Jurgen: A Comedy of Justice

  23.

  Shortcomings of Prince Jurgen

  Now the happenings just recorded befell on the eve of the Nativityof St. John the Baptist: and thereafter Jurgen abode in Cocaigne,and complied with the customs of that country.

  In the palace of Queen Anaitis, all manner of pastimes werepractised without any cessation. Jurgen, who considered himself tobe somewhat of an authority upon such contrivances, was soonastounded by his own innocence. For Anaitis showed him whatever wasbeing done in Cocaigne, to this side and to that side, under thedirection of Anaitis, whom Jurgen found to be a nature myth ofdoubtful origin connected with the Moon; and who, in consequence,ruled not merely in Cocaigne but furtively swayed the tides of lifeeverywhere the Moon keeps any power over tides. It was the missionof Anaitis to divert and turn aside and deflect: in this the jealousMoon abetted her because sunlight makes for straightforwardness. SoAnaitis and the Moon were staunch allies. These mysteries of theirprivate relations, however, as revealed to Jurgen, are not verynicely repeatable.

  "But you dishonored the Moon, Prince Jurgen, denying praise to theday of the Moon. Or so, at least, I have heard."

  "I remember doing nothing of the sort. But I remember considering itunjust to devote one paltry day to the Moon's majesty. For night issacred to the Moon, each night that ever was the friend oflovers,--night, the renewer and begetter of all life."

  "Why, indeed, there is something in that argument," says Anaitis,dubiously.

  "'Something', do you say! why, but to my way of thinking it provesthe Moon is precisely seven times more honorable than any of theLeshy. It is merely, my dear, a question of arithmetic."

  "Was it for that reason you did not praise Pandelis and her Mondayswith the other Leshy?"

  "Why, to be sure," said Jurgen, glibly. "I did not find it at allpraiseworthy that such an insignificant Leshy as Pandelis shouldname her day after the Moon: to me it seemed blasphemy." Then Jurgencoughed, and looked sidewise at his shadow. "Had it been Sereda,now, the case would have been different, and the Moon might wellhave appreciated the delicate compliment."

  Anaitis appeared relieved. "I shall report your explanation.Candidly, there were ill things in store for you, Prince Jurgen,because your language was misunderstood. But that which you now sayputs quite a different complexion upon matters."

  Jurgen laughed, not understanding the mystery, but confident hecould always say whatever was required of him.

  "Now let us see a little more of Cocaigne!" cries Jurgen.

  For Jurgen was greatly interested by the pursuits of Cocaigne, andfor a week or ten days participated therein industriously. Anaitis,who reported the Moon's honor to be satisfied, now spared no effortto divert him, and they investigated innumerable pastimes together.

  "For all men that live have but a little while to live," saidAnaitis, "and none knows his fate thereafter. So that a manpossesses nothing certainly save a brief loan of his body: and yetthe body of man is capable of much curious pleasure. As thus andthus," says Anaitis. And she revealed devices to her Prince Consort.

  For Jurgen found that unknowingly he had in due and proper formespoused Queen Anaitis, by participating in the Breaking of theVeil, which is the marriage ceremony of Cocaigne. His earlierrelations with Dame Lisa had, of course, no legal standing inCocaigne, where the Church is not Christian and the Law is, Do thatwhich seems good to you.

  "Well, when in Rome," said Jurgen, "one must be romantic. Butcertainly this proves that nobody ever knows when he is beingentrapped into respectability: and never did a fine young fellowmarry a high queen with less premeditation."

  "Ah, my dear," says Anaitis, "you were controlled by the finger ofFate."

  "I do not altogether like that figure of speech. It makes one seemtoo trivial, to be controlled by a mere finger. No, it is not quitecomplimentary to call what prompted me a finger."

  "By the long arm of coincidence, then."

  "Much more appropriate, my love," says Jurgen, complacently: "itsounds more dignified, and does not wound my self esteem."

  Now this Anaitis who was Queen of Cocaigne was a delicious tall darkwoman, thinnish, and lovely, and very restless. From the first hernew Prince Consort was puzzled by her fervors, and presently wasfretted by them. He humbly failed to understand how anyone could beso frantic over Jurgen. It seemed unreasonable. And in her moreaffectionate moments this nature myth positively frightened him: fortransports such as these could not but rouse discomfortablereminiscences of the female spider, who ends such recreations bydevouring her partner.

  "Thus to be loved is very flattering," he would reflect, "and Iagain am Jurgen, asking odds of none. But even so, I am mortal. Sheought to remember that, in common fairness."

