Verity

  Dawn casually rested her hand on Nathan’s chest. “Ready to walk us to our next class?”

  The bell rang and Nathan checked his watch with a frown. “I suppose I had better go….” He looked over at me, so I nodded at him to let him know I would wait for Amelia. I got the feeling he didn’t want anyone else to know she was upset.

  “Thanks again, Perdita,” he said before he walked off, followed by Dawn and Abbi. Abbi looked behind her and gave me a quick sympathetic smile, but my good humour had disappeared.

  Amelia wasn’t long. Her eyes were a little less red looking. “Where did Nathan go?”

  “Ah, Dawn came and claimed him.” I tried to look cheerful.

  She rolled her eyes. “I should disown him for being mates with her.”

  “She can be nice when she feels like it. I mean, she’s popular for a reason,” I told Amelia as we walked toward our classrooms.

  “Yeah, ‘cos she’s a scary biatch. I meant what I said earlier by the way, about you all coming over. You anyway. You could come over for dinner or something.”

  “Shouldn’t you let your family know before you start inviting random strangers to your house?” I reminded her.

  “You so don’t count as a stranger.” She said it lightly, but again, the intensely serious look on her face unsettled me. She gave a little wave and hurried off to her side of the building leaving me wondering.

  Too agitated to think straight, I strolled to my own class. The only thoughts in my head were how it felt to be so close to Nathan, and yet how easy it was for people like Dawn to stand in front of me. The story of my life, and it was about time I changed it. Tammie hadn’t exactly helped my mood by being so unnecessarily nasty to Amelia.

  As soon as I stepped into my classroom, Dawn burst into exaggerated giggles. Her laughter felt like razor blades running across my skin. She was so obvious about everything. I felt like sneering right back at her, instead I eyed her as boldly as I dared. She whispered loudly to some of the people next to her, invoking the predictable chorus of laughter. Aaron Hannigan observed me with some interest as if I had just been born that second in front of him.

  “Settle down,” the teacher said. “As for you, Ms. Rivers, you’re late.”

  I shrugged. “Sorry.”

  As I walked past some of the desks to get to an empty seat, Dawn pushed her school bag into my path. I kicked it back under her desk with an enormous amount of satisfaction.

  “Eh, do you mind?” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

  “Eh, do you mind keeping your shit to yourself?” I didn’t stutter, and it felt great.

  Dawn whirled around to look at her friends. “The cheek of that one.”

  Nathan and Aaron both looked mildly amused, but the girls all gasped in mock horror.

  Tammie grinned up at me, but I walked straight past her and sat at an empty table. I needed to be alone. I didn’t know exactly what was wrong with me, but I figured it was a little of everything. Tammie’s treatment of Amelia because she was jealous, Nathan making me think it might be possible he liked me a little and then running off with anyone who demanded his attention, and finally Dawn’s incessant needling. It hadn’t been just that week; she had always tried her best to make either myself or Tammie feel stupid or insecure.

  Tammie tried in vain to catch my eye throughout the rest of the class, but I was busy working myself up into a tight ball of rage. As soon as the bell rang, she was up and in front of my desk, blocking my way so I would have to speak to her.

  “Are you seriously going to start ignoring me now?”

  I wasn’t in the habit of standing up to my Dad or Dawn, but I had never done it to Tammie either. I was sick of being a doormat for everyone. I had to admit I might have been a tiny bit hormonal, or hormental as Tammie liked to say.

  “Just leave me alone. I’m not in the humour for this.” I tried to warn her, but she had to push it. Just because she could. That usually worked with me, but things were changing. I was changing.

  “You’re going to pick a new kid over me? Some friend you are!”

  “Piss off Tamara. You’re the one always forcing people to pick sides, and now that I think about it, you’re the only one making sides. Would you ever stop and cop on and think about what you say for a change? Why do you have to be a bitch for absolutely no reason? And how could you bring up my Mam like that? You know I hate talking about her. And comparing that whole thing with someone whose mother died just to make them feel bad was low, even for you!”

