Forgotten

  “Well, technically Kate is the patient, not me,” Rone pointed out uncomfortably. The hunger was a very personal issue—one a Wulven would normally only discuss with his mate.

  “She won’t be the only patient soon if we are unable to restore her memory and lessen her fear of you,” Sylvan said sternly. “Her problems directly affect you. It has already been six solar months since you last touched your mate so I ask you again, Brother—how is your hunger? You need have no shame in telling me—I have only your welfare at heart.”

  Rone sighed heavily. “I’m burning,” he admitted in a low voice. “It’s not very fucking pleasant but I’ll be all right for a little while longer.”

  Sylvan nodded. “And your Beast?”

  “In control,” Rone said tightly. “I would not come aboard the Mother Ship or allow myself to be in such close proximity to the female I love otherwise.”

  “Of course not. Forgive me.”

  Rone shook his head. “Nothing to forgive. I don’t blame you for asking—I know how many of the other Kindred look at Wulvens. You’re very tolerant to even allow me to board the ship in this condition.”

  “I’m trusting you,” Sylvan said evenly. “I know that the hunger makes your Beast restless but I trust you to control it.”

  Rone lifted his head. “I have never once had an uncontrolled change,” he said. “And I don’t plan to start now.”

  “Good, I believe you,” Sylvan said. “Is there anything else you want to tell me before I begin my examination of Kate?”

  “Only that our bond…” Rone pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to think how to put it. “Our bond,” he tried again. “It seems to be broken. Or if not broken, then almost completely buried somehow. At any rate, it’s totally inaccessible. I can’t bespeak Kate and she cannot bespeak me. It’s almost as if we were never bonded in the first place.”

  “That is very strange and troubling,” Sylvan said, looking worried. “I can only imagine how painful it must be to have your mate right in front of you and be unable to touch her either mentally or physically.”

  “Very fucking painful,” Rone assured him in a low growl. “Which is why I really hope you can give me some answers soon.”

  “I hope so too,” Sylvan said quietly. “And I assure you we will do everything in our power. But in the meantime, you might consider a trip to the Sacred Grove. One of the priestesses there may be able to cool your blood.”

  “I will…consider it.” Rone nodded grudgingly. He didn’t like to ask for help of the priestesses—they often wanted to “see into” a male before agreeing to help. It was a painful, invasive process not unlike mental exploratory surgery. But if there was no other way to cool his blood and ease the growing hunger, he might have to resort to it.

  Sylvan seemed to understand his reluctance.

  “It’s not a pleasant experience but sometimes it is necessary,” he said quietly. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get Kate’s scan started.”

  * * * * *

  “Well…the good news is we didn’t find any tumors or masses or abnormalities of any kind,” the blond Kindred doctor said.

  “I think I hear a ‘but’ coming up,” Kate said. She was sitting on the gurney attached to the complex scanning machine which seemed to consist of a vast, round glass bubble filled with swirling colored vapors. Sylvan had explained that the vapors “read” the brain waves and formed pictures of the anatomy at the same time.

  Even more interesting, he had told her the colored vapors were sentient creatures the Kindred had discovered on one of their many missions to find new genetic trade partners. Of course, they couldn’t form a trade with beings so very unlike themselves, but the sentient vaporous gasses were intelligent and extremely curious. Many had agreed to come with the Kindred in exchange for a constant flow of new information and stimulation. It was a symbiotic relationship on both sides and it made for a much more comfortable scan than the ones she’d endured back on Earth.

  Kate vividly remembered the grinding and clanking of the MRI machines she’d been subjected to when she was younger, as well as the tight, confined space she’d been shoved into. It was a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare—being shut up in a tight, dark tube while your ears were assaulted by a noise as loud as a freight train bearing down on you.

  The Kindred’s scanner was nothing like that—the sentient vapors made a soft, musical humming that was very soothing and the space inside the scanner was light and airy. All Kate had to do was lie still inside the vast glass ball, watch the swirling colors go by, and listen to their gentle music. It was so relaxing she had almost fallen asleep and she was rather sorry when it was over.

  In fact, the only thing she didn’t like about the whole experience was that the hospital gown she had to wear opened at the back. She was always self-conscious when she had to wear anything that showed her scars so she’d done her best to wrap the gown around herself, hiding almost everything.

  Now she was sitting alertly on the edge of the gurney, waiting to hear what was wrong with her. But according to Doctor Sylvan the answer was…nothing.

  “So?” she said again when he didn’t answer immediately. “You didn’t find any tumors but what’s the bad news?”

  “Well, that’s both the good news and the bad news. Believe it or not, a brain tumor isn’t a bad thing to us—we have very advanced surgical techniques to treat even the most stubborn growth.” Sylvan sighed. “Finding a mass in your brain would have explained everything and it would have been an easy fix—for us, anyway.” He shrugged. “We knew it was a long shot but it was necessary to rule out even the possibility of a physical abnormality before looking for other answers.”

  “So if there’s no physical problem wrong with my brain, what’s causing my memory loss? And the way…” Kate cleared her throat uneasily, glad that Rone was in the other room, outside the glass wall between the scanner and the control area. “And the way I feel when I get too close to Rone?” she finished, in a low voice. “Is it those, flowers he says I sniffed?”

