Unfinished Symphony

  "Come on?"

  "You're his granddaughter. You belong in every family discussion now. No more false pretenses among us. That's my only demand," he said. I trailed beside him as he walked toward the house, his home, a place he hadn't been for years, but a place that held all his childhood memories and the memories of his mother.

  We entered and he gave me a tour.

  "He's kept it pretty much as I remembered it," Kenneth said. He laughed. "My mother and her antiques. Some of these things are worth a lot of money though."

  We went upstairs and he showed me what used to be his room. He stood there for a long time, a sad smile on his face. When we descended again, the Judge was standing in the doorway of his office.

  "Well," he said, looking from Kenneth to me. "This looks like it's going to be the event of the year, huh? I haven't seen your piece, Kenneth, but Laurence Baker told me it's wonderful. Anybody make a preliminary offer yet? If not, I'd like to make an offer."

  "It's not for sale," Kenneth said.

  "What?"

  "I'm thinking of donating it to the museum after the showing."

  The Judge's mouth dropped open. "Why, that's a mighty fine idea, Kenneth. Mighty fine," he said when he'd finally recovered.

  "Well, if you were going to sell it, I'd buy it myself," I said, wishing Kenneth would accept money for his creation.

  They both looked at me and then Kenneth laughed. The Judge's face broke into a smile, too.

  "I bet she would," he said.

  "She would," Kenneth agreed. At least they were agreeing on something.

  "I'm glad we're having the party here, Ken. Your mother would be very proud," the Judge said. "Oh, that reminds me," he added quickly. "I found something the other day and thought you'd want to have it." He turned and went into the office. We followed. He handed Kenneth a leather picture frame in which there was a photo of his mother and him when he was no more than five or six years old.

  "He had that serious, artistic look even back then, didn't he?" the Judge asked me.

  "He sure looks deep in thought," I replied.

  "I remember when Louise bought that frame. She considered it a prime find. That design's all handengraved or something," he continued as Kenneth continued to stare at the picture of himself and his mother. The Judge found it necessary to keep talking. "I think it was somewhere down in Buzzard's Bay. She would walk into those tiny stores and dig around like some miner looking for gold and come out with the craziest stuff sometimes. When she found that frame, she said she had just the picture to put in it."

  "Thanks," Kenneth said.

  "Oh, sure, sure. So, how have things been otherwise?" the Judge asked.

  "Otherwise?" Kenneth's mouth turned in at the corners.

  "I mean . . ." The Judge looked at me.

  "Whatever you have to say, she can hear it, too. She is your granddaughter," Kenneth said.

  "Yes, she is," the Judge said nodding, "and I must say I'm proud of her."

  "Even though it's a deep, dark secret?" Kenneth taunted. The Judge's eyes grew smaller. He blew some air between his lips and lowered himself slowly to the leather settee, gazing down at the floor like a man who had just received some very bad news.

  "There's no sense in my apologizing to you, Kenneth. I've done that a hundred times and you won't hear it. Anyway, I don't expect you to forgive me for something I can't forgive myself. But," he said raising his eyes to Kenneth, "none of it has stopped me from loving you, son. I'm proud of you and what you've done. All I hope is that you can come to hate me a little less. That's all," he concluded with a deep sigh.

  Kenneth turned away for a moment.

  "You betrayed us, you know, all of us."

  "Yes, I did," the Judge confessed. "I was a weak man; she was a beautiful and very desirable woman. It's no excuse; it's just an explanation," he followed quickly.

  "You've spent most of your life sitting in judgment on people. Who sat in judgment of you?"

  "You did, son, and the price I paid was too much. If I could change things, I would."

  Kenneth didn't look convinced.

  "Really, I would. I would sooner die than take away your happiness. I wanted only the best for you. None of this has had any meaning to me since your mother's death and . . since all of you children left." He looked at me. "It's sort of a miracle that Melody has come back to us."

  Kenneth glanced at me and then he nodded. "Yes, it is."

  "And it just pleases me to all get out that she and you have taken to each other."

  "She's a pest," Kenneth teased.

  I smiled through my teary eyes.

  "Talented, playing that fiddle, too. You're going to play something for us at the party, aren't you, Melody?"

