Keshona Far Freedom Part 1

artifact but it was there. They're gone. I no longer have a transponder lock on any of them."

  "But they still have to be within Sol System, don't they?"

  "You're the one who told me gates have no limit to their range."

  "The transponder signals could be too weak or blocked, couldn't they?"

  "Yes. I'll keep a watch for their return."

  It was too late to change his opinion of Admiral Etrhnk and become more open with what little he knew of who Demba once was. Pan almost wished she had remained in this 'game' on Earth, where Etrhnk might ultimately change his plans for her. Now he couldn't know what further danger she might be facing.

  "Do you know where they were sent?" Pan asked. "Did you want the gate to take them again?"

  "I have an idea where they could be. I can't tell you about it. No, I did not want to lose Admiral Demba."

  "It will be dangerous for her where she went?" Pan asked.

  "Quite dangerous. I hoped she would remain in the field of play. I persisted because my only recourse for the information I wanted was to squeeze it from you by destructive interrogation of your mind."

  "You would have killed me and perhaps still learned nothing from me."

  "There was that risk. Since I had the admiral and I had some time for the game, I didn't need to take that risk. Now the game is over. You know who Demba is. Tell me."

  "I know another name for her but I don't think it's one you want to hear. I believe she has yet another name which hasn't reached my conscious. If I remember who that person was, it's possible I would tell you."

  "It's also possible you wouldn't. Should I keep you alive for a name? Names don't always explain who a person is."

  "The name I remember will have some meaning for you. The one I don't remember feels more important to me and may mean nothing to you. That I can't remember it yet seems to make it more important to me."

  "Tell me the name you remember."

  "Keshona."

  Etrhnk turned away from Pan, perhaps to hide a rare expression of emotion. Pan waited.

  "Do you believe me?" Pan asked.

  "Belief is only," Etrhnk calmly replied, "for those who need release from uncertainty. I'm always uncertain, until I act. And then I'm only certain that I've acted. Have you perhaps remembered a person named Jamie?"

  "Would you believe anything I said?"

  "I've believed everything you said. Have you lied?"

  "Admiral, according to your own uncertainty principle, you've believed nothing I've said. I know nothing of a person named Jamie."

  "I believe you. I use the word in a probabilistic manner. Are you not interested in knowing why I asked?"

  "I'm interested in everything you say, Admiral."

  "A high probability, since your life may depend on it."

  "Who is Jamie?"

  "She's the daughter of Admiral Demba."

  "How would you know that?"

  Admiral Etrhnk turned to face Pan again. "I asked her. She told me. Why would she have this child? Who would the father be?"

  Pan shook his head. He did believe Admiral Etrhnk. He didn't know who Jamie was. He almost wished he was her father, and that Harry the piano player had found a wife in Ruby Reed. He would have to wait for further news from his irregular flashbacks of searing images, and hope they were the truth.

  = = =

  Etrhnk did not have long to wait for the Golden One to make her appearance after he sent the Opera Master back to detention. She had already seen and heard Admiral Demba sing. As usual, she made no comment about the boy, as if she had no real interest in him, but he knew she did. The child was important to her. All children were important to those nearest them and Constant had to have been very close to him. That was as much as he wanted to know about the boy.

  Constant had to listen to Demba's performance one more time.

  "Golly, she still gives me chills!" the golden being declared. "Where do you think they're off to this time?"

  "Oz," Etrhnk replied.

  "You think she'll find some ruby slippers, or meet the Wizard?"

  It took a few moments for Etrhnk to discover the historical reference. He tried to smile. He failed.

  "Game's over, huh?" Constant patted him on the chest. "Don't worry. I'll worry for both of us. I'd better go now. Kiss me good-bye."

  1-26 1980CE - We Are All Connected

  "You missed the tree this time," Milly commented, smiling as Sam approached her. It was a genuine smile and a smile of relief. She had been afraid he wouldn't come. Now she could go on breathing, go on living. "Where are your glasses?" she asked. "I'm surprised you even saw me."

  "You won't believe this," Sam replied, "but the morning after I met you I woke up and I could see pretty well without them. I still carry them around and even put them on without thinking."

  "So, the near-sighted astronomer wasn't an act? I was sitting over by the statue one day, feeling sorry for myself, and I saw you walk right into that tree! You were reading as you walked. I almost laughed."

