Sugar Free

  And finally, for the first time in over a day, Beck touches me. He takes my upper arms in his hands and holds on to me tightly, pulling me in a little closer. His voice is the most desperate I've ever heard from a man who never begs anyone for anything. "It's the only way, Sela. Going forward with the trial is too risky."

  "Leave here forever?" I murmur, the idea not fully penetrating. My head swivels to look at my dad. "And you're okay with this? Never seeing me again?"

  "I'd rather you be living free and with someone you love than in jail, baby girl," my dad says simply. "It's the best solution."

  My head turns back to Beck. "So we run?"

  His mouth curves upward to form a tiny smile, and the last dregs of bitterness drain from his face. "I love you, Sela, and I'm not going to lose you over this. So yes...we run."

  I fall forward into Beck, my head dropping so my forehead rests in the middle of his chest. My hands come to his waist and I grip him hard. I blow out a long breath and whisper, "Then we run."

  I'm already saying my goodbyes. It's not been twelve hours since Sela and I decided to run, and I'm already trying to cram a bucket list of things I want to do with my loved ones into a few days. I haven't heard from Dennis yet, but I'm expecting him to call at any moment now, and there's no doubt in my mind he's got the means and the method to let us disappear forever. I know he'll come through for us, and I want Sela and me prepared to run fast.

  It didn't take me long at all to convince William that this was the best decision. We met at that Starbucks and sipped black coffee while I told him his daughter was arrested for murder and I wanted to leave the country with her forever. I had to give the man credit: he takes stoicism to a new level. While I know he was greatly disturbed by what I told him--and I told him everything--I knew that his love for his daughter would have him supporting my idea. William has seen Sela sunk into despair so brutal that he'd support whatever would give her the best chance at lifelong happiness.

  And running was that best chance.

  After William left last night, I expected a bit of awkwardness between Sela and me. I didn't have to rehash all the ways in which she'd pissed me off and left me feeling betrayed. She got it. She understood.

  I also think she was regretful.

  Well, maybe not regretful for the intention behind her actions, but she understands that she screwed things up for herself when I was the only one at risk. It was altruistic though, and I know she did it out of devotion to me, so I couldn't stay mad. Besides, once she agreed to disappear with me, she was essentially promising me a forever, and it would be hard to stay angry when I was getting something that was beyond extraordinary.

  I did have to make sure she understood something though before we went to sleep last night. I was lodged deep inside of her, my cock straining for release and both of us on the brink of letting go. I was lying on top of her, our chests pressed tight and my hips doing most of the action, which brought our faces very close to each other.

  My lips grazed against hers as I rocked against her. "Sela?"

  "Mmmm?"

  "We're partners," I told her quietly. She didn't respond, but I knew she was listening intently because her eyes opened up and glittered with awareness as they locked onto mine. "We figure things out together, okay?"

  "Together," she affirmed, and that was all I needed to hear. We were right with each other, and while we may be leaving behind an entire life--a complete existence--it was forever tarnished and would be a part of a bittersweet past. Our future is where true happiness lay for both of us.

  It was time to start putting our affairs in order.

  So today I'm making the most of my time with Caroline and Ally. Sela's spending the day with her father, because she too knows time is waning.

  While Sela chose to go hang out with her dad at their home, I decided to finally put my money to use in an extravagant way. I sent a limousine to pick up Caroline and Ally in Healdsburg, telling Caroline I needed a day to decompress from all that happened and I wanted my sister and my niece to help me do it. She readily agreed, thinking she was helping her big brother out. She had no clue I was saying goodbye.

  The limo driver delivered them both to me at the airport and I then shuttled them onto a private jet I'd rented, and we flew to San Diego for the day.

  Ally is obsessed with animals of all types. When she first started learning to talk, the words that always came first and easiest were the names of various animals.

  Dog, pig, goat. Ask her what does a cow say, and she'd grin and say, "Mooooo." She also gave an adorable pig snort when prompted. She then got better with speech and left domestic animals behind, focusing on elephant, giraffe, and kangaroo, which were obviously harder to say as they had more syllables. Her love affair with all things furry, scaled, or leathery blossomed into something that you knew would be a lifelong passion. I'm betting she becomes a veterinarian. Or maybe even a wildlife scientist.

