Long Road Home

  realistic goals.”

  “I don’t believe I’m hearing this,” he said in a strained voice. “Call them what you want. They’re goddamn criminals, and they’ve killed a lot of Americans.”

  “So has the American government,” she said bitterly.

  He shook his head, his face reddening. So he was obviously a patriot. She had been one too, in the beginning. Now she just wanted to move to some remote jungle. Away from patriotic duty and the bullshit that was honor.

  Another long moment of silence settled over them. She twisted her hands in front of her and took a deep breath. “Manny?”

  “Yeah?”

  “What happened to Mom and Pop?” Her voice wavered more than she wanted it to, but her parents had died and there hadn’t even been so much as a memorial service. Were they lying in a morgue somewhere? Alone and without family to take them home?

  “They were cremated,” he said quietly. “It was their wish. When all of this is over with, I thought we’d go home and have a memorial service for them.”

  This. He said it with such distaste. She knew this was all her doing. Not only had she killed her parents, but she had prevented them from having a proper burial.

  She buried her face in her hands, utter grief overcoming her. She couldn’t grieve for her real parents. They were killers, like her. But Mom and Pop? Their only sin was taking in a homeless little girl and loving her unconditionally.

  “Jules,” Manny said, his voice full of regret. He squeezed her shoulder then slid his hand down to grasp hers.

  “I loved them, Manny. I know you don’t think so, but it was for them that I stayed away. And it was all for nothing.” Bitterness spilled from her lips. So much hatred. It was like poison. Felt like venom.

  He slowed then pulled over into the parking lot of a truck stop. After turning off the ignition, he shifted in his seat and turned to look at her. “Perhaps you tell me just why it is you did stay away. I never considered even for a moment that you were doing so of your own free will. Are you telling me it was a conscious decision?”

  She squeezed her eyes shut. “It isn’t that simple.”

  “Yes, Jules, it is. Either you were prevented from returning home or you chose not to come home. Which is it?”

  “You see things as black or white, Manny. Things rarely are, you know.”

  “No, I don’t know. Why don’t you explain it to me over a cup of coffee. God knows I could use one,” he said wearily.

  She wrinkled her nose. “Make mine juice, and I’ll take you up on it.”

  He didn’t smile at her. She sighed and got out of the car, stretching cautiously. She winced when pain washed over her. Her ribs were nowhere close to being healed, and she didn’t have time to make sure they mended properly.

  “Are you okay?” Manny asked beside her, concern reflected in his voice.

  She wanted to weep. Despite his anger, he was still worried about her. Goddamn, Jules. Quit with the crying already. She slammed her door in disgust and followed Manny into the small diner.

  They slid into a booth by a window. Both looked cautiously around as they surveyed the menu. Oh yeah, he was some kind of law enforcement. He had the instincts. And, she admitted to herself, he was damn good. Whatever he was.

  A waitress shuffled over to take their order and stood smacking on her gum while she waited for Manny to speak. It was obvious that she was checking him out. Her gaze wandered up and down his body appreciatively, and she stood a little closer than was necessary.

  Jules frowned and followed the waitress’s avid stare. It had been a long time since she’d looked at a man with anything other than self-preservation in mind. And she had to admit, Manny looked even better now than he had three years ago. Thickly muscled arms and a broad chest. Perfect for melting into and feeling safe.

  She coughed to cover the hysterical laughter that threatened to bubble out. When was the last time she felt safe?

  Manny’s green eyes burned into her. “Is something wrong, Jules?”

  She coughed again. “Uh no, just a bit of pain.” It wasn’t a complete lie. Her chest and lungs felt like shit.

  He rattled off his order to the waitress then looked questioningly at Jules. “Want anything else besides juice?”

  She shook her head. Her stomach was in enough turmoil without loading it down with food.

  When the waitress had left, he leaned over and stared straight at her. “Now, I want to know what happened three years ago. Why didn’t you come home? All I got was a phone call from you saying you couldn’t ever come home, and you sounded scared to death. Damn it, Jules. Do you have any idea what that was like? There was nothing. Nothing else until a few days ago.”

  She bowed her head, unable to meet his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m beginning to think I don’t know you at all.”

  “It’s not what you think.” She raised her head back up. “It’s not like I arbitrarily decided not to come home. I would never have done that to Mom and Pop. Or you.”

  “Then what happened? Did someone hurt you?” The dangerous glint was back in his eyes.