  Then the jealousy of Anaitis, while equally flattering, was equallyout of reason. She suspected everybody, seemed assured that everybosom cherished a mad passion for Jurgen, and that not for a momentcould he be trusted. Well, as Jurgen frankly conceded, his conducttoward Stella, that ill-starred yogini of Indawadi, had in point offact displayed, when viewed from an especial and quite unconscionablepoint of view, an aspect which, when isolated by persons judginghastily, might, just possibly, appear to approach remotely, in oneor two respects, to temporary forgetfulness of Anaitis, if indeedthere were people anywhere so mentally deficient as to find suchforgetfulness conceivable.

  But the main thing, the really important feature, which Anaitiscould not be made to understand, was that she had interrupted herconsort in what was, in effect, a philosophical experiment,necessarily attempted in the dark. The muntrus requisite to thesacti sodhana were always performed in darkness: everybody knewthat. For the rest, this Stella had asserted so-and-so; in simpleequity she was entitled to a chance to prove her allegations if shecould: so Jurgen had proceeded to deal fairly with her. Besides, whykeep talking about this Stella, after a vengeance so spectacular andthorough as that to which Anaitis had out of hand resorted? why keepreverting to a topic which was repugnant to Jurgen and visibly upsetthe dearest nature myth in all legend? Was it quite fair to anyoneconcerned? That was the sensible way in which Jurgen put it.

  Still, he became honestly fond of Anaitis. Barring hereccentricities when roused to passion, she was a generous and kindlycreature, although in Jurgen's opinion somewhat narrow-minded.

  "My love," he would say to her, "you appear positively unable tokeep away from virtuous persons! You are always seeking out thepeople who endeavor to be upright and straightforward, and you areperpetually laying plans to divert these people. Ah, but why botherabout them? What need have you to wear yourself out, and to devoteyour entire time to such proselitizing, when you might be so muchmore agreeably employed? You should learn, in justice to yourself aswell as to others, to be tolerant of all things; and to acknowledgethat in a being of man's mingled nature a strain of respectabilityis apt to develop every now and then, whatever you might prefer."

  But Anaitis had high notions as to her mission, and merely told himthat he ought not to speak with levity of such matters. "I would bemuch happier staying at home with you and the children," she wouldsay, "but I feel that it is my duty--"

  "And your duty to whom, in heaven's name?"

  "Please do not employ such distasteful expressions, Jurgen. It is myduty to the power I serve, my very manifest duty to my creator. Butyou have no sense of religion, I am afraid; and the reflection isoften a considerable grief to me."

  "Ah, but, my dear, you are quite certain as to who made you, and forwhat purpose you were made. You nature myths were created in theMythopoeic age by the perversity of old heathen nations: and youserve your creator religiously. That is quite as it should be. But Ihave no such authentic information as to my origin and mission inlife, I appear at all events to have no natural talent for beingdiverted, I do not take to it wholeheartedly, and these are facts wehave to face." Now Jurgen put his arm around her. "My dear Anaitis,you must not think it mere selfishness on my part. I was born with asomething lacking that is requisite for anyone who aspires to be a
sthoroughly misled as most people: and you will have to love me inspite of it."

  "I almost wish I had never seen you as I saw you in that corridor,Jurgen. For I felt drawn toward you then and there. I almost wish Ihad never seen you at all. I cannot help being fond of you: and yetyou laugh at the things I know to be required of me, and sometimesyou make me laugh, too."

  "But, darling, are you not just the least, littlest, tiniest, veryweest trifle bigoted? For instance, I can see that you think I oughtto evince more interest in your striking dances, and your strangepleasures, and your surprising caresses, and all your otherelaborate diversions. And I do think they do you credit, greatcredit, and I admire your inventiveness no less than yourindustry--"

  "You have no sense of reverence, Jurgen, you seem to have no senseat all of what is due to one's creator. I suppose you cannot helpthat: but you might at least remember it troubles me to hear youtalk so flippantly of my religion."

  "But I do not talk flippantly--"

  "Indeed you do, though. And it does not sound at all well, let metell you."

  "--Instead, I but point out that your creed necessitates, upon thewhole, an ardor I lack. You, my pet, were created by perversity: andeveryone knows it is the part of piety to worship one's creator infashions acceptable to that creator. So, I do not criticize yourreligious connections, dear, and nobody admires these ceremonials ofyour faith more heartily than I do. I merely confess that tocelebrate these rites so frequently requires a sustention ofenthusiasm which is beyond me. In fine, I have not your ferventtemperament, I am more sceptical. You may be right; and certainly Icannot go so far as to say you are wrong: but still, at the sametime--! That is how I feel about it, my precious, and that is why Ifind, with constant repetition of these ceremonials, a certain lackof firmness developing in my responses: and finally, darling, thatis all there is to it."

  "I never in my whole incarnation had such a Prince Consort!Sometimes I think you do not care a bit about me one way or theother, Jurgen."

