Books for Living
it’s green in there, a green vase,
and I ask Billy if I should return the difficult phone call, and he says, yes.
Billy’s already gone through the frightening door,
whatever he says I’ll do.
A Final Word
THE BOOKS I’ve written about in this one are a small sampling of the works that have been my companions: books I’ve read, misread, reread, and recommended. I’ve neglected to mention most of my favorites. And I’ve yet to read many books that will surely join that list, as I don’t yet know what they are. Some will be volumes written centuries ago, and some are being written right now.
I used to say that the greatest gift you could ever give anyone is a book. But I don’t say that anymore because I no longer think it’s true. I now say that a book is the second greatest gift. I’ve come to believe that the greatest gift you can give people is to take the time to talk with them about a book you’ve shared. A book is a great gift; the gift of your interest and attention is even greater.
Reading is a respite from the relentlessness of technology, but it’s not only that. It’s how I reset and recharge. It’s how I escape, but it’s also how I engage. And reading should spur further engagement.
When you read about injustice, you need to do something about it. Books have played a role in almost every one of the world’s great civil and human rights movements, but only because people who read them decided to act. Reading brings with it responsibility.
In this way, some books have already helped change the world. Other books have the power to do so, even if they haven’t quite yet. One of those, I believe, is The Importance of Living. That’s part of the reason I keep returning to it.
The Importance of Living is about the need to slow down and enjoy life. And about the importance of books and reading. But it is ultimately an impassioned plea for reason and humanity. Lin Yutang urged us to appreciate poetry and literature not just as good things in and of themselves, but also because they encourage a kind of humanized thinking that he felt was essential for the survival of our race. Lin believed that hope for our world resides in people’s adopting what he called the Spirit of Reasonableness, which he saw in the best of the Chinese traditions: “No one can be perfect; he can only aim at being a likable, reasonable human being.”
Writing this book in 1937, Lin was keenly aware of the dangers on the horizon in both Europe and Asia, and he was eager to make one thing particularly clear. “Communism and Fascism are both products of the same mind,” he warned in The Importance of Living. “Characteristic of both regimes and ideologies are, firstly, the sheer belief in force and power….”
Lin taught me that I don’t actually need a Ginsu-knife of a book. Nor, I suppose, do I really want one. In fact, the world tends to get into trouble when people claim that one particular book is the only book you need or should have, and especially when one group tries to force others to recognize their book as that one book.
Books remain one of the strongest bulwarks we have against tyranny—but only as long as people are free to read all different kinds of books, and only as long as they actually do so. The right to read whatever you want whenever you want is one of the fundamental rights that helps preserve all the other rights. It’s a right we need to guard with unwavering diligence. But it’s also a right we can guard with pleasure. Reading isn’t just a strike against narrowness, mind control, and domination: It’s one of the world’s great joys.
How we live is no trivial matter. Racing around in a state of agitation and greed and envy isn’t just wasting our lives; it’s a symbol of much that is wrong with our world. And reading all different kinds of books is not simply reading all different kinds of books; it’s a way of becoming more fully human and more humane.
When I read, I’m reminded to be more thoughtful about how I approach each day. And that’s not just important for living: it’s the least I can do for the dead.
I read to live. I read for life.
Acknowledgments
I am far more grateful than I can say to Sonny Mehta, for giving me the chance to write this book, for his comments and encouragement, and for his kindness. Also to Dan Frank, for his superb guidance and care, and to Betsy Sallee, who helped with a million and one things. And to Erinn Hartman, Kim Thornton Ingenito, Kate Runde, and Angie Venezia, who keep me happily busy and who always know the perfect thing to say and do. And to Paul Bogaards, Gabrielle Brooks, Carol Devine Carson, Robin Desser, Edward Kastenmeier, Chip Kidd, Stephanie Kloss, Nicholas Latimer, Cassandra Pappas, Victoria Pearson (including for the epigraph), Anne-Lise Spitzer, and Sean Yule. And to Chris Gillespie and the awesome Knopf sales team.
I’m equally blessed to have Two Roads as my UK publisher. Lisa Highton is a miracle: great friend, great publisher, and great drinking buddy. Thanks, too, to Fede Andornino.