  She rubbed her hands back and forth over her arms. “I can’t tell you everything—”

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  “Okay, won’t,” she said, her chin snapping up further. “I had no choice but to stay away from you all. I was told that if I didn’t do exactly as instructed, they would kill Mom and Pop. You. And in the end, it didn’t even matter. Mom and Pop died anyway.”

  Manuel stared wordlessly at her, trying to process the information she had given him. “Who is they, Jules?” A sudden thought came to him. “Oh God. It was the NFR, wasn’t it? They recruited you.”

  Her silence gave him his answer. “Jesus Christ. You mean to tell me you’ve been a member of the NFR for the last three years? Is that why you defended them?”

  “I wasn’t defending them. I merely suggested there were worse groups.”

  “You didn’t answer the question,” he growled. “Quit jerking me around and talk to me.”

  “Yes, Manny. Happy now? I was a card-carrying member of the NFR. I ate, drank and slept all things NFR. All because the one thing that mattered to me was in danger. I became someone I despised, because at least it meant my family was alive.”

  Grief, rage, sadness. They all swam crazily in her eyes. He felt the same things deep in his soul. Was she telling the truth? She had to be. After all, mere days ago, Mom and Pop had died because they had gone to see her.

  His cell phone vibrated, and he yanked it up in irritation. “What?” he barked out, never letting his gaze fall from Jules.

  “Bad time?” Tony asked.

  “You could say that.”

  “I wanted to make sure you two were okay. Everyone make it out all right?”

  “The information you had for me earlier,” Manuel bit out, ignoring Tony’s question. “Give it to me now.”

  A long pause. “Uh, okay. Give me a second to get the file.”

  Manuel waited, his eyes boring into Jules’s tormented ones.

  Tony’s voice came back over the line. “You ready?”

  “Yeah.”

  “It would appear your girl is a highly trained assassin. A damn good one, if my information is correct. Not your average run-of-the-mill terrorist. She’s been pretty selective in her hits. If I’m right, she’s a member of a splinter cell of the NFR. Not their front line, but a small select group used to focus on individuals detrimental to their cause.”

  Nausea boiled in Manuel’s stomach. He clenched the phone in his hand, wanting desperately to send it through the window. He wanted to break something, anything. He wanted to put his first through the wall.

  “You okay?” Tony asked. “I know how much she meant to you.”

  “Means, Tony. She still means everything to me.” He hung up the phone, letting it fall onto the table.

  “Your buddy confirm my story?” she asked bitterly.

  He shook his head
. “I don’t understand. I don’t even know what to say right now.”

  “You don’t have to say anything,” she said, though he could hear the anguish in her voice. “Now maybe you can see why you have to stay away from me. You can’t be near me. Ever.”

  “Bullshit.”

  She raised her eyebrows.

  “You left for a reason, Jules. Why did you come back, and why are they chasing you?”

  “They don’t take kindly to people leaving the fold.”

  “Why would you chance leaving now, after three years, if the only reason you stayed was because they threatened Mom and Pop?” There was something about her story that just didn’t ring true. That she would lie to him thrust a knife straight into his chest.

  “Because I was foolish,” she said in disgust. “I thought I was smarter. Thought I could just disappear and no one would care or try to find me. As long as I stayed away from my family, they wouldn’t know where I was. I was wrong. I should have just fucked up an assignment and died.”

  He looked at her in shock. She wasn’t being melodramatic. She was dead serious. Had she contemplated death before?

  “How did you find me, Manny? Did they contact you?”

  “I never stopped looking for you. I’ve used department resources, manpower, all the technology I have at my disposal, and until a week ago, nothing.”

  She leaned forward. “Who do you work for? You said not FBI. What then?”

  He debated whether to tell her the truth. But he wouldn’t lie to her, not like she had to him. “I work for the CIA.”

  He was unprepared for the revulsion that spread across her face. Had her years with the NFR influenced her so greatly? The NFR was one of five main groups the CIA had spent years trying to infiltrate. The only group they had been unsuccessful with so far.

  “The CIA? How long? Were you already working for them before I left for France?”

  He nodded. “I joined right after I graduated from college.”

  She laughed harshly. “So the computer business was all a front?”

  He nodded again.

  “I was going to ask you for a job when I got back from France.”

  “And I was going to ask you to marry me.” It slipped out before he could recall the words. But it hardly mattered. It was a lifetime ago.

  She jerked back as if she had been slapped. “W-what?”

  His phone rang again, and this time he really did give serious thought to throwing it through the window.

  “This better be good,” he snapped.

  “You need to get moving,” Tony said.

