Beware Falling Ice

  “Good to see you here,” he said.

  “Yeah, glad to be here.”

  He glanced around her to where Terrie and Lynn were still talking to Tony and Shayla. Dropping his voice, he asked, “How’s Lynn doing?”

  “Eh.” She shrugged. “She’s vertical and Terrie dragged her out of her writing cave.”

  “Gotcha.”

  They were sharing a table with Ned, Hunter, Todd, and Dani, a poly group that their circle of friends had given up trying to figure out. Ned was straight and married to Todd, who was gay and Hunter’s boyfriend, who was gay and Ned’s slave and had married Dani, who was straight and also Ned’s slave and girlfriend.

  Yeah.

  Tonight, Hunter and Dani were in the center of their group, with Todd seated on Hunter’s left and Ned seated on Dani’s right.

  “How are you feeling?” Rachel asked her. “The doctors have any answers for you yet?”

  Dani frowned. “No. They said I have fibromyalgia, likely triggered by my accident and surgeries, but nothing to explain the cardiac issues. The meds they have me on have helped with the symptoms, though. So they’re basically throwing their hands up in the air and saying they don’t know, but it’s working, so screw it.”

  “Wow. That really sucks.”

  “Tell me about it.”

  Terrie and Lynn joined them. After another round of greetings, they were approached by a waiter to take their drink orders.

  Rachel had ended up taking the seat next to Andrew, with Lynn stuck between her and Terrie.

  “I meant to come by the club last night,” Rachel told him, “but I ended up with a headache that wouldn’t go away.”

  “Oooh, sorry. No worries. Although you did miss a great laugh.”

  “What happened?”

  He repeated the story of Derrick and Marcia and the dildo misadventure, which even Rachel had to admit was funny as hell.

  Lynn had caught that, too. “I should put that in a book.”

  “Yeah, that’s one of those ‘too funny to believe’ kinds of things,” Rachel said.

  “Not as funny as having a coughing fit when you’ve got a butt plug in,” Hunter muttered from his side of the table, which made his other three companions roar with laughter.

  “I’m guessing that’s not really a dinner-appropriate story?” Andrew asked.

  Ned shrugged. “I thought it was hysterical at the time,” he said with a grin. “Then again, we don’t have carpets.”

  Chapter Three

  Rachel enjoyed the Suncoast Society munches. She frequently attended several local coffee times and other munches, but this group was, by far, the friendliest and most welcoming. She’d discovered Venture through them, made friends, and even met play partners. Most recently Andrew, who wasn’t a creeper, and who was a nice guy who’d become a good friend.

  A “relationship” wasn’t on her radar, though. Not right now. Didn’t need one, didn’t want one, and she had too much going on in her brain already to deal with one.

  Plus a relationship meant getting serious about putting her mental and emotional house in order. She’d gone through a period of serial dating failures not long after moving to Florida. That had taught her she was not only hardwired to be kinky, but that she wasn’t exactly “relationship” material yet.

  Being a free-range submissive suited her far better at this time in her life. Andrew seemed happy with the status quo, and it wasn’t like he was pushing her for more.

  Was it lonely?

  She wouldn’t deny it’d be nice to have someone to cuddle with at night, but she wasn’t stupid enough to think that another person could make her “whole.” Her small and carefully cultivated circle of friends knew her, loved her for who she was, and didn’t judge her. Beyond that, she had a wider circle of acquaintances who helped fill her time when she had a desire for human contact.

  That was all she needed for now.

  During her time in the BDSM lifestyle, all too frequently she’d witnessed firsthand people jumping into relationships way too quickly and then the resulting nuclear blast when things detonated in an ugly and irretrievably broken way.

  Andrew, for example. Even he was the first to admit he ignored warning signs early on with Kandy, signs that he should have paid better attention to.

  Rachel’s life wasn’t a science experiment. To attempt to see what might work, fail, and try again.

  No, thank you.

  One day, sure, she knew she’d let someone in, let them past her defenses, allow them a glimpse inside her darkest, ugliest closets. If they ran away, fine.

  If they still embraced her for who she was, then she’d see what happened. Maybe that person might eventually be Andrew. She didn’t know, and right now, she wasn’t going to stress over it, either.

  Until then, she was fine in the friend zone.

  “What’s new with you, anyway?” Andrew asked her.

  “I guess I have to fly to South Dakota in two weeks. Not looking forward to it.”

  “Why not?”

  “It’s my little brother’s graduation. He’s getting his doctorate.”

  They hadn’t done a lot of talking about their families, so she didn’t blame Andrew for his obvious confusion. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

  “Oh, it is. Unfortunately, the rest of the family found out about it when it got posted on Facebook by one of the cousins. Now, it’ll be a freaking invasion.”

  * * * *

  Andrew paid close attention to what Rachel didn’t say rather than what she did. Even more attention to her body language.

  The scowl and deep furrows in her brow told him lots of things, just not the whys of how she felt.

  “Not fond of some of your family, I take it?”

  “Understatement of the century.” She sipped her water. “But once Justin’s graduated, I can write the rest of them off for good and pretend they don’t exist.”