  "Reading about black holes." Sam grimaced at the memory. "They're the popular thing but I just can't find anything to like about them. Probably missing a chance. Where are your glasses?"

  "You won't believe this, but..."

  "Really? Have you been to an eye doctor?" It seemed like a miracle to Sam but he didn't believe in miracles.

  "No. How about you?" Sam was a miracle to Milly, not the change in her own eyesight.

  "Short of money," Sam replied. "I want to know why my eyesight changed but I don't want to find out it's just temporary or going to get worse. I'll enjoy it while I can. Should you be out in this cold, Milly? Can I take you somewhere warmer?"

  "I'm sorry to try to take advantage of you, Sam, but it would be nice if you could help me shop for groceries."

  "I'd be happy to do that!"

  "And then I'll be happy to cook you a meal."

  = = =

  "Sorry it was just TV dinners," Milly said, as Sam cleared the table in her apartment. "I can hardly fry myself an egg for breakfast, sitting in this rolling prison." She frowned at letting the resentment out. She had promised herself never to mention the wheelchair, never to bring up anything having to do with her disability.

  "That's actually better than I usually do for myself," Sam said. "I eat a lot of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I miss some meals entirely. I'm not very domestically organized, but I'm right on top of my classes. You can't give the students any excuses."

  /

  Sam could sense that Milly was straining to present herself favorably to him and was glad of it, even if he couldn't imagine why. Of course, she could be just as lonely as he was. She could also need a friend to help her in practical matters, like shopping. He would do whatever she wanted, just to keep seeing her. "Would you like to get out of the wheelchair, just for a little while?" he asked. "Can you sit on the sofa?"

  /

  "Watch this," Milly said, rolling to the sofa and locking the wheels of her wheelchair. She launched herself to the sofa but the wheelchair tires skidded backward too much. She fell on the floor before Sam could reach her. "For my next trick," she muttered. Red-faced, she held her arms up for Sam to take. Her embarrassment and feelings of failure were more than canceled by the physical contact with Sam. She almost hugged him.

  "I'm still pretty new at this paraplegic stuff," she said. "I used to have a nurse to help me but the insurance company got stingy. Are you going to sit down next to me?"

  /

  Sam sat a few inches away from Milly, close enough to smell her perfume, close enough that he could imagine she was not repelled by him, that she wanted him to be there. He had avoided eating any kimchi for several days. "Are you making some headway on your doctorate?" he inquired.

  "Oh, let's don't talk about that! What is it that you don't like about black holes?"

  "Gravity, of course. Oops!" Milly had tilted against him.

  /

  "Sorry," she said. Not sorry, she th
ought, righting herself. "It's a little tricky balancing myself on a dead butt without armrests. I'm not trying to get fresh." Change topic! "Gravity is the main ingredient of a black hole, I guess." Milly didn't want to fall back into her old way of dealing with the opposite sex, which - upon long introspection while in the hospital - she had realized was too much influenced by the popular media and her own low regard for most of the boys and men she had met. Sam was far different from her concept of the typical American male. "Gravity is also my main nemesis now," she said. "Curse Newton!"

  /

  Sam laughed politely and Milly's sour-but-not-serious expression changed into a small grin. He was still surprised Milly had invited him into her life - if he wasn't misinterpreting her attitude toward him. He was sweating every word he said to her, trying not to spoil everything. Indeed, he was hesitant to speak again.

  "Black holes?" Milly prompted.

  Sam licked his lips. "I'm not smart enough to say anything about black holes. Physics isn't even my strength as an astronomer."

  "What is?"

  "Uh," Sam stalled. He shook his head with a sheepish look.

  "Physics can't be that much of a problem for you," Milly argued. "You earned your doctorate. And you're teaching at a great school."

  "I was worried enough about it that I basically used my engineering degree to ease my way into physics. Don't tell anybody I'm not a real astrophysics astronomer."

  "But you must be competent." Milly caught herself. "I'm sorry. I just..."

  "Yeah, I'm competent," Sam said. "I just have a problem with reality - as it's described by physics. I probably need psychiatric treatment. Maybe it stemmed from my poor eyesight, not being able to see the real world clearly. I think