The Slivers of Avalon: The Abandoned Edge

  THREE

  Hollie and I venture outside and I’m having some mixed feelings. OK, more than some. I want to go to Preston’s because I deserve to have fun but also, I don’t know what I’ll do if I see Blake. I’m too weak around him. Thankfully, I stop thinking after about twenty seconds when Olivia pulls up, laughing as I race Hollie to the car. She nudges me to the side, starting a fight for shotgun. I crack up and shove her right back, so happy to be having fun.

  Hols is the more outspoken of the two of us, and taller, but I’m aggressive in my own little way and I easily duck under her to get to the door first. I hold it open for her and she glares at me as she climbs in, her smirk giving her away.

  After we settle in, I pull the seat belt across my chest and look over at Olivia. “Hey, I just thought of this. You’re probably staying at Preston’s tonight, huh?”

  “Yeah, I was plannin’ on it. There’s plenty of room for y’all to crash, though—you know that. I promise you won’t have to be anywhere near ‘he who shall not be mentioned.’” I adore that Olivia has managed to stay true to herself even after living here in Indiana for quite a while now.

  Resigning myself to the fact that I won’t be able to leave if things get bad, I slump down in my seat and move the visor to look in the mirror. Now, I’m not really all about my appearance, but I think I look pretty good. I was right about the earrings. They peek through my hair as I move, complementing my coloring.

  This party is going to be fine. So what if I see Blake there—I’ll just ignore him. I decide that’s how I’m going to be about tonight and that’s that. No more wishy-washy bullshit.

  Preston doesn’t live far from Hollie—near the college housing. We get to his house after only a few minutes—not much conversation occurring during the drive due to the volume of the music. I wonder if this is a new trend for car rides.

  A lot of people are partying tonight. Cars line the street, making it next to impossible to find a parking spot. Olivia is going to have to park wherever she can find a place and the three of us will have to deal with hoofing it.

  “Damn that Preston for not leavin’ me a spot!” Olivia complains as she fixes her dark, voluminous bob and applies lip gloss before getting out and locking up the car.

  “Well, did you tell him we were coming?” Hollie asks, slinging her purse over her shoulder.

  “Yeah, I did. My gosh, he’s such a child! Well, I might just need to prepare myself for a little tiff, but whatever. It’s worth it. Come on, girls.” She tilts her head toward the people walking in front of us and we all head that direction.

  It takes a while to get to the house, given where we parked, along with our slow walking pace. I don’t mind at all, though. It’s allowing us to enjoy the evening air. The humidity has let up a bit. I hold my arms out to my sides, letting the air overtake me; happy the breeze is cool and not sticky.

  The party starts before we officially arrive. We run into a group of people Hols and I have known since we were in diapers. I stay behind my two friends and let them jabber away. Even if I could get drunk, I still would never be outgoing like they are. So I just shrug to myself and listen to the back-and-forth chatter, content with my simple thoughts. This won’t last, but I’ll take it.

  Once I can see Preston’s house, I step forward, grab Hollie’s arm, and wrap mine through hers. I’m sure as hell not about to walk in alone. We saunter up to the door, just behind Olivia, as if we haven’t a care in the world and belong at this house. With these people. And in all actuality, Olivia and Hollie pretty much do belong. I’m the one who has to pretend…

  The bass deafens me the moment the door opens. We shove our way down the front hall, heading straight for the drinks. Once we each have a cup in hand, we make a lap to see if anyone we might want to sit with for a while has shown up yet. We don’t find anyone so we claim the hard brick in front of the fireplace. It isn’t the coziest spot, but definitely the best vantage point. Gossiping for a bit, we waste our time people watching.

  I see someone and stop mid-laugh, nudging Olivia so hard she almost sloshes her drink all over herself.

  “Blake.” Not an exact sentence, but a definite statement. I have absolutely no clue what to do.

  Hollie stands up without hesitation, and then moves in front of me so I can’t see what Blake is doing or to whom he is speaking. I widen my eyes in a scared form of curiosity and force a grim smile.

  I don’t care that I’m not friends with everyone, as long as I have one good friend who watches my back. Which Hollie certainly does.

  “So, Alexis, who do you think you’ll end up dancing with tonight?” Hollie asks loudly enough so Blake or one of his buddies might hear.

  I play along and rattle off some names of guys who are cute, but I would never truly attempt anything with any of them.

  Olivia joins in the game, mentioning a few of Preston’s hot, single friends. She recently told me not to stay with Blake, and was also blatant about her feelings for Andrew. Just like Hols and me, Olivia is not all that happy about Blake’s behavioral change.

  Hollie babbles on about guys and how much fun the entire weekend is going to be without Blake just as he steps up to our little circle. He looks at me, his gaze boring through my eyes, somehow taking a direct path to my heart. Hollie’s mouth is open like she’s planning to say more, but she closes it when she notices Blake standing off to her side.

  He leans forward, puts his hands on his knees, and takes a deep breath. Moving uncomfortably close to me, his breath is hot on my ear. “I know I said we should spend some time apart, but there’s something I kinda wanna talk to you about. Can we go somewhere private for a minute?” He backs away a little and I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding.

  I look to Hollie for something, anything. Through the haze of the tiny buzz I know she has, all I get is a blank stare. So I’m on my own with this one.

