Micromegas

  CHAPTER IV.

  What happened on planet Earth.

  After resting for some time they ate two mountains for lunch, whichtheir crew fixed up pretty nicely. Then they decided to get to knowthe small country they were in. They went first from north to south.The usual stride of the Sirian and his crew was around 30,000 feet.The dwarf from Saturn, who clocked in at no more than a thousandfathoms, trailed behind, breathing heavily. He had to make twelvesteps each time the other took a stride; imagine (if it is alright tomake such a comparison) a very small lapdog following a captain ofthe guards of the Prussian king.

  Since our strangers moved fairly rapidly, they circumnavigated theglobe in 36 hours. The sun, in truth, or rather the Earth, makes asimilar voyage in a day; but you have to imagine that the going ismuch easier when one turns on one's axis instead of walking on one'sfeet. So there they were, back where they started, after having seenthe nearly imperceptible pond we call _the Mediterranean_, and theother little pool that, under the name _Ocean_, encircles themolehill. The dwarf never got in over his knees, and the other hardlywet his heels. On their way they did all they could to see whetherthe planet was inhabited or not. They crouched, laid down, feltaround everywhere; but their eyes and their hands were notproportionate to the little beings that crawl here, they could notfeel in the least any sensation that might lead them to suspect thatwe and our associates, the other inhabitants of this planet, have thehonor of existing.

  The dwarf, who was a bit hasty sometimes, decided straightaway thatthe planet was uninhabited. His first reason was that he had not seenanyone. Micromegas politely indicated that this logic was ratherflawed: "For," said he, "you do not see with your little eyes certainstars of the 50th magnitude that I can perceive very distinctly. Doyou conclude that these stars do not exist?"

  "But," said the dwarf, "I felt around a lot."

  "But," answered the other, "you have pretty weak senses."

  "But," replied the dwarf, "this planet is poorly constructed. It isso irregular and has such a ridiculous shape! Everything here seemsto be in chaos: you see these little rivulets, none of which run in astraight line, these pools of water that are neither round, norsquare, nor oval, nor regular by any measure; all these little pointyspecks scattered across the earth that grate on my feet? (This was inreference to mountains.) Look at its shape again, how it is flat atthe poles, how it clumsily revolves around the sun in a way thatnecessarily eliminates the climates of the poles? To tell the truth,what really makes me think it is uninhabited is that it seems that noone of good sense would want to stay."

  "Well," said Micromegas, "maybe the inhabitants of this planet arenot of good sense! But in the end it looks like this may be for areason. Everything appears irregular to you here, you say, becauseeverything on Saturn and Jupiter is drawn in straight lines. Thismight be the[1] reason that you are a bit puzzled here. Have I nottold you that I have continually noticed variety in my travels?"

  [1] All the editions that precede those of Kehl read: "It might befor this" B.

  The Saturnian responded to all these points. The dispute might neverhave finished if it were not for Micromegas who, getting worked up,had the good luck to break the thread of his diamond necklace. Thediamonds fell; they were pretty little carats of fairly irregularsize, of which the largest weighed four hundred pounds and thesmallest fifty. The dwarf recaptured some of them; bending down for abetter look, he perceived that these diamonds were cut with the helpof an excellent microscope. So he took out a small microscope of 160feet in diameter and put it up to his eye; and Micromegas took up oneof 2,005 feet in diameter. They were excellent; but neither one ofthem could see anything right away and had to adjust them. Finallythe Saturnian saw something elusive that moved in the shallow watersof the Baltic sea; it was a whale. He carefully picked it up with hislittle finger and, resting it on the nail of his thumb, showed it tothe Sirian, who began laughing for a second time at the ludicrouslysmall scale of the things on our planet. The Saturnian, persuadedthat our world was inhabited, figured very quickly that it wasinhabited only by whales; and as he was very good at reasoning, hewas determined to infer the origin and evolution of such a smallatom; whether it had ideas, a will, liberty. Micromegas was confused.He examined the animal very patiently and found no reason to believethat a soul was lodged in it. The two voyagers were thereforeinclined to believe that there is no spirit in our home, when withthe help of the microscope they perceived something as large as awhale floating on the Baltic Sea. We know that a flock ofphilosophers was at this time returning from the Arctic Circle, wherethey had made some observations, which no one had dared make up tothen. The gazettes claimed that their vessel ran aground on the coastof Bothnia, and that they were having a lot of difficulty settingthings straight; but the world never shows its cards. I am going totell how it really happened, artlessly and without bias; which is nosmall thing for an historian.

  CHAPTER V.

  Experiments and reasonings of the two voyagers.

  Micromegas slowly reached his hand towards the place where the objecthad appeared, extended two fingers, and withdrew them for fear ofbeing mistaken, then opened and closed them, and skillfully seizedthe vessel that carried these fellows, putting it on his fingernailwithout pressing it too hard for fear of crushing it.

  "Here is a very different animal from the first," said the dwarf fromSaturn.

