SHIVER: 13 Sexy Tales of Humor and Horror

  “Ma’am,” the officer spoke, breaking through the silence and my imagination of what he was packing. He bent down toward me, but I had trouble seeing him fully through the wisps of hair covering my face. “Can I see your license and registration please?”

  “My car has broken down. I hope that’s not against the law.” I replied sarcastically while turning to reach for my purse and getting a quick view of myself in the rear view mirror.

  “No ma’am. Just a routine request for identification.” I swear the baritone sound of his voice caressed something that had been without male friction for months.

  My hair was a mess and I resembled a deranged woman more than a pretty young twenty-five year old. Also, Tommie had decided to start protesting his imprisonment again. I giggled realizing I fit the definition of a crazy cat lady and wasn’t even thirty yet.

  Fuck my life.

  Rummaging through my purse I pulled out my wallet and handed over my license to the officer. “Hold on let me find my registration.”

  Before I moved across the seat to get to the glove compartment, the officer stopped me. “Patricia Hopkins? Patty Cake, is that you?” he asked through a laugh. “It’s Thomas Brooks. Mel’s brother.”

  Holy shit, I knew who it was the second I heard him say Patty Cakes. Just hearing him say it made me feel fourteen again, because he wasn’t just my best friend’s brother, but my life long crush and the hotter than hot guy I’d pined for.

  And of course I would be looking like a hot mess. I sighed realizing that my luck hadn’t changed. Not to mention he had dredged up the cringe worthy nickname.

  Welcome home.

  Chapter 2

  “Hi, Thomas,” I groaned in embarrassment while pulling out my hair tie and running my fingers through the tangled ends.

  “Yes, it’s me Patricia, but I go by Trish now.” I muttered the second part glancing one last time into the rearview mirror and hoping I wouldn’t frighten him.

  I yanked the door open and stepped onto the pavement. As I stood up in front of Thomas, I reached the height of his shiny badge and looked up into his steely black eyes.

  Boom.

  Even in the moonlit night I saw his smirky smile showing just a hint of the boyhood dimple I had loved. But there was nothing boy about him now. Nope. He radiated hot alpha male, decked out in his perfect fitting police uniform.

  I licked my lips, and a dirty thought went through my sex-starved mind as I wondered where he kept his handcuffs, or if he might like to use his stun gun on me. I was close to holding out my wrists in surrender.

  “I would’ve never guessed it was you.” Thomas scanned up and downed my body. The effect his eyes had on me only added to my already heightened state of alert. “You’ve changed.” The smirk was now a full blow knee-weakening smile, and I was glad to be leaning against the car door.

  He seemed to like what he saw and then I remembered my tragic hair or rat’s nest. Darn kitten.

  “Yes, it’s the hair. I’m trying out a new do. I’m calling it, Confined Cat Curls.” I lowered my head and giggled.

  “Well, your hair is a little wild. But…wow. You look great. Nothing like the Patty Cake I once knew.”

  I looked down at the pavement and smiled after his compliment. I didn’t mind Patty Cake too much. It was the other nickname I hated. The ugly one I’d worn in shame during my school days. Fatty Patty.

  Well, I sure didn’t fit that description anymore, if Thomas’ continued glances at my boobs were any indication.

  When I headed to Boston for college, I changed my entire lifestyle. Instead of gaining the freshman fifteen, I lost fifty pounds and tightened up my curves. My entire life transformed from being a wallflower to getting unsolicited attention from boys who never gave me a second glance before.

  “Thanks for noticing.” I leaned against the car with my hands behind my back. The new angle let me take in the entire view of Thomas, and damn it was a view. It was my turn to peruse, and I think he liked the new position of my boobs too. All win.

  “You’ve changed too.” I paused and decided if my hair didn’t freak him out, I might as well go for the gold. “Nicely.”

  Thomas stood a little taller. “Gotta stay in shape with all the criminals I have to chase around here.”

  I laughed knowing the worst criminals in town where the jaywalkers. “It has to be a rough job. Like now. Helping damsels with car trouble.”

