The Excess Road
Chapter Twenty-eight: Sometimes it is better to hold it
The conversations turned to gossip and rumor. We drank and held our cigarettes aloft. George forged an alliance with the keg master and the beers flowed right into my bloating bladder. Through the rows of tipsy students, I forged ahead to the bathroom. There was a line around the corner into the kitchen so I headed out.
A stillness and silence met me outside.
Someone was burning dry leaves and pine brush. My kidneys pinged with pain as I followed the hedges to the end of the yard. I hopped the chain link fence and my feet kicked up dust on the dirt access road between the houses. There was some trouble getting started but the back pressure released and the vegetation got soaked.
A rustling in the bushes betrayed the presence of something not human. I turned to crunching footsteps. Yellow eyes gleamed on the dark edge of the dirt road. A black dog stepped into a blade of light and ran at me. I bolted.
“Stop where you are!” deflected down the dirt road.
Remembering the story about underage daughters and shotguns, I flipped back in my pants and fled down the road. A beam of light struck at my feet.
“Stop where you are… This is the Police.”
I stopped dead.
The black dog barked and circled. I put my hands up and cold spikes shot to my feet. A cop waddled into sight.
“You shouldn’t a run boy!” he said over the barking.
“I was just going to give ya a written warning but you took off, let’s see what yur up ta. Wee-ooo boy! You smell like a brewery. How old are you?”
“E,E,E, Eighteen,” I spit.
The pudgy cop motioned for me to approach. I tripped to the rocky road. On all fours I looked up to see the dog baring its fangs.
“Back up Jenny,” he said and the dog trotted to its master.
“Hey, hey, kid, intoxicated in public and under age. I’m forced to take ya in kid. Heal, stay Jenny, good dog. Get up slow.”
The wet spot became visible as I stood up. Dirty hands went behind my back.
Click click.
Tim came running down the yard.
“What is happening here?” Tim asked over the hedges and the officer turned and said, “I’m taking yur friend here fur a ride, so I suggest ya mind your own business boy.”
Tim looked at me like I was going to be sent to a prison labor camp.
“Tim, come bail me out in a couple hours. I will pay you back,” I said and Tim looked at me wide eyed but didn’t say anything.
The stout officer spat and said, “Ya can come get yur friend in about three hours. That’s when he’ll be done being processing. Could be a nifty amount of money, so I suggest you call his mommy.”
He led me around the side of the party house so everyone could see and then down a block to where his car was parked. He gave me a breathalyzer.
I failed.
I was cuffed and stuffed.
The dog stared back at from the front seat through the divider. We pulled into lot behind the police station and he put the dog away in the kennel. I lead the parade of two around to the front of the three story brick station. We waited to be buzzed in by the sleepy clerk.
“This is where yur going boy and I hope I never see yur college boy face a-gee-an,” he said.
The cop pushed me to the wooden bench and clipped me to a metal loop fastened to the wall covered in what looked to be snot and spit.
I waited for the process of prints, shots, and oddly a questionnaire. The down a corridor of individual cells, I was led to the Drunk-Tank. The holding officer walked me down and said, “Least you have a buddy here.”
I looked and saw Kevin hunched over on a bench that lined the back of the tank. I counted ten townies some were on the bench and the rest were curled up on the floor. A man puked into the metal toilet below a barred window. The enclosure smelled like a locker room and rancid beer. A jangle of keys opened the door.
A jackal was thrown to lions.
A cowboy, complete with hat and boot, leaned against the wall and snuffed out a cigarette with his heel. I sat next to Kevin at the end of the bench.
“They must have a thing against college students tonight. I am Joaquin. I kind of met you earlier tonight,” I said and he looked at me with one open eye.
“These fucking hillbilly cops suck ass man! I just yelled a little,” he gasped, cleared his lungs, and continued, “I remember you. I’ve seen you before.”
Kevin gargled a few spit bubbles. A leather-faced man scoped me.
Kevin slurred something and rocked back and forth. The cowboy slid down the wall and closed his eyes. Most of the townies were asleep. For the first time, I was the sober guy. Nothing I could do but keep my guard up.
My hair draped over and hid my eyes as I leaned forward. My hands on my knees were ready to throw a punch.
“Trudy,” a man wept as he launched at the toilet as vomit gushed.
Kevin titled his head and said, “Mannzz, I hope uuuuhhhh zum body come and get us. I wanna go daaa seep.”
He leaned on me with his fat shoulder. His breath was heavy and he was either was drinking hard liquor or battery acid.
I wanted a drink.
Kevin slumped closer to the ground so I propped him back on the graffiti covered wall and above his head read Jesus Saves. The toilet rang with puke as the man whimpered, “Trudy.”
The scent of salty bile, acrid and slow, saturated the tank.
A chorus of snores and coughs rattled the bars. There were only two people awake, me and the leather-faced man. A realization slapped me in the face. Tim should have come. I told him I would pay him back. A frightening thought materialized.
They didn’t have enough money.
I would have to call the school.
