it was a notecard with a crest on it. Oh, great, she thought. Graydon had left her a goodbye note and the gift of a dress. Was vellum any better than a Post-it?

  When Toby didn’t pick up the note, Lorcan did and held it out to her, but Toby didn’t take it. Lorcan raised her eyebrows in question, and when Toby nodded, Lorcan began to read. “My dearest wife, Tabby.”

  Lorcan closed the card and handed it to Toby, who read it in silence.

  My dearest wife, Tabby,

  Please join me in the small parlor of our home for dinner and dancing.

  Your husband, Garrett

  “How are you with corset fastenings?” Toby asked. “I have a date.” Smiling broadly, Lorcan opened the box of undergarments.

  As soon as Toby saw the small parlor in BEYOND TIME she
knew what Graydon had done. In secret, he’d arranged for the little room to be transformed into what they’d seen in the past. There were candles everywhere: on wall sconces, on tall frames, on small tables that had been set along the walls.

  Flowers flooded the room: bouquets were in glass vases, swags hung along the ceiling and draped the back of chairs. The colors were all the pale, creamy ones that Toby so loved.

  In the center of the room was a little round table covered with a pristine white cloth; crystal and silver sparkled in the candlelight. Beside it was a cart with silver domed covers.

  Graydon stood beside the table, wearing his Regency suit. When she looked at him, he bowed, an arm in front, one in back. “My lady,” he said.

  “It’s all very beautiful,” she whispered. “When …? How did …?”

  He pulled out a chair for her. “A man does not divulge his secrets. Will you join me for dinner?”

  She took the seat and waited as Graydon sat across from her. “You have taken my breath away. I didn’t expect this. When I saw that the suitcases were gone, I thought you’d left.”

  Graydon just smiled at her and removed a dome to show a platter filled with a circle of tiny roast birds. “Do you like squab?”

  “Very much so,” Toby said and closed her eyes as she inhaled. The flowers, the candles, the food all went together to make a heavenly fragrance.

  Graydon opened a bottle of champagne and filled their tall flutes. “To us,” he said and they clicked glasses.

  When they looked into each other’s eyes, they made a silent agreement that they wouldn’t talk about tomorrow. There’d be no mention of separation, no discussion of what Toby was going to do when she was left alone. Nor would they speak of what was coming in Graydon’s life. Above all, they would not speak of Tabby and Garrett. They’d done all they could to repair the damage they’d done but they’d not succeeded.

  Instead, they talked only of good things. Toby told of her and Lorcan’s shopping excursion and how they both loved mermaids.

  Graydon told of a long phone call he’d had with his family in Maine. “Uncle Kit has returned,” he said, then entertained Toby with outlandish stories the children used to tell about Uncle Kit’s adventures.

  “Are any of them true?”

  “We have no idea,” Graydon said, “but we always believed James Bond was based on him, which wasn’t possible as Uncle Kit is only about sixty. But then we kids probably thought that because he looks like Sean Connery.”

  “Tell me more. Please.”

  It was a lovely dinner of squab, little timbales of truffle-scented rice, and glazed carrots, with chocolate mousse for dessert. Through the meal, soft music played in the background.

  When they’d finished, Graydon got up, pulled Toby’s chair out, and took her hand. “May I have this dance?”

  When she was in his arms—and he pulled her so her cheek was on his chest—she began to again think of the reality of his leaving.

  “Graydon, I want to say—” she whispered, but he pulled her closer and she said no more. Yes, she thought, it was better not to think ahead, not to remember the past. Enjoy this moment. Right now.

  She smiled a bit, feeling his heart against her cheek. His face was pressed into her hair and she could feel his breath. For all that he seemed to be calm, the pounding of his heart showed that he wasn’t. What did it take to not show his true feelings? she wondered. To suppress anger, hurt, sexual desire, even love? This was what he’d done all his life. All Toby seemed able to think about was her own misery, her own grief at his leaving, but Graydon was going to marry someone he didn’t love.

  With her face full of what she was thinking, she looked up at him, and he brought his lips down to kiss her.

  It was a kiss she knew she’d remember all her life. What they were feeling, all the longing, the desire, the need of each other was in that kiss. But the pain of the coming separation was also in the kiss.

  Tears mingled with happy thoughts as their lips held. Graydon put his hand on the back of her head and turned her so he had a deeper access to her mouth. His tongue touched hers, locking together, exploring.

  Her body moved closer to his and she could feel his desire for her through the thin fabric of her gown. Her bare shoulder felt the heat of his body. His thighs, hard from his training, pressed against hers.

  It was as though the room around them began to spin. They were standing still, but everything around them was moving. Around and around, faster and faster. The lovely scents intensified, the music became louder and quicker, but all Toby cared about was the man who was kissing her. She never, never wanted to break apart!

  “Garrett!” came a low voice that sounded like Rory’s. “Crack it down! The admiral is coming.”

  “Tabitha!” came a loud voice that Toby would know anywhere. It was her mother. But that made no sense, as this summer they were on a cruise and not in Nantucket.

