Moondagger

  # # #

  With the aid of the police and the news outlets, a story was concocted about a French billionaire making a stop in New Tao. He would be bringing with him the rare and valuable Brûler Sapphire to be auctioned off by the Diamond Club before he continued on his travels.

  Jeremy Llygredd, the newly elected Mayor of New Tao, was ready to greet the billionaire at the airport. He was a large man, an imposing figure for an imposing city. His salt-and-pepper hair and few aging lines belied the energy and vigor of his nature.

  He seemed a bit nervous, until he actually saw the billionaire. He was a little shorter than the mayor. He wore a beret of the French flag and had a small goatee. Dark shades hid his eyes. With him were two bodyguards. One was a short woman with blazing red hair cut short. The other was a man the same height as the billionaire, but with spiky black hair. They both wore dark glasses as well and black tuxedos.

  "Bonjour, bonjour," the billionaire greeted. "Je suis un beignet de gelée. Ne les hommes portent des culottes idiot ici? J'espère que personne ne vole mon pantalon."

  "Um...welcome. Welcome to our fair city," Mayor Llygredd greeted, hoping that the billionaire understood English. "I am Mayor Jeremy Llygredd."

  "I didn't vote for vous," the billionaire said. The redhead leaned forward and whispered in his ear. He nodded. "Ah, oui. My bodyguard, she tellz me I did not have to vote for vous."

  The Mayor chuckled nervously. "It's quiet alright. I hope you would have if you did live here."

  "Where are my manners," the billionaire asked. He held his arms out and clasped them around the Mayor's face, kissing him on each cheek. "I am so hap-py to be here in your great zity." The spiky-haired bodyguard groaned.

  "Is he going to be okay," he asked, pointing at the spiky-haired bodyguard.

  The billionaire looked over at him. "Ah, oui. He just had too much escargot." He turned back to the mayor. "He can't get e-nough of ze stuff."

  "One of your bodyguards is a woman," the Mayor asked.

  "Ah, oui. She is ze most dangerous woman in France," he replied. "She once ripped a man's bitte off with a baguette."

  The mayor's eyes grew wide. "I don't know what that is, but it sounds painful." He started to escort the billionaire and his bodyguards out of the airport. "I can't say how proud I ma that you chose New Tao as the city to auction off the Brûler Sapphire. I've never heard of it before, but it sounds valuable."

  "It is...Je ne sais pas? Vis-à-vis? Seins et le cul?" The billionaire shook his head. "Most thingz vous have never heard of are valuable, oui?"

  Mayor Llygredd nodded solemnly "You do have a point there," he agreed. They came upon the stretch limo that sat out in front of the airport. Various news outlets and tabloids swarmed the path between the sliding glass doors and the limo. The billionaire's bodyguards quickly jumped in front of him and started pushing reporters aside as they dragged him into the limo. They threw him in and quickly dove in after him, slamming the door behind them.

  "Congratulations," Jill commented as the limo pulled off. "You just set relations between New Tao and France back about a century."

  "Eh," Deadguy replied. "We'll just send him a fruit basket with a note saying 'Sorry We Duped You'."

  "I didn't mean on the city's end," she stated.

  "What? You think France is going to declare war on us?"

  Valkadaidan chuckled. "I can see the headlines now. 'Deadguy Starts World War Three'," he said.

  "I'm not starting any wars with any countries," DG defended. "at least not yet." He leaned back, his hands behind his head. "Alright, Phase One's complete. What's next?"

  Jill pulled out her phone. "Phase Two involves you checking in to the Room 527 at the McGann Hotel. It's one of the Presidential Suites, so it will give us plenty of room in case a fight breaks out..."

  "Which usually happens around me," Deadguy remarked.

  "...the police and Interpol are set to surround the building," Jill continued, ignoring him. "once any sort of unrecognized movement is detected."

  "So now we play the waiting game," he commented. "Can I at least order room service?"

  Day turned to night without any action. Around midnight, the Moondagger thief snuck into the hotel suite as Deadguy slept. The thief quietly crept past him to the briefcase sitting on the dresser. Checking it for any traps, there was the sudden sound of rustling sheets. The thief turned to find Deadguy wide awake, leaping towards the clan member. The thief pushed a button on an arm gauntlet and the suit begin to crawl with electricity. Our Hero latched on, getting electrocuted in the process. He fell with a thud.

  The thief turned back to the briefcase, snatching it up and heading back towards the window. A spotlight suddenly hit the thief's exit. "I wouldn't try anything if I were you," Jill's voice taunted through a megaphone. "We've got the place surrounded."

  "Well, first you have to get out of this room," DG remarked, standing back up. "Then you've got the police, the other Professional Heroes, and Interpol to deal with. There's a Valkadaidan involved somewhere in there."

  The thief grabbed a few pellets off the belt and threw them on the ground. The room quickly filled up with smoke. Deadguy felt someone rush past him, and quickly followed. "Get back here," he yelled. "We haven't done the fight scene yet." Our Hero followed the thief into the spacious living room, where he narrowly dodged a lamp being thrown at him. It shattered on the wall. "This is why we can't have nice things," he quipped.

  The thief started running for the door. Deadguy leapt over the couch and managed to land a flying tackle. Both combatants fell to the floor. The thief shot out a knife from under the glove and stabbed him in the torso. He knocked the hand away and pinned both arms down. "You going to cooperate," he asked. The thief responded by kneeing him in the groin. "Take that as a no," he said, his voice taking on a higher pitch. He rolled off the thief, trying to tune out the pain.

  Deadguy staggered to stand up. "Wait a minute," he exclaimed, plucking the knife out. The thief paused. "You're not the same person I ran into a few nights back."

  The thief straightened up. It was then that Our Hero realized that not only was this person shorter than the last, but also had a more feminine shape.

  "Deadguy," Jill's voice called out from down the hall. He glanced over to the doors, then back to the thief. She pulled out more pellets.

  "No no. Don't," he said. "That stuff can't be good for the lungs."

  She threw them down hard, causing more clouds of smoke to fill the room. Our Hero coughed a few times and felt around for anything solid. Blindly, he found a doorknob and turned it.

  "Hands where we can..." someone yelled, then stopped abruptly.

  "Hold you fire," DG said. "It's just me." He couldn't see much, but he heard chuckling.

  "Deadguy," Jill asked. "Where are your pants?"

  He blinked the last of the smoke out of his eyes and looked down. He had his shirt and boots, and his red polka-dotted boxers on. "At least she left my undies," he commented.

  Jill and Valkadaidan were sitting in the less-than-clean apartment of Deadguy. It wasn't a complete mess, but it could do with a bit of housekeeping. Valk plopped onto the couch, causing it to creak a little. "Don't break my couch," DG called out from his bedroom down the hall.

  "What happened in the hotel," Jill asked, sitting next to Valk.

  "That Moondagger thief, which apparently there's two of now," he explained. "stole the briefcase and my pants. Why she stole my pants, I couldn't say."

  "What do you mean there's two of them," Jill asked

  Deadguy walked out of his bedroom, a fresh pair of pants on. "Exactly what it sounds like," he answered, plopping down into his recliner. "Two. As in more than one. The guy I caught up with at the party wasn't even the same gender as the one trying to steal the briefcase."

  "Are you sure," Valk asked.

  Our Her glared at him. "I'm pretty sure I can tell a guy from a girl. Besides, you said that Moondagger was a clan. Pretty sure you need more than o
ne person to be a clan."

  "But she took the bait, right," Jill questioned.

  "Yep," he replied. "Held on to the case for dear life."

  "I guess the only question now is, did our trap really work," their boss asked.