  Regardless of where my sweet Ally will end up one day, and of which I will never have a clue how she turns out, I'm going to treat her to a day at the San Diego Zoo. I'm going to try to cram a lifetime of memories into a single day.

  "Did you know that lemurs have stink fights?" Ally says with confidence as we walk along a shaded path through the lemur exhibit. I have to admit the furry little rodents--or primates as Ally officially explained--were cute as all get out.

  "Stink fights?" I ask in disbelief.

  "Yeah," she says as she walks beside me, holding my hand. "They take this stinky stuff from their wrists and then rub it on their tails. Then they wave their tails at each other and whoever is the stinkiest wins."

  I burst out laughing and look over to my sister walking on the other side of Ally. "Where does she get this stuff from?"

  "She's obsessed with these nature shows that Snoop Dogg narrates on YouTube," she says simply as we walk along.

  "Snoop Dogg?" I ask dubiously.

  "Weird, I know," she says. "But they're hilarious and all the bad words are bleeped out."

  "And why do they have stink fights?" I ask Ally.

  She shrugs, which pulls on my hand a little. I tighten my grip because I don't ever want to let her go. "I don't know. Snoop Dogg didn't say, but then I saw another video where--"

  And so it continues for the next hour. We walk through the winding paths of the zoo, looking at various animals. I'm partial to the pandas and koalas, animals I know instinctively would appeal to Sela's soft side. Ally's favorite are the hippos, and we have to practically peel her away from the underwater viewing area so we can see more of the park before we have to leave.

  We eat ice cream and burgers. Look at grizzlies and tigers and bright pink flamingos. Dusty elephants and long-necked giraffes. I take a million pictures of her on my iPhone, knowing it won't do me any good because my phone won't be traveling with me. I'll perhaps print a few, my favorites, but we'll be traveling light.

  We laugh and I give her piggyback rides and as many hugs as I can muster without making her squirm away from me. And when Ally runs ahead to look at the polar bears, I take a moment to start my goodbyes to Caroline.

  Looping an arm around her shoulder, she reciprocates with one around my waist. "Thank you for coming to the zoo with me today."

  She squeezes me in response, and because she knows me so well, she says, "What is it you wanted to talk to me about?"

  I don't even bother trying to act surprised or affronted by her assumption. I don't have time for wasted words.

  "There's no good way out for both Sela and me," I tell her as I keep my eyes pinned on Ally.

  "I know," she agrees sadly.

  "We have to leave," I tell her, cutting through a huge buildup of reasoning I had planned to offer her.

  And all she says is, "I know."

  We're silent for a bit as we walk along, but there's no denying the heavy blanket of sadness that covers both of us. My little sister.

  The one who I lived for for so many years.

 
My only true family, and the one who brought the amazing miracle of Ally into our lives.

  I've had an extraordinary life. Many friends, terrific travels, wealth beyond imagining, and business successes. I had it all, but I won't miss any of it except for Caroline and Ally. Those two reasons are what had me up the entire night Sela got arrested, struggling with myself over what to do about the situation.

  I'd be lying if I didn't admit I considered throwing Sela under the bus. It only crossed my mind briefly, and only because Doug had brought it up that day at the police station, but it was an option I'd be stupid not to at least consider. But it felt like a poisonous cancer within me...the thought of losing her...and I immediately quashed it.

  It just wasn't an option.

  I also considered confessing myself, calling Sela a deranged girlfriend who came up with a ludicrous lie to protect me. I'd have weight behind my confession, because unlike Sela, I had access to the murder weapon. I could get it, leaving her clothes behind, and offer the cops a deal. I'd confess and give them the murder weapon only if they agreed to drop all charges against Sela.

  That was viable.

  But it wasn't optimal.

  It left me rotting in prison without my soul mate.