  It was Graydon who pulled his lips away and tucked Toby’s face against his chest. She stood there, her eyes closed, his strong arms around her; she didn’t want to see what was going on. Obviously, their private dinner had been invaded by others. Her heart was pounding, her breath shallow. Even her stomach felt odd.

  Graydon loosened his hold on her. “I think you should look at this.”

  Toby did not want to open her eyes. Didn’t want to see who was intruding on their dinner. Their farewell meal.

  Graydon put his hand under her chin to lift her face to his. “Trust me,” he whispered, then pulled back so she could see around her.

  Glaring at the two of them was her mother. Toby was still stunned from Graydon’s kiss, her mind and heart filled with the sadness that was to come, so it took her a moment to register that the frowning woman was in a simple dress of dark green, a ribbon at its high waist.

  Toby took a step back from Graydon and looked around her. They were back in the past! People were in a circle around them, some faces she knew, some she didn’t. There was Rory with his gold earring, standing by a tall, pretty woman whom Toby had only seen in photos. She was Danna. Parthenia and John Kendricks were there, and the beautiful Valentina was standing by Captain Caleb.

  “We did it,” Toby whispered. All she could think was that they had another chance to save Tabby and Garrett. Stepping away from Graydon, she nearly ran to her mother and flung her arms around her. “I’m so very, very glad to see you!”

  Lavinia Weber gave her daughter a cursory hug, then pushed her away, her face stern. “A woman in your condition needs to control herself.”

  “My condition?” Toby said as she put her hand on her stomach. It wasn’t big but what curved out was very hard. It seemed that she was going to have a baby. She looked up in wonder at Graydon.

  Smiling, his eyes warm, he took her hand in his. “Let’s go home.” He lowered his voice. “I have a piece of Japanese art I want to show you.”

  “I love skin art!” she said as she tried to keep up with his pace. They were in Kingsley House and it looked like they were again at a wedding. Since there was a ring on her finger and life growing inside her, it was a few months after the first wedding they’d attended—their wedding.

  When Graydon flung open the front door, a blast of cold, wet Nantucket autumn hit them. He paused for only seconds as he removed his jacket and put it around her. He took her hand in his and they hurried down the lane.

  When he opened the door to BEYOND TIME, they were greeted by the sight of a teenage girl trying to control five rambunctious young children. One boy, about seven, seemed to be determined to pull the logs out of the fireplace.

  “Out!” Graydon bellowed in a tone Toby had never heard him use before. “Take the children and go to the party. Feed them.”

  “Captain Caleb said we are to stay here,” the girl said, her face almost frightened.

  “My brother does not own this house. Now go!” He squinted at the boy at the fireplace. “I take it you are Young Thomas. Leave that fire alone.”

/>   When the child looked up at Graydon/Garrett he seemed to be measuring how much he could get away with. He must have made a decision because he dropped the log and gave Garrett a defiant look. “Didn’t want it anyway.”

  The children ran to the open front door, the two little girls taking the older girl’s hands. “Thank you,” she said to Garrett.

  “Come on, Deborah!” Young Thomas yelled. “Let us go before the captain comes and paddles his little brother.” He gave Garrett a look of daring, then, laughing, ran down the lane toward Kingsley House.

  Graydon shut the front door. “Looks like I’ve been demoted to ‘little brother.’ If this is what my own younger brother has had to endure from me, I must apologize to him.” When he looked back at Toby, his eyes changed from a man who was bellowing out orders to very warm to hot.

  “Sir!” Toby said, her hand by her throat. “How dare you look at me like that! It’s as though you’re undressing me with your eyes.” She fanned herself with her hand. “I do believe the heat of your gaze is making me feel faint. I find I must retire to my bedchamber.” Demurely, she lifted her long skirt just inches, then started up the stairs. When she got a quarter of the way up, she turned and looked back at Graydon, who was still standing below.

  “Oh, my,” Toby said, “I do believe my undergarment is falling.” Slowly, she began to pull her long, thin, nearly transparent skirt up until she revealed one slim, shapely leg encased in a white silk stocking that reached only to mid-thigh. It was tied with a very pretty blue garter.

  As though she had all the time in the world, she retied the garter, then looked up at him with a small smile. “All done.”

  Graydon hadn’t left the floor and the only sign he gave that he’d watched her were eyes so hot they looked to be on fire.

  One second he was standing and the next he was running up the stairs. As he passed Toby, as a seeming afterthought, he wrapped his arm around her waist and kept going. “Oooooh” was all Toby could say as she held on to him as he carried her up the stairs and into the bedroom. Inside the room a fire was going, and even though this time there were no rose petals on the bed, she knew it was their room. All the decorations were things that she loved. From the upholstery to the pictures on the wall, to the little box on the pretty bedside table, it was all her taste. In the corner by the fireplace was a tall pair of boots that she knew belonged to Graydon. A heavy wool coat was slung across the back of a big wing chair.