Forgotten

  “What?” Rone frowned at her, clearly not understanding.

  Kate felt stupid. God, what was wrong with her? Well, other than the fact that she’d just endured a brutal beating and shared the most private and painful experience of her life with a man she still couldn’t remember loving. She took a breath and tried again.

  “I mean, I told you my story. About why…why I didn’t want you, uh, tasting me.” Her cheeks felt warm but she made herself go on. “Now you have to tell me about the hunger.”

  Rone looked distinctly uncomfortable.

  “Ah, well…perhaps…perhaps we should keep it for another time.”

  “What?” Kate frowned at him. “Listen, Mister, I just spilled my guts to you and it was not easy. Now it’s your turn. Don’t tell me you’re backing down.”

  “All right.” Rone made a face. “No need to question my honor. I’ll tell you but I don’t want you to feel…to feel…”

  “To feel what?” Kate looked at him, honestly confused. “What is it? Are you afraid it’s going to make me feel bad?”

  “It shouldn’t,” he said, looking at her earnestly. “Truly, Kate, I don’t want it to. That’s why I’d rather not tell you.”

  For a moment Kate almost relented. But then she remembered how hard—how agonizing—it had been to dredge up the memory of her assault. Whatever Rone had to tell her, it couldn’t make her feel worse than that.

  “Just tell me,” she said evenly, looking him in the eyes. “What is the hunger?”

  He sighed, clearly defeated.

  “The hunger is the name we Wulven give to the desire we feel for our mates. Only…” He shook his head. “It’s not really just a desire. It’s more like…like an addiction.”

  “You’re addicted to your mate? To me, I mean?” Kate looked at him in surprise. “You mean…sexually?”

  “Yes, in a way,” he admitted in a low voice. “You know I have a Beast inside me—a feral creature that thinks only of feeding and breeding.”

  “I…I know,” Kate said, hearing the little catch in her voice. “The Knowing told me—warned me the first time I saw you. Or back at the mall, anyway.”

  Rone nodded. “It warned you when we first met as well. Yet, you still pursued me. I think it fascinated you—that and the fact that I wasn’t human.”

  “That sounds about right,” Kate said. “I love to get to know new people and other cultures have always interested me.”

  “I know.” He gave her a small smile. “That’s one of the things I’ve always loved about you.”

  “Okay, but getting back to the Beast…?” Kate prompted gently. “Do all Wulven males have them?”

  Rone nodded. “Before a Wulven male is mated, we have to allow the Beast time to come out and roam every month. At the convergence of the full moons, we go to the Howlund—a special area set aside for males, especially unmated ones—and let the Beast come out.”

  “What happens after you’re mated?” Kate asked.

  “Well, then we have another way to control it. To keep the Beast quiet.”

  “What way?” Kate prompted.

  Rone sighed reluctantly.

  “The Beast is a creature of pure emotion and appetite. It feeds on pleasure…sexual pleasure.”

  “So…because we’ve been separated for so long and we haven’t, uh…haven’t had sex…” Kate coughed. “I mean, are you telling me you need to get your rocks off? Is that it?”

  “The hunger isn’t fed by making love—or not only by making love,” Rone said softly.

  Kate felt a surge of relief. “Okay, so we could get you off another way? Maybe a, uh, hand-job? Or a blow-job?”

  Her cheeks got hot but she spoke the words anyway. After all, in the past several days, they’d touched each other very intimately and though she still couldn’t remember the past and Rone being her husband, she had to admit she was definitely attracted to the big Kindred. She could see her way clear to helping him out if he needed her to.

  But he was shaking his head.

  “I’m afraid you’re misunderstanding me. It isn’t my pleasure the Beast feeds on—it’s yours, Lalli. It’s the pleasure of a male’s mate that satiates it and keeps it quiet and contented.”

  “But…how can that be?” Kate asked blankly. “It can feel my pleasure?”

  “It can,” he admitted in a low voice. “But it isn’t just your pleasure that the Beast hungers for.”