  The ever shrinking sensible part of me deep inside was screaming at me to shut up, or at least calm down, but I was on a roll.

  “Perdy, settle down,” Joey said, getting involved as always and riling me up even more.

  “Is this your business? Just because you don’t have the balls to stick up for anyone else doesn’t mean it has to run in the family, you know.”

  Visibly taken aback, he was probably a little hurt, but I was beyond caring. Dawn pretty much cackled behind him. “So funny when the loners turn on each other.”

  I pointed my finger at her, furious now. “If you don’t shut the fu…”

  “Okay, relax girls,” Nathan interrupted, standing in front of me with his arms out like he was shielding Dawn.

  “What are you, her bodyguard?”

  He laughed at me. He actually laughed at me. I was seconds away from exploding, and he had to go and laugh at me. What kind of an idiot laughs at someone on a rampage? Dawn peeked out from behind him with the most annoyingly smug expression I had ever seen. My hand itched to slap it off her face.

  “Don’t mind him,” Tammie said. “He’s just as bad as her. Let’s go.”

  She pulled me by the arm, taking advantage of the situation the second my anger was directed elsewhere. I followed without thinking, glaring at Nathan as I stormed past him. His forehead wrinkled, but he moved out of our way.

  “Girls,” Joey muttered, picking up our bags and shuffling after us. Out in the hall, Tammie made a show of giving me a big hug when the others walked by. I was still vibrating with anger. She held me tight while Dawn looked me up and down, as if sensing I was at snapping point and might do something that would get me into a lot of trouble with my Dad.

  “Let’s go shopping or something,” she whispered in my ear.

  “What, now?”

  “Yeah, why not? We could use a break. Joey will cover for us.”

  Joey sighed when she asked for his help but agreed to try and keep us out of trouble. I was more than willing to get out of school because I was close to tears. The anger I had been feeling had floated away, leaving me with an awful feeling of melancholy and a lump in my throat. All I could think about was how Nathan had pretty much protected Dawn from me. She was the bully and tormentor in our year, and he was protecting her from me? It was one of those days—I knew if I didn’t get away from everyone that I’d go completely overboard and say or do something I would absolutely regret.

  I sent Amelia a text letting her know we were ditching. I hoped she wouldn’t be mad at me for kind of rowing with her brother and being friends with Tammie again already. She didn’t text me back, so I figured she was probably annoyed at me.

  We snuck out of school and caught a bus into town. It’s a lot easier to ditch when you don’t have a school uniform. It was the first time I had ever left school when I wasn’t supposed to, but I was tired of worrying about rules. It was nice to make a choice for myself for a change.

  Our first stop was a chocolate milkshake in a fast food restaurant on Grafton Street. We sat there for at least an hour, sharing chips and getting funny looks from the cleaning staff.

  “So, what’s the deal with you, Perdy?” Tammie said at last. “You’re acting so different lately. Even before today, I mean. I get today, well, sort of. But what’s going on with you?”

  I shrugged. “Dunno. Just feel different.”

  “You flipped out a bit earlier,” she said, hesitant, as if she was afraid I’d l
ose it on her.

  I couldn’t help laughing. “Yeah, I did a bit. I blame Dawn. Everywhere I turn, she’s there mocking me over something. It’s starting to get in on me.”

  “I thought you were going to smack her one,” Tammie said, her face lighting up at the memory.

  “I don’t know what I was going to do.”

  “Then stupid new boy stepped in and ruined it.” Tammie made a face; she had always wanted to see somebody smack Dawn Talbot hard.

  I made a face too but for different reasons.

  “I think she’s jealous of you,” Tammie said.

  I spluttered into my milkshake. “You what?”

  “Really. I think she’s getting at you because she likes Nathan.”

  “What’s that got to do with me?”

  “Well, you’re making friends with his sister, so you’ll probably be around him. And he looks at you an awful lot.”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, he doesn’t. And lots of people are going to be friends with his sister. Doesn’t mean a thing.”