I’m perpetually grateful to the remarkable team at Brockman Inc.: Max Brockman, John Brockman, Katinka Matson, Russell Weinberger, and Michael Healey.
In many ways, this book grew out of conversations with Alice Truax. She challenged me, coaxed me, and helped me at every turn throughout the entire process. Her contributions to this book and my life are enormous. There is no one better to have in your corner than Alice. She amazes me every time we talk.
Several friends read the manuscript at various stages. Marty Asher and Betsy Lerner gave me massive amounts of their time and genius. Lisa Queen is the person I turn to again and again when I need help writing, thinking about writing, or avoiding writing. She is one of the wisest people I know, and also one of the most generous.
Lin Yutang’s youngest daughter, Hsiang Ju Lin, spoke with me for hours. She and her sister Lin Taiyi also allowed me to bring Lin Yutang’s The Importance of Living back into print when I was at William Morrow.
Mimi Baer helped me with the section on her son David; Emily Harkins Filer shared wonderful stories about her daughter, Lee Harkins. I’m blessed to know them both.
The clever and resourceful Chloe Sarbib helped me with myriad tasks. Thanks, too, to Fred Courtright.
At work, I’m lucky to have an incredibly supportive boss, Andrew Weber, and terrific colleagues, including Kara Rota and Bryn Clark.
I’m also deeply blessed with wonderful friends. A few who were particularly helpful on this book were Tom Molner and Andy Brimmer, who continue to fortify me, amuse me, and house me during the summer; Molly O’Neil Frank, whose midlife calling to the chaplaincy inspired me; and Bill Reichblum, who has over decades introduced me to many of my favorite books (and beverages). And conversations with the following friends helped me on various chapters: Kedron Barrett, Rich Benjamin, Doris Cooper, Elisabeth Dyssegaard, Laurie Eustis, Jonathan Galassi, Emily Gould, Sara Holbrook Guggenheim, Hpoun, Zareen Jaffery, Walter Kaiser, Mollie Katzen, Larry Kramer, Jamie Lustberg, Bob Miller, Nahid Mozaffari, Marco Pasanella, Rebecca Robertson, Erika Robinson, David Shipley, the Tutorial, Will Winkelstein, and Naomi Wolf.
Some of the book was auditioned at Bob and Sally Edgar’s dinner table. Bob was a spectacular teacher, and he and Sally are spectacular friends. I also want to thank my pals Rocco DiSpirito and Rick Brenders for helping me look after myself. And immense thanks to Josef Astor for the epic gifts of his friendship and photography.
I can never sufficiently thank my father, Doug Schwalbe, for all he has done for me, and also for so many great conversations over many decades. Apple’s motto is “Think Different.” My father is someone who has always done exactly that. And my mother is also present here on every page.
I owe unbounded thanks to my brother, Doug, and my sister, Nina, for their constant love and support. Also to Sally Girvin and Nancy Lorenz. And to my aunts and uncles, cousins, godchildren, niece Lucy, and nephews: Nicolas, Adrian, Milo, and Cy.
And then there’s my husband, David Cheng. There are no words that can describe what he means to me. I could “count the ways,” but I can’t count that high.
Appendix
An alphab
etical listing of the authors, books, plays, poems, stories, and journal articles discussed or mentioned in Books for Living:
Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
Dante Alighieri, The Divine Comedy
Rudolfo Anaya, Bless Me, Ultima
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings
Diane Arbus, Diane Arbus: Revelations
Joaquim Maria Machado de Assis, Epitaph of a Small Winner (The Posthumous Memoirs of Brás Cubas)
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies
James Baldwin, Giovanni’s Room; The Fire Next Time
J. M. Barrie, The Little White Bird; Peter Pan
Joseph Beam
Robert Benchley
Rose Levy Beranbaum, The Cake Bible
The Bhagavad Gita
The Bible
Isabella Bird
Edward de Bono, Lateral Thinking: An Introduction (first published as The Use of Lateral Thinking)
Boston Women’s Health Book Collective, Our Bodies, Ourselves
John Boswell
Jane Bowles
Paul Bowles
Charlotte Brontë
Emily Brontë, Wuthering Heights
Rebecca Brown, The Gifts of the Body
Pearl S. Buck, The Good Earth
Anthony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange
Samuel Butler, The Way of All Flesh
Toby C. Campbell, M.D., “When Minutes Matter,” The Journal of the American Medical Association (JAMA) 314, no. 17.
