You're Not Alone

  ***

  The knock on my door was quiet, more like a tap than a knock. It only took her twenty minutes to get to my apartment, but it was the longest twenty minutes of my life. When I heard the quiet rap on my door, I quickly picked up the crackers and cheese slices, throwing them back on the plate and gently put my phone and the plate down on the end table. I walked over and answered the door.

  The sight of Andjela made me feel safe which surprised me because I didn’t realize how unsafe I was feeling until the moment I saw her.

  What I had felt while waiting on the couch was that I was coming unglued, and I wasn’t sure I could keep myself from falling into some kind of catatonic state where I would just slip away from all of this. Andjela’s surprised and concerned phone call followed by her quick appearance made me realize the pointlessness of that. I needed to fight back because now I knew that what was happening was real, and looking at this soft, yet strong woman who was in my corner made me believe for the first time I could beat this. Whatever this was.

  She took a step forward and hugged me. It felt safe and secure, warm, sheltered and familiar. Her hug was brief, but it was long enough to mend a little bit of the irrationality that was swirling around inside me.

  She took my hand and walked me over to the couch. Before I sat down I noticed the light back on my phone. These spirits were playing some crazy games.

  “What I don’t understand is why you called me and why you immediately asked me if I was okay? How did you know?” I asked, bewildered by her phone call and her subsequent appearance.

  “I just did. I know that’s not an explanation, but when I am connected to a case, as I am with this one, the link is strong, and I can sense things like I did tonight. I knew something bad was happening.” She paused. “It changes things.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Yesterday, I only sensed good, moral, trusting spirits in your apartment—they wanted to help you. I didn’t sense anything threatening you. But tonight about an hour ago, I felt a pain right here,” she pointed to her temple, “like a stabbing pain. I have felt it before. I recognized the feeling. It’s caused by malevolence appearing among the spirits.”

  “Malevolence. Did you grow up with a dictionary and an English teacher or something?”

  She smiled. “Wicked, evil, nasty. You get the picture.”

  “I think I got the picture earlier.” I gave Andjela the best wry smile I could muster, and she started to laugh. It wasn’t a wild, loud crazy kind of laugh that makes you feel persecuted for your silly feelings. It was a quiet, respectful, understanding laugh that made me join her.

  “So tell me exactly what happened,” she said taking my hand in hers.

  Looking at my hand wrapped in Andjela’s, as odd as it felt, gave me enough strength and courage to describe to her what took place in my apartment. She stayed silent and nodded here and there until I was done.

  “Sounds like a rough night.”

  “You could say that.” I shifted back and sank into the couch. I took in a big breath and blew it out gradually to keep myself from crying. “This is all so crazy. If it weren't happening to me, I wouldn’t believe it.”

  Andjela put her hand on my shoulder. Once again, I felt immediate relief. Her touch was if anything, therapeutic. “I understand, Quinn. It isn’t easy. Most people aren’t believers until it happens to them.” Her smile lit up her green eyes. I studied her face. She was glowing with a beauty I had never seen in anyone before, but it wasn’t just her soft, pale skin or her long, silky black hair; it was the compassion in her smile, the control in her eyes, and the rationalization in in her tone when she spoke that made her beautiful. I knew she could help me, especially now that things had “changed.”

  “So, if I’m to believe the spirits that have been…around…or at least one of them is Matthew trying to tell me something, then who are the others, especially the ones tonight? Matthew would never try to scare me.”

  “No, he’s not trying to scare you. He’s been trying to help you.”

  “Then who or what is doing this?”

  “That I don’t know…yet.” Andjela’s hand moved from my shoulder. “But I’m here to help you find out.” She spoke to me gently and with reassurance.

  Tears rolled down my face. She reached out and gently wiped them with her finger. With growing difficulty, I asked, “Can they hurt me? I mean physically?”

  Andjela looked around the room as if she were searching for something, the same way she did in my apartment the day before. She looked back at me and smiled weakly. “They can, but I don’t know if that’s their purpose.”

  She must have seen the look of desperation on my face that was beginning to take over my total being. She moved closer to me and turned my head so that I was looking directly into her eyes. She studied my face as she spoke slowly and deliberately. “I have seen spirits physically hurt people, but usually it’s because their anger is directed at them. Here, I’m not sure. From what you’ve told me, there is nothing for Matthew to be angry about. In fact, it appears he has been trying desperately to tell you something. I believe that something will help you, maybe with your issues with his family and your property. If that is true, then I believe there are other spirits.” She moved back from me. “I will be honest with you. It worries me.”