  So I started to consider a life elsewhere. There were a ton of countries that didn't have extradition treaties with the U.S., some exotic, others that would ensure a hard life for us. Didn't really matter though. I was going to rely on Dennis getting us to the one where we had the best chance of never being found. Preferably a country with a good plastic surgeon who could make Sela and me look different.

  We had options and that's all that mattered. By the next morning, I was convinced it was the right thing to do, so I laid my plan out to William when he arrived at my condo as we'd discussed the previous day. Our intention was to ride to the courthouse together in a show of solidarity and also so we could lean on each other. I was surprised he took very little convincing, and he only wanted to be assured it could be done cleanly without us getting caught and no blowback on family.

  I assured him it could be done, even though I hadn't been able to talk to Dennis then. I was putting a lot of faith in his abilities to rescue us, and I wasn't about to let William know that I was flying by the seat of my pants for the time being.

  "When will you leave?" she asks, determination in her voice, but it's not hiding the heavy sadness I know she's feeling. The fact that my sister didn't even bother to question my decision shows the love she has for me and her desire to see me happy.

  "As soon as it can be arranged," I tell her, watching as Ally runs up to the overlook for the polar bear exhibit. "I'm waiting on Dennis to call me back."

  More silence for a moment as we stop several feet from Ally so she can't hear us. Caroline disengages her arm from around my waist and turns to face me. "What do I tell Ally?"

  I give her a helpless look and shrug. "I have no clue. Just that I love her and I'll miss her very much. And maybe, let her know her uncle was a good guy, huh?"

  Tears well up in Caroline's eyes and her lower lip quivers. "I'll tell her he was the best. Better than any man alive."

  She walks into me and my arms wrap around her tight. In order to prevent me breaking down in a public place, I tell her urgently, "Ally's college is funded. Papers in my office. I've also got my attorney setting up a trust today that will put ten million at your disposal."

  "I don't want--" she sobs.

  "It will make me feel better," I tell her with a gruff voice before kissing her on her head. "I need to know my girls are taken care of, okay?"

  She nods against me, squeezes me tighter.

  "Also," I continue quickly so I can get this out of the way. "I'm transferring ownership of The Sugar Bowl to you. I have no clue if it will be worth anything after this is over, but hire a good business attorney right away and listen to their advice."

  She starts crying in earnest now, tears wetting my shirt as her fingers dig into my back. "I can't do this without you."

  "You can do anything, Caroline," I tell her softly. "That's how much faith I have in you."

  A tugging on my jeans at my thigh catches my attention and I look down to see Ally standing there. I give her a smile and blink my eyes to chase away my sorrow.

  "Uncle Beck, did you know that polar bears' fur isn't white? It's actually hollow and just reflects light?" she asks with a bright smile on her face, but then it slides a little as she takes in my somber look and the fact her mom is clinging to me while crying.

  "That's an amazing fact," I tell her with a shaky voice. "I didn't know that."

  Caroline pulls away, and with her face turned from Ally's, tries to surreptitiously wipe the tears away. Ally, of course, is way too savvy for that.

  "What's wrong with Mommy?" she asks, her own face starting to crumble at the thought of something terrible having happened.

  "Nothing," I say quickly as I squat down in front of Ally. "Just your mommy and Uncle Beck being silly, sentimental fools."

  I can tell that doesn't quite answer her question, so I go for redirection instead.

  "Hey," I say as if I'm struck with sudden brilliance as I pull my phone out of my pocket. "Let's do a selfie with me, you, Mommy, and the polar bears."

  "Okay," she says, her lips peeling into a grin. I look at her full set of little teeth and realize I won't see the cuteness of when she loses those front ones. A strong stab of misery and regret hits me deep, but I shuffle my brood over in front of the rail that looks over the enclosure. I squat down again and pull Ally in between my legs, turn her around to face away from me. Then Caroline squats down beside me, throwing her arm over my shoulder, and for a moment almost throwing me off balance. My legs tighten and I stay in place, looping an arm around Ally's waist to hold her tight. With my other arm extended out holding my iPhone, I position it until I see all three faces looking back at me. Ally with her big smile, Caroline with lost eyes, and me looking like a man who's getting ready to lose some of the most precious items in his life.

