Stars and Hearts

  Chapter Sixteen

  At twenty past eleven the next morning, I awoke and opened my curtains to a wet, grey day which didn’t bother me at all, as my plan was to stay in and pamper myself with beauty treatments to make me look a million dollars!

  After a lazy couple of hours sipping coffee, eating toast and playing games on my phone, I entered my steamy bathroom, plastered my face with a mud mask, and washed my hair with some strawberry scented shampoo which mum had bought as a little gift to help cheer me up. Such a sweetheart! Then I dried my hair and plucked my eyebrows before sitting down with a healthy carrot and nut salad. I felt fantastic!

  Then a text came through from Suki. I dropped my fork in disbelief as I read it.

  I think I’ve won the actor boyfriend challenge! It said.

  My heart plummeted like a broken elevator. The day suddenly felt a hundred times greyer. I picked up my phone with shaking hands and typed, Why?

  I just got talking to Mick Sterry in the greenroom, came Suki’s reply. He asked me out!

  Oh, I replied. Didn’t we look at his house with Mum?

  Yes - block of flats in Bluebell Road.

  My mind flashed back to the time we sat in the pouring rain outside the dark and depressing looking block of flats where Mick lived. The thought of them now felt even more depressing, and I was bitterly regretting coming up with the idea of the challenge and staying in it to please Suki when I’d wanted to quit. Why did I let the little bitch persuade me to stay in the competition when I knew I had about as much chance of winning the challenge as winning twenty million pounds on the lottery?

  Hands still shaking, I replied, That’s nice - looks like you might win, but we’ll see how the date goes.

  We really like each other - I think it will go very well.

  Good luck! I typed, although I didn’t really mean it. I didn’t like the look of Mick Sterry anyway. His head was overly large for his body. He actually looked like a big creepy baby with wispy blonde hair. I could never fancy him in a million years. It looked as though Suki might well win this thing now, and it really hurt – especially as I’d spent the last hour or so making myself beautiful and being stupid enough to think positive thoughts. My ridiculous challenge idea had come crashing down on me like a multi-storey car park falling from the sky. Suddenly losing my appetite, I shoved the salad back into the fridge, stomped back to the bathroom, and stared into the mirror, watching tears stream down my devastated face. My chest hurt so bad I thought I might die. I ran to my room, threw myself onto the bed and bawled my eyes out.

  At quarter past four, I glanced at my alarm clock through the tears. Mum would be home in about an hour. Not wanting to have to explain my puffy eyes, I took a few deep breaths, splashed my face with cold water and applied some make-up to disguise my pain as much as I possibly could.

  I remembered my late gran’s favourite saying “There’s always light at the end of the tunnel.” This made me feel better. Suki only had a date – Mick wasn’t necessarily going to become her boyfriend – the date might be a complete disaster. Even if things did work out well for them and Suki did win the challenge, a bloke who looked like a creepy doll from a horror movie wasn’t exactly my idea of sex on legs. The challenge had only been created for a bit of fun. I needed to keep my dignity. For all I knew, their futures might be very dismal and mine could be very bright.

  At five o’clock, I sat down in my squishy purple chair and opened up a beauty magazine, trying to look perfectly happy, so Mum wouldn’t know I’d been upset. I actually had a genuine chuckle when I remembered the little white heart necklace Suki had purchased to help her win. Perhaps it had some terrible curse on it, and that’s why it had attracted Creepy Mick!

  Mum arrived home slightly earlier than normal, rushing in like a whirlwind.

  “Hiya!” I said, jumping in surprise.

  Mum smiled and said, “You’re looking very glam. Are you going out?”

  “No,” I sighed. “I’ve just been experimenting with make-up. Do you think I’ve overdone it?”

  “Not at all – you look beautiful.”

  “Thanks Mum!” I said, my body straightening up with confidence as my heart filled with a warm glow.

  Then she looked a bit apprehensive and said, “I’m going out.”

  “Oh,” I replied, not exactly thrilled at the thought of sitting on my own all evening. “Going somewhere nice?”

  “I’ve got a date.”

  “Good heavens Mum! Who with?”

  “You know Mr. Petropoulos who owns the shop?”

  “Blimey Mum!” I screeched, leaping to a standing position. “He must be seventy and he’s married, isn’t he?”

  “Not him – his brother.”

  “How old’s his brother?”

  “Younger than he is.”

  “Sixty-nine?”

  “I’m not sure – he’s his little half-brother – they have different dads.”

  “Have you seen a picture of him?”

  “No, but Mr Petropoulos wouldn’t set me up with him if he thought he was unsuitable. He sounds very sweet.”

  “Aww! Well, I hope you have a good evening then.”

  As she left the room to get ready, I felt really down again. Suki had a date, Mum had a date, Tracy had Ty, and I was sat there in my most beautiful make-up about to face the night alone watching TV. How long could I keep putting on a brave face, trying to stay in a positive frame of mind and spending money on silly spells? I felt like such a loser.

  Mum showered and got ready lightning fast, but she still looked stunning.

  “Have a lovely time, Mum,” I said, making a real effort to sound cheerful.

  “Thanks sweetie,” Mum replied pulling on her best black coat with the shiny gold buttons down the front, “I’ll be back by about ten o’clock. Are you going to be ok on your own?”

  “Of course!” I said, putting on a happy voice.

  As she closed the door, my head sank into my hands and yet more tears fell.

  I spent a miserable evening surfing the web for stuff on men and confidence as usual. I didn’t learn anything new – I’d probably read hundreds of articles on the subject now, but I was such a hopeless case that none of them seemed to be helping me.

  To my surprise, Mum arrived home earlier than expected.

  “How did it go?” I asked her.

  “I won’t be seeing him again,” Mum said. “He was very boring – not my type at all and he didn’t look much younger than his brother. You were right – he does look well over sixty. What am I going to say to Mr. Petropoulos in the morning?”

  “Just tell him his brother’s a lovely man, but not really your type.”

  “I suppose so,” Mum said apprehensively. “Yes – I’ll just say something like that – no spark between us, etc. Awkward though.”

  “Do you think he liked you?”

  “I’ve no idea, he was practically too shy to talk. I’ve never found shy people sexy.”

  “Oh,” I replied weakly.

  Was that how men saw my shyness then? Not sexy? Judging by the evidence, that’s exactly what they thought – apart from Dudley, who’d probably find a brick wall sexy.

  As soon as I went to bed, obsessing over the likelihood of dying a virgin, I located my confidence with men app, switched it on and lay there, but I just couldn’t relax. Last time I’d used it, I bounced to work full of confidence only to find out Ty was seeing Tracy, so I now associated the app with deep disappointment and I just couldn’t get into it.

  Feeling restless, I got up and brewed myself a cup of calming camomile and spearmint tea, then went back to bed, but sleep still didn’t come easy.

  When it finally did come, I dreamed I’d climbed up a ladder to the roof of a house and couldn’t get down again because someone took the ladder away and couldn’t hear my cries for help. Then Creepy Mick appeared on the roof. I was trapped up there with him and he was coming towards me. I decided to jump and woke up screaming. My poor m
um came rushing in thinking I was being attacked.