Only by Your Touch

  A few minutes later, Chloe’s boss returned from the bank, only to leave again to go home and check on her husband. The older woman had been gone only a few minutes when Bobby Lee made a trio of visits, the span of time between them so short that they were almost back-to-back.

  Inside, Chloe trembled each time she saw him. She ignored the man’s presence—didn’t glance up, didn’t speak. Perhaps he would stop doing this if he could get no reaction from her.

  The last time he came, he spoke in that whiny, have-mercy voice she was coming to despise. “I’ll go bankrupt doing this.”

  Chloe sacked his merchandise. “Please, do. My commission is five percent of gross.”

  “Chloe, please.” He flashed her an imploring look. “What really happened that night? I stopped, didn’t I?”

  “Did you want to buy something more?”

  He nudged up the brim of his hat. “You’re a hard woman.”

  She was a smart woman. Chloe turned her back on him and began sorting the daily receipts. Inside, she was shaking. On the outside, she was deadly calm.

  “Okay, fine. We’ll play it your way. I have a bankroll. If you want five percent of that before you’ll forgive me, I’ll give it to you.”

  She wouldn’t forgive him for all the tea in China. When the overhead bell chinked to announce his departure, the trembling inside her attacked her hands. She dropped a bunch of receipts, which fluttered to the floor. She was still crouched down picking them up when Hattie returned to the shop.

  “Are you all right?” Hattie asked when she saw Chloe’s face.

  Chloe had never wanted to confide in anyone quite so much, but Hattie had problems enough of her own. She’d just learned that her husband, Bill, had diabetes, and his blood sugar was yo-yoing radically in reaction to the insulin injections. “I’m fine, Hattie. How’s Bill?”

  Hattie launched into a long explanation of diet and insulin types that Chloe only half attended. Bobby Lee had made four appearances in the shop that day. She could no longer kid herself. The deputy was stalking her. Even more alarming, he was being very careful, making sure she was alone when he came. After the phone calls he’d placed to her residence the night Ben was there, she also knew he was watching her house. In situations like this, most women could call the law, but Chloe had already done that and received no help.

  She didn’t know what to do. She toyed with the possibility of calling the state police and filing a complaint. The problem was, did she have any legal grounds to actually file charges? Sheriff Lang would pooh-pooh her story, saying it was Bobby Lee’s job to patrol all the local businesses on a daily basis. Jack Pine was so small, it was not yet incorporated, so the community had no city police force and fell under county jurisdiction.

  From the start, Chloe had been determined not to involve Ben in this mess. Her reasons still held. If she told Ben what was happening, he might confront Bobby Lee. No civilian could take a law officer to task and come out a winner, not in this town, especially not Ben.

  Chloe considered calling her folks for advice, but decided otherwise. There was nothing they could really do, and she didn’t want to worry them.

  In desperation, Chloe waited for Hattie to leave and called Sheriff Lang again, hoping against hope that the lawman might listen to her this time.

  “Well, now, Chloe,” he said sagely. “Stalking is a pretty serious charge.”

  “Trust me. I’m on the receiving end. I understand how serious it is.”

  “I think you need to calm down and look at this objectively,” he replied. “As I explained once before, Bobby Lee patrols all the businesses in Jack Pine. It’s part of his job. I can’t very well reprimand the man for doing his duty, now can I?”

  “These aren’t duty calls, Sheriff.” Her voice quaking with anger, Chloe reminded him of her dinner date with the deputy. “If I hadn’t gotten away from him, he would have raped me that night! I quit my job at the sheriff’s department to avoid any further contact. Now he’s spying on my house and driving me nuts at my new place of employment. He never comes in when Hattie’s here, only when I’m alone. Today, he was here four times.”

  “I have to admit that four visits to one store is a little excessive.”

  Chloe clenched her teeth.

  “Chloe, has it occurred to you that Bobby Lee may sincerely regret his behavior and want to make amends? He’s a good man. Been with the department for twenty years without a single mark on his record. That has to count for something.”