  "Ah, but I do care for you very much. And to prove it, come now letus try some brand-new diversion, at sight of which the skies will beblackened and the earth will shudder or something of that sort, andthen I will take the children fishing, as I promised."

  "No, Jurgen, I do not feel like diverting you just now. You take allthe solemnity out of it with your jeering. Besides, you are alwayswith the children. Jurgen, I believe you are fonder of the childrenthan you are of me. And when you are not with them you are locked upin the Library."

  "Well, and was there ever such a treasury as the Library ofCocaigne? All the diversions that you nature myths have practised Ifind recorded there: and to read of your ingenious devices delightsand maddens me. For it is eminently interesting to meditate uponstrange pleasures, and to make verses about them is the most amiableof avocations: it is merely the pursuit of them that I woulddiscourage, as disappointing and mussy. Besides, the Library is theonly spot I have to myself in the palace, what with your fellownature myths making the most of life all over the place."

  "It is necessary, Jurgen, for one in my position to entertain moreor less. And certainly I cannot close the doors against my ownrelatives."

  "Such riffraff, though, my darling! Such odds and ends! I cannotcongratulate you upon your kindred, for I do not get on at all withthese patchwork combinations, that are one-third man and the othertwo-thirds a vulgar fraction of bull or hawk or goat or serpent orape or jackal or what not. Priapos is the only male myth who comeshere in anything like the semblance of a complete human being: and Ihad infinitely rather he stayed away, because even I who am Jurgencannot but be envious of him."

  "And why, pray?"

  "Well, where I go reasonably equipped with Caliburn, Priapos carriesa lance I envy--"

  "Like all the Bacchic myths he usually carries a thyrsos, and it isa showy weapon, certainly; but it is not of much use in actualconflict."

  "My darling! and how do you know?"

  "Why, Jurgen, how do women always know these things?--by intuition,I suppose."

  "You mean that you judge all affairs by feeling rather than reason?Indeed, I dare say that is true of most women, and men are dailychafed and delighted, about equally, by your illogical method ofputting things together. But to get back to the congenial task ofcriticizing your kindred, your cousin Apis, for example, may be avery good sort of fellow: but, say what you will, it is ill-advisedof him to be going about in public with a bull's head. It makes himneedlessly conspicuous, if not actually ridiculous: and it puts meout when I try to talk to him."

  "Now, Jurgen, pray remember that you speak of a very generallyrespected myth, and that you are being irreverent--"

  "--And moreover, I take the liberty of repeating, my darling, thateven though this Ba of Mendes is your cousin, it honestly doesembarrass me to have to meet three-quarters of a goat socially--"

  "But, Jurgen, I must as a master of course invite prolific Ba to myfeasts of the Sacae--"

  "Even so, my dear, in issuing invitations a hostess may fairly presupposethat her guests will not make beasts of themselves. I often wish thatthis mere bit of ordinary civility were more rigorously observed by Baand Hortanes and Fricco and Vul and Baal-Peor, and by all your othercousins who come to visit you in such a zoologically muddled condition.It shows a certain lack of respect for you, my darling."

  "Oh, but it is all in the family, Jurgen--"

  "Besides, they have no conversation. They merely bellow--or twitteror bleat or low or gibber or purr, according to their respectiveincarnations,--about unspeakable mysteries and monstrous pleasuresuntil I am driven to the verge of virtue by their imbecility."

  "If you were more practical, Jurgen, you would realize that itspeaks splendidly for anyone to be really interested in hisvocation--"

  "And your female relatives are just as annoying, with their eternalwhispered enigmas, and their crescent moons, and their mystic rosesthat change color and require continual gardening, and theirpathetic belief that I have time to fool with them. And the entirepack practises symbolism until the house is positively littered withasherahs and combs and phalloses and linghams and yonis and arghasand pulleiars and talys, and I do not know what other idiotic toysthat I am continually stepping on!"

  "Which of those minxes has been making up to you?" says Anaitis, hereyes snapping.

  "Ah, ah! now many of your female cousins are enticing enough--"

  "I knew it! Oh, but you need not think you deluded me--!"

  "My darling, pray consider! be reasonable about it! Your feminineguests at present are Sekhmet in the form of a lioness, Ioincarnated as a cow, Hekt as a frog, Derceto as a sturgeon, and--ah,yes!--Thoueris as a hippopotamus. I leave it to your sense ofjustice, dear Anaitis, if of ladies with such tastes in dress alovely myth like you can reasonably be jealous."

  "And I know perfectly well who it is! It is that Ephesian hussy, andI had several times noticed her behavior. Very well, oh, very well,indeed! nevertheless, I shall have a plain word or two with her atonce, and the sooner she gets out of my house the better, as I shalltell her quite frankly. And as for you, Jurgen--!"