  “I’m just saying. I think she’s afraid he’s going to like you instead of her. I would be, if I was her.”

  I looked at Tammie like she had four heads. “Are we living in two different worlds or what? He sits with her, not me. He talks to her, not me. He picked up for her, not me. Think it’s pretty clear she has no worries. Besides, she was getting at me long before Nathan Evans came along.”

  “That’s ‘cos you were friends with me. This is different. As for him, maybe he’s shy. Just because he sits with all them doesn’t mean he likes her. And I think he was just stepping in to calm everyone down. I don’t think he was really picking up for anyone, Perdy.” She looked thoughtful for a minute. “You know, it would really annoy Dawn if he liked you.”

  “No!”

  She flinched. “What? I haven’t even suggested anything yet!” She tried to look innocent, but the fit of husky laughter she burst into ruined the effect. I knew Tammie too well; she would have enjoyed it if I tried to make Nathan like me just to ruin Dawn’s day.

  “Don’t even think about it, okay? Besides, I reckon there’s more chance of him liking Abbi than Dawn.”

  “How do you figure that?” she said, frowning.

  “Abbi is prettier than Dawn, and she’s nicer too.”

  Tammie looked horrified.

  “I don’t mean she’s nice,” I amended. “Just that she’s not as evil as Dawn.”

  Tammie considered this. “She is prettier. Dawn’s lips are too thin, and her eyes are a bit sly and squinty. But he doesn’t seem to notice any of them in that kind of way. Maybe he has a thing for redheads,” she added with a grin. “I wonder would Amelia know. I’m going to ask her.”

  “No, you’re not. And while we’re on the subject, you have to be nicer to Amelia,” I lectured.

  She was wise enough to look abashed. “Okay, so I was trying to be mean to her before, but you saw Joey. He’s going to like her. I just know it.”

  “So what? That doesn’t mean anything. Anyway, if you like him so much then tell him instead of chasing off anyone who hasn’t even expressed an interest yet.”

  “I can’t.” She shook her head.

  “Why? What’s the worst that could happen? At least you’ll know and stop living in limbo land.”

  “Worst that could happen… let me think. Oh, yeah, he doesn’t like me back, it gets all awkward, and then we can’t even be friends?” She was a little too sarcastic for my liking.

  “Just tell him. Or jump on him. I don’t know. But get it over and done with before somebody else does, and you miss your chance. How can you win if you’re acting like you’re not in the race?”

  She stared at me, considering. “Do you really think someone else will get stuck in if I don’t?”

  I hesitated. “Well, some day, yeah. I don’t think girls are going to be kicking down his door or anything, but imagine if one of Dawn’s crowd took a liking to him. And they ended up getting married or something. Then we’d be stuck with them forever all because you couldn’t tell him you liked him.” I sat back and watched her face tense up. I knew mentioning the D word would get her going.

  “Oh, my God. I am not going to be his bridesmaid. I’d have to be his bridesmaid, Perdy. And then, then they’d throw the bouquet thing, and I wouldn’t catch it, and I’d live alone forever except for all my cats. I’d be a cat lady.” Tammie frowned. “No, wait, I hate cats. I’d be Miss Havisham!”

  “Who?”

  “You know, the one who sits in her wedding dress forever. I’d buy a dress and wear it all the time, except my house wouldn’t be mouldy.”

  She went bizarrely far with my scenario, but whatever worked was fine with me. She was way too possessive over Joey without actually staking a claim, and I knew the only way for her to accept Amelia into our group was if Tammie became too busy trying to catch Joey’s eye.

  She stopped hyperventilating long enough to grin at me wickedly. “So, I guess that means you can’t get mad at Dawn, considering you haven’t told Nathan you’re interested in him.”

  My frown was so deep I could barely see her. “I never said I was interested in anybody.”

  “Oh, please! Don’t even think about denying it. You can’t even say a full sentence when he’s around. You nearly wet yourself if he smiles at you. You. Are. Smitten.”

  “I’ll have you know I’ve already said a few sentences to him.” It was pretty much true.

