The Amish Spaceman

LIN PREPARED A DINNER of noodles and vegetables foreign to anyone born east of Lodi. Dean disliked trying to remember what the dishes were called because something important would have to be shoved out of his brain. Did he want to replace the memory of stripping off his clothes as a six-year-old and running happily through the pasture until his mother called the state policeman who slipped in a cow-pie and broke his leg, with the name of a vegetable dish? Exactly.

  As Lin’s boss, mentor, and now sub-lettor, Dean felt uncomfortable making small talk at the dinner table. After approximately thirty seconds, however, Chip’s bored expression began to grind away at his patience.

  “So, Chip, me ol’ mucka me ol’ pal ... I thought you were at Stanford.”

  “I was. I quit a few months ago.”

  Lin smiled broadly. “He’s an entrepreneur now.”

  Dean covered his mouth and leaned closer to her. “I know this is California, but that’s too personal,” he whispered. “I don’t need to know these things.”

  “What are you talking about Dean? He’s got his own company.”

  “Right. Yes, I see. That’s what I meant, of course. Does this company make video games?”

  “No, just playing and recording them for a million subscribers,” said Chip, through a mouthful of noodles. “I had an interview with the L.A. Times last week, and Microsoft wants me to host their awards show at E3.”

  “What’s an E3?”

  “Only the biggest electronic entertainment expo in the world.”

  “He makes twelve thousand a month,” said Lin.

  Dean coughed and a bit of green vegetable flew from his mouth.

  “I see,” he said hoarsely. “Do you think I could record a few videos? I’m extremely good at Transport Tycoon, and in college I was so well known for playing Uncharted Waters that they called me ... ‘that guy that plays Uncharted Waters.’ ”

  Chip shoved more noodles into his mouth and chewed slowly for a change. He swallowed at last and cleared his throat.

  “Subscribers want the latest games like Irresponsible Dad or PTSD Babe. Transport Tycoon––even if we’re talking about the deluxe version––was popular in Germany twenty years ago and won’t get you viewers or have the gaming industry beating a path to your door.”

  Someone began beating on the door. On the off-chance that it was still security from the publisher’s building, Dean turned out the lights and motioned for Lin and Chip to keep quiet. After an uncomfortably long wait the knocking ceased.

  The three finished the meal in complete darkness. This gave Dean a feeling of security, which was balanced by the fact that he dropped half a quart of noodles in his lap and knocked over a bottle of wine.