Rain

  "Really? When?" I asked.

  "Tomorrow morning. Doctor Lewis isn't taking any chances with her changing her mind. Good work," he added, and I got into the car quickly, more anxious than ever to get back to see what she would say.

  As soon as I entered the house, Merilyn rushed out of the kitchen to greet me. She had obviously been lingering near the doorway, listening for my arrival. The look on her face told me she was under some strain and angry at me, too. I suspected Grandmother Hudson took out her frustration and rage on her, whipping her more with criticism and commands.

  "Mrs. Hudson wants to see you immediately," she proclaimed with satisfaction. "It looks like you've caused a lot of trouble in the short time you've been here. I'm not surprised," she muttered.

  I imagined that she was hoping I would be thrown out now. I didn't respond. I ran up the stairs and to my grandmother's bedroom. She was exactly where I had left her propped up with pillows. I tapped on the open door.

  "Come in, come in," she said quickly.

  "Hi."

  "Hi? Don't put on that sweetness and innocent look your mother has made a classic. You know what you did. I hope you're satisfied now," she began. "You called Doctor Lewis without telling me and he is insisting I get that damn pacemaker or not call him anymore. It's so infuriating. You can't control what happens to your own body these days," she

  complained. She fixed her eyes on me. "Everyone sticks her two cents in. Even those you think you can trust."

  "I was worried about you," I said, "so I called the doctor."

  "Nonsense?'

  "It's not nonsense. It's prudent behavior. Adult behavior," I added.

  She sucked in her cheeks and tightened her lips as she looked at me.

  "You think you're wise enough already to know what's adult behavior for someone else and what isn't?"

  "Yes," I insisted.

  She shook her head, but her expression softened from one of annoyance and petulance to one of reluctant approval.

  "Your Mama, as you call her, must have done a very good job of raising you and your brother and sister, under those dreadful circumstances. Very well, what's done is done. Let's not argue about it. Whatever happens, happens."

  "What time are they doing it?" I asked.

  "Tomorrow at ten. I have been assured it's a simple procedure nowadays, but that's just a doctor's propaganda. I don't know anything that's simple these days, except some of the people who come to work for me, and, even some who come to live with me," she added looking like a spoiled child.

  "I'll stay home from school and go along," I said. Her head jerked up.

  "You will not. That's ridiculous."

  "But--"

  "Think about it, Miss Prudent Behavior, Miss Adult Behavior. Why would you? You're just a guest here," she reminded me sharply.

  I swallowed my disappointment. I had been hoping she had come to see me differently, but holding onto our secret was still important to her. Family name remained the highest priority to be guarded at all costs. I might always be a stranger in this home and family. It was a hard lump to swallow.

  "What about my mother and Victoria?"

  "Reluctantly, I phoned them. Victoria will be here shortly. Megan says she'll be at the hospital tomorrow. I'd be better off if neither of them showed up," she added.

  "Why? They're your daughters. They should be at your side."

  "Holding my hand?" She laughed. "They'll only make everyone nervous and Victoria will argue with the doctors and the hospital administrator about the cost of an aspirin," she said.

  I had to laugh, envisioning just what she described. She calmed down and asked me to tell her about school, my riding lessons and the play rehearsals. I showed her some of my test scores and grades on essays and she lifted her eyebrows, impressed.

  "I must confess," she said, "that when Megan told me about you and it was decided you would attend Dogwood, I didn't think it would be for long. I couldn't imagine anyone coming from where you come from and doing well in that school?'

  "Thank you," I said. "I think."

  She laughed and then she told me to go see about dinner.

  "That girl will be a slacker if we don't watch her," Grandmother Hudson said. I smiled to myself. For the first time since I had come, she had said, "we."

  Merilyn was sullen, especially when she found out I wasn't in any serious trouble. I thought she had overcooked the roast beef and made the potatoes too greasy. I wasn't anxious about having her bring the food up to Grandmother Hudson, but she ignored my comments and acted as if I wasn't even in the same room. When I finished eating what I could, I went back up to Grandmother Hudson's bedroom and as I expected, discovered she had eaten little.