  She patted my arm. “Sure you did. You lurve him.”

  “I don’t. I just… he’s quite easy on the eye is all.”

  She snorted with laughter. “Easy on the eye? Sure, that’s all it is. Don’t get in denial about it; I’ve known you for years, and I’ve never seen you like this before. You can barely look at him without blushing.”

  “Oh, so what! He’ll say something stupid tomorrow, and I won’t like him anymore. Big deal.” I slumped back in my chair feeling annoyed. I hoped he wouldn’t say anything stupid.

  Tammie’s eyes grew wide. “You really do like him, don’t you?”

  I shrugged. I didn’t want to fuel those particular flames, but I couldn’t exactly lie about it either. At least not in a believable way.

  “Aw, poor you. It’s going to be hard hanging around with his sister when you like him,” she said.

  “No bother. I’ll be over it in a few days.”

  “What, like me?” she said softly.

  I gulped. I saw her point. She had started off with a tiny crush that progressed into a full on obsession with my cousin. And he wasn’t even good looking. I must have looked stricken because she leaned over and gave me a hug.

  “It’ll be okay, Perdy. He’s noticed you. It’ll be different for you,” she said, but her reassurance didn’t work on me.

  “Like I said before, we must be living in two different worlds. Now, when are you going to talk to Joey?”

  She paled at the thought. “I need something new to wear. And somewhere to go. And someone else to tell him for me.” We giggled together until one of the cleaners cleared their throat and wiped down our table for the fifth or sixth time. We decided it was time to start shopping.

  We wandered up Grafton Street, stopping to listen to the occasional busker. At the entrance to Stephen’s Green Shopping Centre, a man gave me a leery smile. I might not have noticed him, but his eyes were a strangely yellow shade of amber that attracted my attention. He seemed familiar, but it wasn’t until we passed him by that I remembered he had been standing across from our school the day before. I looked back to check, but I couldn’t see him anymore and assumed I had been mistaken.

  We spent the rest of the day trawling the clothes shops and picking up a couple of sale bargains. For once, shopping cheered me up a little. Until I got home.

  Gran was waiting for me in the kitchen. “What did you get?” she said, spying my bag. I shoved it at her. She looked at the contents and nodded.

  “So, is this where you were during your last
couple of classes today?” she asked sternly.

  I groaned and sank into a chair across from her.

  “Indeed. Your school rang me and asked where you were. I told them you had come home sick with my permission. Do you have a good reason for me to lie for you, or should I call them straight back with the truth?”

  “Ah, Gran, stop. I didn’t ask you to lie. I was having a really bad day, okay? I was ready to hit someone, so I figured it would be better to step away than end up in trouble for flipping out at school.”

  She studied me for a couple of minutes. “That actually sounds like a good reason to me. The real problem is your father. What’s stopping me from telling him the truth? Nothing. At least, not yet.”

  Her eyes took on a mischievous glint, and I knew she was up for making a deal.

  “What do you want?” I asked, wary because I knew she would think of something either ridiculous or embarrassing. Probably both.

  “I want you to wear your hair down for the rest of the week,” she said with a cheeky grin. “And no navy jumpers either. In fact, no dark clothes at all. I want you to look like a girl for the whole week.”

  “Gran!” I protested. “You’re not serious!”

  “I’m deadly serious. Unless you want your father to have you homeschooled for going on the hop?”

  I couldn’t believe my grandmother sometimes. But knowing her, this was my only choice. I hated wearing my hair down, but at least I would be able to sort of hide behind it. The clothes part wouldn’t be too bad, but she reaped some kind of sadistic pleasure from me bringing attention on myself. When she was younger, she worked as a club singer and had long, dark red hair like mine. She always brushed my hair and said it was wasted on me because I didn’t use it to my advantage. Whatever that meant.

  I ran upstairs to hide my shopping bag from my Dad and decided to give Amelia a call. I was still afraid she was mad at me.

  “Hey, Amelia. It’s Perdy.”