Truman Capote
Miguel de Cervantes, Don Quixote
Chang Ch’ao
Bruce Chatwin
Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
G. K. Chesterton, What’s Wrong with the World
Lee Child, Killing Floor
Winston Churchill
John Ciardi, Manner of Speaking; The Little That Is All: “East Sixty-seventh Street” and “A Poem for Benn’s Graduation from High School”; “Washing Your Feet”; The Divine Comedy (translation)
Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
Suzanne Collins, The Hunger Games series
Laurie Colwin, Home Cooking; More Home Cooking
Confucius
e e cummings
Dianne Mott Davidson, Sticks & Scones
Patrick Dennis, Auntie Mame
Charles Dickens, David Copperfield
Isak Dinesen, “Babette’s Feast”
Melvin Dixon
Hilda “H.D.” Dolittle
John Donne, “Death Be Not Proud”
Rita Dove
Mahmoud Dowlatabadi
Arthur Conan Doyle
Charles Duhigg, The Power of Habit
Albert Einstein
Louise Erdrich, Love Medicine
Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate
Sebastian Faulks, Birdsong
Robert Ferro
F. Scott Fitzgerald
Gustave Flaubert, Madame Bovary
Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl
Ford Madox Ford, The Good Soldier
E. M. Forster
Robert Frost
William Golding, Lord of the Flies
Marshall Goldsmith, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There
Henry Green
John Grisham, The Confession
Michael Grumley
John Gunther, Death Be Not Proud
Edward T. Hall, The Hidden Dimension
Paula Hawkins, The Girl on the Train
Essex Hemphill
Eugen Herrigel, Zen in the Art of Archery
James Hilton, Goodbye, Mr. Chips
S. E. Hinton, The Outsiders
Vyvyan Holland, Son of Oscar Wilde
Homer, The Iliad; The Odyssey
Vincent C. Horrigan and Raymond V. Schoder, A Reading Course in Homeric Greek
Marie Howe, What The Living Do: “My Dead Friends”
Robert Hughes, The Fatal Shore
Thomas Hughes, Tom Brown’s School Days
Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
Aldous Huxley, The Perennial Philosophy
William Inge, The Dark at the Top of the Stairs
Christopher Isherwood, A Single Man; Christopher and His Kind
Arturo Islas
The Jākata (Stories of the Buddha’s Former Births)
William James
Franz Kafka
Yasunari Kawabata
Marie Kondo, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up
The Koran
Larry Kramer
Milan Kundera
Stephen E. Lahey, John Wyclif
Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird; Traveling Mercies; Help, Thanks, Wow; Stitches
John Lanchester, The Debt to Pleasure
Nigella Lawson, Feast
Bruce Lee, Tao of Jeet Kune Do
Stan Leventhal
Edna Lewis, The Taste of Country Cooking
Hsiang Ju Lin and Tsuifeng Lin, Chinese Gastronomy
Lin Yutang, My Country and My People; The Importance of Living; Between Tears and Laughter
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Listen! The Wind; Gift from the Sea
Joan Lindsay, Picnic at Hanging Rock
Livy (Titus Livius)
Rosa Luxemburg
Thomas Mann, Death in Venice
Xavier de Maistre, A Journey Around My Room; A Nocturnal Expedition Around My Room
Daphne du Maurier, Rebecca
Mayo Clinic Family Health Book
Herman Melville, Moby-Dick; “Bartleby, the Scrivener: A Story of Wall Street”
Arthur Miller, Death of a Salesman
Rohinton Mistry, A Fine Balance
Paul Monette
Marianne Moore
Jan Morris
Toni Morrison, Song of Solomon
Mohammed Mrabet
Haruki Murakami, A Wild Sheep Chase; The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle; Kafka on the Shore; What I Talk About When I Talk About Running; IQ84
Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita
Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran
Christopher Nolan, Under the Eye of the Clock
George Orwell, 1984
Ruth Ozeki, A Tale for the Time Being
R. J. Palacio, Wonder
Shahrnush Parsipur
Walter Pater, Marius the Epicurean
Nathaniel Philbrick, In the Heart of the Sea
