Vulnerable

  The laundry room at his complex would be busier than shit on a Saturday, too.

  He knew when to put up the good fight and when to capitulate. “Okay. Thank you.” It would mean a day spent with Eva trying to coax him into sliding back into their usual routine, and likely getting her feelings hurt when she couldn’t talk him into staying all night.

  Unfortunately, with Eva standing before him, compared to the fire he’d felt burning in his belly—and his cock—over Jesse and barely knowing the guy, he knew he had to stand firm.

  He could never be what Eva needed, even if she thought he was and could.

  The easy path would be to let her talk him into staying, let her talk him into bed, pretend she was Jesse and make love to her, and let her talk him into dropping the divorce and come home to be a family again.

  Written all over her face, that plan was one he had expected for a long time and was surprised it’d taken her this long to try again.

  Unfortunately, he knew he had to walk the difficult path. Difficult for now, at least. He could only hope Eva would soon meet a nice guy who wasn’t a dick to her and Laurel, and then Eva would finally start her true, deeper healing.

  He got Laurel into the car, buckled her into her booster seat, and they headed off to sushi.

  “Daddy, are you going on a date tomorrow night?”

  His gaze flicked to the rearview mirror and back onto the road again. “No, I’m going out with several friends I don’t usually get to spend time with, sweetheart.”

  Technically, none of that was a lie.

  Keith, Noel, and Scott were, sort of, friends. As was Jesse.

  And he usually didn’t get to spend time with any of them.

  She didn’t need to know he’d only met Jesse for the first time the night before.

  Once they were at their table and Laurel was busy checking items off the order pad, he felt his phone buzz.

  He pulled it out and spotted a text from Jesse.

  Looking forward to tomorrow night. :)

  His heart raced, pounding.

  No, he’d never felt like this when dating Eva. Not even when he’d thought he was madly in love with her.

  Not for any other woman he’d ever dated, either.

  Leo replied.

  Me too.

  They’d just put their order in when Jesse responded.

  :)

  Fortunately, at that point Laurel was too busy going through her iPad and pictures she’d taken last Saturday at Mote to notice him checking his phone.

  No, he wasn’t going to delude himself into thinking he’d just met the love of his life.

  What he had now, however, was hope that feeling like this about Jesse meant even if things eventually didn’t work out between the two of them, he could find someone else to feel this way about.

  A feeling he’d never felt before, about anyone.

  It reaffirmed his convictions that this—the divorce—had been the right decision after all.

  It also gave him a reason to stand strong tomorrow in the face of whatever tactics Eva might try to use on him to get him to stay.

  Determination to see this through to the very likely bitter end.

  * * * *

  He sent the leftovers inside with Laurel for her to put them in the fridge there. If he was coming over early in the morning anyway, he could have breakfast with her, leftover sushi, like they did when she stayed with him.

  He knew Eva couldn’t afford a lawn service and he needed to leave a little cushion in his own budget. Besides, mowing the lawn kept Eva reasonably happy and gave him more time to spend with Laurel.

  It wasn’t a sacrifice.

  After hugging Laurel goodnight, he thought he might make a clean escape when Eva spoke up. “If you wanted, after you go out with your friends tomorrow, you could come back here.”

  He prayed she didn’t hear his sigh. He’d still held out a little hope that maybe he’d been wrong about Eva’s motivations for tomorrow.

  “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” he said. “That would be really confusing for Laurel, don’t you think?” He tried to channel the counselor, things she’d told them. “I don’t want her to get her hopes up like that just to hurt her again.”

  Left unsaid, that he knew it was more Eva’s hopes he’d be getting up.

  He held his breath until she finally nodded. He thought maybe he’d escaped this encounter—barely—unscathed.

  “You’re right,” she quietly said. She turned to go, then stopped. “Just for the record, I’ve never had anyone stay overnight, except you that time.”

  She slipped inside and closed the door before he could respond.

  Dammit.

