She and Allan
CHAPTER XIII
ALLAN HEARS A STRANGE TALE
For some minutes I remained before those curtains until, had it not beenfor something electric in the air which got into my bones, a kind offorce that, perhaps in my fancy only, seemed to pervade the place,I should certainly have grown bored. Indeed I was about to ask mycompanion why he did not announce our arrival instead of standing therelike a stuck pig with his eyes shut as though in prayer or meditation,when the curtains parted and from between them appeared one ofthose tall waiting women whom we had seen on the previous night. Shecontemplated us gravely for a few moments, then moved her hand twice,once forward, towards Billali as a signal to him to retire, which he didwith great rapidity, and next in a beckoning fashion towards myself toinvite me to follow her.
I obeyed, passing between the thick curtains which she fastened in someway behind me, and found myself in the same roofed and sculptured roomthat I have already described. Only now there were no lamps, such lightas penetrated it coming from an opening above that I could not see, andfalling upon the dais at its head, also on her who sat upon the dais.
Yes, there she was in her white robes and veil, the point and centre ofa little lake of light, a wondrous and in a sense a spiritual vision,for in truth there was something about her which was not of the world,something that drew and yet frightened me. Still as a statue she sat,like one to whom time is of no account and who has grown weary ofmotion, and on either side of her yet more still, like caryatidessupporting a shrine, stood two of the stately women who were herattendants.
For the rest a sweet and subtle odour pervaded the chamber which tookhold of my senses as _hasheesh_ might do, which I was sure proceededfrom her, or from her garments, for I could see no perfumes burning. Shespoke no word, yet I knew she was inviting me to come nearer and movedforward till I reached a curious carved chair that was placed justbeneath the dais, and there halted, not liking to sit down withoutpermission.
For a long while she contemplated me, for as before I could feel hereyes searching me from head to foot and as it were looking through me asthough she would discover my very soul. Then at length she moved, wavingthose two ivory arms of hers outwards with a kind of swimming stroke,whereon the women to right and left of her turned and glided away, Iknow not whither.
"Sit, Allan," she said, "and let us talk, for I think we have much tosay to each other. Have you slept well? And eaten?--though I fear thatthe food is but rough. Also was the bath made ready for you?"
"Yes, Ayesha," I answered to all three questions, adding, for I knew notwhat to say, "It seems to be a very ancient bath."
"When I last saw it," she replied, "it was well enough with statuesstanding round it worked by a sculptor who had seen beauty in hisdreams. But in two thousand years--or is it more?--the tooth of Timebites deep, and doubtless like all else in this dead place it is now aruin."
I coughed to cover up the exclamation of disbelief that rose to my lipsand remarked blandly that two thousand years was certainly a long time.
"When you say one thing, Allan, and mean another, your Arabic is evenmore vile than usual and does not serve to cloak your thought."
"It may be so, Ayesha, for I only know that tongue as I do many other ofthe dialects of Africa by learning it from common men. My own speechis English, in which, if you are acquainted with it, I should prefer totalk."
"I know not English, which doubtless is some language that has arisensince I left the world. Perhaps later you shall teach it to me. I tellyou, you anger me whom it is not well to anger, because you believenothing that passes my lips and yet do not dare to say so."
"How can I believe one, Ayesha, who if I understand aright, speaks ofhaving seen a certain bath two thousand years ago, whereas one hundredyears are the full days of man? Forgive me therefore if I cannot believewhat I know to be untrue."
Now I thought that she would be very angry and was sorry that I hadspoken. But as it happened she was not.
"You must have courage to give me the lie so boldly--and I likecourage," she said, "who have been cringed to for so long. Indeed, Iknow that you are brave, who have heard how you bore yourself in thefight yesterday, and much else about you. I think that we shall befriends, but--seek no more."
"What else should I seek, Ayesha?" I asked innocently.
"Now you are lying again," she said, "who know well that no man who isa man sees a woman who is beautiful and pleases him, without wonderingwhether, should he desire it, she could come to love him, that is, ifshe be young."