  I make myself put a smile on my face, because this is definitely one I'm going to print. I just hope Ally will remember this day as a happy one when she no longer has me around.

  I snap a few pictures and we all stand up. "What do you want to see next?"

  "Can we have another ice cream?" Ally asks, and she knows I won't deny her.

  "Of course you can," I tell her, and Caroline pulls the map out of her back pocket to find the nearest concession stand to us.

  My phone starts ringing in my hand. I had it on vibrate and it startles me a moment, and when I look at the screen, my heart gives a jolt to see Dennis Flaherty on the screen.

  "I'll be just a moment," I tell Caroline as I step away.

  "Hey, man," I say into the phone as soon as I connect.

  "I am so sorry I'm just now calling," he says, and I wince because the line is filled with static. "We've been offshore for two days and I didn't even have my phone on me. Now what the fuck is going on? I've got a few voice mails from the police wanting me to call them."

  "Long story short," I say as I lower my voice and walk away until I find a relatively quiet spot near an overflowing garbage can. "JT lured Sela to his house. Went after her. She stabbed him and he's dead. The district attorney isn't buying self-defense, and both of us have been charged with murder. They're calling you to verify my alibi at lunch that day."

  More static but no mistaking when he says, "What. In. The. Ever-loving. Fuck?"

  "We need to run, Dennis, and it needs to be fast. I'll make it worth your while," I tell him desperately.

  "Just hold on a second--" he says in an effort to slow me down.

  "I don't have a second. It has to be fast."

  "Beck, I'm going to help you," he says reassuringly. More static. "Let me get online, get up to speed on what's going on, and I'll get on the next flight out of here. I'll call you with my arrival details."

  "I don't see any other options," I tell him, so he know
s this isn't a whim.

  "Just hang tight," he says, the phone crackling even more. "I'm on my way."

  It's Friday, late afternoon. The courthouse is all but deserted, lending an almost eerie feeling to this meeting. Because there's no hustle and bustle of attorneys, court personnel, jurors, and accused, the silence of the building doesn't make this meeting seem real.

  Doesn't seem legitimate.

  And yet I hope.

  There are five of us in here right now, sitting around a battered-looking conference room table that sits two doors down from ADA Hammond's office. I saw the nameplate on her door when we were ushered back here by a secretary.

  Beck and I sit side by side on one side, our hands clenched under the table. We both dressed up, on the advice of our attorneys, and he looks beyond handsome in a dark charcoal suit with a summer-sky-blue tie with little fleurs-de-lis in yellow. I wore a simple black A-line skirt and a rayon long-sleeve blouse that had a slight cowl neck that exposed the barely visible bruises on my neck. Even though it had been eleven days, there was still some yellowing to my skin, and if the reminder that I was attacked that night by JT helps, then I was going to use it.

  My attorney, Kerry, sits to my left, and Doug took the chair on the end, since he's going to be leading this discussion on behalf of our group. To Beck's right sits an attorney I just met early this morning. His name is Roger Nichols and he's from New York, and you only need to look at his expensive suit and four-hundred-dollar haircut to figure he's a big-city boy.

  I pull my hand from Beck's, because it's sweating, and wipe it on my skirt. He grabs it back, locks his fingers around me tightly, and gives me a squeeze.

  Doug appears to be casually comfortable, his bow tie spiffily tied. Kerry is vibrating with energy. I can feel it coming off of her. And the New York member of our crowd is busily working over his smartphone, his fingers flying as he no doubt bills out several hundred bucks an hour for whatever work he's doing. You know damn well by looking at him that the man is working and probably doesn't know the meaning of the words rest and relaxation.

  The door to the conference room opens up and ADA Hammond walks in. She glances around the room with an irritated air and sits just to the right of Doug and opposite Kerry. She's got two manila files in her hands, which she smacks down on the table, causing me to jump slightly. My hands start sweating even more.