  “Not just any damsel.” Thomas lowered his voice and moved closer to me and I sunk down lower against the curve of the car door. “I specialize in helping lost girls find their way home.”

  A shiver ran down my spine even though the night was unseasonably warm. “Is that so?”

  “So I’ve been told.” Thomas inched toward me. He was so near I could smell his cologne. A nice mix of a spice and woodsy scent. My senses started to distract me, but Tommie wouldn’t be ignored and decided to let his presence be known.

  “Meow,” Tommie cried out in neglected misery.

  “That would be my cat,” I explained while tilting my head toward the car’s interior. “He’s had a rough ride locked in his little carrier for over eight hours.”

  “I bet. What’s his name?” Thomas inquired as he peered into the car to see a black kitten staring at him.

  “Tommie,” I spoke in a hush knowing the name was also Thomas’ old nickname. I held my head down to avoid his eyes.

  “Tommie?” He scoffed. “Should I be flattered?”

  “You wish.” It was my turn to mock him. “His official name is Tomcat.” I lied to save my ass. It seemed easier than saying I saw the cat and thought of your black as night hair, so I named him Tommie.

  “Sure,” Thomas replied as he raised a brow at me and stared me down for a few long seconds, maybe wondering if he could spot my fib.

  “So you said your car’s broken down.”

  “No, I like pulling over to the side of the road and having a cat claw my hair into a rat’s nest.”

  “I see you brought back a little of New York City with you.” Now Thomas had both brows raised at me. But I didn’t miss the fact that he knew I’d been in New York City. My heart might have leapt a little at the thought.

  “Sorry, I’m a little fried.”

  “It’s okay. I get it.” Thomas reached out and rubbed my arm, which made me forget what we were talking about.

  “Huh?” I asked, still numb.

  “The car, driving all day. And why you’re back in town.” He likely knew everything since secrets were hard to contain in a small town like Marietta. I’m still amazed at my aunt for hiding her Demi Duke side for all those years.

  “It’s not where I thought I’d be a couple months ago,” I confessed. “But I’m here.”

  “Let’s call you a tow.” Thomas stood tall and pulled out his radio. He pressed a few buttons and put it up to his ear. “Hey, I’m with a stranded driver and need you to dispatch a wrecker.”

  I watched Thomas as he listened to the response and nodded his head, seeming so in charge of my problem. I continued to take in this hot alpha man, and enjoyed the view of what looked like grapefruits packed away under his shirtsleeves. The man must work out three hours a day or combine it with other extracurricular activities, perhaps those of a sexual nature. Wonder if he’s looking for a new workout partner? I mentally raised both hands and stifled a laugh.

  “Yes, I’m still at the same stop where I last radioed in.” Thomas glanced over my car. “It’s a late model Ford Focus. Black with its lights flashing. I’ll stay here with the vehicle until the truck arrives. Barring another dispatch.”

  Thomas ended the call and put his phone away. “Okay, the tow truck should be here in a few minutes. Any ideas how we can pass the time?”

  He twitches his brows and winks.

  Oh boy.

  I can’t seem to find a quick, clean answer to that question.

  Chapter 3

  “Well, I’d rather not get back in the car and wait. I’ve been
in it all day.” I crossed my arms over my chest and eyed Thomas. I might have pushed my boobs together a bit to enhance my cleavage. I wanted to make a point… or two.

  “How about we sit on the hood of your car and catch up.” He reached around me and opened the car door. I scooted out of the way as Thomas retrieved Tommie’s carrier.

  “Can’t have him all by his lonesome. Us Tommie’s need to stick together.”

  Thomas seemed to be ribbing me about naming the cat after him, though I’d never admit it out loud. Instead I kept my mouth closed and followed him around to the front of my car.

  “Sit here.” Thomas patted the hood of the car and I eased myself up onto the metal. Years ago I would’ve dented the damn thing, but today there wasn’t even a give as I sat on it.