"Which at least is not possible if she has lived two thousand years.Then naturally she would prefer to wear a veil," I said boldly, seekingto avoid the argument into which I saw she wished to drag me.
"Ah!" she answered, "the little yellow man who is namedLight-in-Darkness put that thought into your heart, I think. Oh, do nottrouble as to how I know it, who have many spies here, as he guessedwell enough. So a woman who has lived two thousand years must be hideousand wrinkled, must she? The stamp of youth and loveliness must long havefled from her; of that you, the wise man, are sure. Very well. Now youtempt me to do what I had determined I would not do and you shall pluckthe fruit of that tree of curiosity which grows so fast within you.Look, Allan, and say whether I am old and hideous, even though I havelived two thousand years upon the earth and mayhap many more."
Then she lifted her hands and did something to her veil, so that fora moment--only one moment--her face was revealed, after which the veilfell into its place.
I looked, I saw, and if that chair had lacked a back I believe that Ishould have fallen out of it to the ground. As for what I saw--well,it cannot be described, at any rate by me, except perhaps as a flash ofglory.
Every man has dreamed of perfect beauty, basing his ideas of it perhapson that of some woman he has met who chanced to take his fancy, witha few accessories from splendid pictures or Greek statues thrown in,_plus_ a garnishment of the imagination. At any rate I have, and herewas that perfect beauty multiplied by ten, such beauty, that at thesight of it the senses reeled. And yet I repeat that it is not to bedescribed.
I do not know what the nose or the lips were like; in fact, all that Ican remember with distinctness is the splendour of the eyes, of whichI had caught some hint through her veil on the previous night. Oh, theywere wondrous, those eyes, but I cannot tell their colour save that thegroundwork of them was black. Moreover they seemed to be more than eyesas we understand them. They were indeed windows of the soul, out ofwhich looked thought and majesty and infinite wisdom, mixed with all theallurements and the mystery that we are accustomed to see or to imaginein woman.
Here let me say something at once. If this marvellous creature expectedthat the revelation of her splendour was going to make me her slave; tocause me to fall in love with her, as it is called, well, she must havebeen disappointed, for it had no such effect. It frightened and in asense humbled me, that is all, for I felt myself to be in the presenceof something that was not human, something alien to me as a man, which Icould fear and even adore as humanity would adore that which is Divine,but with which I had no desire to mix. Moreover, was it divine, or wasit something very different? I did not know, I only knew that it was notfor me; as soon should I have thought of asking for a star to set withinmy lantern.
I think that she felt this, felt that her stroke had missed, as theFrench say, that is if she meant to strike at all at this moment.Of this I am not certain, for it was in a changed voice, one with asuspicion of chill in it that she said with a little laugh,
"Do you admit now, Allan, that a woman may be old and still remain fairand unwrinkled?"
"I admit," I answered, although I was trembling so much that I couldhardly speak with steadiness, "that a woman may be splendid and lovelybeyond anything that the mind of man can conceive, whatever her age, ofwhich I know nothing. I would add this, Ayesha, that I thank you verymuch for having revealed to me the glory that is hid beneath your veil."
"Why?" she asked, and I thought that I
detected curiosity in herquestion.
"For this reason, Ayesha. Now there is no fear of my troubling you insuch a fashion as you seemed to dread a little while ago. As soon woulda man desire to court the moon sailing in her silver loveliness throughheaven."
"The moon! It is strange that you should compare me to the moon," shesaid musingly. "Do you know that the moon was a great goddess in OldEgypt and that her name was Isis and--well, once I had to do with Isis?Perhaps you were there and knew it, since more lives than one are givento most of us. I must search and learn. For the rest, all have notthought as you do, Allan. Many, on the contrary, love and seek to winthe Divine."
"So do I at a distance, Ayesha, but to come too near to it I do notaspire. If I did perhaps I might be consumed."
