Needing Her

Page 22

  Author: Molly McAdams

  “You’re everything,” he said against my skin before I felt his body relax as he fell asleep.

  Everything.

  That word continued playing in my mind, and I decided right then that I was done hiding. I was done protecting myself from a heartache that may or may not happen with Connor, because all I’d been doing was pushing him away. I was done pretending that he didn’t matter, and that I didn’t care. And I was ready for anything and everything with him.

  Chapter Ten

  Connor

  I TOOK THREE deep breaths in, and tried to tell myself that this would go in my favor. Because it would. They knew me. They trusted me. They would trust me with their sister.

  Right?

  Opening the door, I walked into the sports bar and looked around for Dakota and Dylan. Looking to the right, I faltered and almost walked right back out of the bar. One of their other brothers, Sam, was at the table too. It was one thing to tell my best friends first, to get a feel for how the rest of the family would react; but to have Sam there too?

  But I knew I had to do this now; we were all going to Mammoth tomorrow, and there was no way I could stay away from Maci while we were there. And in case it went bad, I really didn’t want Maci present for whatever went down.

  I’d thought I was in deep when Amy had tried to give me an ultimatum last week, but after making love to Maci that night . . . I knew that what I’d felt for her had been nothing compared to now. I craved her constantly. When she wasn’t near me, it felt like I’d go crazy waiting until I could be near her again. A week of not being able to look at her or touch her would drive me insane.

  With another deep breath in, I straightened my shoulders and walked over to where they were already drinking.

  “Connor!” Dylan yelled, and Dakota sent off a girl I had no doubt he’d be going home with later. “Aw, come on now. You couldn’t even take off the detective getup to have a beer with us?”

  I just smirked. Honestly, I couldn’t have gone back to my place. Because if I had, I would’ve seen Maci and then I would’ve never made it out again.

  Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me in to clap my shoulder, and I flinched out of his grasp. Jesus, when did I become such a bitch?

  “Good to see you, Sam,” I forced out, trying to make up for how awkward I’d just acted. “How’s the family?”

  “They’re really good. Caden is almost two, and Jessica just found out she’s pregnant again . . . which is why I am here,” he joked, but held up his empty beer glass, looking around for a waitress.

  “Congrats, man. I’m excited for you. ”

  His smile showed how happy he really was when he turned to look at me again. “Me too, so what about you? I know these two aren’t settling down anytime soon, but I always thought you were an old soul. Figured you’d find a girl and settle down early. ”

  I had to be careful how I answered, because what I said in that moment could determine how they reacted later. Before Cassidy, I would’ve sworn up and down I would’ve never gotten married because I was terrified of having children and what I might do to my future family. Then she’d come back into my life, and Cassidy had been like an antidote to my fears, or at least had blinded me from them . . . making me want to have it all. Even though I wasn’t ready to think of marriage with Maci yet, since it hadn’t even been three weeks since we’d actually gotten together. I knew with my life that was exactly where Maci and I would eventually lead.

  There was still one problem, though. She wasn’t Cassidy. Don’t get me wrong . . . I was glad she wasn’t. I knew now that Cassidy hadn’t been the girl for me; she had just been someone who would understand me, with absolutely no judgment. Finally finding that in someone had been the one thing that triggered my want to keep her in my life forever. Of course she had been sweet, brave, and strong. But sweet, brave, and strong weren’t what I needed or wanted.

  I wanted feisty. I wanted obnoxious. I wanted stubborn. I wanted Maci . . . needed her. But a part of me felt like I needed that piece of Cassidy that understood everything I had gone through as a child. And I still hadn’t brought myself to tell Maci about my past and my fears of the future because I couldn’t know what her reaction would be.

  There had never been a need for the Price family to know what had happened to Amy and me, but I knew I needed to tell Maci in order for our relationship to continue. I was just terrified that after finally opening my eyes to her, and having her in my life even for a short time, I would tell her and she wouldn’t be able to understand . . . and then she would be gone too.

  I looked Sam right in the eye and told him the truth. “I hope to soon. ”

  He cocked an eyebrow and took a sip of the new beer that had just been placed in front of him. “Really?”

  Dakota snorted. “We obviously need to get you a beer if you’re starting to talk about settling down. Everyone knows that’s not about to happen. ” He caught the waitress’s eye and pointed toward me.

  “I don’t want a drink. ”

  “What?” all three said at once.