  Tomorrow there would likely be an icy chill in the air as Winter Storm Eva set up shop until she finally got it out of her system.

  He chastised himself for the uncharitable thoughts. Yes, she had issues of her own. Plenty of them.

  Which was why he was doing his best to be patient with her.

  That was okay. Laurel already had expectations of him being there for most of the day, he’d get to spend time with his daughter, and he could do his laundry without having to babysit it or worrying about it disappearing from the washers or dryers.

  He’d take the win.

  * * * *

  Jesse laid in bed, wide awake and slowly stroking his hard cock. He couldn’t get Leo’s gorgeous blue eyes out of his mind.

  And Leo’s body. How he’d had to look up to say goodnight to him when he’d left Keith’s house.

  Imagining how it’d feel to have those arms wrapped around him.

  Or Leo holding onto his head and fucking his mouth.

  Yes, he’d even rubbed one out in the shower that morning before work. Practically unheard of for him at that time of morning.

  All night long, he’d dreamed about Leo and things he wanted to teach the man to do to him.

  Quit getting your hopes and expectations up. You don’t even know for sure he’ll like BDSM once he gets into it. Or he might turn out to be a total douche. You only spent a couple of hours with him last night.

  But what great hours they’d been. They had a lot in common in terms of movies, music, even books.

  His hand encircled the base of his cock, his other reaching down and lightly squeezing his balls as he stroked his shaft. At the top of each stroke he slicked pre-cum around the head and down again, slowly building himself up, playing out a fantasy in his mind.

  Him naked, except for a leather collar and leather cuffs around his wrists and ankles. Bent over the end of the bed, his ankles and wrists tied, keeping him spread-eagle.

  The feel of Leo’s fingers slowly probing his ass, working lube inside him, getting his ass ready to accept Leo’s cock.

  An ass that had already been spanked until his flesh was red and tender, stinging and sore, which would make the sensation of Leo’s thighs rubbing against his as he fucked him feel that much better.

  Being taken, used…

  Owned.

  What it would feel like to have Leo’s cock slowly penetrate him, working inside him, thrust by thrust, deeper with every stroke until he was balls-deep.

  Long, slow thrusts at first, building speed and force until Leo was fucking him hard, slamming him into the bed, balls slapping against Jesse’s ass with every stroke. Until the sound of it filled the room and his own cock screamed for release. Release that wouldn’t come until Leo did, emptying his balls inside Jesse first before reaching around him and pulling on his cock.

  Ordering Jesse to come for him.

  Caught up in his fantasy, Jesse’s hand stroked his cock harder, faster, eyes closed and his lip caught under his teeth until, finally—blessed relief. He let out a loud groan, his hand frantically stroking and squeezing every last drop of cum from his balls until he fell still, sated.

  Well, temporarily.

  I’ve got it bad already.

  He would need to keep his head on straight, that was blatantly obvious
. It’d be too damned easy for him to become a total slut for the guy and chuck common sense out the window. With his new job opportunity, he couldn’t afford to be stupid.

  He couldn’t afford another Mario in his life. He refused to fall victim again and be vulnerable to his own stupid fantasies, or someone else’s.

  On shaky legs he got out of bed and cleaned up. With that tension eased a little, he might actually be able to get some sleep.

  As he closed his eyes, it was Leo’s face that came to mind immediately.

  And those damned gorgeous blue eyes of his.

  Chapter Seven

  Leo moaned when his alarm went off Saturday morning. If he didn’t get over to Eva’s and start mowing soon, it’d be too damned hot.

  And he didn’t want to wear himself out.

  Not bothering to grab a shower, he pulled on some old shorts and a T-shirt and sneakers and gathered his dirty laundry in a basket at the front door. After picking out clothes for that night, and putting together a shower kit, he stowed that in an overnight bag. He was just about ready to leave when he remembered his swim trunks.