"You have wisdom," she replied, not without a note of admiration in hervoice. "The moths are few that fear the flame, but those are the mothswhich live. Also I think that you have scorched your wings before andlearned that fire hurts. Indeed, now I remember that I have heard ofthree such fires of love through which you have flown, Allan, though allof them are dead ashes now, or shine elsewhere. Two burned in your youthwhen a certain lady died to save you, a great woman that, is it not so?And the third, ah! she was fire indeed, though of a copper hue. What washer name? I cannot remember, but I think it had something to do with thewind, yes, with the wind when it wails."
I stared at her. Was this Mameena myth to be dug up again in a secretplace in the heart of Africa? And how the deuce did she know anythingabout Mameena? Could she have been questioning Hans or Umslopogaas? No,it was not possible, for she had never seen them out of my presence.
"Perhaps," she went on in a mocking voice, "perhaps once again youdisbelieve, Allan, whose cynic mind is so hard to open to new truths.Well, shall I show you the faces of these three? I can," and she wavedher hand towards some object that stood on a tripod to the right of herin the shadow--it looked like a crystal basin. "But what would it servewhen you who know them so well, believed that I drew their pictures outof your own soul? Also perchance but one face would appear and that onestrange to you. [Lady Ragnall perhaps?--JB]
"Have you heard, Allan, that among the wise some hold that not all ofus is visible at once here on earth within the same house of flesh; thatthe whole self in its home above, separates itself into sundry parts,each of which walks the earth in different form, a segment of life'scircle that can never be dissolved and must unite again at last?"
I shook my head blankly, for I had never heard anything of the sort.
"You have still much to learn, Allan, although doubtless there are somewho think you wise," she went on in the same mocking voice. "Well, Ihold that this doctrine is built upon a rock of truth; also," she addedafter studying me for a minute, "that in your case these three womendo not complete that circle. I think there is a fourth who as yet isstrange to you in this life, though you have known her well enough inothers."
I groaned, imagining that she alluded to herself, which was foolish ofme, for at once she read my mind and went on with a rather acid littlelaugh,
"No, no, not the humble slave who sits before you, whom, as you havetold me, it would please you to reject as unworthy were she brought toyou in offering, as in the old days was done at the courts of the greatkings of the East. O fool, fool! who hold yourself so strong and do notknow that if I chose, before yon shadow had moved a finger's breadth, Icould bring you to my feet, praying that you might be suffered to kissmy robe, yes, just the border of my robe."
"Then I beg of you not to choose, Ayesha, since I think that when thereis work to be done by both of us, we shall find more comfort sideby side than if I were on the ground seeking to kiss a garment thatdoubtless then it would delight you to snatch away."
At these words her whole attitude seemed to change. I could see herlovely shape brace itself up, as it were, beneath her robes and feltin some way that her mind had also changed; that it had rid itself ofmockery and woman's pique and like a shifting searchlight, was directedupon some new objective.
"Work to be done," she repeated after me in a new voice. "Yes, I thankyou who bring it to my mind, since the hours pass and that work presses.Also I think there is a bargain to be made between us who are both ofthe blood that keeps bargains, even if they be not written on a rolland signed and sealed. Why do you come to me and what do you seek ofme, Allan, Watcher-in-the-Night? Say it and truthfully, for though Imay laugh at lies and pass them by when they have to do with the eternalsword-play which Nature decrees between man and woman, until these breakapart or, casting down the swords, seek arms in which they agree toowell, when they have to do with policy and high purpose and ambition'sends, why then I avenge them upon the liar."
Now I hesitated, as what I had to tell her seemed so foolish, indeed soinsane, while she waited patiently as though to give me time to shape mythoughts. Speaking at last because I must, I said,
"I come to ask you, Ayesha, to show me the dead, if the dead still liveelsewhere."
"And who told you, Allan, that I could show you the dead, if they arenot truly dead? There is but one, I think, and if you are his messenger,show me his token. Without it we do not speak together of thisbusiness."
"What token?" I asked innocently, though I guessed her meaning wellenough.
