translating it?
LANA
Totes do! I figured some extra precautions were necessary after hearing about everything you’ve been through so far. As for the translating, all we had left to do was get this legal business out of the way before heading over to pick up the Heart of Aphrodite. I wanted to surprise you but Duke getting stabbed works too.
WILT
That’s fantastic! Let’s go and finally end this nightmare!
EXT. – OBLEX’S STUDY – MIDDAY
(Cut to a shot showing the front of Oblex’s study surrounded by police cars and with caution tape preventing Duke, Wilt, and Lana from entering. All three have their backs to the camera while they look over the scene in front of them.)
DUKE
Well shit.
INT. – ANTIQUE SHOP – AFTERNOON
(Scene opens on a one shot of Venom looking over a shelf in an antique shop and wearing a new souvenir jacket. She picks up a small statue of a naked man and looks it over. Cut to a medium shot of Venom and the store clerk who is standing behind the checkout counter.)
STORE CLERK
Can I help you with anything?
VENOM
I can’t decide if this is tacky or my new paperweight.
STORE CLERK
Well just give me a holler if you’re buy’n. (Pause) So are you in town for the Festival of Love? It’s only a couple of days away.
VENOM
(Disinterested) Yeah. I’ve just been killing time since I got here.
STORE CLERK
Well you can always try out the island’s waterpark. You know they just got a new roller coaster? The Rabid Monsoon!
VENOM
Give me a break. I get wetter at a strip club than I got on that lousy ride.
STORE CLERK
(Awkward) Oh. I’ll just leave you to it then.
(A store bell chimes. Cut to a full shot of the store as Duke and Lana enter and approach Venom. Cut to a shot of Duke, Lana, and Venom.)
VENOM
‘Ey guys. You really need to try some of the tourist attractions they ‘ave set up ‘ere.
LANA
We’ve been a little preoccupied lately. For some reason the police are standing guard outside our house. (Accusatory) I don’t suppose you’d know anything about that?
VENOM
Um… Think fast!
(Venom underhand tosses the statue at Lana then dashes for the exit. Lana catches the statue and Duke covers his face making it easy for Venom to escape. Cut to outside the antique shop entrance where Wilt is standing guard. Venom runs out of the entrance and Wilt catches her. Venom slips out of her jacket and continues past Wilt leaving him confused and holding the empty jacket. Lana comes running out of the exit with Duke limping behind.)
DUKE
Damn it Wilt! You had one job!
(Wilt drops the jacket. Duke, Wilt, and Lana all run off-screen.)
EXT. – DOWNTOWN LÁGNOS – AFTERNOON
(Cut to a tracking shot of Venom running down a street in downtown Lágnos. Cut to a full shot as Wilt and Lana round the corner with Duke hobbling closely behind. Cut back to the tracking shot as Venom runs past a shopkeeper sweeping the front steps of his shop. Venom snatches the broom out of his hands. Cut to a shot of a chain-link fence. Venom uses the broom to pole-vault over it and lands on her feet on the other side. Cut to a shot of Duke, Wilt, and Lana.)
WILT
Are you serious!?!
(Duke gets angry and runs ahead of the others causing his leg wound to bleed slightly. Cut back to the fence. Duke runs and attempts to jump over it. He makes it most of the way but his belt gets caught on top of the fence causing Duke to flip over the side and get stuck upside down. Duke slides partway out of his pants leaving Venom’s panties exposed. Cut to a shot showing both sides of the fence as Venom stands triumphantly in front of Duke. Wilt and Lana catch up and stand on the other side of the fence.)
VENOM
Pink lace looks good on you. Very tasteful.
DUKE
I am hereby putting you under a citizen’s arrest!
VENOM
You’re not a citizen ‘ere. Besides, whatever you found at the ‘ouse wasn’t mine. I was just… ‘olding it for a friend.
WILT
We still need to turn you in if we want to get inside it anytime soon. We have something very, very important there.
VENOM
Whoa! Slow down there. If the fuzz finds out for sure that any drugs were there it could be months before they clear out. ‘Owever if they catch another lead then they’ll leave you alone.
DUKE
What are you suggesting?
VENOM
You got a mobile on you?
(Duke reaches up into his pocket and pulls out his cellphone then hands it to Venom. Venom dials a number into the phone then speaks into it with a proper British accent.)
VENOM
(Clears throat.) Hello, dear. Would you be kind enough to connect me with a police officer? I’d like to leave an anonymous tip. (Pause) Yes, that sounds lovely. (Pause) Right then. There’s a bag of some unethical substance buried just beneath the sand under the boardwalk. It’s none of my business of course but I think it’s been going around. (Pause) That’s right. Near that run-down looking restaurant. (Pause) Right, off you go then. Ta Ta.
(Venom hangs up, throws the phone on the ground, and stomps on it. She returns to her normal speaking voice.)
DUKE
What’d you do that for!
VENOM
You don’t want the government spying on you all the time do you? Anyway, just give em a couple of ‘ours and then your ‘ouse should be clear. Meanwhile, poor ol’ Venom is out a grand. Now, do we still feel the need to arrest the Beddable British Babe?
DUKE
We’re good. But can somebody help me down now?
INT. – DISCIPLE’S LAIR – AFTERNOON
(Scene opens on a close-up of a table as the stone map is dropped unceremoniously on top of it. Zoom out to show Jasmine sitting and the Mistress standing at the table.)
JASMINE
Is that what I think it is?
MISTRESS
(Smirks) Are you ready to save the world?
(Fade to black.)
INT. – OBLEX’S STUDY – NIGHT
(Scene opens with a full shot of Duke, Wilt, Lana, and Venom all standing in the living room. Lana is placing her newly purchased naked man statue on the coffee table.)
WILT
Thank god everything is still here.
DUKE
So Venom, are you going to be staying here another night?
(There is a knock on the door.)
VENOM
Oh… about that. I’ve actually met somebody else. That’s probably ‘im at the door.
(Venom opens the door and a man wearing all black and dyed hair steps inside. The man puts his arm around Venom.)
SAGE
Hi. My name is Sage.
VENOM
Well it’s been fun but we should be going now. Thanks for setting us up by the way Lana!
LANA
No problem. Stop by any time!
(Sage and Venom exit. Duke continues to gaze at the door looking disappointed.)
DUKE
(Sigh) At least we totally had sex.
LANA
(Snickering) That’s not what she told me.
DUKE
So what? Are you two besties now or something?
(Lana shrugs and goes back to her books. Duke sits on the couch and rubs his head in frustration.)
DUKE
Bloody ‘Ell
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