Stork Naked

  "To ascertain whether this hill is suitable for my hill to establish formal diplomatic relations with," he said. That was true; it was part of the deal they had made with Hill 53. but it was hardly the whole truth.

  "Oh, I'm sure it is," she said. "We're a wonderful hill, with many fine qualities and good workers. Not long ago we raided another colony and took some slaves, and now they are loyal workers. Except—" She broke off, perplexed.

  He was interested in whatever mystery this hill had. "What is it?"

  "Some were odd. I don't know what happened to them."

  Well, now. "Were there three of them?"

  "Yes, I think so. They looked regular, for their variety. Like ordinary vari ants. But they weren't the same as the others."

  Like three transformed children, he thought. So they had been hidden away, per a directive from the Sorceress. "Could they be ench ants?"

  "Yes! Enchants."

  "I would like to see those ench ants."

  She rippled her antennae in a shrug. "They're gone. I never saw them, and heard no more of them after the raid."

  Che had a fair idea where they would be. But he still needed a pretext to go there, and had to find a way to get into a section that was surely well guarded. Maybe he could go alone at night, when the hill was quiet, and explore.

  "Well, let's relax for now."

  Anona was glad to cooperate. "Anything you wish, lord."

  He folded six legs, settling to the floor. She settled next to him. Now she had a musky female scent that stirred his awareness. How far was her transformation likely to go?

  A guard ant appeared at the entrance. Che got up and went to touch antennae, as it was the only way to know what brought the brute here.

  "You are looking for ench ants?" the guard demanded.

  Was this trouble? How did they know of his private dialogue with Anona? Straightforward seemed to be best. "I am."

  The guard moved aside and a regular worker ant came forward. Che touched antennae. "I am Conspir Ant. Some of us seek to overthrow the queen and establish a new order. To do that we need to gain control over the ench ants. Are you with us, foreign drone?"

  Che distrusted this. "I have no interest in revolution. I merely want to see the ench ants."

  "Then we shall have to kill you, for you know too much."

  "This is ridiculous!"

  But already the guard ant was pushing into the chamber. Its forelegs had huge sharp pincers suitable for snipping off legs or head. It came at Che with those weapons raised. He retreated; as a drone he was stronger than worker ants, but wasn't equipped to resist a warrior ant.

  The guard quickly backed him against a wall. He could not retreat farther. The two pincers came at him with terrible efficiency.

  Then the guard halted, its antennae waving. Something had charged it from the side, and had hold of one leg just below the pincer. It was Anona!

  Che leaped forward, grabbed the captive pincer, and bent it back. After a moment the leg snapped off right beyond where Anona was holding it.

  The guard seemed not to know its loss. Its other pincer shot toward Che's neck.

  But now he knew how to fight this thing. He dodged aside, grabbed the leg behind the pincer, and bent it as hard as he could. It too snapped, rendering the guard helpless.

  Conspir Ant was retreating. "Stop him!" Che cried, but he lacked antenna contact so his cry was silent. Instead, he charged the other ant and used his mandibles to chomp one of its hind legs. Loyal Anona chomped another.

  Then the hall beyond was filled with guard ants. There were way too many to overcome. They were done for.

  Che managed to touch antennae with Anona. "Stop fighting! We can't handle these."

  She stopped immediately. They retreated back into the chamber as the guards crowded in menacingly.

  "You did well," Che told Anona, and felt her electric thrill of responsive joy. Then they waited for the end. Actually it would be the end only for her, because he would merely revert to his centaur form. Yet his mission would be incomplete.

  But the guards did not attack. One approached Che to touch antennae. "Come with us, drone."

  Surely to be formally executed. "Leave Anona," Che said. "She is no part of this."

  But that was not to be. The guards marched both of them to the queen's apartment and shoved them in together.

  Suddenly they were in the presence of the Pique Ant Queen. Anona prostrated herself abjectly. Che, uncertain what to do, merely bowed his head.

  The queen approached. She was a splendid specimen of her kind, twice Che's size and devastatingly female. She clearly had no doubt of her command of the situation, and neither did he. She touched antennae briefly with Anona, then with Che. To describe her touch as electrifying would have been a severe understatement. "Tell all."

  Such was the power of her command that he did not hesitate. There was no confusion or holding back; the truth poured out. "I am Che Centaur, occupying an ant body so as to investigate three inhabitants of your hill. They may be three human or demon children transformed to ant form by an evil Sorceress. If so, we must rescue them."

  "They are not," the queen said. She disengaged, wiggled an antenna at a servant skulking in the background, and touched antennae briefly with the servant. Then she returned to Che. "I have summoned them here so you can verify this."

  "But if you captured them in a slave raid, how can you be sure of their nature? They seem to be from another reality." He hoped she understood that concept.

  "They are from another reality," she agreed. "But they are not transformed human or demon children. They are enchanted ants. We do not know their ultimate origin, but it seems they were not welcome there, and were put among workers subject to raiding. They had passed through several hills by the time we got them and recognized their worth."

  "Those other ant hills wanted to lose them?"