She searched me with her great eyes, for I felt, and indeed saw them onme through the veil, then answered,
"I think--nay, let me be sure," and half rising from the couch, she benther heard over the tripod that I have described, and stared into whatseemed to be a crystal bowl. "If I read aright," she said, straighteningherself presently, "it is a hideous thing enough, the carving of anabortion of a man such as no woman would care to look on lest her babeshould bear its stamp. It is a charmed thing also that has virtues forhim who wears it, especially for you, Allan, since something tells methat it is dyed with the blood of one who loved you. If you have it, letit be revealed, since without it I do not talk with you of these deadyou seek."
Now I drew Zikali's talisman from its hiding-place and held it towardsher.
"Give it to me," she said.
I was about to obey when something seemed to warn me not to do so.
"Nay," I answered, "he who lent me this carving for a while, charged methat except in emergency and to save others, I must wear it night andday till I returned it to his hand, saying that if I parted from itfortune would desert me. I believe none of this talk and tried to be ridof it, whereon death drew near to me from a snake, such a snake as I seeyou wear about you, which doubtless also has poison in its fangs, if ofanother sort, Ayesha."
"Draw near," she said, "and let me look. Man, be not afraid."
So I rose from my chair and knelt before her, hoping secretly thatno one would see me in that ridiculous position, which the mostunsuspicious might misinterpret. I admit, however, that it proved tohave compensations, since even through the veil I saw her marvellouseyes better than I had done before, and something of the pure outline ofher classic face; also the fragrance of her hair was wonderful.
She took the talisman in her hand and examined it closely.
"I have heard of this charm and it is true that the thing has power,"she said, "for I can feel it running through my veins, also that it isa shield of defence to him who wears it. Yes, and now I understand whatperplexed me somewhat, namely, how it came about that when you vexed meinto unveiling--but let that matter be. The wisdom was not your own, butanother's, that is all. Yes, the wisdom of one whose years have bornehim beyond the shafts that fly from woman's eyes, the ruinous shaftswhich bring men down to doom and nothingness. Tell me, Allan, is thisthe likeness of him who gave it to you?"
"Yes, Ayesha, the very picture, as I think, carved by himself, though hesaid that it is ancient, and others tell that it has been known in theland for centuries."
"So perchance has he," she answered drily, "since some of our companylive long. Now tell me this wizard's names. Nay, wait awhile for I wouldprove that indeed you are his messenger with
whom I may talk about thedead, and other things, Allan. You can read Arabic, can you not?"
"A little," I answered.
Then from a stool at her side she took paper, or rather papyrus and areed pen, and on her knee wrote something on the sheet which she gave tome folded up.
"Now tell me the names," she said, "and then let us see if they tallywith what I have written, for if so you are a true man, not a merewanderer or a spy."
"The principal names of this doctor are Zikali, the Opener-of-Roads, the'_Thing-that-should-never-have-been-born_,'" I answered.
"Read the writing, Allan," she said.
I unfolded the sheet and read Arabic words which meant, "Weapons,Cleaver-of-Rocks, One-at-whom-dogs-bark-and-children-wail."
"The last two are near enough," she said, "but the first is wrong."
"Nay, Ayesha, since in this man's tongue the word 'Zikali' means'Weapons'"; intelligence at which she clapped her hands as a merry girlmight do. "The man," I went on, "is without doubt a great doctor, onewho sees and knows things that others do not, but I do not understandwhy this token carved in his likeness should have power, as you say ithas."
"Because with it goes his spirit, Allan. Have you never heard of theEgyptians, a very wise people who, as I remember, declared that man hasa _Ka_ or Double, a second self, that can either dwell in his statue orbe sent afar?"
I answered that I had heard this.
"Well the _Ka_ of this Zikali goes with that hideous image of him, whichis perhaps why you have come safe through many dangers and why also Iseemed to dream so much of him last night. Tell me now, what does Zikaliwant of me whose power he knows very well?"
"An oracle, the answer to a riddle, Ayesha."
