A Life in Snow: A World Shifters Story
I found myself putting placemats on the table and setting three plates. I was close now. I said, “Okay.”
Billy brought three pairs of utensils and set each on the table. He said, “When I was eight, my friends Justin and Tracy, who were both ten at the time, were arguing over which Power Ranger was the best one. It was a dumb argument but neither one would give up and after a while they just started yelling at each other. I was a small kid and they were both bigger than me, especially Justin. But I walked up to them and just started talking. And before I knew it they stopped fighting and were actually laughing together. That was the first time I did anything like that and I still remember it to this day.”
Billy was staring at his reflection on the plate so he didn’t notice me leaning forward on the table, focusing on every word he was saying. “I guess…” Billy said, “I guess I’ve always been good at settling arguments between people.”
This is it. This has to be it. This has to be what I’ve been looking for. My mind was about to connect the last pieces of the puzzle together when a voice at the entrance to the kitchen said, “Mmm, that smells good boys.”
Both Billy and I turned to see Salli standing at the entryway into the kitchen. She was smiling at the both of us, openly glad that Billy and I, at least from her point of view, were getting along.
She was wearing gray sweats tied to her waist. Her bare feet were showing and she had her toenails painted a light shade of violet. She had her long hair tied in a simple ponytail. She was wearing a white T-shirt with the words “BEST MOM EVAR” pressed on the front of it. I snorted a bit seeing the phrase. Salli looked down at her shirt and made a face. “It’s true though.”
I chuckled. “I have no doubts.”
Billy interrupted our exchange by saying the food was ready. Salli thanked the both of us and we sat at the dinner table. Salli sat across from me with her back to the open window of the house and Billy sat at the end of the table, although I did notice he was edged somewhat closer to his mom than he was to me.
“I don’t know if you pray Richard but when we have dinner we say a few words. Nothing formal, just something to say how thankful we are,” said Salli.
I smiled. “I understand.”
The three of us held hands and bowed our heads. Sallie began, “We would like to give thanks for this meal, for family, and for new friends…” I felt her hand squeeze mine.
She continued, “We also give thanks for each day we are granted, for we know how precious each moment is and can be. May we be ever blessed and ever happy in life. Amen.”
“Amen,” Billy and I said. And with that, the dinner began.
I won’t go into the specifics of how the dinner went. Salli and I talked, Billy and Salli talked, even Billy and I shared a few words as well as a few laughs, much to our mutual surprise. Minutes turned into hours as we enjoyed each other’s company. I don’t remember what words were spoken, what thoughts were expressed, which is strange for one such as I. Just know that it was the happiest I’ve ever been, the most content I’ve ever been in a very, very long time. Even now as I retell this story to you, there’s a shadow of happiness there. A happiness that never was but could only ever truly be. For people, places, and memories never really die, they live on in the hearts and in the minds forever. And even when those hearts stop beating and the vessels in which those memories exist are but ashes, the great breath of time will always keep them safe somewhere.
With the dinner having ended I helped with the dishes until Billy excused himself to finish his homework. We shook hands, said our goodbyes and he went upstairs. Without turning to Salli I made my way to the coat rack. One by one I inserted my arms into my coat’s sleeves, not looking at Salli all the while. But I felt her gaze upon me; I didn’t need to use my powers to know that. After some hesitation, she got the courage to push herself off the entrance way she was leaning on and walk toward me to pat off dust that had collected on my coat. I smiled my thanks and opened the door leading outside.
With my feet on the porch steps outside her home, I saw the beautiful whiteness of the snow illuminated by the bright street lights. I could see the stars and the moon adding to the already magnificent scenery. It was a gorgeous site.
“Hey,” said a timid voice. I turned to see Salli, hugging herself against the cold and keeping the door ajar with her hip. I looked at her.
She asked, “Will I ever see you again?”
I only nodded. I didn’t want to test the voice that was locked inside my throat.
“You promise? You’ll see us again before you leave?”
This time I did answer. “I promise.”
She smiled that bright, lovely smile of hers. The smile I will always remember, always see in my dreams of a snowy world. She raised her hand for me to shake. Instead of shaking it I gently held her fingers and turned it over so the back of her hand faced me. Then, I bent down and kissed it. She didn’t say anything but I felt waves of joy, happiness, warmth, and sadness emanate from her.
I said, “Godspeed to you and your son, Salli Carnham.”
This time she didn’t say anything and only nodded. I let go of her hand, stepped off the porch and headed back to my hotel.
********
Two weeks had passed since I last saw Salli and Billy Carnham. I rarely left the hotel I was staying in, and the few times I did was only to shop for groceries and other essentials. I avoided going to the places Salli frequented so I wouldn’t risk bumping into her again.
I had nothing to show for my stay here. Each new report sent to EJ would come back with increasingly tersely worded replies. But I didn’t care. I was locked in an internal struggle with myself. On one hand, I knew my duty. On the other was the possibility. The possibility of a normal life outside what was expected of me.