  "What? No, I--"

  "Of course she is," Kenneth said eying me. "It's part of our deal."

  "It is?" I asked worriedly.

  "Well good," the Judge said standing again. He seemed to have trouble getting to his feet, swallowing a groan and forcing a smile. "I guess I'll get back out there and see what that dandified fellow's got planned for me. Wants to string pink roses up the driveway next," he said and Kenneth laughed. Then, as if remembering himself, Kenneth stopped and turned toward the doorway. He paused in it, looked down at the picture of himself and his mother, and gazed back at the Judge.

  "Thanks for this."

  "Sure."

  "We gotta go," he said.

  "Yes, it looks like I have some unexpected practicing to do," I quipped and Kenneth laughed.

  The Judge followed us to the front door.

  "I don't have to say good luck. I know everyone's going to be impressed," he declared. Kenneth nodded, and I could tell he wanted to say "Thank you."

  When I looked at the Judge, I saw his eyes were full of tears. He bit down on his lip, smiled at me and went back inside.

  "I think he's really sorry, Kenneth."

  "Maybe," he relented. We got into the jeep and he sat there for a while, watching his father come out of the house, wave to us and walk slowly toward the caterers.

  "He was a very handsome man, always distinguished, gentlemanly. He looked just like a judge. When I was a little boy, I thought he had the power to decide life and death. Don't put your faith completely in anyone, Melody. Reserve some skepticism. It's good insurance. Okay," he said smiling at me. "We'll have a good time. If the Queen will grant you leave, you're invited to dinner tonight. Holly will be here any minute."

  "She will? Oh great! Of course I can come. Grandma Olivia wants me to be a good influence on you, get you to look more like--"

  "A businessman, I know. I might put on a clean pair of pants and socks," he said and we both laughed.

  Holly, I thought. I couldn't wait to see her again.

  Holly came laden with gifts for us: charms and crystals, astrological charts, new earrings for me and a bracelet for Kenneth. After dinner she and I took a long walk alone on the beach and talked about my trip to California.

  "Naturally, my sister turned everything around, blamed me for sending such a young, impressionable girl to Los Angeles. Philip said it wasn't surprising," she said with a short laugh.

  "Oh I hope I didn't make any trouble for you," I said.

  "This isn't a new argument. My sister and her husband formed their opinions of me long ago. Anyway, Billy wanted me to be sure to give you his best wishes and love. He was touched by you."

  "And I by him. I thought about him and the things he told me many times while I was in Hollywood."

  "Your mother didn't have the slightest--"

  "She's like someone under a spell, Holly. If I had known as much before, I would never have gone. I sometimes stop at the graveyard and pretend it's her buried there. She might as well be," I added.

  She smiled softly and paused to take a deep breath of the fresh ocean air.

  "Cleans out my brain," she said. "Well, I see Cary has won over Kenneth, building that boat." She nodded toward the finished hull. "It looks like it's goi
ng to be very impressive."

  "He's got his whole heart in it," I said, my own heart swelling with pride.

  "Not his whole heart. There's some big part of it here," she said, pointing to my chest. I laughed.

  "Tell me about Kenneth," she said after a moment.

  "He looks like he's in some state of transition, hovering. His chart indicates he's about to change direction."

  I told her about the meeting with his father and the quasi cease-fire.

  "They're both getting older. It's time for them to settle things," she said, then turned thoughtful. "Does he talk about me much?"

  "Oh you're always in his thoughts," I said. "He often says, 'That's something Holly put in your head,' or 'Holly would have a lot to say about that.' "

  "Really?" She smiled. "I like it here. I've been thinking about leaving New York."

  "And Billy?"

  "I'm thinking about giving him the shop. He'd never leave New York."

  "Where will you live?" I asked.

  "We'll see," she said flashing a smile at me. "I'm about to discover if I can read my own future," she added. "I've got some strong indications." She beamed and looked back at the house.

  "I'd better get home," I said, uncertain if I should question her more. "We all have a big day tomorrow and thanks to Kenneth, I have to play my fiddle."