"Then set it out another time. So you decide to see the dead, and thisold dwarf, who is a home of wisdom, desires an oracle from one who isgreater than he. Good. And what are you, or both of you, prepared to payfor these boons? Know, Allan, that I am a merchant who sells my favoursdear. Tell me then, will you pay?"
"I think that it depends upon the price," I answered cautiously. "Setout the price, Ayesha."
"Be not afraid, O cunning dealer," she mocked. "I do not ask your soulor even that love of yours which you guard so jealously, since thesethings I could take without the asking. Nay, I ask only what a brave andhonest man may give without shame: your help in war, and perhaps," sheadded with a softer tone, "your friendship. I think, Allan, that I likeyou well, perhaps because you remind me of another whom I knew longago."
I bowed at the compliment, feeling proud and pleased at the prospect ofa friendship with this wonderful and splendid creature, although I wasaware that it had many dangers. Then I sat still and waited. She alsowaited, brooding.
"Listen," she said after a while, "I will tell you a story and when youhave heard it you shall answer, even if you do not believe it, but notbefore. Does it please you to listen to something of the tale of my lifewhich I am moved to tell you, that you may know with whom you have todeal?"
Again I bowed, thinking to myself that I knew nothing that would pleaseme more, who was eaten up with a devouring curiosity about this woman.
Now she rose from her couch and descending off the dais, began to walkup and down the chamber. I say, to walk, but her movements were morelike the gliding of an eagle through the air or the motion of a swanupon still water, so smooth were they and gracious. As she walked shespoke in a low and thrilling voice.
"Listen," she said again, "and even if my story seems marvellous to you,interrupt, and above all, mock me not, lest I should grow angry, whichmight be ill for you. I am not as other women are, O Allan, who havingconquered the secrets of Nature," here I felt an intense desire to askwhat secrets, but remembered and held my tongue, "to my sorrow havepreserved my youth and beauty through many ages. Moreover in the past,perhaps in payment for my sins, I have lived other lives of which somememory remains with me.
"By my last birth I am an Arab lady of royal blood, a descendant of theKings of the East. There I dwelt in the wilderness and ruled a people,and at night I gathered wisdom from the stars and the spirits of theearth and air. At length I wearied of it all and my people too weariedof me and besought me to depart, for, Allan, I would have naught to dowith men, yet men went mad because of my beauty and slew each other outof jealousy. Moreover other peoples made war upon my people, hoping totake me captive that I might be a wife to their kings. So I left them,and being furnished with great wealth in hoarded gold and jewels,together with a certain holy man, my master, I wandered through theworld, studying the nations and their worships. At Jerusalem I tarriedand learned of Jehovah who is, or was, its God.
"At Paphos in the Isle of Chitim I dwelt a while till the folk ofthat city thought that I was Aphrodite returned to earth and sought toworship me. For this reason and because I made a mock of Aphrodite, I,who, as I have said, would have naught to do with men, she through herpriests cursed me, saying that her yoke should lie more heavily upon myneck from age to age than on that of any woman who had breathed beneaththe sun.
"It was a wondrous scene," she added reflectively, "that of the cursing,since for every word I gave back two. Moreover I told the hoary villainof a high-priest to make report to his goddess that long after she wasdead in the world, I would live on, for the spirit of prophecy was on mein that hour. Yet the curse fell in its season, since in her day, doubtit or not, Aphrodite had strength, as indeed under other names she hasand will have while the world endures, and for aught I know, beyond it.Do they worship her now in any land, Allan?"
"No, only her statues because of their beauty, though Love is alwaysworshipped."
"Yes, who can testify to that better than you yourself, Allan, if hewho is called Zikali tells me the truth concerning you in the dreams hesends? As for the statues, I saw some of them as they left the master'shand in Greece, and when I told him that he might have found a bettermodel, once I was that model. If this marble still endures, it must bethe most famous of them all, though perchance Aphrodite has shattered itin her jealous rage. You shall tell me of these statues afterwards;mine had a mark on the left shoulder like to a mole, but the stone wasimperfect, not my flesh, as I can prove if you should wish."