  In Chloe’s opinion, all that proved was that Bobby Lee had managed to hide his true colors for almost a quarter of a century. “As spotless as his record may have been, Sheriff, that’s no longer the case now. A good man doesn’t try to force himself on a woman, and he doesn’t threaten her with her job when she refuses him. I’ll also remind you that he ambushed me later alongside the road and nearly ran me down with that Bronco. If I hadn’t jumped the ditch and run into the woods, he would have hit me.”

  Lang sighed heavily, making Chloe feel like a recalcitrant child trying his patience. “Is he buying something each time he comes into the shop?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, then? Maybe he’s just been in the Christmas spirit lately.”

  Chloe could see she was wasting her breath. She sarcastically thanked Sheriff Lang for his time and broke the connection. A dull ache had settled behind her eyes. As she fished through her purse for some ibuprofen, her hands trembled so violently that she could barely control them. Acid rolled up the back of her throat.

  Taking a deep breath and slowly expelling it, she tried to calm down. Only she couldn’t. Bobby Lee was dangerous. She could see it in his eyes. All her instincts warned her to do something, but for the life of her, she couldn’t think what. The obvious course of action, calling the law, had gotten her nowhere.

  The situation was nightmarishly similar to what she’d gone through for months after leaving Roger. For days now, her nerves had been raw. If something shifted when she opened a closet at home, she leaped with fright. She no longer enjoyed playing in the yard with Jeremy for fear she’d turn and find Bobby Lee standing behind her. She was tense when she took Jeremy on an outing, watching for a white Bronco everywhere she went and dreading the moment when she’d have to go home to an empty house.

  Recalling those trials with Roger came to Chloe’s rescue now. Bobby Lee frightened her, and she hated his visits to the shop, but she’d been through worse. Maybe he was just slow on the uptake and honestly believed he might wheedle his way back into her good graces. Soon, he’d start to realize that no amount of cajoling would convince her to forgive him. Maybe, at that point, he’d grow weary of the game and leave her alone.

  Before Ben knew it, Chloe had been working at the Christmas Village for nearly two weeks, Rowdy was three months old, and time was running out. Soon the puppy would be old enough to go home. Chloe’s debt to Ben would be paid in full, and she’d no longer have a reason to visit the ridge.

  He told himself he’d just as soon not see her if her only reason for coming was a sense of obligation. But deep down, he knew it was a lie. Chloe. He loved the throaty, musical sound of her voice. He loved the way she sang to herself as she worked. She filled his home with warmth and laughter.

  One evening, it finally came time for Winston to be returned to his natural environment. Chloe walked with Ben deep into the woods, cheerfully said farewell, and then started to cry as the skunk disappeared into the woods. Clearly embarrassed, she averted her face so Ben wouldn’t see her tears.

  “It’s one of the drawbacks,” he told her as they walked slowly back toward the house. “You fall in love with each one of them, and it always hurts when your time with them is over.”

  She rubbed angrily at her cheeks. “I’m sorry. This is stupid. He’s just a silly old skunk.”

  A skunk she’d come to love like a pet, Ben thought. It was much easier for him. He knew he’d see Winston again. His patients always returned for visits. “Maybe
he’ll drop by now and again.”

  She gulped and wiped at her cheeks again. “Yes, well, it’s unlikely that I’ll be around to see him, isn’t it?”

  Ben caught her by the elbow and turned her into his arms. “Hey,” he whispered. “It’s not so bad as all that, is it?” He suddenly had a bad feeling that saying good-bye to Winston was merely a catalyst and not the true source of her agitation. He rubbed gently at her wet cheeks, noticing the dark circles under her eyes where he removed her makeup. He drew back slightly to better assess her face. Without the touches of camouflage, she was frighteningly pale, and she looked drawn and exhausted. “Chloe, what is it? What’s troubling you?”

  Her eyes went bright with tears again, and she just shook her head. “It’s nothing. I, um—just some difficulties at work.”

  “What kind of difficulties?”

  She shrugged and pulled away to hug her waist and stare off through the trees. “Nothing that I can’t handle.”

