The Dream Club #1 - Corpse

PARTMENT!!" Faraday gave a little hop, clapped his hands together, and fairly flew into his house to make the call.

  The Man in the Red Jacket was shaking his leg, trying to loosen Cotton's grip. He succeeded, and hobbled towards the tree, pulling out his gun.

  Mary screamed, Mikey's mouth hung open, Stinky cursed, and I looked for avenues of escape. There were none.

  The guy was halfway up the tree now, stopped and pointed his gun at us.

  Then, we heard, "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE MISTER." Looking below, we saw Mr. Faraday, still dressed in his pajamas, holding the biggest rifle I've ever seen. He pointed it at the man, and cocked the trigger.

  The silence in the front yard was broken by the wail of sirens.

  "Now," Faraday said to the man, "you drop the gun and climb on down from there. Stand facing the tree and there won't be no trouble." The man did as he was told, and just then two squad cars pulled up, followed by two fire engines and Bill's car.

  We were all grinning now, as Faraday held the man at bay until Bill could handcuff him. Mary hopped up and down. I waved at my Mom, who I had expected Waterworks from. Instead, she raised both her hands together in a boxing champ pose. She's so cool.

  By now, the whole neighborhood was up and out, watching with interest. Two uniformed officers took the Man in the Red Jacket with them in a squad car. Bill got us down from the roof with the ladder, we all hugged Faraday, we all hugged my Mom and Bill, and we all hugged each other until Mary said to us boys, "Ewwww, I don't want to hug you jerks!"

  Everyone laughed.

  I said to Old Man Faraday, "Sir, I didn't know you had that rifle."

  "Yep," he said, "my pappy used to take me hunting. Bagged my first deer with this rifle. So, when I heard the Tarzan call, that always means help, I figured I'd be needing it." He aimed it towards the vacant field, and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened.

  "You mean," Bill said, "it wasn't loaded?"

  "Nope," said Faraday, "shells are in the house, but I didn't have time to load 'em."

  We all laughed at this. Then we laughed at the man slipping on the kitchen floor, and Stinky's biting him, and Cotton hanging on his ankle. We were in royal hysterics by the time Bella arrived on the scene.

  "Oh my GOD," she screamed, "WHAT HAPPENED, SHARON?"

  I looked at Mom, Mom looked at Mikey and Mary, and they shrugged their shoulders. Why not?

  I spoke. "Well, Bella, the Mafia guy broke into our house, we hid in the teepee, Stinky bit him on the arm when he found us in there, we ran outside, the man slipped on the water in the kitchen that we left when the hose popped off while I was giving Cotton a bath, Cotton bit him on the leg and held on, we climbed the tree in front, he pulled a gun on us, Faraday held a rifle on him until Bill got here, and that's about all there is to it, Bella."

  She was silent. Her mouth hung open. So THAT's where Mikey gets it! And then, she fainted.

  So, the firemen did come in handy after all. The paramedics revived her, and took her to the hospital, maybe to the Psychiatric Ward, I'm not sure. They said something about her blood pressure.

  Bill told us that when he phoned the house, and we didn't answer, that he knew something was wrong, so he called 9-1-1. He gave me a big hug, and that started MY waterworks. I cried because people kill other people, I cried because Stinky's Dad hits him and doesn't buy him sneakers, and I cried because I really wanted Bill to be my Dad.

  By this time, the other kids had gone back into the house, probably because I was blubbering too much.

  So, I decided to take this opportunity to tell Bill everything I knew.