  My Aunt Victoria arrived about an hour after dinner. Despite her mother's health crisis, she'd made sure she completed her business at work before she'd come. She as much as said so when she came up to Grandmother Hudson's room. I know she was surprised to see me there. She carried a briefcase and put it on the bed. Then she turned to me.

  "I understand you were the one who called the doctor," she said to me.

  "Yes."

  "Why didn't you call me or my sister first?" she demanded.

  "I thought it was important to get the doctor as quickly as possible and you never gave me your phone number," I said.

  "Did my mother ask you to call the doctor?" she cross-examined.

  "Stop treating the girl as if she is a common criminal, Victoria;' Grandmother Hudson said.

  Victoria glared at me for a moment and then turned away, mumbling.

  "It was still a nervy thing to do. She's only a guest in this house."

  "I did what I thought was right and the doctor apparently agrees," I fired back at her.

  She ignored me and opened the briefcase.

  "We have a few papers to review, Mother, and documents you must sign," she said taking out one folder after another and laying them at Grandmother Hudson's feet.

  "Now?"

  "I didn't get much warning about all this," she complained. "You're going to have a serious procedure on your heart, Mother. There are some loose ends to close with the estate," she told her.

  I nearly gasped aloud. This is what concerned her? Loose ends with the estate? She had yet to ask a single question about the medical procedure or the diagnosis. She saw my mouth fall open and smirked at me.

  "Could you excuse us, please," she

  commanded. "This is personal."

  I looked at my grandmother and then stood up.

  "There's no reason to chase her away, Victoria. You know I don't sign anything or do anything without my accountant. Just bring it all to him. Go on," Grandmother Hudson said waving at the papers as if they were annoying flies, "put it all away."

  "But Mother--"

  "Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait," Grandmother Hudson asserted.

  "Not if something should happen to you," Victoria pursued. "Then we'll just have bigger problems."

  "That's a terrible thing to put into her head. Nothing's going to happen to her, and the doctor said she shouldn't be disturbed, especially tonight. He's given her something to keep her calm," I interjected.

  Victoria spun on me so fast, I nearly fell over from the wind,

  "I thought I asked you to leave. This is a family matter. Your opinions are not of any importance to me."

  Through the corners of my eyes, I saw my grandmother watching me with interest. She actually looked invigorated by the exchange between me and Victoria.

  "Your mother's health is the most important family matter. I promised the doctor I would see that she was relaxed tonight. Rather than yell at me, you should be grateful," I charged.

  Her face turned a dark shade of crimson as the veins in her neck strained.

  Grandmother Hudson was smiling.

  "I've never had so many people look after my interests," she said. She looked at Victoria. "It makes me want to live forever."

  Victoria looked like she was cho
king on a peach pit. "I'm just trying to do the right thing," she whined. "Daddy would have expected me to."

  Reluctantly, she put the folders back and closed her briefcase. A few moments later she decided she had to go downstairs to get herself something cold to drink and make some very important phone calls. I never saw anyone as busy as she was and told Grandmother Hudson so.

  "I suspect that half of what she does is really unnecessary," she said. "My husband accomplished a great deal more with far less effort."

  Her eyelids looked heavier and heavier. I took the cup of tea from her hand and puffed up her pillows. Whatever the doctor had given her to calm her was having its desired effect, I thought. I told her good night and left to do my homework.

  A half hour or so later, I heard Victoria come back upstairs and I opened my door a crack to watch her look in on Grandmother Hudson. She stood in the bedroom doorway. I knew Grandmother Hudson was already fast asleep. After a few moments, Victoria went stomping toward the stairway, casting a rapid glance at my door, her eyes red with fury.