  Ben resisted the urge to reach out and touch her again. “Sometimes a problem is easier solved when it’s shared with a friend. Talk to me.”

  Her gaze flicked up to his. “The way you talk to me?” Her voice rang with bitterness. “Friendship goes two ways, Ben.”

  This was his chance, he thought. He swallowed. The words she wanted to hear gathered in his throat. He tried to push them out. He honestly did. Only, somehow, all he made was a soft grunting sound. She stood watching him—and waiting. His blood began to pound in his temples.

  At last, he managed to speak, only the words that came weren’t what he meant to say. “I talk to you, Chloe.”

  Her big brown eyes, already shimmering with tears, filled with pain. Knowing he was the cause made Ben feel ashamed.

  “Fine,” she said shakily. “Take all the time you need. Forever, if you like. It no longer matters to me one way or another. Keep your precious secrets.”

  She turned and started to walk away. Ben snaked out a hand and grabbed her by the arm, whirling her to face him. “You can’t turn your back on this.”

  “On what? I fail to see what I’m walking away from.”

  “This, damn it!”

  Ben knew it was stupid—a move he was bound to regret—but he jerked her into his arms and kissed her with everything he had. He half expected her to fight. Instead, she only stiffened and started to push away. Then she moaned and melted against him.

  Warning bells went off in his head. His touch. It was unfair to use that as a weapon against her. Only this time, fear of losing her outweighed his sense of honor. He backed her against a tree, feverishly kissing her as he ran his hands over her body. She hooked a slender leg at the back of his knee and offered no protest when he pushed up her top, unfastened her bra, and began fondling her breasts. She wrested her mouth from his and let her head fall back, her body jerking as he tweaked her nipples.

  She dug her nails into his shoulders, clinging to him as if she were about to fall. “I love you, Ben. I love you. Kiss me, please?”

  He’d already kissed her. As inflamed as he was, it took him a moment to understand where she wanted his mouth. He didn’t need to be asked twice. Cupping her small breasts, he pushed them up and drew on her pink nipples. They went instantly hard. He could feel every slam of her heart in the vulnerable tips.

  She shuddered and then sobbed. Ben continued to tease her breasts as he reached for the snap of her jeans. The instant his knuckles grazed her belly, her eyes opened, wide and disoriented. Then, with a suddenness that took him completely by surprise, she shoved hard on his shoulders.

  “I can’t do this!” she cried. “I just can’t.”

  Ben thought they’d been making damned good progress. Grabbing for breath, he turned to watch her scramble away from him. “Chloe,” he said hoarsely.

  She gave him her back as she struggled to right her clothing. “That’s it. I’m out of here. I was afraid this might happen if we were alone again.”

  “What do you mean, out of here?”

  “I mean I’m leaving.” She turned to fix him with an accusing look. “All you want is an easy lay who doesn’t ask questions. Sorry, but that’s not the way I’m programmed.”

  Before he could collect his wits, she stomped away. “Chloe, wait a minute. Can you just wait a minute?”

  She never broke stride, her slender hips rotating seductively with every angry step. Ben stared after her for a moment. Then, feeling deflated, he leaned against the tree, closed his eyes, and willed his need of her away.

  When he felt he could follow her without embarrassing himself, he fell into step behind her. As he walked, he mentally circled the problem. He’d obviously come to a crossroads, and he had to make a choice. If he didn’t start talking, and fast, she would make tracks, and he might never see her again.

  Only it wasn’t that simple for him. He honest to God didn’t know how to be open, even about little things, and the thought of sharing the big things scared him half to death. What would she say if he told her the whole truth? Not just part of it, but all of it. Even more important, how would she react? Would she stay with him, regardless? Or would she run like hell?

  When he entered the house a few seconds later, he found her collecting her son and the puppy. His stomach dropped to the region of his knees. She really was leaving.

  She handed Jeremy the squirming pup. “Go on out to the car, sweetie. Mommy will be along in a second.”