  Again, Eva had offered for him to keep a pair there at the house, and he’d gently declined. It’d be too easy to slowly move himself back in, one piece at a time, until he couldn’t give any valid excuse to her why he should go home when everything he needed was there.

  Well, not everything.

  Jesse wouldn’t be there.

  What the hell is wrong with me?

  This kind of infatuation wasn’t like him at all. He didn’t know if that would be a good or a bad thing.

  But he knew he needed to pursue it, pursue Jesse, and see if anything would come of it.

  At least to answer the questions he had about himself. To experiment, to explore.

  To actually spend time with a willing partner in this, a male partner.

  One who knew more about it than he did and who could teach him.

  Someone who was more than a random mutual handjob in a resort’s poolside bathroom, or receiving a quick, anonymous blowjob in a room after a guy walked up to him at the bar and made a pass at him.

  Yes, in retrospect, that guy had been a bottom, too. Something about he had orders to blow fifty guys that day before he would be allowed to come. Making Leo snap a pic of him with Leo’s cock in his mouth before he could really get started.

  If it hadn’t been for the fact that the guy’d been damned good with his mouth, Leo likely would have backed out and run.

  Except it’d been his first blowjob by a guy, and Leo’s nervous excitement, combined with the guy’s oral skills, meant it’d been over in just a couple of minutes.

  Especially when the guy grabbed Leo’s hands and put them on his head and made it obvious that he wanted Leo to use him.

  It’d both excited Leo and made him feel a little sick at the same time.

  The anonymity of the encounter wouldn’t have eased his conscience, but knowing then what little he knew now about Dominance and submission, that would have made it somewhat easier on him.

  * * * *

  When Leo arrived at Eva’s, Laurel had the TV tuned to the History channel and was already digging leftover sushi out of the fridge for their breakfast.

  Eva dug into her bowl of Cheerios. “I don’t understand how you can stomach that stuff fresh, much less the next day.”

  Laurel skillfully prepared her small dish of soy sauce with a pinch of wasabi. “It’s good, Mommy.” She held a slice of California roll up to her. “Here. Try one.”

  It was all Leo could do not to laugh as Eva turned away while struggling not to dry heave. “Sweetie, you know Mommy doesn’t like sushi,” he said.

  “She always tells me to try stuff I don’t think I’ll like.” But her evil little grin as she dredged the piece through the soy sauce mixture with her bare fingers before popping it into her mouth told Leo otherwise.

  She enjoyed tormenting her mother like that.

  Holy. Crap. Maybe I fathered a sadist.

  Laurel still had trouble using chopsticks despite her frustrating efforts to master them. So she relied on her fingers to pluck pieces of sushi out of the takeout carton, dunk them, and then pop them into her mouth.

  Eva took her bowl of cereal out to the sofa, where she could eat without watching them.

  Laurel shot Leo another adorably evil grin.

  It was all he could do not to laugh at her. Which would prompt Eva to ask what was so funny. Then he’d have to rat out his daughter, because they’d always insisted they wouldn’t lie to or around her.

  He’d damn sure do his best to stick to that, as much as he could in a six-year-old-child-appropriate way.

  With the rest of the sushi polished off, he headed out to the garage. First to start a load of laundry, and then to get the garage door open and fire up the lawn mower. Their backyard, with the pool cage, wasn’t very big. But with the front yard, it took him nearly an hour to finish. Then he had to use the line trimmer.

  Eva and Laurel came outside and started weeding the front flowerbeds while he did that.

  It wasn’t worth investing in a riding mower for the size of the lot. And he needed the extra exercise. He didn’t have time to use the exercise room at his apartment complex, and he’d cancelled his gym membership in lieu of getting the Mote Marine family membership for Laurel.

  And he wasn’t going to come swim in Eva’s pool, even though he did pay a pool service to take care of that.

  He’d forgotten about the laundry when he heard the dryer buzzer go off inside the garage during a pause in the trimming.

  Eva looked over. “I put the other load in for you,” she said.