  Sylvan spread his hands. “We don’t know. We’re analyzing the Dream Blooms you smelled which started this in the first place. Hopefully we’ll find some answers there. In the meantime, you don’t have to hang around here. You’re free to get dressed and go back to your suite to wait.”

  “Um…okay, but I don’t know where that is,” Kate pointed out.

  “Of course you don’t—I’m sorry.” Sylvan shook his head. “Forgive me for forgetting you don’t know your way around the Mother Ship anymore.”

  “Is Sophia still around?” Kate asked hopefully. “Maybe she could show me.”

  “I’m afraid she had to go pick up our twins from the day care,” Sylvan said gently. “But Rone can show you the way, I’m sure.”

  “Right, of course,” Kate said tightly. She wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed, trying to calm her nerves. Although she knew the big Kindred was supposed to be her husband, she still didn’t want to spend any more time alone with him than she had to. That panicky feeling she got when he was too close was so uncomfortable.

  Sylvan seemed to know what she was thinking because he leaned down and looked at her directly.

  “I don’t understand the reason you feel the way you do when you’re around Rone, Kate, but I do know that he loves you with his whole heart. He would die before he would hurt you.”

  “I know that.” Kate shifted again. Of course she knew cognitively he wouldn’t hurt her. But when every nerve in her body was on high alert and every instinct was shouting that she was in danger, that she had to run, it was hard to remember that she was actually okay.

  “You’ll be all right.” Sylvan patted her shoulder reassuringly. “We’ll get to the bottom of this—I promise.”

  “Okay. Thanks, I guess. Um…how is Rone taking it?” She looked at the tall figure of the Kindred warrior on the other side of the glass again. To her discomfort, she saw that he was looking back at her. Hastily, Kate dropp
ed her eyes.

  “He’s worried,” Sylvan said candidly. “But I think it’s better if you speak to him directly. I’ll send him in and blank the window so you can dress.”

  “Oh, uh…” Kate wanted to tell him not to but then she realized it would look like she was avoiding the big Kindred. “Okay,” she ended weakly.

  Sylvan nodded and walked out the door of the scan room. For a moment Kate could see him speaking to Rone and then the glass connecting window went black and the tall Kindred with the piercing blue eyes came in.

  “Hello. How was the scan?” He was holding the bundle of clothing she’d taken off earlier, when she was getting into the hospital gown. He started to hand it to her, then placed it on the gurney beside her instead.

  “Fine. Not bad at all.” Kate could feel her gut twisting at his proximity but she tried to keep her face impassive. “Nothing like the MRIs I had when I was a kid.”

  “I’m glad it didn’t bother you.” He looked at her legs, dangling far above the ground as she sat perched on the side of the gurney. “Would you like some help to get down?”

  Kate thought of the way her heart had nearly burst when his big, warm hand covered hers back at the mall.

  “No, thank you,” she said quickly. “I can manage myself—I’m used to being short.”

  “But—”

  Before he could finish, she had hopped off the table on her own. The action caused her gown to gape open in the back and she snatched it quickly closed again. When she looked up, she saw that Rone had his hand on a step-stool with a long silver handle on one side.

  “I was going to offer you this,” he said. “I know you don’t want to take my hand.”

  “Sorry.” Kate bit her lip. “I just…I know you’re not, uh, going to hurt me but this feeling I get whenever you’re close…”

  “I understand.” His face was a stony mask but she thought she could see the hurt beneath it.

  Kate sighed. “Crap. I’m really sorry, honestly.” She looked at her pile of clothes. “And I hate to say this but would you mind turning around while I change? I’m a really private person and I don’t think…I mean, even if we were married I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have let you see me naked. At least, not all the way.”

  “Why? Because of your scars?” He raised an eyebrow at her.

  Kate flushed and her hand went instinctively to her back.

  “What do you know about that? I don’t…”

  “I’ve seen them, Kate. They’re beautiful,” he said quietly. “Everything about you is beautiful to me.”

  “Not…not those. The surgery…”

  She’d had scoliosis as a child—a curvature of the spine so severe it would have been life threatening without treatment. The problem had eventually been corrected but the multiple spinal surgeries she’d gone through as a girl had left their mark on her.

  The twisted white scars that ran from the nape of her neck down to the small of her back made her feel vulnerable and ugly so Kate was always careful to keep them covered. She didn’t care if she had been married to the big Kindred—she was certain she would never have voluntarily shown him her scars—would never have allowed herself to be that vulnerable with anyone.

  “I don’t believe you,” she said flatly, staring into his piercing blue eyes. “I would never let you see those—even if we were married for three years.”

  “I have seen them,” he rumbled softly. “Touched them…kissed them.”

  “You…you wouldn’t.” The thought of him putting his mouth to that part of her was slightly horrifying. “Why would you want to—”

  “To show you how beautiful you are, Lalli. And I used to lick you there—to soften the tightness and ease the ache. The compounds in my saliva are healing to my mate. You always said it made you feel better…looser.” There was a pleading in his eyes that was hard to look at.