  The Sirian put the so-called animal in the palm of his hand. Thepassengers and the crew, who believed themselves to have been liftedup by a hurricane, and who thought they were on some sort of boulder,scurried around; the sailors took the barrels of wine, threw themoverboard onto Micromegas hand, and followed after. The geometerstook their quadrants, their sextants, two Lappland girls[1], anddescended onto the Sirian's fingers. They made so much fuss that hefinally felt something move, tickling his fingers. It was a steel-tippedbaton being pressed into his index finger. He judged, by thistickling, that it had been ejected from some small animal that he washolding; but he did not suspect anything else at first. Themicroscope, which could barely distinguish a whale from a boat, couldnot capture anything as elusive as a man. I do not claim to outrageanyone's vanity, but I am obliged to ask that important men make anobservation here. Taking the size of a man to be about five feet, thefigure we strike on Earth is like that struck by an animal of aboutsix hundred thousandths[2] the height of a flea on a ball five feetaround. Imagine something that can hold the Earth in its hands, andwhich has organs in proportion to ours--and it may very well be thatthere are such things--conceive, I beg of you, what these thingswould think of the battles that allow a vanquisher to take a villageonly to lose it later.

  [1] See the notes to the speech in verse, "On Moderation" (VolumeXII), and those of "Russia to Paris" (Volume XIV). K.

  [2] The edition that I take to be original reads "sixtythousandths." B.

  I do not doubt that if ever some captain of some troop of imposinggrenadiers reads this work he will increase the size of the hats ofhis troops by at least two imposing feet. But I warn him that it willhave been done in vain; that he and his will never grow any largerthan infinitely small.

  What marvelous skill it must have taken for our philosopher fromSirius to perceive the atoms I have just spoken of. When Leuwenhoekand Hartsoeker tinkered with the first or thought they saw the grainsthat make us up, they did not by any means make such an astonishingdiscovery. What pleasure Micromegas felt at seeing these littlemachines move, at examining all their scurrying, at following them intheir enterprises! how he cried out! with what joy he placed one ofhis microscopes in the hands of his traveling companion!

  "I see them," they said at the same time, "look how they are carryingloads, stooping, getting up again." They spoke like that, handstrembling from the pleasure of seeing such new objects, and from fearof losing them. The Saturnian, passing from an excess of incredulityto an excess of credulity, thought he saw them mating.

  "Ah!" he said. "I have caught nature in the act"[1]. But he wasfooled by a
ppearances, which happens only too often, whether one isusing a microscope or not.

  [1] _j'ai pris la nature sur le fait_. A happy, good-natured turnof phrase expressed by Fontenelle upon making some observations ofnatural history. K.

  CHAPTER VI.

  What happened to them among men.

  Micromegas, a much better observer than his dwarf, clearly saw thatthe atoms were speaking to each other, and pointed this out to hiscompanion, who, ashamed of being mistaken about them reproducing, didnot want to believe that such a species could communicate. He had thegift of language as well as the Sirian. He could not hear the atomstalk, and he supposed that they did not speak. Moreover, how couldthese impossibly small beings have vocal organs, and what would theyhave to say? To speak, one must think, more or less; but if theythink, they must therefore have the equivalent of a soul. But toattribute the equivalent of a soul to this species seemed absurd tohim.

  "But," said the Sirian, "you believed right away that they made love.Do you believe that one can make love without thinking and withoututtering one word, or at least without making oneself heard? Do yousuppose as well that it is more difficult to produce an argument thanan infant? Both appear to be great mysteries to me."

  "I do not dare believe or deny it," said the dwarf. "I have no moreopinions. We must try to examine these insects and reason after."

  "That is very well said," echoed Micromegas, and he briskly took outa pair of scissors with which he cut his fingernails, and from theparings of his thumbnail he improvised a kind of speaking-trumpet,like a vast funnel, and put the end up to his ear. The circumferenceof the funnel enveloped the vessel and the entire crew. The weakestvoice entered into the circular fibers of the nails in such a waythat, thanks to his industriousness, the philosopher above could hearthe drone of our insects below perfectly. In a small number of hourshe was able to distinguish words, and finally to understand French.The dwarf managed to do the same, though with more difficulty. Thevoyagers' surprise redoubled each second. They heard the mites speakfairly intelligently. This performance of nature's seemedinexplicable to them. You may well believe that the Sirian and thedwarf burned with impatience to converse with the atoms. The dwarffeared that his thunderous voice, and assuredly Micromegas, woulddeafen the mites without being understood. They had to diminish itsforce. They placed toothpicks in their mouths, whose tapered endsfell around the ship. The Sirian put the dwarf on his knees and theship with its crew on a fingernail. He lowered his head and spokesoftly. Finally, relying on these precautions and many others, hebegan his speech like so:

  "Invisible insects, that the hand of the Creator has caused to springup in the abyss of the infinitely small, I thank him for allowing meto uncover these seemingly impenetrable secrets. Perhaps those at mycourt would not deign to give you audience, but I mistrust no one,and I offer you my protection."