  “Great,” I answered angrily. I sat up, becoming totally animated as I ranted on. “I don’t have enough to deal with or worry about. Now I have to worry about other spirits that could hurt me. Why would they want to hurt me? I haven’t done anything to anyone, especially not to anyone that is dead. In fact the only dead people I know are Matthew and my parents. What the hell? How could I piss some dead people off that I probably don’t even know? This is—” Andjela put her hand on my mouth.

  “I would like it very much if you would take a breath and try to calm yourself.”

  I stared at her, speechless. She removed her hand, allowing me to take a deep breath and a few more after that. I leaned back against the couch and started to giggle. “I sound like a lunatic, don’t I?”

  Andjela put her thumb and index finger together and held it up in front of me. “Just a little.”

  There was that reassuring smile again. I had been alone for so long I didn’t realize just how much I needed another human’s comfort and faith. With Andjela here, I almost felt whole again. How was that possible with someone I’d only known for a little more than a day?

  But I knew how. It was because this woman didn’t think I was crazy. She not only knew what was going on, she understood it. The difficult thing for me was I didn’t, so I really needed her. I didn’t know if I could ever let myself depend on someone again, but I had to do it if my life was ever going to be normal again. God, I thought, I don’t even know what normal is anymore!

  Andjela quickly stood up.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She put a hand up to silence me as she looked through the dining room down the hall to the bedrooms. She started walking in that direction. I got up and followed quietly, not knowing what else to do. Besides, I wasn’t going to be left alone if I didn’t have to be.

  “Whatever happens, stay behind me and be quiet. Do not do anything else. Do you understand me?” she hissed as she continued moving through the dining room to the hall. She didn’t look back. She kept walking.

  “Yes.”

  “Do nothing. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, okay,” I answered worriedly. In the short time I’d known Andjela, I’d never heard her talk this way. Her voice was different. The smoothness was gone replaced by an edginess. Her delicate tone was harsh. Her understanding was now commanding.

  “No offense, okay?”

  I almost laughed, but I remembered she said to stay quiet. So I did, remaining behind her. Halfway down the hall, Andjela stopped. I nearly ran into her but caught myself before I bowled her over. We stood still for a few moments. Even though I didn’t know what she’d already heard, I was pretty sure I kn
ew what it was she was looking for, or listening for. Still, I jumped at the sounds that suddenly filtered throughout my apartment.

  They were faint at first—papers rustling, things dropping on the floor—all coming from the office. The noises started to get louder. It sounded as if someone was throwing things, maybe books from the solid oak bookcase, hitting the walls and door. If Andjela wasn’t standing in front of me, I would have turned and ran right out of my own apartment building but I didn’t move because I felt stronger with her there.

  I stayed tight behind her as the sounds escalated to crashes and thuds like someone was angrily throwing everything inside the room against the walls. I could feel uneasiness build in Andjela, but not fear. That emotion was left for me.

  Her next move surprised me. She barged down the hall to the office door—that was closed—and aggressively tried the doorknob. The knob didn’t turn, and the door didn’t open.

  “I suppose this door was opened earlier. You never keep it closed.” She wasn’t asking me a question; it was more like she was telling me how it was. Andjela stood stoically in front of the door, never flinching when something thudded against it. It was as if she was willing it to open and she seemed to be on high alert.

  “I never keep this door closed,” I confirmed. Andjela turned and looked at me. “That is, unless it closes by itself.” I shrugged my shoulders. She chuckled and I noticed her body relaxing.

  Suddenly, the noises ceased. She gently grabbed the doorknob and tried to turn it again. This time, it opened. To my surprise, the room looked as it always did. Neat, everything in its place. Andjela stepped into the room and surveyed it. It didn’t seem to surprise her.

  No one would ever believe me if I were to tell them what just took place in the back room of my apartment. I started to tell her that until I noticed the look on her face causing me to step behind her once again and stay silent. I was glad Andjela was there. At least one person believed me. I watched her with admiration as she turned her head and listened intently with her eyes closed. I waited.

  Her eyes flew opened and she turned and ushered me out of the room, down the hall and into the living room.

  “Get your purse, coat, and keys. We need to leave.” Without a word, I grabbed my purse and keys off the table by the door and grabbed a coat off the coatrack. I ran to the end table and grabbed my cell phone as Andjela walked out of my apartment. I quickly followed, closing the door behind me and started to put my key in the lock. “You won’t need to do that. No one is going to get in for a while.”

  I looked at her in surprise. She was obviously just playing with me, so I tried to open my front door. I would prove her wrong. Whatever was in there wasn’t going to control me…or my apartment door.

  The handle wouldn’t turn. The door wouldn’t budge. “Now what?” I asked her, feeling totally exasperated.

  “We go get a drink. I’ll drive.”