Leaving

  “Bailey promised me that if she’s asked to do a love story, she’d want me to co-star.” He smiled fondly at her, clearly teasing and keeping the moment light, directing the attention off her answer. As if he would be second in billing to her anytime soon. “Right, Bailey?”

  “Yes.” She laughed. “What are friends for?”

  He was a gentleman then, and as they were whisked on to their next meeting — the dinner with his agent — and then back at his house where a crew of makeup artists waited to help them get ready for tonight. Through it all, Brandon played perfectly the role of her doting friend, her protector, and confidant. She had long since become convinced that he was serious. What he’d told her earlier on the mountain path was exactly how he felt. Now it was only a matter of Bailey agreeing that maybe … despite his crazy life in Hollywood, they might have a chance.

  With all that in mind, when he asked her in the limo on the way to the red carpet event whether she wanted to walk alone or whether she would give him the honor of walking with him, she had only one answer. The one that was right, and the one that overflowed from her heart. “Yes, Brandon … I’ll walk with you.”

  And so here they were, the two of them taking the walk down a red carpet that felt a mile long. They turned one way and then the other, and Brandon alternated between having his arm around her and waving for the cameras. She felt lightheaded and breathless, grateful for Brandon’s peace and strong presence beside her.

  “Are you two dating? Tell us, Brandon!”

  “Brandon … over here!”

  “Bailey … give him a kiss … show us that you’re in love!”

  She laughed in amazement at the audacity of some of the requests being shouted at them. Brandon maintained his smile, but he spoke in a voice loud enough for only her to hear. “Ignore them … they’re fishing … just keep smiling, keep waving.”

  His words were like balm to her soul, the only thing that kept her calmly moving down the length of the carpet. After what felt like an hour of smiling and waving, they finally entered the theater. Inside there were more recognizable faces than Bailey had expected. Everyone who had starred in movies in the last five years seemed to be mingling and sharing appetizers and champagne.

  Again, Bailey wasn’t overly shaken by the celebrities in the room. She had hoped to see her former college roommate Andi here, but Andi’s dad — Keith Ellison, who was one of the producers from Unlocked—had explained that she was at a weekend retreat. She was healing from the last few years, still finding her way after giving her infant son up for adoption, and definitely getting stronger in her faith. They would have to catch up some other time.

  “You don’t look nervous.” Brandon seemed entirely focused on her, practically oblivious to the actors in the room.

  “I’m not.” She smiled at him, feeling composed and ready for the night. But for the first time she realized how great the mission field in Hollywood really was. Across from them were a couple who openly practiced Kaballah, and down a few groups was a female pop star who proudly bragged about making out with girls and guys — usually at the same parties.

  “I bet I can read your mind,” Brandon held her hand. He leaned in, his words barely louder than a whisper. In this space, they could stand closer together, be the sort of friends Bailey enjoyed being with him. No one in here would talk about them in the morning. They all had their own dramas to tend to.

  “What?” Bailey took a glass of sparkling water from a waiter passing by, and Brandon did the same. She clinked glasses with his and batted her eyes, enjoying everything about the moment. “What am I thinking?”

  “How godless Hollywood is.” A sadness shaded his eyes, though his smile never left his face. “Right?”

  “Sort of.” The room was loud, people decked out and connecting with one another all around them. But the two of them might as well have been back on the hillside path headed up from the beach. He still had hold of her hand, and they were facing each other. So their conversation was private from others nearby. “I guess … I was thinking how much work there is to do. How badly we need actors who love the Lord … working here, practicing their faith.” She smiled, proud of him. “So the movie industry might see what living for God looks like.”

  “Hmmm.” He clinked her glass again. “Cheers to that.” They took sips of their water and looked at each other, not necessarily needing words.

  “It’s my turn.” She giggled, grateful for this time with him.

  “Never.” He gave her his familiar teasing smile. “No one reads my mind.”

  “Mmmm.” She laughed. “I have to try.” She waited, watching him, searching his soul. Had this really been just one day? It felt like she’d been here in Southern California with Brandon for a week or longer. Already they felt closer than at any time during the shooting of Unlocked. “You’re thinking if Hollywood needs more Christian actors … why won’t I audition for another movie.”

  He didn’t even pretend to laugh at the idea. Instead, his expression immediately filled with a longing that had been there a number of times that day. “You got me, Bailey Flanigan.” He rubbed his thumb tenderly along the top of her hand. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.”

  Bailey had to admit, in that moment she wasn’t sure of her answer. She had always wanted to perform — and always on Broadway. Until now she believed that God would lead her to a stage in New York City where she would sing and dance and shine for Him. But clearly God had closed that door … since Francesca Tilly and her staff still hadn’t called. So what did that mean? And why was her heart doing flip-flops with Brandon Paul standing close enough to kiss her?

  The mingling wound down, but not before Brandon introduced her to a few dozen A-list actors. Each time he said the same thing. “I’d like you to meet my friend Bailey.” Like he’d told her, no one in the room would talk about them to the press or gossip about them in the morning. The introduction was purely out of respect for her, and Bailey couldn’t express in words how much the gesture meant.