  If anyone has ever been surprised, it was the people who heard thesewords. They could not figure out where they were coming from. Thechaplain of the vessel recited the exorcism prayers, the sailorsswore, and the philosophers of the vessel constructed systems; but nomatter what systems they came up with, they could not figure out whowas talking. The dwarf from Saturn, who had a softer voice thanMicromegas, told them in a few words what species they were dealingwith. He told them about the voyage from Saturn, brought them up tospeed on what Mr. Micromegas was, and after lamenting how small theywere, asked them if they had always been in this miserable state sonear nothingness, what they were doing on a globe that appeared tobelong to whales, whether they were happy, if they reproduced, ifthey had a soul, and a hundred other questions of this nature.

  A reasoner among the troop, more daring than the others, and shockedthat someone might doubt his soul, observed the interlocutor withsight-vanes pointed at a quarter circle from two different stations,and at the third spoke thusly: "You believe then, Sir, that becauseyou are a thousand fathoms tall from head to toe, that you are a--"

  "A thousand fathoms!" cried the dwarf. "Good heavens! How could heknow my height? A thousand fathoms! You cannot mistake him for aflea. This atom just measured me! He is a surveyor, he knows my size;and I, who can only see him through a microscope, I still do not knowhis!"

  "Yes, I measured you," said the physician, "and I will measure yourlarge companion as well." The proposition was accepted, hisexcellency laid down flat; for were he to stay upright his head wouldhave been among the clouds. Our philosophers planted a great shaft onhim, in a place that doctor Swift would have named, but that I willrestrain myself from calling by its name, out of respect for theladies. Next, by a series of triangles linked together, theyconcluded that what they saw was in effect a young man of 120,000feet[1].

  [1]The edition I believe to be original reads, "a beautifulyoung ... of 120,000 feet." B.

  So Micromegas delivered these words: "I see more than ever that onemust not judge anything by its apparent size. Oh God! you who havegiven intelligence to substance that appears contemptible. Theinfinitely small costs you as little as the infinitely large; and ifit is possible that there are such small beings as these, there mayjust as well be a spirit bigger than those of the superb animals thatI have seen in the heavens, whose feet alone would cover thisplanet."

  One of the philosophers responded that he could certainly imaginethat there are intelligent beings much smaller than man. Herecounted, not every fabulous thing Virgil says about bees, but whatSwammerdam discovered, and what Reaumur has anatomized. He explainedfinally that there are animals that are to bees what bees are to man,what the Sirian himself was for the vast animals he had spoken of,and what these large animals are to other substances before whichthey looked like atoms. Little by little the conversation becameinteresting, and Micromegas spoke thusly:

  CHAPTER VII.

  Conversation with the men.

  "Oh intelligent atoms, in which the Eternal Being desired to makemanifest his skill and his power, you must, no doubt, taste pure joyson your planet; for having so little matter, and appearing to beentirely spirit, you must live out your life thinking and loving, theveritable life of the mind. Nowhere have I seen true bliss, but it ishere, without a doubt."

  At this all the philosophers shook their heads, and one of them, morefrank than the others, avowed that if one excepts a small number ofinhabitants held in poor regard, all the rest are an assembly of mad,vicious, and wretched people. "We have more substance than isnecessary," he said, "to do evil, if evil comes from substance; andtoo much spirit, if evil comes from spirit. Did you know, forexample, that as I am speaking with you[1], there are 100,000 madmenof our species wearing hats, killing 100,000 other animals wearingturbans, or being massacred by them, and that we have used almostsurface of the Earth for this purpose since time immemorial?"

  [1] We saw, at the end of chapter III, that the story occurs in1737. Voltaire is referring to the war between the Turks and theRussians, from 1736 to 1739. B.

  The Sirian shuddered, and asked the reason for these horriblequarrels between such puny animals.

  "It is a matter," said the philosopher, "of some piles of mud as bigas your heel[2]. It is not that any of these millions of men thatslit each other's throats care about this pile of mud. It is only amatter of determining if it should belong to a certain man who wecall 'Sultan,' or to another who we call, for whatever reason,'Czar.' Neither one has ever seen nor will ever see the little pieceof Earth, and almost none of these animals that mutually killthemselves have ever seen the animal for which they kill."

  [2] Crimea, which all the same was not reunited with Russia until1783. B.

  "Oh! Cruel fate!" cried the Sirian with indignation, "who couldconceive of this excess of maniacal rage! It makes me want to takethree steps and crush this whole anthill of ridiculous assassins."

  "Do not waste your time," someone responded, "they are workingtowards ruin quickly enough. Know that after ten years only onehundredth of these scoundrels will be here. Know that even if theyhave not drawn swords, hunger, fatigue, or intempera
nce will overtakethem. Furthermore, it is not they that should be punished, it isthose sedentary barbarians who from the depths of their officesorder, while they are digesting their last meal, the massacre of amillion men, and who subsequently give solemn thanks to God."

  The voyager was moved with pity for the small human race, where hewas discovering such surprising contrasts.

  "Since you are amongst the small number of wise men," he told thesesirs, "and since apparently you do not kill anyone for money, tellme, I beg of you, what occupies your time."