  Careful not to scratch the car, Thomas placed Tommie next to me and the cat appeared to be sleeping for now. “The engine is still warm.” I said after feeling the engine’s heat against my butt.

  “The night is warm too. It’s felt like Indian summer for the last week.” Thomas turned to lean his backside against the front of the car. His long legs were hardly an inch away from mine. His invasion of my personal space felt deliciously inappropriate considering we hadn’t seen each other in eight years. “Anyway, I’m sorry about your aunt. I always liked her. Kind of kept to herself though.”

  “Thanks.” I peered up at the bright moon shining down. “She kept a lot of things to herself apparently. None of us knew about her writing. I remember visiting her house and seeing her books sitting on a table. She snatched them away from me before I could touch them, saying they were too steamy.”

  “That’s what some of the women are saying around town. They’re seeing your aunt in a whole new light.”

  “Aren’t we all?” I joked back. “But it’s cool how she was able to live two lives. Some people never even live one.”

  “Very true.” Thomas moved away the car and stood to face me. He stared into my eyes with the moonlight illuminating behind him. I suddenly had trouble breathing. Maybe some rescue CPR would be in order here. He’d have to touch my lips and boobs.

  “So tell me. You go by Trish now, right?” Thomas eyed me with a cocked brow and waited for my answer.

  “Yes, I wanted a new beginning when I left Marietta, so I buried Patty somewhere along the highway as I drove to Boston for college.”

  “It appears that you were very successful with the burying part. Because your nothing like the young girl I remember.” Thomas grinned at me and placed his hand down on the hood. His body loomed above mine, and I wanted to spread my legs like a hussy. It wasn’t like we just met. I loved trying to rationalize my dirty mind. “So tell me what have you been up to for the last eight years?”

  “College, moved to New York City for my first job, lost said job, and now I’m being bribed by my late and scheming aunt to move back here.”

  “Eight years in one sentence? Sounds like you might be trying to hide a few things.” Thomas glanced down at the finger I would have a wedding ring on if I was married or engaged. A smile curved across his lips as he found it bare, and I was glad I’d pawned the ring that used to be worn on that finger to buy this damn car. “No significant other?”

  “Nope,” I clipped my answer, hoping he would drop the subject of men, boyfriends, or manwhores, which was my term for the male population in New York City under the age of forty. “Single and not looking.”

  “Well a beautiful woman like you shouldn’t have to look or be single.” Thomas raised himself to full height. “Unless she aspires to be a nun.”

  “Definitely not nun material. Mainly because I’m a Christmas and Easter Methodist, but I’m content with my life.” I wanted to say except the part where I lost my job and had to move away from the city I loved. In other words, I was lying through my teeth right now, and had no clue why. Silly pride perhaps.

  “Glad to hear about the nun part, but I’d like…” Flashing lights pulled up right beside us before Thomas could finish. Dammit. I wondered what he’d like. Hoping in secret that he might like me.

  “Let me talk to the driver while you put Tommie back inside the car.” Thomas acknowledged the tow’s arrival and held out his hand to help me off the car’s hood.

  I lifted Tommie’s carrier off the car and watched Thomas walk away. What had gotten into me? I’ve followed every order he gave me. Sit here. Confess this. Do that. Yes, everyone last one. And strangely I liked it. Very, very much.

  Chapter 4

  “I can’t believe the car was out of gas.” I shook my head in disbelief as the tow truck driver gave me the news. I wanted to blame it on the fact I’ve rarely driven a car in three years or that the gas gauge might be busted. But there was no excuse for my stupidity, as usual. Or was it ass as usual?

  “You’d be surprised how often this happen.” The tow truck driver tried to cheer me up. “I bet it’s once a day. That’s why we always carry a full can of gas with us.”

  “Well, at least the car doesn’t need repairs. Not so sure about my ability to drive one though.” I quipped under my breath as the driver put the cap back on the now empty can. “How much do I owe you?”

  “Taken care of right, Bernie?” Thomas stuffed a few bills into Bernie’s shirt pocket. His hands were so quick I wasn’t able to see how much money he’d put inside.