Robert M. Pirsig, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
Plato
Pliny the Younger
Plutarch, Plutarch’s Lives
John Preston
Erich Maria Remarque
Faith Ringgold, Tar Beach
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter series
John Ruskin
Vito Russo
Assotto Saint
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Maurice Sendak, Where the Wild Things Are
William Shakespeare, King Lear; Hamlet
George Bernard Shaw, Bernard Shaw: Complete Plays with Prefaces
Randy Shilts
Samuel Smiles, Self-Help (with Illustrations of Character and Content)
Socrates
Andrew Solomon, Far from the Tree
Muriel Spark, The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie
Bryan Stevenson, Just Mercy
William Strunk Jr. and E. B. White, The Elements of Style
Jacqueline Susann, Valley of the Dolls
Sir Wilfred Thesiger
Henry David Thoreau, Walden
A Thousand and One Nights
Monique Truong, The Book of Salt
Mark Twain
John Updike
Gore Vidal, The City and the Pillar
Alice Waters
Alec Waugh, The Loom of Youth
Evelyn Waugh, Brideshead Revisited
Eudora Welty
E. B. White, Stuart Little; Charlotte’s Web; The Trumpet of the Swan; The Elements of Style (with William Strunk Jr.); Letters of E. B. White
/> Oscar Wilde
Tennessee Williams
Vera B. Williams, “More More More,” Said the Baby
Percival Christopher Wren, Beau Geste
Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life
Yüan Chunglang
PERMISSIONS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Machado de Assis, excerpts from Epitaph of a Small Winner, translated by William L. Grossman. Copyright © 1952 by William Grossman. Reprinted by permission of Farrar, Straus & Giroux, LLC.
Rebecca Brown, excerpts from The Gifts of the Body. Copyright © 1994 by Rebecca Brown. Reprinted by permission of the author and her agents Harold Schmidt Literary Agency and HarperCollins Publishers.
John Ciardi, excerpts from “East Sixty-Seventh Street” and “A Poem for Benn’s Graduation from High School” from The Collected Poems, edited by Edward M. Cifelli. Copyright © 1974 by John Ciardi. Reprinted with the permission of The Permissions Company, Inc., on behalf of the University of Arkansas Press, www.uapress.com. Excerpt from book jacket for John Ciardi, The Little That Is All. Reprinted with the permission of Rutgers University Press.
Xavier de Maistre, excerpts from A Journey Around My Room, translated by Andrew Brown. Copyright © 2013 by Andrew Brown. Reprinted with the permission of Alma Classics Ltd.
John Gunther, excerpts from Death Be Not Proud. Copyright © 1949 by John Gunther. Reprinted by permission of Jane Perry Gunther and HarperCollins Publishers.
Eugen Herrigel, excerpts from Zen in the Art of Archery, translated by R. F. C. Hull. Copyright © 1953 and renewed © 1981 by Pantheon Books, a division of Random House, Inc., and renewed 1981 by Random House, Inc. Used by permission of Pantheon Books, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
Marie Howe, “My Dead Friends,” from What the Living Do. Copyright © 1998 by Marie Howe. Used by permission of W. W. Norton & Company, Inc.
Edna Lewis, excerpts from The Taste of Country Cooking. Copyright © 1976 by Edna Lewis. Used by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.
Anne Morrow Lindbergh, excerpts from Gift from the Sea. Copyright © 1955, 1975 by Anne Morrow Lindbergh, renewed 1983 by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. Copyright renewed © 2003 by Jon Lindbergh, Land M. Lindbergh, Scott Morrow Lindbergh, and Reeve Lindbergh. Introduction copyright © 2005 by Reeve Lindbergh. Used by permission of Pantheon Books, an imprint of the Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC. All rights reserved.