In Pieces

  How the Dinosaurs became Such Great Cheese Lovers.

  (An Excerpt from “Jurassic Jack and the Search For the Scary Thing”)

  It was on the day which they all called the day of the great change, even though everyone else called it Thursday. Nobody had any idea that something really bad was about to happen. The sun was shining in the sky as normal. All the little dinos were dancing in the fields with a happy tune in their heart, and a big grin on their spiky lips.  But there was to be a big food shortage. Someone pointed out, that if they didn’t stop eating each other soon there would be nothing left.

  They talked about options. They talked about changing to an all-pasta diet. They even talked about the possibilities of all becoming vegetarians. In the end they couldn’t agree on anything. So it was left for the Gallimimuses to sort out.

  Now let me tell you about the Gallimimuses. They were all swats. If they had ever gone to school they would have all been in the chess club. They would have brought sandwiches to school that their mummies would have cut nice and straight, using a ruler and a spirit level. They were nothing more than a big bunch of swatty egg-headed boffins, who liked fiddle about with test tubes.

  Finally after a week behind closed doors they come up with a brand new invention. It was called human beings.

  ‘What are those things?’ asked the curious Velociraptors, who were starting to look a bit on the skinny side.

  ‘They are French cheese shop owners!’ announced the Gallimimuses, 'and they're going to be very good at making cheese!'  

  You see? Gallimimuses are extremely clever.  

  Soon there were lots of Frenchmen with little cheese shops. The dinosaurs stopped eating each other and ate the savoury yellow stuff instead.

  Hurray!

  As time rolled on all the dinos were cheese mad.

  Gorgonzola was the big favourite. Unless you were a Triceratops. Those big lumps liked a splat of French brie on a nice warm croissant with a dollop of sweet chutney.

  Then of course there were Stegosaurus’.

  Don’t talk to me about Stegosaurus,’ they would never shift from anything that didn’t resemble Edam.   But soon they ran out of cheese and the dinos did something really stupid. Before anyone had the chance to make up another batch, they ate up all the Frenchmen instead.

  With no Frenchmen around to make any more cheese, they went back to eating each other again.

  Well it’s one idea anyway. Not one that anybody else has thought of, but an idea nonetheless.  

  ‘Well perhaps you’ve got something,’ said Pedro watching Jack down his last wedge of Cheddar. He was looking at the guy’s expanding waistline. ‘Perhaps you could do with the exercise.’

  ‘Fantastic!’ said Jack, ‘to Britain I go!’