  "So it seems. Before I clarify their nature, it seems best that you meet them. Then you will understand."

  Soon the three ench ants arrived. They were all suppressed females, exactly like other workers. Che lost interest in them immediately.

  "Do you wish to interview them directly?" the queen asked.

  Che realized with a start that he had not completed his mission. "I suppose I should." But he didn't.

  "Try again," the queen advised.

  Why hadn't he already done so? It wasn't like him to be so forgetful. He took a step toward the three, then was distracted by Anona, still humbly prostrated before the queen. "About her," he said. "I gave her royal jelly, unthinkingly. She tried to protest, but I didn't understand. She did not willfully disobey the protocol."

  "Have no concern," the queen said. "Anona is my loyal servant, reporting everything to me. That is how I knew about your refusal to betray me to another hill."

  "But she never left me! She defended me at the risk of her own life."

  "Because that was her directive. I was curious about your nature and motive, so assigned her to you. This is not conscious on her part; I am partially telepathic, and she is partially so also, so I am able to receive the communications she receives and sends. More specifically, my talent is to read minds only when others are thinking bad or evil thoughts. Since it is by definition evil to oppose my rule, I learn what I need. But I can't be in all places at all times, so Anona serves as my surrogate, evoking those thoughts if they exist. Be assured that no harm will come to her as long as I govern; she is far too valuable in ferreting out plots such as the one you encountered."

  "I wondered whether I was under observation, but I didn't know how."

  "You have forgotten your mission again."

  This brought him up short. He advanced on the three, amazed that he had been distracted so often; it wasn't like him. In fact he was normally quite focused. He remembered a time when—

  "Try again," the queen advised.

  Now he was really confused. "What is happening?"

  "The three ench ants have the talent
of aversion. They can escape notice, or be forgotten, or even repulse active interest. Each seems to have one variant; together they are virtually impregnable. This can be overridden, but the moment concentration lapses, they are lost to the attention of the other party. We use them to repel hostile raids; aggressive hills don't even know why they never get around to raiding ours. They are our prime defense."

  That explained why the hill could afford to be on an exposed location. Anything interested in attacking or eating ants would be repelled. That also explained why he had had such trouble approaching the anthill: the generalized aversion had been working on him. This was a rare and highly effective defense. "But why didn't the other hills they were at appreciate their value?"

  "Because the three did not wish to be recognized. They were looking for a more compatible situation. We offered them that, completely exempt from other duty, well fed and housed, and they are satisfied."

  "You did not mention appreciation. Don't they crave that?"

  "Centaur," the queen said kindly. "They are ants. All they want is to be allowed to do their job without interference. Their job is protecting the hill."

  Che straggled with his duty. "Queen, I do not wish to question your information, yet I should verify the identity of these three directly. Can their aversion magic be turned off?"

  The queen crooked an antenna at the three. They seemed to shimmer, and now he saw them more clearly. He went to them, and did not get distracted. He touched antennae with the nearest.

  "What is your real identity, and how did you come here?"

  "We are from a far reality," the ench ant responded. It was a neuter worker, quite ordinary except for its aversion magic and its limited initiative. "Where we hatched, all ants are like us. But we wandered too far afield, and got on the back of a snoozing stork. Before we knew it, we were caught high in the air, and then at the Stork Works. By the time we were able to dismount safely, we were in a different reality, where no ants had our abilities. We felt lonely, so searched for ants that had at least some mind abilities."

  "The queen! She is telepathic."

  "Yes. That is not the same, but we concluded that it is close enough. She understands mind powers, and treats us well. We will remain here."

  The antenna communication did not allow for deceit. Che had no doubt that these were ants, not transformed children. "Thank you."

  "Your Simurgh must be fascinating," the ant said. "Her mind is overwhelmingly strong. She is a very powerful queen."

  The ant had picked that up from his mind, interpreting it in ant terms. He could not conceal the truth either. "Yes." He broke contact.

  The three ench ants faded out, either gone or forgotten. Anona was gone. Che was now alone with the queen. "Before you depart," she said.

  "Yes?"

  "I trust you appreciate my cooperation. It allowed you to accomplish your mission, even though the result was negative."

  "That is true. I do appreciate it. Is there some return service I can do for you?"

  "There is. I have not had relations with a drone in some time. I have been busy. I believe I will take a small refreshing break."

  Suddenly he caught her meaning, which she had not signaled before. The worker ants were incapable of deception, but now he understood that the queen could communicate exactly what she chose, keeping the rest of her mind private. She was looking for a spot liaison, which by the rules of this reality and her species was legitimate. "But I am not really an ant," he protested. "This is merely the body of a mindless drone."

  "But you provide that mind, centaur, and an apt mind it is. No ant has the intellect you do. I appreciate a male with a formidable mind."

  This, unfortunately, was typical of females, just as appreciation of physical qualities was typical of males. "I am not at all sure—"

  "My time is limited," the queen said.