  “What then?” Kate felt her breath catch in her throat. She thought she knew what he was going to say but…

  “Your honey.” He looked away and she saw that his big hands were clenched into fists. “The Beast—my Beast—is addicted to your honey. It craves it desperately, Kate.”

  “My honey? You mean my…” Kate nodded down at herself, to the V between her legs.

  Rone nodded. “Your juices. The sweet nectar your pussy makes when you’re aroused.”

  Kate felt herself go hot and cold all over.

  “And when it doesn’t get to…to taste my, uh, honey it becomes…what—dangerous?”

  She vaguely remembered hearing both Madam Shadow and Mistress Light warning the big Kindred that his hunger was getting out of control and there would be trouble soon if he couldn’t get it taken care of. But she’d been so out of it with pain the words hadn’t made sense. Now she understood.

  “My God,” she whispered. “I finally get it—why you told me you always had to, uh, ‘kiss’ me awake and ‘kiss’ me goodnight and the reason we had a freaking schedule for you to…to taste me. And now it’s been over six months so your Beast is probably starving.”

  Rone nodded, looking miserable.

  “Do you see why I didn’t want to tell you? Especially after what you told me?”

  “I guess so…” Kate bit her lip and then squeaked in pain. “Ouch!”

  “Are you all right?” He looked at her anxiously. “What happened? Is your back still hurting? I thought I healed all of it but…”

  “No, no,” Kate hastily reassured him. “My back feels fine—better than fine, actually. It’s my lip.” She touched one fingertip to it delicately and hissed in pain. “I practically gnawed through it when I was trying not to yell while Madam Shadow was whipping me.”

  “I know.” His eyes were shadowed. “I thought my heart would burst when I saw that. It nearly killed me to watch you take that beating and not be able to get lose and help you.”

  “It was no fun for me either,” Kate said grimly. “But you healed me up. And maybe something good came of it. Now we understand each other a lot more than we did before.”

  “Much good it does us.” Rone sighed. “What I still don’t understand is how you ever opened yourself to me in the first place after having such a horrible experience.”

  “I must have trusted you,” Kate whispered. Somehow, she couldn’t stop looking at him—his strong features…the way his eyes glowed with concern for her. And he smelled so good—it made her want to reach out and touch him. She put her fingers to her sore lip again.” Could…do you think you could heal this too? My lip, I mean? It really stings.”

  Rone’s piercing blue eyes were intent as he looked at her.

  “If you trust me,” he said quietly.

  “I do,” Kate whispered and she was no longer certain she was just talking about her lip.

  “Then I’ll heal you,” he murmured. Cupping her cheek, he lifted her jaw and leaned towards her. Kate’s heart was pounding as she felt his warm breath against her face. God, what was she doing? Just letting him heal me—that’s all, she insisted to herself. Then his hot tongue was bathing her wounded bottom lip, tracing delicately along her hurt flesh and taking away her pain.

  As she had before, Kate felt a tingling running through her, a healing warmth that spread to all parts of her body—especially the more sensitive areas. She moaned softly as she felt her nipples go tight and between her legs her pussy began to feel swollen and hot. God, how could he affect her so much with just a kiss? Because that
was what it had turned into—her lip was healed now but the big Kindred hadn’t withdrawn. Instead, he leaned closer and ran the tip of his tongue along the seam of her lips, asking for entry.

  Kate couldn’t deny him. She parted willingly, inviting him in but to her surprise, Rone didn’t immediately slide his tongue into her mouth. Instead, he sucked gently on hers, inviting her to invade him, offering himself and asking her to explore him with her own tongue, to know him more deeply and intimately than she ever had before.

  With another low moan, Kate took his offer eagerly. She pressed her tongue into his mouth, tasting him, enjoying the warm, spicy flavor that was foreign and yet somehow completely familiar. The taste that was Rone. God, she shouldn’t be doing this—shouldn’t want to do this. She’d just re-lived the worst memory of her life—she shouldn’t want anything to do with any male anywhere right now.

  But there was something about the big Kindred. Despite the Beast he kept chained inside him and the incredible danger he posed, he made her feel safe…made her trust him. Maybe because he was letting her take the lead.