  By the time they made it across the room to where her parents and brothers, Luke and Dayne, and their families were hanging out, it was time to move into the theater. They did so with a sense of thrill and anticipation that created an almost electric feeling amidst the crowd. As they took their seats — Brandon on one side of Bailey and Connor on the other — Bailey felt the presence of God’s Spirit in the room.

  You’re doing something new, aren’t You, Lord? I can feel it …

  Yes, daughter … Look at the new thing I am going to do. It is already happening … don’t you see it?

  The verse was from Isaiah chapter 43, something Bailey had studied last semester in her Campus Crusade meetings. The fact that God brought it to mind now was further proof of what she already believed in her heart. That God was at work in Hollywood, and that He was about to use Brandon Paul and Unlocked in a very powerful way. So where did that leave her?

  Bailey had no answers for herself, but for the next two hours she relished the feel of her hand in Brandon’s and her family all around her. The movie was better than she remembered it, but Brandon had told her she’d feel that way. Halfway through the film he leaned over and whispered, “See … nothing like watching it in a theater on opening night.”

  She nodded, grateful again for the experience and swept away by Brandon’s performance as the autistic Holden Harris. “Brandon, … you’re so good.” She put her face close to his. “I mean … you’re unbelievable.”

  He winked at her. “I’ve been trying to tell you that.”

  A quiet ripple of laughter lightened the moment, and they fell quiet through the rest of the film. When it was over, the audience gave the movie a standing ovation and the party and celebration lasted until well after midnight. By the time they pulled into Brandon’s garage, her brothers were asleep again, and they had only a few hours before the Flanigans had to catch a plane in the morning.

  Brandon helped wake up the boys, and when everyone was
in bed, he asked Bailey out onto the downstairs deck, the one that was larger and not attached to a bedroom. She was glad he wasn’t too tired to talk. He’d been right about their private time. Even though they were side-by-side through the night, they’d had very little time to talk.

  When they were outside, they leaned against the railing and Bailey was struck once more by how long the day had seemed. How long and yet how short. “It seems like only a moment ago I was standing on the bedroom balcony dreaming about this day.” She turned to him. “Now it’s over.”

  He took her hands, his eyes shining in the darkness. “It doesn’t have to be.”

  “Brandon.” She shook her head and looked out at the moon on the water. “You’re in the middle of shooting a new movie, and I …” she turned to him again, “I’m back in Bloomington.” She liked the idea more than ever, but the practicalities seemed too great to overcome. “I mean … explain yourself. How does this not have to end?”

  “Don’t you see?” He took a step closer, his sincerity so real and raw it took her breath. “You finish up your classes and move here. My agent would take you in a minute.” He uttered a nervous laugh. “You heard him earlier today. He’d love the chance to work with you.”

  She turned back to the ocean, processing the possibility, imagining the reality. The surf drowned out the sound of her pounding heart. Was she really considering this? Could she leave Bloomington and her dreams of Broadway? Could she finally walk away from Cody and leave everything about the past behind her? She breathed in deep, fighting to stand when everything in her trembled with fear for the adventure he was suggesting to her.

  “You’re thinking about it.” He turned, facing the water, his arm close against hers. There was a thrill in his voice that hadn’t been there before. “You’re actually thinking about it.”

  “You asked me to.” She smiled, trying to keep the moment from slipping somewhere too deep to return from, trying not to commit herself to someplace from which there would be no coming back. No matter how hard her heart pounded.

  “Bailey, …” he faced her again and tenderly ran his hand along her arm. “You know how I feel … I’ve been honest.” He searched her eyes. “But you … you haven’t said … if you feel any of what I’m feeling.” Brandon’s confidence was something that magnified his charm and appeal. But here, before her, he looked shaken, like it had taken all his bravery to ask the question. “Do you feel it, Bailey?”

  The night was warm, same as the day, but even so Bailey felt herself begin to shiver. If she let herself fall for Brandon Paul, if she gave in to the feelings he’d stirred in her this weekend, she might forget who she’d been a week ago. Her dreams and goals, the way she still planned to find Cody and at least get an explanation from him. All of it wouldn’t matter if she allowed herself to get lost in Brandon Paul’s eyes, if she let her heart take up residence here, with him.

  She put her hands on either side of his face and for a long time she said nothing, but just let the ocean breeze move around them while she looked into his eyes. Finally she said the only thing she could say, the truth that had risen to the surface these past two days. “I feel it. I do, Brandon.” She laughed, nervous because she had actually allowed herself to say exactly what was on her heart. “Wow.” She lowered her hands and took a few steps away from him. When she turned back, she brushed her hair from her face and her laughter faded. “Did I really say that?”

  “You did.” He wasn’t going to let the moment pass. He walked to her and took her hands in his again. This time — for the first time — he slid his fingers between hers. Bailey felt her stomach fall, the way it did when she and her brothers rode the Viper at Six Flags in Chicago. “So, I finish up my movie … and I come to Bloomington.” His words were slow. They had a hypnotic effect over her, like everything about his presence slowed time, and made the world stand still.