The leather-faced man rubbed his mutton chops and spat chewing tobacco juice in the toilet. He pat his clay covered jeans while as he sat down. He looked over and bit down. The muscles in his jaw flexed. He rolled his fingers into a fist. I closed my eyes and heard a loud wad spit land in the can.
“Hey, college boy what you in for? Fighting or did you get caught with something?” he asked.
I was too afraid not to tell the truth.
“I was at a party and the bathroom was full so I went outside to piss. A dog came at me so I ran. Then some guy yelled so I took off down the street. He said he was a cop, so I stopped. Uh… public intoxication and public urination,” I said.
He slapped his knee and bubbled up with laughter.
“That’s funny. It was Charlie K-9 who got you. Sure is a fat piece of shit. That asshole busted me when I was a kid for having beers in my car. I tell you, you must have had him steaming making him run and all. Damn funny,” he said.
“He said because I ran he brought here,” I said.
“Yup, he’ll do that. Some of these pigs don’t like you kids but I like you. You made me laugh,” he said and inhaled loudly through his nose.
“So why you here? Fighting or something?” I asked and rotated my head toward him as my hair fell across my face.
He turned and gave me a cold stare.
“I’m here because I’m an idiot. I let a woman piss me off and that led to drinking and that led to fightin. I left the scene and was pulled over and arrested for assault, drinking, uh no, driving under the influence, having an unregistered gun, reckless driving and not having insurance. I have priors so I’m looking at time. Sure strange they put me in here with y’all.”
“Sucks.”
“Yup,” he said and hacked a spit into the toilet.
He lit up a cigarette. My whole body ached for a drag. He saw that I was having a Pavlovian response and asked, “You want one fella?”
“Please,” I said and went over to get one.
“By the way my name is Joaquin, what is yours?” I asked.
“My name is Brad. Joaquin, what’s that Spanish?” he asked as I started back to my seat and I replied, “Something like that I think, it is originally He
brew. From the Bible. A lot of Hispanics have the name,” I said.
“So you’re a Jew?” he said and an eyebrow lowered.
“No, I am not Jewish it is just a biblical name like Mary or Joseph,” I said.
“Oh, oh well, I never met a Jew around here before but I met some nice fellers in D.C once. I thought this might be the first time around here.”
“Sorry, not a Jew. Thanks for the smoke Brad,” I said.
“You’re welcome.”
Before I could finish my smoke an officer came into the hall and called out Brad’s name. He got up and waved a peace sign at me and he was handcuffed right in front of the cell bars. He was being transferred. The symphony of snores resounded through the corridors. I just hoped no one would wake up.
My buzz had worn off and I was feeling the drags of sleep. A cop in plain clothes came to the tank and started banging on the bars to wake us up, everyone up but the guy who curled up on the floor after calling out for Trudy. The cop called out to him.
He didn’t move.
The cop entered the cell and kicked him. No response. The cop checked his pulse and shouted “Holy Shit!” and yelled for assistance. Two officers came rushing in and started compressing his chest while the other gave mouth to mouth. Another officer came in and watched their backs and guarded the cell door. He was pulled out into the hall and in a few minutes the EMT’s were there.
After the excitement a cop escorted all but one townie out of the tank. Ten minutes or so later, they called Kevin and he blobbed away. An hour later the last guy was released. The sun peeked through the barred window and I was given a peanut butter sandwich, no jelly, and a soda. I wanted a smoke. It was too early to call the school so I brushed the bench off, went flat on my back and counted mold spots on the ceiling. My eyes began to close and I was told I was bonded out.
I looked though the plexi-glass partition to see who bailed me out. I expected a Dean or a school official. There stood Erin and Elyssa. The clerk hit the buzzer and told me to push the door.
I was free.
The girls hugged me as I stepped out. They smelled like soap. I asked Erin, “What time is it?” It was ten minutes to nine.
“Thanks so much. How come you two got me out? What happened to Tim and George? I expected the Dean of Students or somebody since no one got me last night,” I said and looked behind me and the clerk behind the partition shook his head.
“I would have come last night if somebody told me but idiot didn’t tell me until an hour ago,” Erin said.
Elyssa put her warm arm around me. Her pink cotton sweater was soft on the back of my neck.
We walked down two hilly blocks to the car as each girl chomped on gum filled lollipops. Low and behold, who should be cowering in the back seat of Erin’s car but Tim. I wanted to pull him out of the car and beat him into a stain but he might have a good reason. Before we reached the car, I asked for a smoke and lit it up.
The sun poured on my face and washed away the anger spinning in my head. Elyssa got into the back and Erin got in the driver’s seat. As I sat down, Tim tried to speak, but I put my hand up and said, “Do not bother.”
Elyssa began to rub my shoulders form the back seat. The window hummed down as I pushed the button and I ashed the cigarette.
“I did not have the money man. That’s why I didn’t get you last night,” Tim said.
“It could not have been that much. You have tons of cash from…well…your parents. I figured you would tell George and at least he would come get me,” I said.
“I told him. He said let you stay,” Tim said.
At the dorm, I wrote a check to Erin. The girls hugged me and were off into the bright embrace of late autumn. I closed my door.
I couldn’t feel anything.