  With a soft little growl of effort, Kate pushed the big Kindred over onto his back. Rone went willingly, letting her do what she wanted to him. Even when Kate straddled his chest and put her hand to his throat, he made no effort to stop her.

  “Lalli,” he murmured as her fingers tightened around his neck. Of course her hand was too small to really do any damage but that didn’t stop the surge of power Kate felt. The feeling of being in control was intoxicating—exhilarating. She squeezed as she leaned down to kiss him again—not to choke him or hurt him, but to hold him in place, to let him know she was on top and in charge.

  Rone made not a murmur of protest. He only opened for her, eagerly accepting her tongue in his mouth again as she kissed him ruthlessly. Kate ravaged his mouth, nipping sharply at his sensuous lips and pressing her tongue deep inside him, exploring him as though she owned him, as though she had every right.

  Rone’s eyes flickered from piercing blue to bright silver and she felt his big body shiver beneath her as she continued to kiss him. She could feel his muscles trembling beneath hers, like an engine running hot and hard, going into overdrive. But still he made no move to stop her or push her away—he just submitted to her kiss and let her do as she pleased with him.

  Deep in the darkest part of her mind Kate understood that what she was doing—the way she was pushing him—was dangerous. But somehow she couldn’t stop. She didn’t know what had gotten into her but she wanted this—wanted to be on top of him, kissing him, tasting him—wanted to push him and know he wouldn’t push back. Wouldn’t hurt her no matter what she did.

  “Gods, baby, please,” he groaned, when she at last came up for air. His eyes were pure, piercing silver and there was a look of desperate hunger on his face. “Please,” he begged in a deep, hoarse voice. “We can’t go on like this. I can’t…the Beast, we’re teasing it, riling it up. And I need to keep it down, keep it inside.”

  “You need to feed your hunger don’t you?” Kate released his throat but still sat on his chest, looking down at him.

  Rone looked away. “I don’t…I’ve managed this far. If we can just set a course to my home planet—to G’nera and I can get to the Howlund to let it out…”

  “How far away is that?” Kate demanded.

  “The nearest stable wormhole is at least a day away even with our hyperdrive going full speed,” he admitted. “And after that, at least another day’s travel at full speed.”

  “Can you wait that long?” she asked directly.

  His jaw clenched. “I’ll have to. I understand how you feel now, baby. I’d never ask you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

  “I’ll tell you what would make me ‘uncomfortable’ Kate said sharply. “Having your Beast come out and rip me to shreds. Now that would be really uncomfortable.”

  A look she couldn’t read passed over his face. “Actually, I used to be worried about that but I don’t think it would do that to you—not now.”

  “What then?” Kate demanded. “I’m sure it won’t just shake hands and agree to stay for tea if you lose control of it.”

  Rone looked away from her. “I think it’s safe to say the Beast…is more interested in breeding than feeding. At least when it comes to you.”

  Kate felt a shiver of fear run through her entire body but she tried not to show it.

  “So you’re telling me you might turn into a huge, hairy Beast at any minute but don’t worry, you can probably control it?”

  “I can control it,” he insisted, looking back at her. “I have for this long—I can stand the hunger a little longer.”

  “It’s been six months, Rone,” she pointed out. “Six months since we made love…since you…you tasted my, uh, honey.” Her cheeks were burning and she didn’t know why she was doing this—she only knew she couldn’t seem to stop pushing.

  “I’ll be fine.” He pushed her gently off him and sat up, putting his head in his hands. “I have to be.”

  “That’s not what Mistress Light and Madam Shadow said,” Kate pointed out.

  “What do they know?” he demanded, jerking his head up to glare at her.

  “Rone…your eyes are silver.” She gestured at his face. “What does that mean? Doesn’t it mean your Beast is close? Close to the surface?” She didn’t know how she knew that but something inside her whispered it was so. Maybe a buried memory that wanted to come out.