  “You’ve never really talked about your family before.” He thought maybe her parents were deceased, but he was more than a little ashamed to admit he didn’t even know that for sure.

  Some friend I am. I deserve to be alone.

  “That’s because there’s not much to talk about. Not looking forward to going. Especially not looking forward to going alone.” She let out a bone-weary sigh. “I’m tempted to pay someone to go with me just so I don’t have to face them by myself.”

  Something pinged his intuition. “Are you afraid of your family?”

  Another shadow briefly darkened her features before she seemed to shake it off. “Not all of them. Just one person in particular. And fear is a very strong word. But I don’t know a better one right off the top of my head. Not a physical fear, because I’m an adult now. Just…more emotional than anything, I guess. I don’t want to ruin this for my brother. I wish I had someone to be a…I don’t know. A buffer for me against them.”

  Andrew fought hard not to jump to a lot of conclusions about why she had those kinds of feelings, because none of them led to good places. If she wanted to tell him, she would. “When are you flying up?”

  “I need to book my flight tonight. If I wait too long I won’t get a seat. I’ve been putting it off today, and I felt too crappy to do it last night. It’s in two weeks. Last weekend of April. If I can’t get a flight, I’ll have to drive up.”

  “I’ll go with you.”

  She looked a little taken aback and he hoped he hadn’t just fucked up whatever it was they had by making the offer. “What?”

  “I mean,” he quickly added, “if you don’t think that’s creepy for me to offer. As long as I have Wi-Fi access and can check in with work, I’m good.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, really. I haven’t taken vacation time in a while. I’ve got a lot of accumulated time off coming.”

  She stared at him for a long, quiet moment. He was starting to think that maybe he’d accidentally nuked their friendship when she finally seemed to make up her mind.

  ??
?Oh, my god!” She threw her arms around him for a hug. “Thank you! Thank you so much! I’ll pay for your ticket and hotel room and everything.”

  “You don’t have to do that. If you want to share a room to save expenses, I’m okay with that, though. Totally up to you.”

  “Uh, I will pay for your ticket, and thank you!” She whipped out her phone and swiped open an app. “I can book our flights right now.”

  He smiled. “Before I have a chance to back out?”

  That finally pulled a smile out of her. “Sure.”

  “Seriously, though. Let me pay for my own ticket.”

  “Nope. You’re not my Dom. You can’t tell me what to do.” She stuck her tongue out at him, but the playful smile on her face was worth it. That was a running joke between them.

  He’d seen her smile before, heard her laugh, had frequently been the reason for her smiling or laughing.

  But something felt different this time.

  Like a weight had lifted from her shoulders.

  He was okay with that. If he could help her out, why not do it for a friend?

  “We have to fly out of St. Pete-Clearwater International,” she said. “The direct flight to Sioux Falls is cheaper that way. Otherwise, it’s a pain in the ass and way more expensive. We have to fly Corning Airways.”

  “Sure, no problem.”

  “Cool.”

  He gave her his personal information as she booked the flights.

  Well, now I’m committed.

  At least it was a trip. A vacation of sorts. He had no emotional investment in the events, other than being there to support Rachel. It was on a weekend, just a Friday and a Monday out of his work week, so it wasn’t even like he’d be missing a lot of work.

  That meant he could be completely available for her.

  The only downside so far was they’d have to be at the airport around five thirty in the morning for the flight up.

  “Sorry it’s such an early flight,” she said.

  “No worries. We can grab a hotel room close to the airport in Clearwater and catch a shuttle over. And that will be my treat.”

  She looked up at him, and this time when he stared into her green eyes he saw more than just gratitude there.

  “Thanks,” she said. “I won’t even argue with you.”

  She e-mailed him a copy of the itinerary and hotel information for up in Sioux Falls. By the time dinner ended, it seemed Rache was in a far better state of mind than she’d been when she’d first sat down next to him.

  Before parting ways for the evening, she gave him a long, strong hug out in the parking lot.

  “Thank you again,” she softly said, low enough Lynn and Terrie couldn’t hear her. “I really appreciate this. I owe you big time.”

  “You don’t owe me anything,” he said. “I’m happy to help you out. We’re friends, right?”

  “Yeah, but this is kind of going above and beyond. I really appreciate it.”

  He looked down into her green eyes. “Stop, please. I’ve been wanting to get out of my rut anyway. Going out of town for a weekend will do me a lot of good.” He grinned. “And I am a sadist. So watching you be uncomfortable around your family’s a bonus.”

  Fortunately for him, she took that the way he’d intended and he won another laugh from her.

  He loved hearing her laugh.

  I need to make a point of making her do that a lot more.

  After one final hug, he watched her climb into Terrie’s SUV and the three women headed off.

  Tilly walked up behind him. “Why is she still a free-range subby, dude?”

  Andrew turned to her. “Because I don’t want to make a mistake like I did the last time. I can tell she’s not exactly pushing me for more right now.”

  “Don’t wait too long. That’s all I’m saying. Just because you got burned once doesn’t mean you’ll get burned every time. It’s been, what, five or six months?”

  “Yeah.” He glanced back to where Terrie’s taillights had disappeared as she turned onto the main road.