  I took the sight of them to sleep with me and fretted in and out of nightmares, seeing Victoria everywhere, even back in D.C., running along with Jerad and his pack, who were after me. She carried that damn briefcase and clutched it like a mallet, eager to pound me over the head with it.

  Doctor Lewis had arranged for an ambulance to transport Grandmother Hudson to the hospital. She was angry about that, demanding to know why she just couldn't have Jake drive her there in the Rolls.

  "An ambulance," she declared, "isn't going to be any more comfortable and will just attract a lot of unnecessary attention?'

  I began to understand that Grandmother Hudson thought of illness as weakness, something to be ashamed of, and not something beyond one's control. She wanted to keep her pacemaker procedure secret, go in and out of the hospital without any fanfare, and never tell another soul what had been done.

  Once again I tried to get her to give me permission to go along, but she was even more insistent that I didn't. Just when I got into the Rolls to go to school, the ambulance arrived. Jake watched the attendants rush up the stairs.

  "Wait until they meet her," he said. "She'll slow them down." He glanced at me. "Don't worry about her. She's not going to die until she's good and ready."

  I nodded. He might not be all wrong about that, I thought. She had the grit to stand up to the Grim Reaper and tell him to go back outside and wait to be properly introduced.

  For most of the day, I found it difficult to give my classes my complete attention. My eyes were continually drawn to the clock. Some of my teachers probably thought I was bored with their classes and was looking forward to the bell. The lunch hour came and went and my afternoon classes began. I had halfexpected and hoped that my mother would call the school and have someone give me an update on Grandmother's surgery, but no one called.

  My horse, Flagler, seemed to sense my distraction and continually wagged her head and challenged the reins during my lesson. For no reason she broke into a trot and I bounced like a rubber doll in the saddle, bringing laughter to Mr. Drewitt's lips. When I dismounted, he told me I was walking like a bowlegged drunken sailor.

  I was terrible at rehearsal, missing lines, forgetting stage positions and moves, speaking with a voice barely audible from the first row. Maureen was at this rehearsal and sat with a smile of satisfaction on her face every time Mr. Bufurd had to remind me of something or ask me to project more.

  "Aren't you feeling well?" Audrey asked me in a whisper when we were both in the wings.

  "Yes, I'm just worried about Mrs. Hudson. She went in for a pacemaker this morning."

  "Oh. Well, if she died, someone would come to tell you, wouldn't they?" she asked without much feeling.

  "I don't know," I said. I really didn't.

  "If she dies, will you go back to Washington, D.C.?"

  "I don't know." I shook my head. "I don't know, but that's not why I'm worrying."

  She took another look at me and bit down on her lower lip.

  "Oh, I hope you don't get sent back," she said. "You're doing so well in the play."

  "I think Mrs. Hudson's life is a little more important than this play, don't you?" I snapped at her.

  "What? Oh yes, I didn't mean ...I mean.. yes," she said and walked quickly toward the back of the stage.

  I felt sorry for her; she was just trying to find a way to become friends, but I didn't have the patience for it at the moment. Mercifully, the rehearsal came to an end.

  Corbette seized my aim at the elbow to hold me back when I went for my books and hurriedly started up the aisle.

  "Well?" he asked.

  "Well what?"

  "What about tomorrow?"

  "Oh. I...forgot all about it. I'm sorry," I said and quickly told him what was happening.

  "She'll be all right," he assured me. "My grandfather had that done last year. I'll call you tonight, okay? Okay?" he repeated when I didn't reply.

  "What? Yes, okay," I said, more to get free than anything else. I practically ran out of the theater and toward the car. Jake was waiting beside it, the smile on his face giving me some instant relief.

  "Everything's fine," Jake said quickly. "She's doing very well. The doctors will let her come home in a day or so."

  "Really? That's great," I said.

  "Yeah." He smiled. "Now they need you in that house more than ever."

  On the way home, I thought about what he had said and how he had said it. That was what Audrey thought I was worried about, and surely Victoria did, too. Did everyone think I was only concerned with myself? Why shouldn't they? I realized. They knew nothing else about me.