  “You feelin’ okay?” Dylan asked.

  “I’m fine, but uh . . . I. ” Shit. “I need to talk to you three about something. ”

  None of them said anything; they all just sat there staring at me. When the waitress walked over, Dakota waved her away without taking his eyes off me.

  Sitting down, I tried to figure out the best way to say it, but in the end, it still came out all kinds of fucked up. “I want your . . . I’m . . . I plan to marry Maci one day. ”

  They were still sitting there staring, but now none of them were blinking or moving. It was fucking terrifying. I rushed to get the rest out.

  “I’m not going to ask your permission to date her, because we’re already together. And I’m not asking her to marry me anytime soon because our relationship is still raw; but I needed you to know how serious I am about us. She’s not just some girl; I know she’s it for me. I’m not going to hide us. ”

  Dylan burst out laughing, cutting off when he realized no one else had joined in with him.

  “This better be a fucking joke,” Dakota sneered, his face slowly turning red.

  “What? No,” Dylan said, shaking his head. “No way. Not Connor and Mini. Of course he’s joking. ”

  I quickly glanced in Sam’s direction; he was scowling at me but didn’t look like he was ready to kill me, like Kota did.

  “How long has this been going on?” Sam asked.

  “A few weeks. ”

  “A few”—Dakota slammed his hand down on the table—“a few fucking weeks? Are you shitting me?”

  “No, listen—”

  “No you listen. How many times have we seen or talked to you since this started happening, and you didn’t say anything?”

  “I’m sorry, you have every right to be pissed about that. I should have told you right away. ”

  Sam still wasn’t talking; he was now studying me. And now I was wondering if he was figuring out the most painful way to kill me. Dylan was sitting there, blinking rapidly, as if he was trying to come out of a daze.

  “Krista!” Dakota barked at the waitress, and lifted his empty glass before looking back at me. “Did you tell Maci you were going to talk to us?” When I shook my head, he nodded, scratched at his jaw roughly, and then dropped his head to look at the table. “You’re not going to tell her you talked to us. You’re gonna break up with her, and we’re gonna forget this shit ever happened. ”

  “No. I’m not leaving her. ”

  Dakota’s head shot up, and he stared in Sam’s direction for a few seconds before turning to look at me. His gray eyes narrowed. “If it were anyone else, I wouldn’t have asked, Connor. I would have just made sure they never wanted to even think about her again. You’re my best friend, but you have five seconds to change your mind before we change it for you. ”

  I sh
rugged sadly and ran my hand through my hair roughly. “I’m sorry you feel that way, but I’m not changing my mind. ”

  Dakota was out of his chair and lunging across the table so fast, I didn’t have time to register his fist coming at me until I was already falling out of my chair.

  “Stay the fuck away from Maci!”

  I stood and worked my jaw a few times before spitting blood on the ground. A few of the bigger workers had surrounded us by then, so I held up a hand.

  “We’re fine. Just a misunderstanding. It’s over. ”

  We knew them all well; we’d been coming to this bar since we could legally drink. So after a few warnings, they walked away and we all sat back down.

  “Connor, you will—”

  “No, Dakota. I won’t. You got your hit in, hopefully that’s enough for the three of you for now. But I’m not going to leave Maci. I told you, I didn’t come to ask your permission, I just wanted you to know. You can’t keep doing this to her, you’ve been scaring her from having relationships, and you’ve been keeping guys away from her. She’s twenty-three, she’s an adult, you need to let her have her life. ”

  “Fuck you, Green!”

  “I agree with Connor,” Sam said, surprising the hell out of us. “At least it’s someone we all know and can trust her with. ”

  Dakota leaned over the table toward Sam, but pointed at me. “He’s not good enough for her!”

  I threw my arms out to the side before letting the drop. “I’m your best friend! If I’m not, then who is? No one will ever be good enough for your sister. That’s how I felt with Amy, but I couldn’t stop her from getting married!”

  “Kota’s right,” Dylan said softly. He wasn’t looking at any of us, he just sat there with his arms crossed over his chest, but he looked sad. “I’m sorry, Connor, but I can’t let you date my sister . . . let alone marry her. ”

  “I hope this shows you how much she means to me. I’m willing to risk eighteen years of friendship because I don’t give a fuck what either of you are saying. I’m not leaving her. ” I stood, and everything in my body froze when Dylan spoke again.