Night had already fallen as I sat on the edge of my bed staring at the empty desk where my PDA was lying. The TV was on; I hadn’t turned it off in days. I was about to flick the off switch on the TV with minor telekinesis when I heard the last half of the female reporter’s statement:
“…drive-by shooting in front of the local Starbucks. New information just in...”
I jerked my head around and focused entirely on the TV as details of the shooting came through.
A young woman had stopped in front of the coffee shop and witnesses saw her peering inside when a black sedan with dark-tinted windows drove by and opened fire on the Starbucks. The witnesses have reported that the woman was hit three times in the back and the force of the blast spun her around, allowing two more bullets to hit her. The shooting stopped and the black sedan sped away. The windows to several buildings, including the Starbucks, were shattered. When the café’s patrons saw that the car was gone a few rushed toward the fallen woman. Someone called 911 while another person went to look for a doctor. The picture they had of the Starbucks was familiar and I realized with horror that it was the same one I had met Salli in weeks ago. My heart lurched in my chest. The reporter continued…
“Regulars of the café as well as corroborating witnesses have stated that the woman had been seen passing by this Starbucks every day for the last two weeks. Some have also said that she had, on several occasions, asked if a certain man had been there that day. No description of this man has been made public but police are following a few leads…”
My heart stopped. The world around me stopped. I didn’t hear the wind outside, or the reporter’s words or the creak of the bed as I stood up and walked to the hotel room phone.
I phoned the hotel manager and he picked up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
I told him I was a guest in his hotel and gave him my room number.
“Ah, yes sir, how can I assist you?”
As calmly as I could I asked, “Where’s the hospital in Orlando?” He gave me the location. “Is it the only hospital in town?”
“Yes, sir,” he said. “D
id something happen, are you all right?”
“No, I just need to visit a friend there.”
“I understand, sir. I can have a taxi ready for you in five minutes to take you there.”
“Please, thank you.” I hung up the phone before he could say more.
I ran into the bathroom and splashed water on my face that was so cold I felt a burning, tingling sensation that caused my eyes to focus and my face to turn red for a couple seconds. After drying my face with a towel I threw on my coat and shoes and ran to where the parking lot was. Sure enough, a telltale yellow cab was parked in front of the manager’s office. I waved to the manager but didn’t wait for a response as I got into the cab. It was clean for a taxi, without the pungent odor of multiple car fresheners and the lingering smell of passed out drunks.
“You want to go to the hospital, sir?” asked the cabbie.
“Yes, where the visitor’s drop-off area is,” I said.
Sensing my urgency he simply nodded and drove out of the lot. In no time the hotel was behind me and we were cruising at a respectable speed toward the center of town where the hospital was.
I didn’t want to believe it was her. I wanted to believe it was a different Starbucks, in a different city in some distant part of the world. I didn’t want to believe the witnesses’ reports that she was looking for a man, a man who had enjoyed a single slice of mocha and chocolate cake and then was pulled out of the store by a woman he could’ve loved if he had been given less than half a chance. I didn’t want to believe that she was in that hospital because of me…
We were soon at the hospital and I paid the driver and told him he didn’t have to wait for me. He thanked me, noticed I didn’t ask for change back, and thanked me again as he drove away. I was already at the receptionist’s desk before the taxi had left the drop-off area.
********
“Sir?” asked the nurse.
My mind snapped to attention and I looked at the woman standing behind the desk.
“Sir, I asked you for the patient’s name?” I didn’t want to say it, feeling that if I didn’t say her name I could undo what had happened to her. But I knew this wasn’t possible and so I did, and the exhalation of breath felt like my last time ever in life.
“Okay. Are you family or friend?”
My voice caught for a moment but I got it out, “I’m a family friend.”
“Okay, her son is with her now but you may go up.” She gave me her room number and a visitor’s ID.
“Thank you,” I said. It was all I could say before I ran down the hall. I didn’t want to waste a second so I skirted past the elevators and ran up three flights of stairs to the Intensive Care Unit.
Reaching the third floor I turned left and avoided all manner of hospital equipment, gurneys, and empty hospital beds. I entered another hallway and almost cursed in frustration until I saw her room was the second to the last. I slowed my pace as I reached it, hoping beyond all hope that this was just some terrible misunderstanding, but my hope was dashed. The name, “Salli Carnham,” was handwritten on a piece of paper inserted into a slot next to the door.
I looked through the slitted blinds of the window and saw Billy sitting on a chair facing his mother. He had fallen asleep while holding his mother’s hand, and from the streaks on his face he had been crying. Using my powers I suppressed the sounds I was making, opened the door, and walked to the foot of the bed. With the sound suppression meme on, I took her chart and read through it.
“5 gunshot wounds to the abdomen…”
“Right lung collapsed. Reinflated...”
“Liver punctured…”
“Bullet damaged multiple internal organs…”
“Massive loss of blood…”
“Critical condition…”
“Critical condition…” I still didn’t want to believe it.