  "But—"

  Then she became the most magnificently alluring female creature he had ever encountered. It was not mere appearance or manner; there were magic pheromones galore. There was no gainsaying her. All his concerns about his mate Cythia Centaur, or Surprise Golem, or any other relationships became abruptly moot. There was only the queen of the pique ants.

  He stepped toward her, overwhelmed by her phenomenal sex appeal. There was no longer any doubt about the ant mating process. He was sure he would be aghast hereafter, but right now he had no choice.

  He blinked. He was standing a short distance from the anthill, which had shrunk to diminutive size. No, it was normal; he was back in his natural centaur body. He spread his wings and took off.

  "Thank you, Simurgh," he said to the air around him.

  Welcome. I concluded that your mission was done, and that you wished to depart your ant host.

  "I did," he agreed. "It's not that the queen ant was not worthy or appealing, but I have emotional complications that interfere with such a dalliance."

  It will take her a while to realize you are gone, as the drone body remains.

  "Bleep!" The cuss word came through verbally, though it was telepathically projected.

  Or maybe not, the Simurgh concluded.

  Che felt guilty. The queen had helped him, and was entitled to a return favor. He had reneged.

  You wish to return for a limited time?

  That brought him back to reality. "No."

  I will try to find some other intelligent male to occupy that body for the occasion she desires.

  That made him feel better. However, the day was late. "I need to return to report my finding," he said. "But what of you, Simurgh?"

  First recover Surprise Golem's baby. Then calculate the correct home reality. I will be in mental touch, now that we have connected. When we are ready to return, I will carry the flightless member of your party, and we will pass the Stork Works and select our destination. All should end well.

  Che hoped that would truly be the case. Somehow he lacked the confidence the Simurgh projected. After all, as far as he knew, they had not yet found the children.

  12

  Hell & Slimeballs

  Pyra walked through her sector, almost certain she would not find the children. It was evident that Demoness Fornax had enlisted more than one ally, contrary to the Demon deal, and was using the Sorceress Morgan le Fey to force the issue with Surprise Golem. Pyra had never met the Sorceress, but couldn't stand her; she made the contest unfair. But it was not her place to do anything about that.

  In her role as a helpful acquaintance of Surprise it was now her job to locate and rescue the three lost children if she could. She would play that role completely. She no longer wanted to corrupt Surprise, but would have to do her best in that respect too. The difference was that now it wouldn't bother her much to lose. She knew she didn't deserve Che, and she didn't want to hurt him by taking him away from Cynthia Centaur. She had to find someone else. If only she could somehow override the love elixir and do it naturally.

  She came to an arch. It was formed of translucent stone wedges with pearly surfaces that glowed faintly. "Moonstone!" she exclaimed, recognizing the type.

  The scene beyond the arch was different from what was around it, and she realized that this was magic, leading to some other realm. It must be someone's secret access to a special playground or vacation spot, for the other region looked fabulously entertaining.

  Could the children have gone through it? What she could see was surely appealing to little imaginations. There was even a candy stand in sight.

  Pyra was not one to enter anything she did not properly understand. She brought out the Reality Mask and oriented on the arch. It showed pictures of several arches, and within each was a different scene. Some were parks, some forests, and some quite alien landscapes.

  Then she caught on. "Moonstone! This is a shortcut to the moons of Princess Ida!" For there seemed to be an infinite number of ever-smaller moons, each a world in itself. This could be a route to one of them.

  But who would have put such an edifice
out here in nowhere? That would have required real magic, and what use was it?

  Who but the Sorceress Morgan le Fey, with the considerable help of the Demoness Fornax! This was an attractive nuisance that would virtually suck the children in. Morgan would not need to do anything more; the children would be gone.

  Still, there was a problem. Folk could not go to the moons of Ida physically. They had to leave their bodies behind, because the moons were too small. So the bodies slept, somewhat in the manner of those who entered the dream realm via the peephole of a gourd. If the children had entered here, where were their bodies?

  Pyra walked around the arch, instead of through it. She saw that it did not lead directly to the other world; it was in the wall of a stout stone building that looked like a mausoleum. A tomb big enough to hold a number of bodies. That explained that: the bodies were stored there, and reanimated when they emerged. If they emerged.

  Pyra felt a chill. Had the Sorceress disposed of the children permanently? No, because then she would not be able to bargain with them as hostages to trade for Surprise's baby. They had to be recoverable, or the deal would be no good, and Surprise would be uncorrupted. So this had to be a two-way arch. Like the piper who piped the children into the mountain, not hurting the children but teaching the cheating villagers a terrible lesson. Pyra had always rather admired that piper; he knew what was what.

  She walked all the way around the building, finding no entrance other than the arch. So she couldn't go in and look for unconscious children in crypts or whatever. In any event she would not be able to wake them, without their souls. She had to find the souls first, and bring them back; then the bodies would reanimate.

  Pyra nerved herself, then walked through the arch. She experienced a momentary delirium; then she was in the other world. She was now a compacted soul, vastly smaller than her physical body, but looking and feeling much the same. Even her weight; gravity was the same, though this world should be way too small to match that of Mundania and Xanth. These moons were indeed remarkable.