  When I arrived at the house, I discovered my mother and Aunt Victoria in the living room. They were both sipping wine and talking.

  "How's Mrs. Hudson?" I asked from the doorway. Aunt Victoria smirked, but my mother smiled warmly.

  "She's doing well, Rain. Thank you for getting her to do the right thing, finally. I've been after her to have a real examination and get this problem solved for nearly a year now. Doctor Lewis told me about your call." She turned her head from Victoria and winked. "How are you doing?"

  "Good," I said.

  "I understand you're getting good grades."

  Victoria grunted.

  "And you have the lead in the school play?"

  "Yes."

  "This is one amazing ghetto child," Victoria quipped and sipped her wine. With her eyes narrowing suspiciously, she looked at Megan. "It's just lucky the one you had assigned to you and Mother was so talented. You could have gotten a drug addict or something." She turned to me again. "Not that we know all there is to know about Rain. Police files on juveniles are usually kept under wraps."

  "I don't have a police record," I snapped.

  "Rain has a good reputation and a good school record," my mother said calmly. "She deserves a chance to make something of herself."

  "You and your altruistic little endeavors, Megan. What does Grant think of all this?" Aunt Victoria asked.

  "He's very supportive of my charity work, Victoria."

  "What people will do to make a place for themselves in the political scheme of things," Aunt Victoria said, shaking her head.

  "That's not why I do it," my mother said sharply.

  "I know. I know," Victoria said in a tired voice. "Did you ever think of putting some of that energy into work that would earn your family something more than pats on the back, Megan? You still have that silly idealistic streak that got you into loads of trouble all those years ago."

  "We do well enough without me having to find ways to create more income, Victoria. And it's not silly idealism to want to help people who aren't as well off as you are."

  "You never can do well enough," Aunt Victoria insisted. "You have your own children to worry over."

  My mother shot me a quick worried look.

  "Are your children here, too, Mrs. Randolph?" I asked, expecting they might be in some
other part of the house. I took a deep breath. It was time to meet them, I knew.

  "No, I didn't want to take them out of school with such short notice," she replied.

  I simply stared for a moment. She didn't want to take them out of school? Their grandmother might have died on the operating table and they didn't insist on coming here?

  "They'll visit sometime in the near future," she added, seeing the look on my face.

  "Oh. Are you staying awhile?" I asked, hoping she was. I wanted so to spend more time with her.

  "That's what Victoria and I were discussing. We've decided to hire a nurse for a few weeks. Victoria's too busy to spend a great deal of time here and I'm too far away. And," she continued, "the awesome responsibility will be taken off your shoulders, not that you're incapable of handling it. However, you have to be in school, too, and I didn't make arrangements for you to be here to baby-sit," she concluded.

  Victoria shook her head and finished her wine.

  "I've got to get back to the office," she said rising. "You'll see that Grant looks over those papers I sent along last week?"

  "Yes," my mother promised her.

  "It's not an insignificant matter, Megan."

  "I promise. I'll see to it," she emphasized, but Aunt Victoria didn't look placated.

  "I'll be calling him," she threatened and started out of the living room. She paused beside me in the doorway. "I've left numbers on the bulletin board in the kitchen if for some reason you need something important, although I expect the nurse to keep me informed as to my mother's condition." She glanced back at my mother. "At least you won't have to call my sister and drag her all that distance back. Understand?" she pumped at me.

  "Yes, ma'am," I said. I nearly saluted.

  She pressed her lips together and left. When I saw her go out the front door, I turned to my mother, who put her finger to her lips before I could speak.

  "Merilyn is nearby," she whispered. She pointed to the chair in front of her and I sat. "So how is it really going for you here?"

  I told her again about my grades, how much I enjoyed the horseback riding lessons and the play.

  "But are you able to get along with my mother? I know how trying she can be. Her ideas are planted in cement."