  “No!” Kate recoiled from him involuntarily. “I can’t…can’t believe I would ever let you do that!”

  He sighed. “It took me years to convince you I wanted to. Years to teach you how truly beautiful you are.”

  “I don’t…I can’t…” Kate shook her head. “Stop talking to me about the past…about a past I don’t even remember!”

  He looked stricken. “I’m sorry. I just thought—”

  “Well, you thought wrong,” Kate snapped. “Look, could you please just turn around so I can dress? You may have seen me naked but I don’t remember that either and it makes me really uncomfortable to have some guy I don’t know watch me change.”

  The hurt in his eyes was unmistakable this time but he turned silently, giving her his broad, muscular back. Kate changed as quickly as possible, putting back on the jeans and long-sleeved blouse she’d changed into before going with him to the Mother Ship. She had packed a change in a bag too but she wasn’t sure where it was—maybe still back in the small car-shuttle he’d brought her in.

  “I’m finished,” she said at last, smoothing the long, curly tendrils of her hair away from her face.

  Rone didn’t turn around. “Fine. Then let’s go to the suite.” He strode out of the scan area, his long legs eating up the ground quickly. Kate had to scramble to keep up with him.

  “Are we going to sleep? I mean, it is pretty late.” Kate looked up at him anxiously as she trotted to keep up with his long strides. They were walking down what seemed like a maze of interconnecting metal corridors. She usually had a good sense of direction but this was really confusing—she wondered if she’d really known her way around the big ship back before she lost her memory.

  “Don’t worry.” Rone spared her a glance. “I will take the couch and you can have the sleeping platform to yourself. In fact, you can have the whole suite to yourself for a while. I need to run an…” He sighed deeply. “An errand at the center of the ship before I can rest.”

  “What kind of errand?” Kate asked, wondering why she cared. Maybe it was the way he said it. The inflection in his deep voice made it sound like something he had to do, but was dreading greatly.

  “I need to speak to a priestess in the Sacred Grove,” he said shortly.

  “But—” Before Kate could ask anything else, they turned into a new corridor and he stopped in front of a plain metal sliding door.

  “Here we are.” He passed his palm over a flat black panel before the door and it whooshed open silently. Rone nodded her inside. “Go on—everything you need is in the suite. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.”

  Before Kate could protest further, he turned his back and strode off down the metal corridor, not looking back once.

  Chapter Nine

  “Tell me why you are here, Warrior.” The priestess who was attending him had the green streaked hair and green-within-green eyes of her kind. She was younger than most and had a compassionate way about her, for which Rone was grateful. Some of the older priestesses could be stern and unsympathetic. He supposed most of them had seen much too deeply into the hearts and minds of too many males. Doubtless that would make anyone cynical, after a while.

  “My mate has forgotten me,” he said, deciding to cut to the heart of the issue. “Our bond is broken—or if not broken, then completely buried. I am nothing to her now—less than nothing for she fears and shuns me.”

  The priestess frowned. “This is a very strange statement. Explain.”

  Rone opened his mouth but she shook her head.

  “No, wait—better that I simply Look Into you. I will understand more completely that way.”

  Rone didn’t like this but he had been expecting it. He sank to his knees before the priestess without complaint and looked up into her green-on-green eyes.

  “Now, Warrior, open your mind and let me in.”

  Lightly, she placed her fingertips against his temples and then he was flooded with the strange sensation of someone else rifling through the contents of his brain.

  The priestess had a light touch—he would give her that. But it was still very uncomfortable to ha
ve someone else sifting through his memories like sand, as though they were looking for shells at the seaside. The process seemed to go on forever but at last the priestess pulled away.

  “Ah, the pain,” she moaned softly, putting a hand to her heart. “First the agony of losing the one you loved more than your own life and not knowing if she was alive or dead. Then the anguish of finding her only to discover that she has lost her memory and her love for you. It overwhelming.”

  “I’m sorry!” Rone looked up at her anxiously. “I fear my sorrow has been too much for you to bear.”

  “No—no. Give me a moment. I will be all right.” The priestess steadied herself and took a deep breath. “The experience was just…intense.”

  “It’s almost more than I can bear myself,” Rone admitted in a low voice. “I love her so much, your holiness. And she…she doesn’t even know me. Nor does she wish to. She fears me.”

  “She fears the Beast within you,” the priestess said. “She senses the threat it poses for it was never tamed to her hand.”

  “That’s true,” Rone acknowledged heavily. “I thought she was too small and fragile and…and I was afraid I would hurt her in my fur-form.” He looked at the priestess earnestly. “You have to understand, I would rather cut off my right hand than hurt or frighten her. I…could not bear the thought of my Beast savaging her.”

  “She is stronger than you think,” the priestess said. “If you are granted the chance to renew your bond, you must not hold back again. She must tame your Beast.”

  “No!” Rone shook his head. “Never—I can’t risk that.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Not that it looks likely I’ll get a chance. I told you, she wants nothing to do with me.”

  “You must have patience,” the priestess told him. “The Goddess is working in this situation, Warrior. I swear to you that her hand is on both you and your mate.”