Whisperers

  Black-eyed and busted lip.

  I gestured that I had nothing and walked on.

  "Don't you want to do some business, handsome."

  Shouts a hooker from across the street.

  She lifts her shirt.

  Then flashes her offerings.

  Umf.

  Ha-ha-ha.

  Some people.

  I was suddenly nervous as I approached.

  The street where it all happened.

  There where they did it.

  There where I did it.

  Anubis.

  Yes.

  Gympie street.

  I walked slowly over to the open ground next to the block of coloured houses.

  I looked at the ones opposite the street.

  I couldn’t be sure where he lived.

  Can’t just go and knock and ask for the man with the cut over his face.

  You’d better leave.

  Here you’ll get killed.

  You forget.

  Go.

  Leave.

  Now!

  I started walking further up the street.

  Hesitantly.

  More towards Hofmeyr lane.

  I stopped and turned around.

  Best to leave.

  Here I wasn’t safe.

  What was I thinking coming here.

  It was so long again.

  They have probably all forgotten.

  Perhaps it was just me that was obsessed with it.

  Haunted by it.

  Out of guilt.

  Just go.

  Leave this place.

  I wanted to start walking back.

  I paused.

  I took the leather pouch from my pants pocket.

  Why did I have to take this stupid thing.

  It was because of him.

  I remember that clearly.

  He forced me to take it.

  I shuddered as I remembered his eyes right in front of mine.

  The one that protruded like a grape seemed to want to lick my eye ball.

  It grossed me out.

  I could see my scared face reflected in the darker, black pearl.

  That freaked me out.

  As I saw my eyes reflecting in horror.

  It was like his voice was inside my head.

  He was whistling a creepy tune.

  Then he said if I don’t take it.

  He’ll stay with me like this forever.

  That was enough to make me do as he asked.

  But he lied.

  He remained with me none the less.

  Perhaps because I lost it.

  I could never be sure.

  Perhaps he was here for a completely different reason.

  I have often thought about it.

  When he seemed to pop up.

  It was always.

  Yes.

  Uhm.

  When I missed Nia, he was always there reminding me of her.

  Making me feel sad.

  Wanting me to hate everyone and everything.

  Especially God.

  When it came to the pouch, he always reminded me of what I had done.

  Reminded me of the hurt I caused.

  What a horrible person I was.

  One that deserved not to be loved.

  He used my guilt against me.

  I realised if I were to be rid of him, I would have to do this.

  Yes.

  Uhm.

  I turned around.

  My heart pounded immediately hard in my chest.

  I swallowed hard.

  Could he see the shock in my face.

  How long has he been standing there.

  Watching me.

  I nearly had a heart attack.

  Uhm.

  It was Georgie.

  vii

  “Come, Nia. This way.”

  I grabbed Nia’s hand and ran back towards the small incline.

  The fire had not reached the top yet.

  I could clearly see the heat though.

  This time Nia seemed to be aware of it too.

  She held tighter to my hand.

  “Sherwin,” she tries to catch her breath, “what just happened?”

  Nia seemed totally confused.

  She tried her best to keep up.

  She didn’t stop talking though.

  We reached the top.

  “Why is everything...”

  The sight of the fire stopped Nia.

  The white-orange-red flames.

  They were gigantic.

  Consuming everything that was in its path.

  One could not say from which direction it came.

  Only that it was destroying everything.

  It had now reached Protected-Dreams-Forest.

  Till it will finally reach the castle.

  In the distance across the water, you could see the tiny cabin.

  It was the only way out.

  Nia still looked at the fire astonished.

  “Is that where the daisies used to be?”

  Nia seems almost sad.

  She puts her hand to her mouth.

  How is it that she can’t remember.

  We were in the castle not moments ago.

  How can she forget.

  That thing.

  “Yes,” I answered and stood closer to Nia.

  Those doe eyes.

  Filled with the reflection of the fire.

  She looks at me.

  Then stands closer.

  I wanted to stop her, but before I could.

  She removes her earmuffs.

  She hears it too.

  Nia! Niiiiiiiiaaaaaaa! Nia! Nia! Niaaaaaaaaaaa! Nia!

  Nia! Niaaaaaa! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia!

  Nia! Nia!

  Niaaaaaaaaaa! Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaa!Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Nia!Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia!

  Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia!Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia!

  Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia! Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaa!Nia! Nia! Nia! Nia!

  Niaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

  I quickly put the earmuffs over Nia’s ears.

  She stood into me.

  Nestled her head tight against my chest.

  Her arms covering her bosom.

  I put my arms around her.

  “I’m sorry you had to hear that.”

  The doof-doof subsided slightly.

  Nia’s tears were streaking down my chest.

  I could feel her body tremble.

  I held her tighter.

  She slowly lifted her head.

  Looked me in the eyes.