Thinking it better not to enter on a discussion as to Ayesha's shoulder,I remained silent and she went on.
"I dwelt in Egypt also, and there, to be rid of men who wearied me withtheir sighs and importunities, also to acquire more wisdom of which shewas the mistress, I entered the service of the goddess Isis, Queenof Heaven, vowing to remain virgin for ever. Soon I became herhigh-priestess and in her most sacred shrines upon the Nile, I communedwith the goddess and shared her power, since from me her daughter, shewithheld none of her secrets. So it came about that though Pharaohs heldthe sceptre, it was I who ruled Egypt and brought it and Sidon to theirfall, it matters not how or why, as it was fated that I must do. Yes,kings would come to seek counsel from me where I sat throned, dressed inthe garb of Isis and breathing out her power. Yet, my task accomplished,of it all I grew weary, as men will surely do of the heavens that theypreach, should they chance to find them."
I wondered what this "task" might be, but only asked, "Why?"
"Because in their pictured heaven all things lie to their hands and man,being man, cannot be happy without struggle, and woman, being woman,without victory over others. What is cheaply bought, or given, has novalue, Allan; to be enjoyed, it must first be won. But I bade you not tobreak my thought."
I asked pardon and she went on,
"Then it was that the shadow of the curse of Aphrodite fell upon me,yes, and of the curse of Isis also, so that these twin maledictions havemade me what I am, a lost soul dwelling in the wilderness waiting thefulfilment of a fate whereof I know not the end. For though I have allwisdom, all knowledge of the Past and much power together with the giftof life and beauty, the future is as dark to me as night without itsmoon and stars.
"Hearken, this chanced to me. Though it be to my shame I tell it youthat all may be clear.
At a temple of Isis on the Nile where I ruled,there was a certain priest, a Greek by birth, vowed like myself to theservice of the goddess and therefore to wed none but her, the goddessherself--that is, in the spirit. He was named Kallikrates, a man ofcourage and of beauty, such an one as those Greeks carved in the statuesof their god Apollo. Never, I think, was a man more beautiful in faceand form, though in soul he was not great, as often happens to men whohave all else, and well-nigh always happens to women, save myself andperhaps one or two others that history tells of, doubtless magnifyingtheir fabled charms.
"The Pharaoh of that day, the last of the native blood, him whom thePersians drove to doom, had a daughter, the Princess of Egypt, Amenartasby name, a fair woman in her fashion, though somewhat swarthy. In heryouth this Amenartas became enamoured of Kallikrates and he of her, whenhe was a captain of the Grecian Mercenaries at Pharaoh's Court. Indeed,she brought blood upon his hands because of her, wherefore he fled toIsis for forgiveness and for peace. Thither in after time she followedhim and again urged her love.
"Learning of the thing and knowing it for sacrilege, I summoned thispriest and warned him of his danger and of the doom which awaited himshould he continue in that path. He grew affrighted. He flung himselfupon the ground before me with groans and supplications, and kissingmy feet, vowed most falsely to me that his dealings with the royalAmenartas were but a veil and that it was I whom he worshipped. Hisunhallowed words filled me with horror and sternly I bade him begone anddo penance for his crime, saying that I would pray the goddess on behalfof him.
"He went, leaving me alone lost in thought in the darkening shrine. Thensleep fell on me and in my sleep I dreamed a dream, or saw a vision.For suddenly there stood before me a woman beauteous as myself clad innothing save a golden girdle and a veil of gossamer.
"'O Ayesha,' she said in a honeyed voice, 'priestess of Isis of theEgyptians, sworn to the barren worship of Isis and fed on the ashes ofher unprofitable wisdom, know that I am Aphrodite of the Greeks whommany times thou hast mocked and defied, and Queen of the breathingworld, as Isis is Queen of the world that is dead. Now because thoudidst despise me and pour contempt upon my name, I smite thee withmy strength and lay a curse upon thee. It is that thou shalt love anddesire this man who but now hath kissed thy feet, ever longing till theworld's end to kiss his lips in payment, although thou art as far abovehim as the moon thou servest is above the Nile. Think not that thoushalt escape my doom, for know that however strong the spirit, here uponthe earth the flesh is stronger still and of all flesh I am the queen.'