  "But, my dear Lisa--!"

  "What do you call me? Lisa was never an epithet of mine. Why do youcall me Lisa?"

  "It was a slip of the tongue, my pet, an involuntary but notunnatural association of ideas. As for the Ephesian Diana, shereminds me of an animated pine-cone, with that eruption of breastsall over her, and I can assure you of your having no particularreason to be jealous of her. It was merely of the female myths ingeneral I spoke. Of course they all make eyes at me: I cannot wellhelp that, and you should have anticipated as much when you selectedsuch an attractive Prince Consort. What do these poor enamoredcreatures matter when to you my heart is ever faithful?"

  "It is not your heart I am worrying over, Jurgen, for I believe youhave none. Yes, you have quite succeeded in worrying me todistraction, if that is any comfort to you. However, let us not talkabout it. For it is now necessary, absolutely imperative, that I go
into Armenia to take part in the mourning for Tammouz: people wouldnot understand it at all if I stayed away from such importantorgies. And I shall get no benefit whatever from the trip, much as Ineed the change, because, without speaking of that famous heart ofyours, you are always up to some double-dealing, and I shall notknow into what mischief you may be thrusting yourself."

  Jurgen laughed, and kissed her. "Be off, and attend to yourreligious duties, dear, by all means. And I promise you I will staysafe locked in the Library till you come back."

  Thus Jurgen abode among the offspring of heathen perversity, andconformed to their customs. Death ends all things for all, theycontended, and life is brief: for how few years do men endure, andhow quickly is the most subtle and appalling nature myth explainedaway by the Philologists! So the wise person, and equally theforeseeing nature myth, will take his glut of pleasure while thereis yet time to take anything, and will waste none of his short lienupon desire and vigor by asking questions.

  "Oh, but by all means!" said Jurgen, and he docilely crowned himselfwith a rose garland, and drank his wine, and kissed his Anaitis.Then, when the feast of the Sacae was at full-tide, he would whisperto Anaitis, "I will be back in a moment, darling," and she wouldfrown fondly at him as he very quietly slipped from his ivory diningcouch, and went, with the merest suspicion of a reel, into theLibrary. She knew that Jurgen had no intention of coming back: andshe despaired of his ever taking the position in the social life ofCocaigne to which he was entitled no less by his rank as PrinceConsort than by his personal abilities. For Anaitis did not reallythink that, as went natural endowments, her Jurgen had much reasonto envy even such a general favorite as Priapos, say, from what sheknew of both.

  So it was that Jurgen honored custom. "Because these beastly naturemyths may be right," said Jurgen; "and certainly I cannot go so faras to say they are wrong: but still, at the same time--!"

  For Jurgen was content to dismiss no riddle with a mere "I do notknow." Jurgen was no more able to give up questioning the meaning oflife than could a trout relinquish swimming: indeed, he livedsubmerged in a flood of curiosity and doubt, as his native element.That death ended all things might very well be the case: yet if theoutcome proved otherwise, how much more pleasant it would be, foreveryone concerned, to have aforetime established amicable relationswith the overlords of his second life, by having done whatever itwas they expected of him here.

  "Yes, I feel that something is expected of me," says Jurgen: "andwithout knowing what it is, I am tolerably sure, somehow, that it isnot an indulgence in endless pleasure. Besides, I do not think deathis going to end all for me. If only I could be quite certain myencounter with King Smoit, and with that charming little SylviaTereu, was not a dream! As it is, plain reasoning assures me I amnot indispensable to the universe: but with this reasoning, somehow,does not travel my belief. No, it is only fair to my own intereststo go graveward a little more openmindedly than do these naturemyths, since I lack the requisite credulity to become a free-thinkingmaterialist. To believe that we know nothing assuredly, and cannotever know anything assuredly, is to take too much on faith."

  And Jurgen paused to shake his sleek black head two or three times,very sagely.

  "No, I cannot believe in nothingness being the destined end of all:that would be too futile a climax to content a dramatist cleverenough to have invented Jurgen. No, it is just as I said to thebrown man: I cannot believe in the annihilation of Jurgen by anyreally thrifty overlords; so I shall see to it that Jurgen doesnothing which he cannot more or less plausibly excuse, in case ofsupernal inquiries. That is far safer."

  Now Jurgen was shaking his head again: and he sighed.

  "For the pleasures of Cocaigne do not satisfy me. They are all wellenough in their way; and I admit the truism that in seeking bed andboard two heads are better than one. Yes, Anaitis makes me anexcellent wife. Nevertheless, her diversions do not satisfy me, andgallantly to make the most of life is not enough. No, it issomething else that I desire: and Anaitis does not quite understandme."