  Doe eyes bewildered.

  Scared.

  I have never seen them so afraid.

  “Don’t worry, Nia.”

  We didn’t have to fear.

  I knew this with certainty.

  We were going to make it.

  Only thing was to keep moving.

  Nia wipes the tears from her face and wipes her nose with her sleeve.

  She then says.

  “I’m sorry, Sher.” She sniffles. “I should have listened to you.”

  She looks at the fire.

  Then back at me.

  Those doe eyes.

  Confusing.

  I was not sure what Nia was experiencing.

  “I should never have held onto the thing.

  This is all my fault.”

  I gestured no with my hand.

  “No it’s not.”

  I shook my head.

  “This is just the way it’s supposed to be.”

  I pointed to the tiny cabin.

  “Look.”

  She turns and looks in the
direction I was pointing.

  She seems to recognise it, but then looks further up.

  Who’s house is that?” she asks surprised and points to something up the hill.

  Towards the back of the cabin.

  I didn’t see a thing.

  Only hints of fires that had broken out sporadically along the hill.

  “I’m sure of it,” Nia says.

  Her doe eyes stare out in wonder.

  ”It looks like a camp fire burning in front of it.”

  Nia turns to me and seems to be annoyed.

  “You sure you can’t see it.”

  “It must be the heat. It plays tricks on you.”

  I looked the hill up and down one last time.

  There was nothing there.

  Nia must be imagining things.

  Or it was something Utopia was only showing to her.

  That was always a possibility.

  Utopia was here for her.

  Me only a part of what was allowed to be here with her.

  I realised that after the first few times I dreamt I was here.

  Moments we shared in real life would somehow end up playing out here.

  Or there would just be moments where we would explore.

  There was so much here that was strange.

  Nia didn’t seem to be surprised any more.

  She enjoyed it.

  She just went with it all.

  She understood that it was for her.

  That it would answer to her every call.

  She slowly turns to me again.

  Immediately her gaze falls to my chest.

  Again her eyes go small.

  She steps closer to me and opens her eyes more.

  She slowly puts her right index finger to my chest.

  Then the rest.

  She strokes it gently.

  Tracing the lines that had formed all across my chest.

  She presses her palm flat.

  Right there where all the lines met.

  She seems confused.

  Somehow she seems excited too.

  She bites her bottom lip hard.

  Closes those doe eyes.

  Then looks up at me.

  “Sher, what are these?”

  I wanted to answer.

  But before I could.

  The sudden sharp doof-doof in my head made me go mute.

  We would have to move.

  I took Nia’s hand in mine.

  “It’s nothing, Nia.

  Just some arteries and veins.

  Come.”

  I said under my breath.

  That was a lie.

  I hoped she would let it be.

  I led Nia to the spot where we met the socks.

  They were all gone.

  Probably cowering in a corner somewhere.

  Mending their hurt feelings.

  Umf.

  Uhm.

  I took Nia behind the giant ferns.

  She walked slowly closer.

  Rubbing her fingers through them.

  They all looked like the streaks of the electric Christmas tree she brought to the tiny cabin.

  She loved Christmas time.

  She said everyday should be Christmas and she made sure to celebrate festively whenever she could.

  My Nia.

  Sweetpea.

  Wonder if she’d kiss me.

  You know.

  Under the mistletoe.

  If we should ever be in that same spot.

  I have often wondered what it would be like to taste those lips.

  I hoped that I would.

  That I could.

  But I was sadly.

  Wrong.

  They were only for the roach.

  I can’t believe he led her to the fire.

  Something came to my mind.

  I was forgetting something.

  I forgot it then completely.

  All blank.

  I moved closer to Nia as she strokes her fingers through the bright leaves.

  Luminous streaks.

  A white luminosity was to the ferns.

  Though they were clearly a lavender.

  Mixed with a pink and green in-between.

  Nia’s white hair was shining bright.

  I stepped up behind her.

  She turned around and looked at me.

  She seemed different.

  More like she was in the castle.

  Almost like she was.

  Never mind.

  Umf.

  I took her hand and led her further through this part of Utopia.

  It also led to Lake Tranquillity.

  But you had to use the shoot.

  Umf.

  Uhm.

  The shoot could be great fun.

  Normally is.

  But with the fire blazing from nowhere.

  Everywhere.

  At any time.

  I was sceptical.

  I was sure we would make it.

  But I was sceptical.

  Uhm.

  Umf.

  Ever a doubter.

  viii

  We stood at the edge of The Shoot.

  It was a black, liquidy spiral thing.

  The spiral thingy Nia always called it.

  It took you straight to Lake Tranquillity’s edge.

  But not before.

  Uhm.

  “Remember to breath,” I said as I wiped a dry leaf from Nia’s cheek.

  She didn’t seem tired at all.