  Before, whenever his eyes went silver you knew it was time to take him someplace private, whispered a little voice in her head. Take him someplace quickly and raise your skirt and push his head between your legs. Then and only then when his tongue was buried in your pussy, tasting you, did you know he was safe…

  Kate reached for the memory eagerly—was she finally coming back to herself and regaining the time she had lost? But it slipped away like sand between her fingers, dissolving like a dream the moment one wakes up.

  “Gods…” The big Kindred ran a hand through his hair and let out a harsh sigh. “Kate, I think it’s time to hide you away,” he said. “We need to get you into one of the smuggling compartments on the far end of the ship and lock it up tight.”

  “What? No!” Kate shook her head. “Besides, what good would it do to try to hide from your Beast? You told me before that we used to play that game—that ‘Hide and Suck’—and you always found me by my scent. And aren’t your senses a thousand times stronger when you’re in your Beast form? Your senses and your physical strength too—whatever lock we use, you’ll just tear it right off and come for me anyway, won’t you?”

  “Well, we have to do something.” Rone ran both hands through his hair this time in obvious agitation. “I don’t want to hurt you, baby! We have to do something to hold back my Beast.”

  “We will.” Kate felt strangely calm and centered as she spoke. “We’re going to give it what it wants—what it needs—so desperately.”

  “What do you mean?” His blazing silver eyes narrowed.

  “It means,” Kate said evenly. “You’re going to taste me. Now.”

  Rone shook his head.

  “No. Not after what you told me. Not after what you went through at the hands of that bastard—who I’m still going to kill, by the way, as soon as we get back to Earth.”

  “Forget about him,” Kate said evenly. “I have. Or I was able to enough to trust you before.”

  “It took us months to get to that point,” Rone pointed out. “Months of me proving myself to you, showing you I would never hurt you, that I would always be gentle and careful of you, Lalli. It’s only been days since I found you again and you still don’t have your memories back. And for most of the time we’ve been together, your system was so loaded with fear toxins you couldn’t even bear to let me touch you—let alone do anything else.”

  “The fear toxins are gone now, you know that,” Kate said. “And as for it taking months and months, well…even in the few short day
s I’ve known you, you proved yourself over and over again to me, Rone.” She ticked the ways off on her fingers. “You saved me in the mall, even when I shot you—you hung on and pulled me up when I would have fallen. You came with me to Flame and Frost and refused to abandon me when I went into the Shadow and couldn’t get out. You saved me from that damn swimming pool filled with toxic gunk and you offered to take my beating from Madam Shadow…”

  A look of anger and sorrow passed over his face.

  “I’m not proud of that. I shouldn’t have let her touch you—should have been strong enough to break free and keep you safe.”

  “Don’t be sorry,” Kate said softly. “What happened was a good thing—it got us talking. Now we know where we stand. And I…” She took a deep breath. “I know what you need.”

  “But how can you even think of giving it to me—of giving yourself to me that way, after what you just told me?” Rone demanded, his voice ragged. “Dredging up that memory had to be horribly painful, baby—I don’t want to put you through any more.”

  “It was hard,” Kate admitted, putting her arms around herself. “But I think it was good in a way—to talk about it. It was…cathartic. You know I’ve never told anyone about it before? Not my roommates…not my Mom—nobody.”

  “Not even me,” Rone said softly, nodding. “But do you really think you could trust me—trust any male—after letting yourself remember it again?”

  “I think I can—I did before, didn’t I?” Kate frowned. “Tell me about it—you talked about it on the way to Flame and Frost but I was still so freaked out I didn’t really absorb it. How did we do it? How did you taste me that first time?”

  “Very slowly and very gently.” Rone’s silver eyes went soft and he stroked her cheek tenderly. “I think I told you—we started with your panties on and just went from there.”

  Kate bit her newly healed lip.

  “I think…I think I can do that,” she whispered, looking up at him. “I think if you’re very slow and patient with me…”

  “I swear I will be.” His eyes were half-lidded with desire now. “Gods, baby, if I could just taste you, even a little…even a few licks of your sweet honey would hold back the Beast—at least long enough to reach G’nera.”