  Manuel was immediately on alert, motioning Jules to get up and follow him. He reached into his pocket, pulled out a few bills and threw them on the table. “What’s going on?” he asked as he guided Jules outside to the car.

  “Satellite picked up a transmission a few minutes ago. Your girl was a topic of conversation. They seem pretty pissed at her. They also know you’re headed for Dallas. My suggestion is to turn south to Houston and hop a plane to D.C., pronto. And Manuel, Sanderson is all over me. He knows what I know so far. You need to be careful. If you need to call me, use our backup method, you got me?”

  Yeah, Manuel knew what he was talking about. It was a pain in the ass to route the calls through the dozen channels he’d have to go through, but he didn’t want the boss man to be breathing down his or Tony’s necks.

  Manuel slammed Jules’s door behind her. “I want a full report later. Dig up what you can about the NFR. Particularly their recruiting tactics. I’ll call you as soon as I can.”

  Chapter Ten

  Jules pretended to sleep on the drive to Houston. She could feel Manny watching her. Wanting to question her further. But she had no desire to talk about the years she had spent with the NFR. Not now. Not ever. She’d just as soon forget the whole thing.

  She nearly laughed. Kind of hard to forget when they were breathing down her neck. What a fool she’d been to think she could escape so easily.

  And now to discover he worked for the agency that held her life, and now his, in its hands. For a brief moment, she entertained the idea that maybe he wasn’t as uninformed as he pretended to be, but no, she couldn’t believe that of him. In a world where she could believe nothing and trust no one, she clung to the idea that this man was honorable despite the monsters he worked for.

  She couldn’t tell him the truth. He wouldn’t likely believe her anyway. And the truth would get him killed just as quickly as being with her would.

  “You can open your eyes, Jules. I know you’re awake,” Manny said dryly. “We’re almost to the hotel.”

  “I need to stop at a pharmacy or grocery store,” she said.

  He frowned. “I’d rather you not be exposed unless absolutely necessary.”

  “I need to dye my hair back. Red’s a little noticeable.”

  He looked like he wanted to question the reason for ever dying it red, but she fixed him with a silencing glare. His lips tightened and he exited the freeway and then pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store.

  “Let’s make it quick,” he said in a low voice.

  A few minutes later, they returned to the car, everything Jules needed in a small bag.

  They drove up a few exits before Manny pulled off again and into the parking lot of a small airport hotel.

  He drove under the awning of the front entrance then turned to look at her. “Can I trust you to stay here while I check us in or do I need to haul you inside with me?”

  “I’m not going anywhere.”

  He stared at her for a long moment then opened his door. He pulled the keys from the ignition and stuffed them into his pocket before stepping out.

  She sat and waited, taking in the immediate surroundings. Her eyes soaked in every detail, the proximity to the interstate, the number of cars in the lot. Anything to let her know what she was up against.

  A few minutes later, Manny slid back into the car and started the engine. He drove a few feet forward and pulled into a nearby parking space. “Let’s go,” he said.

  She collected her bag and got out, stretching her aching body. She followed behind Manny as they entered the hotel from a side entrance.

  The room was nothing fancy, the bedspreads and draperies faded and thin. Manny locked the door and bolted it behind them. She sat down on the edge of one of the two beds and let the bag slide to the floor at her feet. “So what now?”

  “We’ll catch the earliest flight I can book to D.C. I didn’t want to hang out at the airport. It’s too open, and we’d be visible for too long.”

  “So we just sit here in the meantime.”

  “Yes. You can take a shower if you want,” he offered. “I have clothes for you in the car.”

  She looked up in surprise.

  “You asked for clothes when you were in the hospital. You just didn’t stick around long enough to collect them,” he said pointedly.

  “Thank you,” she murmured. “I’ll go climb in now.” The mere thought of a shower made her positively weak-kneed. She needed to fix her hair color anyway.

  Once inside, she stripped off her jeans and shirt, wincing at the vivid bruises across her abdomen and chest. She made the mistake of looking into the mirror and gasped at her reflection. In a word, she looked bloody awful. The dye job looked cheap, and deep shadows marked her eyes.

  She pulled out her supplies, lined them on the counter and then stepped into the shower. She turned on the water as hot as she could make it and stuck her head underneath the spray.

  Manuel waited until he heard the flow of water before he relaxed his guard. He needed to call Tony and get the flight information…and any other information Tony had been able to dig up.

  He took out his phone and began the arduous task of routing his call through the backup network, one Tony himself had devised. A