  I found that really strange.

  Not once had she taken her pills.

  I took my spot next to her.

  She smiled at me expectantly.

  Like she had never done this before.

  Doe eyes not sure what she was getting herself into.

  She made a cross.

  Across her chest.

  Then kissed her fingers.

  She gripped my hand.

  Tightly.

  I smiled at that.

  I was happy that she did.

  I took in those doe eyes.

  They were alluring.

  Always captivating.

  We both stepped into the air.

  Were suddenly sucked in.

  Immediately we were floating in space.

  Nia curled herself around my body.

  Arms locked around my neck.

  She looked at the stars around us.

  Asteroids flying past us.

  Nia breathed easily.

  Her heartbeat.

  Steady against my chest.

  We could see a blue comet in the distance.

  Beautiful tail.

  Nia shouted that we were in Aquarius.

  She looked at me strangely.

  What was she talking about.

  Her face seemed suddenly smaller.

  All sort of sucked in.

  She disappeared right in front of me.

  Her right hand stretched long and curled around my neck.

  I felt as I was sucked in too.

  Nia now had her arm around my waist.

  Alf came walking closer.

  The hair just as orange as I always remembered it.

  He came right up to Nia and said.

  “Got any cats?”

  He licked his lips.

  “I do love cats.”

  He smiled coyly.

  And Nia held onto the side of the claws tighter.

  We were being carried through the sky by the Abandoner Nia had called it.

  Why she would call this flying thing that.

  I had no idea.

  It opened its claws a bit.

  Allowing us an aerial view of Utopia.

  The sky bright around us.

  The bright colours surrounding Nia’s castle.

  The great waterfall near Nia’s peak.

  We drifted lower to the castle’s tower.

  Circling the round blue sphere.

  The blue marble.

  It was casting bright blue
light in all directions.

  Nia seemed to reach towards it.

  Almost like she wanted to grab some of the rays that seemed so tangible right in front of our eyes.

  The blue bubbles like it was filled with tiny things that stared back at us.

  Nia grabbed at one.

  She held tighter to the dolphin’s fin.

  I held tighter to her hand as we were dragged through the water.

  Nia seemed to be giggling.

  Her eyes never close.

  Those doe eyes taking in everything around us.

  I saw as more dolphins swam around us.

  I saw it.

  The black-eyed sea-nymph.

  “You remember the tune right.”

  We were walking down Nia’s lane.

  Hotel California.

  One of Nia’s favourite tracks.

  She did enjoy Eagles.

  We walked to the edge and looked down.

  It seemed to be high above the clouds.

  The jukeboxes as if they were plugged into the clouds somehow.

  Nia looked over at The Cone.

  That was her favourite thing to look at from her home.

  That was in Windhoek.

  Namibia.

  She would miss it when she would finally move.

  That’s what she said.

  Any way.

  Plenty of room at the Hotel California… anytime of the year… you can find it here... Nia sang along.

  We were suddenly in the tiny cabin.

  Dancing to No Air.

  Nia held me tightly.

  Her eyes fixed on mine.

  Her hands tight against me then.

  Caressing my pigeon-chest.

  I cupped the small of her back.

  I leaned forward and helped Nia to catch her breath.

  She gasped out in wonder as she opened her eyes and gazed over at Lake Tranquillity.

  She took my hand tightly.

  Lifted herself up.

  She stared out in amazement.

  ix

  The first one came shyly from behind the tree.

  It looked around curiously.

  Then just went on the tips of its toes.

  Quick.

  *Swoosh*

  Gently.

  Not even the water was stirred as it came to a standstill right near the centre of the lake.

  Its translucent orange wings occasionally flap as it stares at Nia.

  Then suddenly it looks away.

  It vanishes.

  No trace that it was ever there.

  Nia’s eyes never close.

  Those doe eyes.

  Searching.

  I could see that she doubted that she saw it at all.

  Uhm.

  It was like it was a figment of our imagination.

  However.

  The second one appeared.

  It came from below.

  It was in the lake.

  This one was not orangey, but rather purplish.

  Maybe blue.

  I couldn’t be sure.

  The water all flowed back into the lake from its wings and body.

  Like it couldn’t get wet.

  Nia walked closer to the edge of the lake as the doof-doof in my head started again.

  I looked up in the direction of Nia’s castle.

  A huge red creature was sitting on the marble.

  No.

  It was crushing it.

  I thought the marble was destroyed…

  It’s a dragon or something.

  It spread its wings.

  It looked like it was on fire.

  The marble and tower shattering to pieces as it ascends into the air.

  The doof-doof in my head was never like this before.

  Almost like it was in sync with the tower.

  As it shattered.

  Yes.

  My head would give a loud doof-doof.

  When the tower cracked before coming apart.

  There would be the echo of a doof-doof.