  "That's wonderful. Yes, it will be a big day." She took my hand and we ran over the sand dune in our bare feet, laughing, the stars glittering above us, the ocean smooth and gentle and full of promises. It was good to be happy again, to be full of hope.

  The next day, people showed up nearly a half hour early to be the first to get into the gallery. Grandma Olivia put on one of her finest dresses, and wore her string of pearls, her diamond bracelets and gold rings. When she appeared in the foyer, she did indeed look like a queen. Judge Childs came by for us, and in his dark blue suit he looked as handsome as I had ever seen him.

  "I tried to get Grant and Lillian to come," he said referring to his other children, "but they were both too busy with their own lives. It's a sad thing when families grow apart," he declared, which was something Grandma Olivia seconded heartedly.

  "Once you lose the ties that bind, you drift in the wind," she said. She looked at me after most of her deep pronouncements these days, making sure I took note.

  Cary, Aunt Sara and May, all dressed up, were waiting outside the gallery when we drove into the adjoining parking lot. Cary looked very handsome in his suit and tie and May, growing like summer corn, was already over five feet one. Even Aunt Sara had put on something bright and cheery and had dabbed on some makeup and lipstick.

  "They're just about to open the doors," Cary said as I got out of the Judge's vehicle. "Those people over there are reporters," he added, nodding toward a small crowd gathered on the sidewalk.

  "Ken here yet?" the Judge asked.

  "No sir. Haven't seen him."

  "Be just like him not to show up," Grandma Olivia muttered under her breath. "Well, Sara, how are you?"

  "I'm fair to middling, Olivia. It seems like only yesterday," she said, her pale lips trembling.

  "Well it's not only yesterday and we've all got to get on with our lives. This is a very happy, wonderful occasion for the Judge. You shouldn't be here if you're not up to it," she said sharply.

  Sara forced a smile.

  "Oh, I'm fine. And May's very excited about it," she said, nodding at Grandma Olivia's granddaughter, whom she had yet to acknowledge.

  "Tell her hello," she ordered and flashed a smile at May who smiled back and signed. Grandma Olivia didn't wait to find out what she said. She stepped forward with the Judge at her side. The gallery doors were opened and the people began to stream in, most greeting Grandma Olivia and the Judge before allowing them to pass through the crowd. Cary, Aunt Sara, May and I followed.

  Neptune's Daughter stood in the center of the room, covered with a sheet. The gallery owner, Laurence Baker, was a tall, lean man wearing a somber expression. The way he moved, gliding across the room, and his soft-spoken manner reminded me of an undertaker. His assistants, a man about twenty-four or -five and a woman who looked to be in her midthirties greeted people as well. There was some champagne already poured on long tables and some cold hors d'oeuvres alongside them. People went right for the free refreshments and wandered about the gallery looking at the other works of art while waiting for the unveiling.

  "Good afternoon, Judge Childs, good

  afternoon," Laurence Baker said. "And Mrs. Logan. Thank you all for coming."

  "Why wouldn't we come?" she snapped back at him. "Oh, I just meant . . . it's nice to see you," he said and slipped over to another couple.

  The gallery was soon full and Kenneth had not yet arrived. I was beginning to get butterflies in my stomach, thinking he might have decided not to appear. What would we do? How would the Judge handle it, and with the big party all set, the food, the music? I looked at Cary.

  "When you saw him last, did he say anything about not coming here?" I asked him.

  "He didn't say he wasn't, but he did tell me he wasn't happy about all the fuss."

  "You don't think . . . was he drinking today?"

  "No. Holly was there with him and they were just spending most of the day walking on the beach and talking. Well," he said with a tight smile, "maybe not just talking."

  "You didn't spy on them, did you, Cary Logan?"

  "No," he said indignantly. "I could just tell from the way they are acting that things are going well between them."

  I was about to apologize when we heard the crowd raise the volume of its murmur and turned to see Kenneth and Holly drive up to the front of the gallery in her tie-dyed car. Kenneth had put on a sports jacket, but he wore an old pair of dungarees and a pair of moccasins without socks. His shirt was opened at the collar.

  Holly wore one of her long dresses, sandals and beads that reached her waist. She had crystal earrings and a tiara made of crystals and other minerals.