  Dammit, I hated owing anyone a dime, and once again Thomas was in charge. I wondered if he thought of me like a kid sister since I was Mel’s best friend. One thing for sure, I appreciated his help and the view.

  “Thanks. But I owe you.” Thomas just smiled and shook his head. It didn’t appear I’d win the argument with him either. “I’ll make a donation to the policeman’s fund in your name.”

  “How about I follow you back to your aunts? That’s where you’re staying I presume.” Thomas opened the car door for me and I slipped inside.

  “Yes, but I’ll be okay on my own.” Part of me wanted him to follow me home and tuck me into bed for the night while he slipped in next to me under the covers. Naked. “I survived living in New York City for three years and you know what they say…”

  “If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.” Thomas crooned and a sweet tingle ran over my skin.

  “Where did you learn to sing like that?” I’d never heard him sing all the times I’d hung out at their home when I was a kid. I would’ve remembered because he sung in a way no one could forget.

  “There’s more than muscle behind this badge, Patty Cake.” Thomas closed the door to my car now that I was seated behind the wheel and staring up at him in awe and lust. Mainly lust.

  “Hey. It’s Trish to you buster.” I teased him with a smile through the car’s open window.

  “Fine, Trish,” Thomas spat out my name. I would’ve preferred that he sang it.

  “Fine.” I returned with a mocking tone.

  “You’re something else, PC.” Thomas reached in and tasseled the hair on the top of my head, adding to the already messed up do.

  “What the…” But it was too late. Thomas had already headed back to his patrol car.

  After putting the car in drive, I steered out onto the road. A pair of headlights shone in my rear view mirror as Thomas followed close behind.

  When my car hit the paved driveway of Aunt Marge’s house, I noticed how dark it was without a light shining from a window. The place didn’t look like the same inviting home I remembered now being cast in darkness. I was glad to see Thomas’s patrol car stopping right behind mine.

  I had mixed emotions about going inside the house since I’d really not said farewell to Aunt Marge. She left specific instructions in her will. Since she knew her time was short, she dictated exactly how she wanted her funeral services. Basically none. A short but sweet memorial service was planned at the college she taught at for some time in mid-November. Other than that, she asked for no fanfare. And no goodbyes

  Tap. Tap. Tap.

  There was Thomas again at my windo
w while I sat daydreaming and thinking about my aunt. Walking into the lonely house couldn’t be avoided, so I took a deep breath, reached for Tommie’s carrier handle, and opened the door.

  “You okay?” Thomas asked in concern.

  “Yeah. Just thinking. Seems weird to come back here and Aunt Marge’s gone.” Thomas took the carrier from my hands as we started to make our way toward the front door.

  “When was the last time you saw her?” Thomas questioned while we walked up the Victorian’s wooden steps.

  “She came to visit me last Christmas in New York. I had no idea she was sick at all. She didn’t tell a soul.” I could almost feel my aunt’s arms from the last hug we shared. If I’d only known then…

  “Give me your keys.” Thomas ordered in a quiet but firm way. Without thinking I dug the keys out of my pocket and handed them over. I obeyed Thomas very well. I hope it earned me some brownie points.

  The door creaked open and the smell of roses hit my nose. Tears soon followed.

  “Let me get the rest of your stuff out of the car while you get settled.”

  I wiped my eyes and pushed back my hair before I turned to face Thomas. “Who knew you were such a nice guy?”

  “I have my rare moments.” Thomas walked toward me, closing the gap between us and brought his fingers up to my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

  His gentle touch swiped away any stray tears. “Thanks,” I whispered and looked up at him through watery eyes.

  He reached around my body with his strong arms and gave me a comforting hug. But as he pulled away, I thought I heard him say. “I’d rather be naughty.”

  Chapter 5

  “How did everything go at the attorney’s office today?” Mel asked as she sat across the table from me.

  We’d decided to meet for lunch at a restaurant close to the river. I’d only been back a couple days, and we hadn’t had a chance to really catch up.