  “Brandon, …” She swallowed, desperate for the right words. “I feel it … I do. I never thought …” She looked up, grasping for a plan. “I figured you and I would always be friends. That your … your life would never work with mine.”

  “It can. Bailey, … you have to believe that.” Slowly, ever so slowly, he pulled her close and just when she thought he might kiss her, he brushed the side of his face against hers. “Please, Bailey, … give us a chance. You’re the best friend I have.” He eased back, searching her face, her eyes. “But I’m in love with you. Completely and fully.”

  Bailey had a million questions, logistics that simply didn’t line up. Brandon would finish his shoot when? In six weeks? And then he’d come to Bloomington to do what? He would be recognized everywhere he went, which meant they could really only hang out at her parents’ house. And even then eventually that would draw paparazzi. Bailey Flanigan in Bloomington might not be worth their time. But Brandon Paul staying at the Flanigan house? That would bring an army of them. And then what? She would finish her semester and move to Los Angeles? Fight her way through the maze of concrete high rises and never-ending freeways?

  With all the unknowns crashing together in her mind, she could think of just one that made sense. “Your life … Brandon, you’re busy.” She could smell his cologne from earlier in the night, and he looked impossibly handsome. Something she hadn’t really noticed working with him on the Unlocked shoot, or even yesterday on the Tonight Show. But now … when she could see his heart for God and for her … now her attraction was so strong it shook her.

  He stepped back, clearly concerned. “Look at Dayne and Katy … they made it work.”

  Katy and Dayne’s relationship was something she’d tried not to think about this weekend. Because if she did, if she allowed herself to picture the way her dear friend and drama teacher, small-town girl Katy Hart, had worked things out with one of the country’s hottest movie stars Dayne Matthews, then Bailey could come to no other conclusion than the obvious one: If Katy could find a way to make things work, she could too.

  The hours were slipping away, and already it was nearly three in the morning. “Can we do this?” Bailey put her hand alongside Brandon’s face again, lost in his eyes the way she wanted to stay. “Let’s pray about what God wants … whether this is His plan or just …” she felt the sadness in her smile, “just a magical weekend where both of us were bound to get swept away.”

  He shook his head slowly, never breaking eye contact. “It’s not that. I told you … I’ve been thinking about this since the last time we were together. You’re the only girl, Bailey, … the only one I want.” He thought for a quick moment. “I wasn’t going to point this out, because I know it’s hard for you. But, Bailey, think about it …” He ran his hand along her arm again. “You auditioned for a Broadway show, and what happened?”

  She hadn’t wanted to tell him, but she should’ve known him better. Of course he remembered. She had told him about the audition the last time they talked. The disappointment rang through her again. “They didn’t call. I … didn’t get the part.”

  “But see? That’s how God answers prayers, Bailey, … it is.” He hugged her again, moving ever so slowly, holding her like she was the most rare treasure. “A no to Broadway might just mean a yes to Hollywood. Maybe a bigger world needs you.” He kissed the side of her face. “The way I need you, Bailey, … here with me.”

  His words hit their mark, making her feet feel ten feet off the ground one more time. If she didn’t step back, create at least a little distance between them, she would lose herself in this moment, and they’d spend the next hour kissing and making promises she had no idea if either of them would be able to keep. With a self-discipline that could’ve only come from God, she drew back, breathless. “Brandon, …” she forced herself to find a voice of reason. “Can we pray … please?”

  Their closeness had gotten to him, too; she could see the intense desire in his eyes, a desire that hadn’t been there even a few minutes ago. He breathed in deep, searching for control. “Of course.” He took her hands and, after nearly
a minute, he began. “Dear Lord … You’ve brought Bailey and me together for a reason. I believe that … and we both feel it. I don’t want … just any casual relationship with her, God. You’ve changed me forever. You’ve changed what I want.”

  Bailey again felt her heart melt at his words. She focused on God, on His place between them as they prayed.

  “What I’m saying, Lord, is I want us to take our time and … and find Your plan. So please, God … make Your path clear. And as Bailey and her family leave in a few hours, let her know that she will take a piece of my heart with her. In Your name, amen.”

  “Amen.”

  He pulled her close, hugging her one last time. “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I don’t want to go.” Once more she was almost certain he was going to kiss her. Here in the moonlight, with the ocean in the background and Brandon’s arms around her, Bailey couldn’t imagine anything better. But instead Brandon released her and slipped his hands into the pockets of his dress pants. Another deep breath, and like before he seemed to struggle with his resolve. “We better get inside.”

  “Yes.” Bailey almost suggested they forget about getting sleep, sit out here on his balcony and talk and dream and watch the sun come up. But that would only leave her more confused when she left in a few hours. Whatever happened, she knew this much. Her feelings for Brandon were real, and just because her night as Cinderella was over, that didn’t mean she was going to disappear from his life. She had a very strong feeling he wouldn’t let her even if she tried.

  Back in the house he walked her to the foot of the stairs, where she faced him one last time. “Tonight … this weekend. It was amazing, Brandon.”