  "Artists," Grandma Olivia muttered.

  Despite how Kenneth was dressed, he received an ovation when he entered the gallery. He smiled and nodded and escorted Holly to the foot of Neptune's Daughter.

  "Well," Laurence Baker said stepping up beside Kenneth, "now that the artist is here, we can unveil his creation. As you all know, Mr. Childs has named his work Neptune's Daughter. In your program he describes his own work as a view of Neptune's daughter emerging from the sea, metamorphosing into a beautiful woman. The piece attempts to capture that metamorphosis at a climactic point. Without further ado, let's allow Mr. Childs to unveil Neptune's Daughter."

  Kenneth stood there a moment, his eyes searching the crowd untilthey settled on me. He looked impishly happy. Everyone held their breath as Kenneth jerked the cord to reveal Neptune's Daughter. The sheet fell away from the statue and the audience released a single gasp, followed by loud applause.

  Grandma Olivia's eyes widened as her mouth opened, stretching the skin over her cheekbones. Then she turned to me and we both gazed at each other for a long moment. She knew I had been Kenneth's model, but she didn't expect to see a bare-breasted young woman emerging from the water. She turned back to the statue.

  "Well . . . well . . . well," Judge Childs muttered. "I told you this was his best work. What do you think of it, Olivia?"

  "I think it's shocking," she declared. "I never expected to see such a realistically portrayed female." She stepped forward and studied the face and then looked at the Judge.

  "I know," I heard him say.

  "I need some more champagne," Grandma Olivia declared and the Judge escorted her to the table. "What do you think of it, Aunt Sara?" I asked her.

  "It looks like Haille," she whispered. "Just like her."

  "Yes, it does."

  "Jacob wouldn't have approved," she noted and nodded. "No, that he wouldn't."

  "Dad didn't know anything about art," Cary said. Aunt Sara's face brightened.

  "No," she said, "
he didn't."

  I laughed and signed back and forth with May, who was very excited and loved the statue. We listened to other people complimenting it and complimenting Kenneth, who appeared as

  uncomfortable with adulation as a man standing in shoes two sizes too small.

  Cary and I were about to take May outside for some fresh air when Teddy Jackson, his wife Ann, his daughter, Michelle, and son, Adam, entered the gallery. A cold, electric chill shot through my spine. I hadn't seen the man who was my real father since I had returned, terrified of the moment when I would. Michelle, who disliked me intensely, was actually my half-sister. I couldn't help but search her face and Adam's for any resemblances among us.

  Fortunately, the Jacksons were quickly approached by the gallery owner and other members of the crowd.

  "Let's go," I urged Cary and we slipped outside.

  "It was getting hot in there. Mom's not coming to the party," Cary said. "She wants me to take her home first. I'll bring May and meet you up there later."

  "Okay, sure," I replied, still stunned by the sight of Teddy Jackson.

  "Are you going with Kenneth and Holly?"

  "Yes," I said. "I'm sort of assigned to him to make sure he shows," I added and Cary laughed.

  Less than an hour later, the invited guests began to leave the gallery to head up to Judge Childs's home. Kenneth and Holly emerged like two people escaping a long school detention and came laughing and hurrying toward me.

  "Let's get something to drink and quick," Kenneth cried. I took my fiddle out of the Judge's car and stepped into the jeep. We took off with Kenneth whooping up a storm. The wind played havoc with my hair, but my complaints went unheeded.

  "You got me into this," Kenneth shouted. "Grin and bear it."

  We were lucky. It was one of the nicest spring days, the wind warm and gentle, the sky almost turquoise with puffy dabs of clouds. When we arrived the trio was playing, valets were parking cars, balloons were bobbing in the wind. Kenneth and Holly headed straight for the outside bar. People converged around him, shaking his hand, patting him on the back. Holly and I helped ourselves to some of the hors d'oeuvres, and wandered about the grounds.

  "What a beautiful place," she remarked. I showed her some of the house as well. When we emerged, the Judge and Grandma Olivia had arrived and were well involved in conversations with the guests. I looked about but didn't see Cary or May anywhere. When I spotted the Jackson family again, I felt myself shrivel inside.