  Jeremy sent Ben an “I told you so” look before he scampered from the house. When the front door thumped closed, Chloe smoothed her hands over her slacks.

  “What about the viruses?” Ben knew he was grabbing at straws. That wasn’t what she wanted to hear, and it wasn’t what he needed to say. “If you take the pup home, he’ll be at risk.”

  “I’ll pour bleach on a small section of lawn. For the next few weeks, Jeremy can take Rowdy potty there and keep him off the rest of the grass.”

  “Do you know how much bleach that’ll take?”

  Even as he asked the question, Ben wondered if he’d lost his mind. As if bleach were what he wanted to talk about? She loved him. She’d said as much. Sweet Christ. That was what he should be focused on, not bleach.

  She shrugged. “Several gallons, I’m sure. Whatever it takes.” In a quivery voice, she went on. “The local vet would have charged me a thousand dollars to treat Rowdy. I believe I’ve worked off a fair fourth of that. As soon as I’m financially able, I’ll mail you a check for the remainder to settle the debt.”

  “Don’t be silly, Chloe. I don’t want your money.”

  She refused to look him directly in the eye. “I can accept help from good friends, but not from strangers. Call it silly pride if you like, but I pay my own way.”

  “I’m not exactly a stranger.”

  She didn’t argue the point. She didn’t need to. When she turned toward the door, her actions spoke more loudly than a dozen words.

  Ben trailed after her to the entryway. “Chloe, don’t end it like this. Please.”

  “End what? From where I’m standing, nothing ever began.”

  That hurt. His only consolation was that he could see in her expression that it pained her as much to say it as it did him to hear it. “We need to talk,” he said. “I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, I swear.”

  “Because I’ve pried it out of you?” When she met his gaze, he saw no lingering anger in her eyes, only a hurt that ran so deep her voice shook with it. “Sharing between two people who really trust each other should come freely, not upon request. I waited.” She made a hopeless gesture with her hand. “For two weeks I’ve waited, Ben. Until now, you haven’t offered to tell me anything, not even what you do for a living.”

  What he did for a living was only a start. He had much more to tell her than that. Only Chloe didn’t understand that. To her, it was cut and dried, a refusal on his part to come clean about things other people divulged without a thought.

  “There’s a lot more to it than that,” he
said. “A lot of things you don’t understand, Chloe. Things that—” He broke off and swallowed hard. “I, um—I’ve always been a private person. You know? It’s not as easy for me as it is for other people. It’s not a matter of choosing not to tell you things. It’s just that I can’t think how to start—and I’m afraid of your reaction.”

  He hoped that might soften her, but instead she opened the door. As she stepped out, she said, “Then you really shouldn’t tell me, Ben. Trust is key. Without that, we don’t have much.”

  He started to follow her out, but she held up a hand. “I’m serious, Ben. Whatever it is you can’t think how to tell me, keep it to yourself. Hearing it from you now won’t mean anything. I’d always feel that I forced it out of you.”

  The door closed in his face. He considered following her out and forcing her to listen, then discarded the idea. She was very upset with him right now. That didn’t bode well for a meaningful heart-to-heart, and too much rode on the outcome for him to have rotten timing.

  Nan, who’d evidently been awakened from her nap by the sound of their voices, appeared like a wraith beside him. She hugged his arm and rested her cheek against his sleeve, looking with him through the window at Chloe’s departing car.

  When the last bit of dust had finally settled, she said, “She’s a sweet girl, Ben.”

  “She’s not coming back,” he whispered.

  “Of course she will. You’ve only to go after her.”

  Ben glanced down. “You overheard our conversation.”

  She nodded. “Yes, and if you’re a typical man, I imagine you’re bewildered. When you’re finally ready to spill your guts, she refuses to listen.”

  Ben was more than a little confused on that count. “She said it wouldn’t mean anything now.”

  Nan smiled and kissed his shirtsleeve. “She just doesn’t comprehend the magnitude of what you have to say. From her standpoint, you’ve been impossibly secretive about silly things. When you talk to her, it’ll mean a great deal to her.”