I noticed movement. Salli stirred and her eyelids fluttered a few times before she managed to open them. I could see the haze in her eyes; she was still groggy with the stuff the hospital was giving her. I placed the chart back on the foot of the bed and walked over to Salli’s side. She looked over at me and though I barely saw the smile on her lips because of the breathing apparatus, I was able to see it in her eyes. It was somehow more dazzling than I had ever seen it. With my right hand I took hold of hers. I felt a soft squeeze of her fingers and I squeezed harder.
I took a chance then. “Hi, Salli.”
Despite her grogginess I saw her eyes widen. I wasn’t communicating with my lips but with my mind.
“It’s okay. You’re not imagining it. Just think about what you want to say,” I said.
I felt Salli’s thoughts struggle past the pain and the drugs. “Richard?” she said. Her mind was connected with mine.
I smiled. “Yes. There, you got it.”
“How?”
I winked at her. “Magic.” With her thoughts she voiced what sounded like a scoff of a laugh.
“God, this is unreal.”
“That’s what I thought at first, until I realized it was something that was a part of me all along. I’m sorry if it frightens you.”
Her head shook slightly in disagreement. “No, it doesn’t. Here, come closer.”
I knelt down to her side, as if genuflecting. She then let go of my hand and caressed my cheek. She struggled as she did, and it both warmed and broke my heart to see how much effort it took her to do such a small thing as that.
She said, “I had a feeling about you. I knew, somehow, you were different. I just knew you were special, Richard.” A single tear fell from my eye and wet the hand that was touching my face.
I said, “Darrius. My name is Darrius.”
Again she slowly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. You’re still you. You’re still special. Special to me.”
More tears came and I did nothing to stop them. “And you, to me.” With both my hands I gently grasped her free hand and put it to my lips and kissed it. It felt so warm, so different from the coldness that enveloped the outside world. So different from the helplessness, frustration, and rage I felt broiling in my heart. We stayed like that for a long while, not saying anything to one another. Neither one of us wanted to do anything to waste what little time was left to the both of us.
Salli broke the silence. “Hey, Richard.”
“Yeah?”
“You think…”
“What is it?”
“You think, if you didn’t have to go away, that we could have ever been? Would you have stayed with me? Could we have been together?”
I nodded and this time I spoke aloud, “I know…” It took everything I had to hold back the sob that was trying to fight its way out of me. “I know that somewhere, in some other world, and in some other time, you and I are together. I know that you and I are on a lush hill with no snow, in a field of everlasting green. On that hill Billy is there, taking a nap, tired from having swam in the nearby lake. You and I are lying next to each other locked in an embrace with no obstacles or barriers to keep us apart. We are on a world in which it is always summer. And there you and I are together, always and for all time…”
With all my imagination, heart, mind, and being I projected this image and showed it to her. She smelled the grass, the summer wind, and the summer sun. She felt my arms around her and my chin on her shoulder as we looked over the gorgeous expanse of green earth. She looked over to see Billy sleeping, his mouth open as he gently snored the day away. In this vision of a perfect world she turned to smile at me and kiss me.
In the real world, with all of its cruelty and injustice, I saw a tear fall down her face and she squeezed my hand once more with a strength that was immeasurable but draining away from her little by little. I felt her heartbeat begin to rise.
“Thank you, Richard,” said Salli.
I nodded.
I saw Billy stirring across from me and I slowly stood up, still holding her hand. br />
“Wait,” said Salli’s voice in my mind.
I smiled; the worlds know where I got the strength to. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Billy raised his head and wiped the sleep from his eyes. When he saw me his eyes widened a little but there was nothing there except the sadness and concern he had for his mother, whose light had begun to fade away. He looked over at her, tears welling in his eyes as he clenched harder onto the hand he never let go.
I saw her smile behind the mask. She turned her head to me and spoke again with her thoughts, “Please, let me talk to Billy. This one last time. Can you do that for me?”
For me to show off my abilities to one person was a serious offense, but for me to use it in front of two people was reprehensible. But I didn’t care. If I could’ve used my power to heal Salli I would’ve done it in a heartbeat and the consequences be damned. Let Central do what they will to me! But I couldn’t. The advanced healing factor Shifters have is indeed powerful but it couldn’t be transferred over to or used on another person, let alone one who didn’t have any psychic abilities at all.
Speaking to Salli with my mind I agreed to her request. What I did was allow Salli to piggyback on my telepathic powers to speak to Billy and at the same time trick him into thinking she was speaking to him physically instead of mentally. I didn’t want to have to lie to Billy in this way and at this time but it was the only way not to display my powers out in the open. So I concentrated a bit harder and performed the task.
“Hi, baby,” said Salli.
“Mom?” said Billy, his voice quivering.
“My lovely boy. I’m going to see your dad soon.”
“Mommy...” His tears began falling onto the hospital bed.
“I’ll tell him how big you’ve gotten. That you have made me proud. That you have made your dad proud.”
“Mommy…”
“I’ll always love you, William. And I’ll always be looking after you. Me and your dad, we will always be looking after you.”
“Mommy, no!” pleaded Billy.
“Be happy, son. You deserve to be happy. Call your uncle Derrick. He’ll take care of you, I know he will. You can find his name in my phonebook…”