Boots

  * * *

  Now there is one City, one People and one Network. Now there is one time: the present. Necros, the lovers of the past, are its only enemy.

  As for the demonised Necronet, the memory hunters and the mindworms will show what I have already told you: I never made contact with it. I die as I have lived — alone.

  My last words are these: the past was different from the present and the future will be, too.

  6 Hits from the Safe Zone

  Random Automated Transcript

  Loc Ref: EU-Cavern 42-Cell 4284-

  Time Ref: Minus 9:00 to StatCount (428AB Month 7)

  B1-How many hits now?

  B2-948, only 52 more to go.

  B1-We’ll never make it. There’s only 9 mins left. That’s six hits a min.

  B2-We’ve done it before, we can do it again. We just need a surge. Focus.

  B1-But —

  B2-I’ll delete your ‘but’ from your arsebook if U don’t get tapping! Stop whining and get back to commenting?! U know the stats: 73% of all hits last month were the result of comments on other Lifeblogs, so get comming.

  B1-Yeah, I know the stats. We all know the stats. Is there anyone still alive on this web of rock who doesn’t know all about stats?! We’re weaned on numbers.

  B2-Look, we don’t have time for this now, blogmate. Find a blog, speed read it, make a fatuous complimentary comment, and pray to Gates they do likewise.

  B1-There’s million of us out there, all trying to pull the same scam. Just look at the traffic metres-the Net’s on 86 and rising … A million rats tapping in their cells in the cavern cities of five continents. Zombie surfers.

  B2-Oh spare me the old world poetry! Maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess in your posts were a bit more user-friendly a bit less weird!

  B1-I thought you liked my posts.

  B2-I do, but come on, what was that last one about?! Some play about mad dead people.

  B1-It was a homage to Beckett!

  B2-I didn’t see any Beckett on the visitor path register.

  B1-He’s a dead playwright!

  B2-Dead playwrights don’t get U no hits! The dead don’t surf!

  B1-Well, it shouldn’t be just about hits. What about meaning?

  B2-In the name of Arsebook, will U delete the blogosophy and execute your share of the cyberwork. This isn’t a role play game! The cull figures are set to —

  B1-I know, I know. Look, U Stumble and Digg us, and I’ll do the bogus comments.

  B2-That’s the cyberspirit! No one can boguecom like U can!

  [2 minutes silence]

  B2-Oh shetvers — we’re down to 4 minutes and we’re still 39 hits from the safe zone. We’ll have to go viral.

  B1-But U know what the Committee says about viral?! The Webpol executed ten thousand shutdowns last month alone.

  B2-We can get away with it. Just skim the title, make your comment look kinda relevant, and hope they don’t notice. The Netpols are snowed under.

  B1-But what f —

  B2-In precisely 4 minutes, we won’t have to worry about the Netpols coz our target won’t have been met and our cell will be shutdown. Which part of this aren’t U downloading? How many times have we been frozen in this conversation loop before?

  B1-Enough already! Let’s viral, capital V. I’ll do the soap opera reality shows, U take the news shows.

  [2 mins silence]

  B2-3 mins, 9 hits down. We’re getting there. We’re gonna make it. One more month of Bloglife, here we come. Who said we’d never make 40?!

  B1-What in the Windows!

  B2-It’s the blue screen … the blue screen of death. U read about it, but U never think it’s gonna happen 2U …

  [Cybernetic Webpol Agent 2189C]-Attention Cell 4284 surfers. Your accounts have been frozen for viral marketing offences. You surfing rights are withdrawn. Your cell is now offline.

  B2-It’s so … black.

  B1-And silent. It sounds so eerie without the air con. How long have we got?

  B2-I read a blog once that said two surfers had about a half-hour worth of air in the average cell before …

  B1-You always did love your stats.

  [Cell 8284 (Blogger 1 and Blogger 2) no longer being updated. Message Ends]