Not just pass me like he doesn’t care
If love was meant for me
I would be able to feel it in my heart
It would overwhelm my entire being
From the start
If love was meant for me
If love was meant for me
Sometimes we wonder if love is meant for us at all…. This consumes us because we see it around us and we think that it will never truly come to us. But love takes time. Love is meant for everyone. To be loved is a wonderful thing, and to love someone is also a great feeling. Love is meant for everyone…but sometimes we don’t realize this.
The Wall
Two days ago while I was downtown
Just watching the flashing lights
I decided to start building a wall
That no one could get by
I envisioned where it would begin
And also where it would end
And when I got home that night
My work started to begin
I started at the most vulnerable part
Then built more and more
Soon I noticed that the wall was finished
And I forgot the door
I forgot to build the door to this fortress
Now no one can come in
No matter how hard they try
Or how sweet they are to me
No one can ever reach my heart
Because everyone is shut out but me
But at least I won’t be hurt anymore
But I will also never be happy
It’s Not Much
A shiny thing that is in my chest
Beating with passion and desire
If it’s sweet nectar was taken away
It would mean death within an hour
It is all I have
And all that I possess
That contains my deepest truths
It contains all of my wishes and dreams
The ones I shed tears for to come true
It bled so many times
Just wishing for you to hear its beat
The bloody tears trickled down
Yet not even I could see
It isn’t much
It is not that special
But it is all I have
And I really do not appreciate
When someone wants to break it in half
Would I take a dollar from your wallet
If the dollar was all you owned
Would I take your home away from you
If it’s the only place you call home
The answer to these two questions
Is quite frankly NO INDEED
So tell me, why would you take my heart from me
When it is something that I might need………
It’s not much, but it’s all I have
Please do not forget
Because a person is not ANYONE without their heart intact
Guard your heart at all cost. For it is your fortress which can house the seed of your future…..
My Heart In Words
If a fish came out of water
To proclaim its love to you
Would you even give it a second look?
Would you believe its love was true?
Would you appreciate this gesture?
Would you at least show a little smile?
Or would you huff and puff and get upset
Because this fish didn’t bring you a crown
I love you so much
And I never want to let you go
No matter how much you may put me through pain
Whether I go out on my way
Or above mountain tops
It seems like you will never change
But maybe one day you will take a deep look
And see the person that I am to you
Caring, Respectful, and Hardworking
But yet consumed with so much pain caused by my love for you
It hurts to love at times
But I continue my pursuit
My heart aches for the one I love
And the one I love is you
I want all of your dreams
And all of your wishes
To come true for you
But I want you to also remember these three words
I love you
I love you
I love you!
No Love Lost… No Love Found
For the Love I have
For you in my heart
Glistens like the dew
That lands on the leaf
After the morning fog
Oh how I think of you
The life that I live
Is dictated by your past
For how you treated me has hurt
And I can’t get over the ways you scarred me
For it has left this mark
I’m afraid to love
I’m afraid to hurt
And it’s all because of you
So I built up a wall
That will never crumble or fall
And not even I can get through
The love I have
For you in my heart
I can feel that it is still there
But despite the constant “I’m Sorry” you give me
I convince myself that I don’t care…
The Truth about My Love Poem
Blue as the sky
On this lovely day
I think about you
As I lay…
And what type of things comes to my mind
A whirlwind of emotion is tumbling down
And then I finally catch my breath
And I tell myself “You have to relax”
I paint a portrait only I can see
And it showcases so many memories
The happiness I felt
The disappoints too
Oh how all this revolves around you
Blue as the sky
On this lovely day
I think about you
As I lay
The love poem……… To be completely honest, I think that I am fairly decent at writing them. However, truth be told, I am horrible at love. I am the type of person who consumes her world with so many other things that I neglect that aspect of my life. I am the type of person who is somewhat of a perfectionist. I always have to be the best at whatever I do. I applied that to my academic career, and now I apply that to my job…. But this thing called love…… I put in no effort………
The Fear Of Being Single
"Many times in life you will come across a puzzle that is missing the very last piece. No matter how long and hard you search for it, you will never find that piece. However, it is up to you to realize that your efforts were in vain and to pick up the pieces and move on..... Besides, why waste time stressing about it? Sometimes when you finally find that missing piece you realize that it wasn't even worth the effort and you did not care about the puzzle as much as you thought. " -Monica Renata
So many of us hold on to toxic relationships for far too long. We believe that everything will get better if we fix one aspect of the relationship. However, we don't know what aspect that is....
Why are we so afraid of being alone? I see so many men and women stay with someone who mistreats and does not appreciate them. I have seen many hold on to the hope that if they fix "one thing" then everything will get better....but as time moves forward the situation doesn't improve. I mean, is it that bad to be single?
At times, we find ourselves holding on to someone because we are afraid to be alone. But why? You were single before you met your partner. So therefore, being single is something you have experienced before. In addition, being single DOES NOT mean that you are alone!!
At the end of the day, you have to love yourself. You have to feel comfortable being surrounded by you. Take this time to get to know yourself. Sometimes we lose ourselves in another person and we forget who we really are.
So don't ever lose yourself in some
one else. Always remember what you deserve and never settle for anything less than that.
And remember this: People were not created to be mistreated.
I’m Sorry
Hey you…I remember how much you said you wanted us to work, but we just didn’t. I want to tell you that I’m sorry for not being what you wanted. I’m sorry for not having the coolest clothes. I’m sorry for not dressing in revealing clothing to satisfy your sexual appetite. I’m sorry for not being the type of person who lets others just constantly run over me while I silently stay by their side. I’m sorry…..
I’m sorry for all the times I argued with you so that you could understand where I was coming from. I’m sorry for staying up late on weekends with my friends trying to justify why I was still with you. Why I still loved you. Why I accepted those things that you did over and over again… I’m sorry..
It seems as though no matter how many times I say it.. I can’t say it enough… But I’m really sorry… I’m so sorry that you won’t understand this… But most of all, I feel sorry for you….I feel so sorry for you because you have yet to recognize when you have something good staring you in the face. I feel sorry for you because instead of appreciating someone who loves you with all your heart, you rather surround yourself with those who only care about the material gains they get from being with you…I hope you grow in life….but I am just so Sorry…I feel so sorry for you.
Never apologize for being yourself. Never give someone the ability to cause you to feel self-doubt. You are a great person…unfortunately; everyone will not realize that….But that is just their lost.
If you enjoyed this collection of poems and random thoughts, please check out my book which is on Amazon. It is titled “The Awkward Butterfly”. It is a story about self-realization and coming into your own. This is a story which is written in the format of having conversation with a good friend.
To find more of my writing online please check out the following online pages:
Follow me on Facebook: www.facebook.com/TheAwkwardButterfly
The Awkward Butterfly:
Ebook: https://amzn.com/B00EP5A484
CreateSpace: https://www.createspace.com/4430912
My Blog: https://monicarenata.blogspot.com
Thanks for reading.
-Monica Renata
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