  Daring to glance at Blake’s face, ohsoclose to mine, all I really want to do is jump into his arms and go somewhere alone with him. His eyes are taking over me again, making it hard to resist. But, I told myself I’d be strong and would do whatever it takes to get our relationship back on track, if that’s what is in the cards. And if not, I suppose we don’t even need to talk. Plus, he hasn’t apologized and I am not about to break the promise I made myself.

  With strength pushing its way through my soft, lowered voice, I answer him. “I’m sorry, but you’re the one who wanted this. I’m here with my friends. We can talk Sunday night—if you still want to then.” I look away so I won’t see his expression and cave. While staring down at my worn-out flip-flops, I feel him stand up and back away some.

  “All right. Sorry to have bugged you guys. I just thought…” Blake’s voice matches mine, but I can hear pain in it. I wonder if he sensed the ache in my heart, as well. I raise my head to watch him turn around and walk away.

  Hollie purses her lips. “Well, that was certainly uncomfortable. Let’s go back to the kitchen and see what’s going on in there.”

  Olivia nods in agreement. “Sounds good. We need a change of scene anyway. Nothing’s happening in this room.”

  We have to hold our cups over our heads as we weave in between all the people. It appears that our entire school felt the need to show up here tonight, not leaving a spare inch of space. We reach the kitchen and I walk over to the counter to mix up a drink. I don’t really like beer … the vodka and cranberry I had at Hols’ sounds good, though. But as I start mixing the drink, I feel an urge to stop and put down the bottle I’m holding. Almost like someone else is in my body, I reach in the cabinet and grab a new glass. I decide I need milk. Like, I have to have it right now.

  I turn around to the refrigerator and things get weirder. Andrew, Blake’s jerk of a friend, is standing with the door open and holding a gallon of milk.

  I clear my throat, but it’s of no use. When I speak it still sounds like there is a frog in there – even more so than usual. This thought makes me smile to m
yself a bit, making the situation even weirder.

  “Hey. What ya doin’ with that?”

  “I was gonna make a Dreamsicle. With the orange juice and all. You want one?”

  “Actually, it just popped into my head that I wanted something like that. Kinda strange…” This is creepy—my brain should not be working on any level the same as his. “I don’t know how to make those, though, I just want the milk.”

  “Yeah, same here. I figure if I’m gonna drink, I might as well be doing something good for my body at the same time, right?”

  “Right. I mean, sure?” It comes out like a question because I definitely don’t agree. Yet I feel the need to appease him so I keep talking. “Makes sense, I s’pose…” An even weirder vibe than normal is coming from Andrew and it’s definitely affecting me.

  Some guy whose name I can never remember busts into the kitchen, loud as can be. “Woo hoo! Keg stands out on the patio. Come on, guys!”

  The packed room clears in about seven seconds. Even Hollie leaves with a little wave.

  “Wait—where are you going?”

  “Don’t worry, sweets. I’ll be right back!”

  OK… What the heck is going on? I’ve been so completely focused on Andrew and the strangeness I’m feeling that I seem to have forgotten about everything else. Feeling like I just woke up from one of my dreams, I drift back toward reality a bit and am able to comprehend that the refrigerator door is still open.

  How long have I been standing here with Andrew? Has it been a while? Is that why Hols left?

  “Hey, you gonna close the fridge and bring that over here?”

  “Oh yeah. Sure.” Andrew appears just as dazed as I am. He shuts the door in a swift motion and, through my suddenly foggy vision, floats toward me. Or at least I think he does.

  Something’s going on with him. And me. Just wish I knew what…

  We make our drinks in silence, me following what he pours and stirs, and then walk out of the room together.

  I watch where Andrew goes and then I head the opposite way. Glad he went down the hall instead of outside, I wander out to the backyard to try to find either Olivia or Hollie. Or hopefully both.

  And I do. Hollie is over by the keg and I can only pray she doesn’t join in on the frat-like activities. Sure, we’re young and sure, people our age drink a lot these days, but I’ve always felt lucky not to have to count my friends among the carefree partiers. Going out tonight is way more an exception than the rule for the two of us. And even Olivia. I sigh and look over toward the people on my right.

  Olivia is standing in a corner away from any alcohol, making me look bad with a drink in my hand. She is chatting with a yet another person I don’t know. As the safer choice, I decide to join the latter of my two friends. I’ll get to Hollie in a few … I don’t feel like dealing with even more that’s not reality.

  “Hey guys. Am I interrupting?”

  “No, not at all. You remember Liz, right?”

  “Yeah, I think, maybe… Hi.” I smile at Liz while realizing that I have no clue who she is. Crap. Now I feel like a jerk. I should have just said ‘yes.’

  “So where’s your boy?” I ask Olivia before taking a sip of my freshly mixed drink, making myself focus on my friend instead Liz. I feel so awkward, which I’m used to, but it’s intensified tonight.

  “Ah, who knows? He’s probably gettin’ stupid along with everyone else here. I’m about to go in and watch a movie to get away from all this. Do y’all wanna join me?”

  I grin. “Actually, I think I do. I’m sick of everyone acting like a bunch of idiots, too. I could use a break.” Being sober around drunk people is not my idea of fun.

  “All right. Let’s meet in Preston’s room in about fifteen. I’ve gotta go find him first.”

  “No problem. See ya in a few.” I smile again at Liz, raising my drink a little, and then walk off on my own.