Edwina

  Chapter 17

  When the morning light hit her face, Edwina knew she couldn’t stay. Whatever she was feeling the night before was gone now. There was no way she could possibly live in Scotland. Why had she been so mesmerized with the idea? Because the Scot needed her that’s why. She reasoned. Had anyone ever really needed her? That was plain silliness, she scolded herself. Not to mention she was tired from the constant touring. She was ready to go home. Back to her safe life.

  He had given her until today to make up her mind. Throwing the covers off, she stomped into the shower at the hotel and scrubbed clean. She had a job to do and she would not do it over the phone. The Scot had given her his number to let him know of her decision. She had hardly slept through the night. She had responsibilities. Her apartment lease renewal was three months off, and what would she do with her Volkswagen? Not to mention her position she’d worked so hard for at the library.

  If she was patient, she might still have a chance as head librarian if she stayed on. Besides, what would her father do without her?

  Edwina had exactly six hours before her flight left for London and then home. The hotel checkout was eleven o’clock but she was not inclined to sit around and wait. Should she call for Reardon to come for her... no... she would take a bus out to Dunnegin Castle and let the Scot know face to face. She was not the right person for the job. There must be someone closer, someone that would take the enviable position he was offering. The money was more than she could ask for, but it was not the motivation she should consider. Besides, what about his fiancé?. Another good reason why she could not stay under the watchful eye of the Laird.

  After reading her Bible, she still was not convinced she could do the job. Nary a word had come from the Lord as to whether she should stay or go... so she allowed her practical nature to rule her senses. It was easier that way. Common sense told her she’d come there for a good reason and that was to keep Cecelia’s $4000 from being wasted. That was a good reason. This, however, was not.

  “May I see a bus schedule?” she inquired at the hotel counter.

  “Aye, where might ye be going today?” The lady asked kindly.

  “Dunnegin Castle."

  “Yes, it’s not far.”

  “Hmmm...” Edwina studied the list. “I see a bus leaves in fifteen minutes. Will I have time to make it back here to the airport by seven o’clock?”

  “Aye. If you leave on the half hour. You should have time. Would you like to leave your luggage here while you travel? We have a locked room for such purposes.”

  “Thank you for stowing my luggage. She followed the woman. “It’ll make the trip so much easier. I should be back by four o’clock so I can get to the airport on time.”

  “You are quite welcome. When you return inquire after your bags at the front counter. I’ll add your name to the list.”

  Edwina thanked the woman and made her way to the bus station stop just outside the hotel entrance. Determined to give her answer to Mr. Dunnegin with kindness, she whispered, “Lord help me to know what to say.”

  The early morning views from the bus as it rolled along the curving streets out into the countryside drew a certain sadness from her heart. She forced herself to put the feelings away. Three quarters of an hour later, Edwina stood at the end of the long drive at Dunnegin Castle. She started walking, the wind catching her hair and blowing it hither and yon. Early morning dew still rested on the grasses and the smell of freshened air filled her lungs. She dare not dally nor look too long at the rolling hills else she might throw her common senses to the winds and stay.

  When the door opened to her there stood Bertie, hair sticking out and her apron askew. “Miss Blair... what brings ya back?”

  “May I see Laird Dunnegin, Bertie.” She saw the scowl on her face and forgot she preferred her full name, not the one Edwina had assigned to her. “Is he in?”

  “He is ‘in’ as you say, but at his desk. Come in, the wind is blustery this morn. I will announce you.”

  Well, wasn’t Bertie formal this day? They’d left on such good terms, Edwina wondered why she was austere and stiff. That didn’t make what she had to do any easier.

  In a moment Bertie returned and marched her to the Laird’s office... a room that had not been opened to her before. The Scot looked up and stood, offering her a chair. Once she was seated, he sat down. “Have you an answer?” his manner was forthright.

  Why was everyone so solemn today?

  “Mr. Dunnegin, I want to say thank you for trusting in me regarding the position you offered. I have thought about it and realize I will not be able to take the position.”

  “Ah, I see. Perhaps the salary is not enough?”

  “Oh no, it’s not that...” What was it? She’d forgotten the reasons. “It’s just that I feel someone else, someone close here in Scotland would be a better fit for the position than I would.”

  “So you don’t think you could do the job?”

  “Oh, I think I could, it’s just that... that... well, I have a good position and I... well I just cannot accept.” Edwina twisted her hands in her lap.

  “You are unconvincing, Miss Blair.”

  Unconvincing? What did that mean?

  “That may be, sir, but my plane leaves this evening and I plan on being on it.” Edwina felt stubborn and tearful all at the same time. How dare he make her feel she couldn’t refuse his offer.

  The Scot stood and Edwina knew she was dismissed. “You have made up your mind. I thank you for your time, Miss Blair.”

  “Yes...” she stood on shaky legs remembering his help at the hotel that first night. And the trouble she’d caused him. That in itself should have been warning enough to the man to seek help elsewhere.

  “Thank you for the offer.”

  ‘Tis not for me I made the offer.”

  Edwina felt instant shame. Here she was thinking about her own circumstances.

  “It is imperative that you not mention this to anyone. Is that clear?”

  “Yes.”

  The sadness in his eyes cut straight to her heart.

  “What about Miss Ilana? She will handle your household duties.” Edwina said softly.

  “Aye, she will not.” The Scot said, closing the subject, as he stood to his feet and crossed to the window.

  Edwina heard the intake of her breath and schooled herself not to overreact. She wanted to retract her answer instantly but her father’s words came to her. When in doubt, sleep on it.

  When Alex Dunnegin did not look back, she quit the room. As she walked through the door she heard the squeak of his chair.