  Cris and Landry were talking with Tony and Shayla over near the restaurant’s entrance. Tilly lowered her voice, which was absent any and all snark.

  “From what I’ve seen, Rache is a class act. No drama, not even a hint of it around her. I’ve seen the two of you play, and I’ve seen you both play with others. You two have a natural rapport together that’s almost magic when you’re playing. Quit wasting time and talk to her before she gets away.”

  “Well, we’re going to be spending a weekend together out of town in two weeks, so we’ll have alone time together.” He filled her in.

  Tilly grinned. “Here’s your chance to play the white knight.” Her smile faded. “Slay her metaphorical dragons.”

  “What if I don’t like what I find out?”

  She shrugged. “Then you haven’t lost anything much. But if you don’t at least see what might happen, you’ll kick yourself in the ass when she gets away from you and you’re watching some other Dom playing with her.”

  She poked him in the shoulder with her finger before she headed back to Cris and Landry, leaving him standing there to ponder her words.

  Fishing his keys out of his slacks, he headed for his car.

  Tilly was right, of course. He knew it.

  Now all he had to do was figure out a way to get past his own fears.

  * * * *

  Rachel texted Justin while Terrie drove them back to Lynn’s.

  Flight, hotel, and rental car booked. Bringing a friend with me.

  He must not have been busy because he responded almost immediately.

  :) Yay! Thank you!

  Okay, this would be worth it to see Justin. Who knew when she’d get another chance to spend time with him like this? Especially once he started a new job somewhere else in the country. He’d busted his ass to earn his doctorate. Once he landed a new job and moved, opportunities to spend time with him might be even fewer and farther between.

  It made her feel like a shitty older sister, too, that she’d bolted and ran away from South Dakota as soon as she’d graduated college.

  Pencil me in for all day on Sunday, k? Going to stay in SF and drive down.

  He responded a moment later. Absolutely! Who’s UR friend?

  She wasn’t sure yet how to approach this without outright lying to him. Which was something she didn’t want to do, yet telling him the full truth wasn’t an option, either.

  Guy I know. Not boyfriend, just good friends but will say he’s bf. UG won’t hassle me with him there.

  Justin wouldn’t need a translation of that abbreviation, or further clarification of her statement. He’d seen it plenty of times growing up, but had been too young to stand up for her, and too young to know the full truth.

  In fact, she’d insisted he didn’t stand up for her and make waves for fear of their uncle coming down on him, too.

  Ah, gotcha. UG and AK and their herd will all be there. Confirmed today. :(

  Rachel’s stomach knotted up tight. It’s OK. Not chickening out now.

  Love you, sis.

  She smiled. Love you, too, bro.

  She tucked her phone back into her purse.

  “Everything okay back there?” Terrie asked.

  “Yeah. Just updating my brother.”

  “Bet he’s happy you’re flying up,” Lynn said.

  “Yeah, he is.”

  “That was really nice of Andrew to volunteer to go with you.” Lynn’s voice sounded a little…lost. “He seems like a nice guy. You two should try dating.”

  Rachel met Terrie’s gaze in the rearview mirror. Bless Lynn’s heart, despite her own trials and tribulations, she still tried to put her friends first. “We’ll see. Maybe. If he doesn’t completely disown me as a friend by the time we get back to Florida. My family’s nuts.”

  “You could have asked Tilly to go,” Terrie joked.

  Rachel snorted. “That would have been fun, turning her loose on everyone.”

/>   “I’d pay money for that show.”

  “Yeah, but prison orange isn’t her color, and I have a feeling my uncle would manage to step on her last nerve right from the get-go. I don’t have that kind of bail money available.”

  “And you’re not worried about Andrew getting into it with him?”

  Rachel wouldn’t deny the fantasy of Andrew getting into her uncle’s face and backing him the hell down appealed to her on a visceral level. “Hopefully having Andrew there will keep my uncle in line and make it a non-issue. I’m there for my brother and no one else. That’s who I’ll focus on.”

  “Good for you,” Terrie said. “And try to have fun while you’re there. See some sights or something.”

  Rachel snorted. “You’ve never been to eastern South Dakota, have you?”

  “No. Why?”

  Rachel stared out the window at the darkness passing by outside. “Never mind,” she said. “It’s not like you’ve missed much.”

  Chapter Four

  Rachel awoke Monday morning at her usual time, just before five o’clock, still feeling light in spirit. No, she and Andrew weren’t in any kind of a formal “relationship” like that, but she did feel safe with him.

  She never would have let him top her in the first place if she didn’t feel safe with him.

  That he had the trust and respect of pretty much everyone in their circle of friends didn’t hurt, either.

  After working out in the exercise room at her condo complex, Rachel returned home to get ready for work. All during her workout, her mind had wandered, as it always did. One of the things she thought about was their early negotiations, how Andrew had said he liked that she was forthright and open with him about what she did and didn’t want, her limits, her expectations. No guessing, no false coyness.

  No games.

  She’d been too busy while growing up to contemplate her sexuality as a teenager. Too busy dodging her stupid uncle’s advances, until she’d got smart enough to scare the fuck out of the man so he started wanting to lock his bedroom door at night.