  “Thanks.”

  She gave him one of those sad smiles and nodded before getting back to weeding.

  This had been a mistake. He sensed it already. As the afternoon wore on, Eva would likely up her game in her attempts to get him to stay.

  Maybe even enlist Laurel in her efforts. If Laurel begged him to stay he wasn’t sure he could say no to her, even though he knew that, in some ways, it would be reinforcing manipulative behavior.

  She was his daughter. She already had him wrapped around her little fingers. Fighting a concerted joint effort by her and her mother would be a losing battle, and he knew it.

  The first salvo came when he’d finished the yard work and changed to jump into the pool with Laurel before lunch.

  Eva joined them on the lanai and sat at the pool’s edge, dangling her feet in the water. She didn’t look at him. “So who was it you said you’re going out with tonight?”

  “One of the guys at the marina, Keith. Him and his wife, and some others.” Okay, close enough to the truth. “And a couple of their friends are joining us, from what I understand.” He could play dirty, too. “I get a lot of work from them. They were going to go out last night, but then I said I couldn’t because I was going out with Laurel, so they changed it to tonight so I could join them. I darn sure don’t want to risk making any of them mad and souring a business connection. And I have no idea how late we’ll be out tonight.”

  “Oh.” Eva finally glanced his way. She believed him, he could tell from her expression.

  And one thing she didn’t do was mess with his work. She was fully aware she couldn’t be living in the house with Laurel if he wasn’t making the money he did. He wasn’t rich, but they got by, although it was slimmer now with houses divided. At least Eva was now earning more money and able to kick in some to take up the slack.

  If he ever had an emergency job he had to take care of and was supposed to take Laurel, she would make allowances so he could work. Just like if she got called into work at the last minute, he would drop everything, including social plans, and take Laurel for her.

  Not that he’d had much in the way of social plans before now.

  “Can I come, Daddy?” Laurel asked.

  Now he had to fib, but Sigalo’s did have a bar area so it wasn’t a total lie. “Sorry, sweetie. We’re mee
ting at a bar. No kids allowed. You’re not old enough.”

  She frowned. “When will I be old enough?”

  “Too soon,” Eva chimed in. From the tone of her voice, Leo could tell all was forgiven. Now that he’d slipped the work connection more clearly into the mix, and added the little bit of guilt about them rearranging the outing around his time with Laurel, he suspected she wasn’t going to give him too much of a hassle about it.

  Why didn’t I think of doing that sooner?

  Oh, yeah. It would have given her more time to think of a comeback.

  He hated being like that with Eva. She was the mother of his child, and had been his wife for twelve years. He had known her for over a quarter of his life. And as Laurel’s mother, she would be in his life, in some capacity, for the rest of her life.

  But the sooner Eva got on with her own life—in earnest—and stopped hanging her hopes on a reconciliation that would never happen, the faster things would be easier on all of them.

  Including Laurel.

  Especially Laurel. Leo wanted his daughter to grow up a strong, independent woman who could make decisions based on what was right for her, not out of a fear of being alone.

  Part of him wanted to shake Eva and make her step up to the plate.

  The other part of him called that part of himself a total fucking asshole for even thinking like that.

  Especially since he knew why Eva was like that.

  * * * *

  After the swim lesson, they grilled hot dogs on the back porch and sat in the shade. Eva had donned dark sunglasses that didn’t allow Leo to see behind them.

  He could read her like a book and always had been able to, despite what she thought to the contrary.

  Dark glasses allowed her to mask her vulnerability for a little while, but it didn’t disguise it. Not from him.

  In fact, it only emphasized it to Leo.

  He hated being the cause of her current pain but knew she was strong enough to walk through this and make it to the other side, if only she would let go of him in her heart and start the journey.

  He suspected “Mark” and others she’d gone out with a couple of times were more for show than anything. To kid herself that she was out there and trying. Or hell, maybe she thought she’d try to make Leo jealous.