Poetry

"Going Under"

  Falling down, falling far

  Sparkling gray, I see the star

  The flash of light

  I feel your spite

  I try to reach out to you

  Asking "what did I do?"

  You held me down and screamed for me to die

  But I rose up again, like the angels flying high

  Then you broke my wings, tore them apart

  Pierced right through my heart

  You drug me down

  Beat me to the ground

  I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see

  Why would you do these things to me?

  Pain pounding through my body, numbing my mind

  You used to be so kind

  I trusted you, I loved you

  How could I foresee the things you would do?

  I see the darkness all around

  I scream and no one hears the sound

  I pray for someone to save me

  Pray to be set free

  I look inside myself and that is when I realize

  All the pain that I despise

  It strengthened me, it lifted me up high

  All the while I thought I was drug down, away from the sky

  With wings spread wide I break the chains you set upon me

  Now I can see

  I don't hate you, I never could

  But I know that you would

  So hate me, despise me, I don't care

  Because all my pain, you could never bear

  "Haunted"

  What went wrong?

  Where did it go?

  How did we fall so far?

  Why won't your love show?

  If you don't want me, say those words

  I know they'll kill me but I have to know

  What am I holding onto now?

  A broken promise, a shattered dream

  Haunted still by those words you just couldn't say

  "I don't love you anymore"

  I knew it would hurt

  But they'd hurt less than the lie I knew you said

  All your promises haunting me

  All my dreams reliving pain

  All this time I'm still haunted

  "Tourniquet"

  You're always there

  On the fringes of my memory

  Your room is bare

  Once a friend, now an enemy

  Tie it tighter, bind me to the ground,

  Stop this bleeding in my heart

  Tie the tourniquet tighter still, make me bound

  I don't want to fail, I don't want to fall apart

  But I can't seem to please you, no matter what I try

  I follow your orders, I try to make peace

  I keep wishing I could have the wings to fly

  I want this deadly pain to cease

  Tie it tighter, bind me to the ground

  Stop this bleeding in my heart

  Tie the tourniquet tighter still, make me bound

  I don't want to fail, I don't want to fall apart

  A sharp metal bite across my wrist

  That’s all it would take to end this pain

  The reasons to stay, it's not a long enough list

  The reasons to die, there's nothing left to gain

  Tie it tighter, bind me to the ground

  Stop this bleeding in my heart

  Tie the tourniquet tighter still, make me bound

  I don't want to fail, I don't want to fall apart

  Take the cloth, tie it tight

  Take the razor in my hand

  Maybe someone will faint at the sight

  My blood on the ground, I won't ever again give in to your demand

  Tie it tighter, bind me to the ground

  Stop this bleeding in my heart

  Tie the tourniquet tighter still, make me bound

  I don't want to fail, I don't want to fall apart

  A painful bite, into my skin

  Down my arm I see the blood run

  Suicide, an ultimate sin

  Never again will I see the rising sun

  Tie it tighter, bind me to the ground

  Stop this bleeding in my heart

  Tie the tourniquet tighter still, make me bound

  I don't want to fail, I don't want to fall apart

  A face in my mind, a loved one lost

  I realize too late that I wanted to stay

  Must I pay so high a cost?

  Close my eyes, erase my life, never again shall I see the next day

  It tied tighter, it bound me to the ground

  It stopped the bleeding in my heart

  The tourniquet tied tighter still and made me bound

  I've failed, I've fallen apart

  "Hero of War"

  Learn how to fight

  Learn how to kill

  Be the hero of war

  Then watch as it all stands still

  Take them away, from family and friends

  Defile them, and justify your cause

  Kill the innocent, don't let them get away

  Watch when they all pause

  Be the hero of war

  Take away their life

  End the lives, of those with the white flag

  Be the true hero of war, end the strife

  "Need"

  Screaming, bleeding, it all just a lie?

  Surely with this much pain I have to die?

  Help me, save me, find me

  I'm right before your eyes why can't you see?

  I need you here in my life

  When you're gone, in your place in my heart, is a knife

  A knife of white hot pain

  Twisting around, making me bleed again

  Why did you leave? Where are you?

  Have you found someone new?

  The cold presses all around

  I'm buried into the ground

  You don't see me

  Memories won't let me free

  Someone save me, from this nothing I've become

  Save me, put together what's come undone

  A heart of glass, now heart of stone

  Forever sealed, with love unknown

  Loved And Lost

  These take inspiration in people that I have loved, and people that I have lost. Some loved as family, some loved as friends, and others as lovers. Most are about my current love, others about past loves.

  "Stay With Me"

  Rain falling down

  Whispering the sound

  Of my love for you

  Treasure it now, these moments are too few

  Look into my eyes

  Can't you see the clear skies?

  Stay with me, be with me, please don't go

  Why can't I seem to make you know?

  Why can't I seem to really say "I love you"?

  Why can't you see that my words are true?

  Don't leave me now, please just stay

  Stay in my arms, see the sunrise, see the next day.

  "Surrender"

  A single breath, a single tear

  I hate to see the fear

  The fear in your eyes

  I want to be the one, to clear your stormy skies

  I see you with him, I hear you laugh at his joke

  I can't feel my own heart anymore, it is broke

  I want to make you love me

  I want to make you see

  That I love you, would die for you

  I just have to find, someone new