"Then she laughed softly and smiting me across the eyes with a lock ofher scented hair, was gone.
"Allan, I awoke from my sleep and a great trouble fell upon me, for Iwho had never loved before now was rent with a rage of love and for thisman who till that moment had been naught to me but as some beauteousimage of gold and ivory. I longed for him, my heart was racked withjealousy because of the Egyptian who favoured him, an eating flamepossessed my breast. I grew mad. There in the shrine of Isis the divineI cast myself upon my knees and cried to Aphrodite to return and give mehim I sought, for whose sake I would renounce all else, even if I mustpour my wisdom into a beauteous, empty cup. Yes, thus I prayed and layupon the ground and wept until, outworn, once more sleep fell upon me.
"Now in the darkness of the holy place once more there came a dream orvision, since before me in her glory stood the goddess Isis crownedwith the crescent of the young moon and holding in her hand the jewelled_sistrum_ that is her symbol, from which came music like to the melodyof distant bells. She gazed at me and in her great eyes were scorn andanger.
"'O Ayesha, Daughter of Wisdom,' she said in a solemn voice, 'whom I,Isis, had come to look upon rather as a child than a servant, since innone other of my priestesses was such greatness to be found, and whomin a day to be I had purposed to raise to the very steps of my heavenlythrone, thou hast broken thine oath and, forsaking me, hast worshippedfalse Aphrodite of the Greeks who is mine enemy. Yea, in the eternal warbetween the spirit and the flesh, thou hast chosen the part of flesh.Therefore I hate thee and add my doom to that which Aphrodite laid uponthee, which, hadst thou prayed to me and not to her, I would have liftedfrom thy heart.
"'Hearken! The Grecian whom thou hast chosen, by Aphrodite's will, thoushalt love as the Pathian said. More, thy love shall bring his bloodupon thy hands, nor mayest thou follow him to the grave. For I will showthee the Source of Life and thou shalt drink of it to make thyself morefair even than thou art and thus outpace thy rival, and when thy loveris dead, in a desolate place thou shalt wait in grief and solitude tillhe is born again and find thee there.
"'Yet shall this be but the beginning of thy sorrows, since through alltime thou shalt pursue thy fate till at length thou canst draw up thisman to the height on which thine own soul stands by the ropes of loveand loss and suffering. Moreover through it all thou shalt despisethyself, which is man's and woman's hardest lot, thou who having therare feast of spirit spread out before thee, hast chosen to fill thyselffrom the troughs of flesh.'
"Then, Allan, in my dream I made a proud answer to the goddess, saying,'Hear me, mighty mistress of many Forms who dost appear in all thatlives! An evil fate has fallen upon me, but was it I who chose thatfate? Can the leaf contend against the driving gale? Can the fallingstone turn upwards to the sky, or when Nature draws it, can the tidecease to flow? A goddess whom I have offended, that goddess whosestrength causes the whole world to be, has laid her curse upon me andbecause I have bent before the storm, as bend I must, or break, anothergoddess whom I serve, thou thyself, Mother Isis, hast added to thecurse. Where then is Justice, O Lady of the Moon?'
"'Not here, Woman,' she answered. 'Yet far away Justice lives and shallbe won at last and mayhap because thou art so proud and high-stomached,it is laid upon thee to seek her blinded eyes through many an age. Yetat last I think thou shalt set thy sins against her weights and findthe balance even. Therefore cease from questioning the high decreesof destiny which thou canst not understand and be content to suffer,remembering that all joy grows from the root of pain. Moreover, knowthis for thy comfort, that the wisdom which thou hast shall grow andgather on thee and with it thy beauty and thy power; also that at thelast thou shalt look upon my face again, in token whereof I leave tothee my symbol, the _sistrum_ that I bear, and with it this command.Follow that false priest of mine wherever he may go and avenge me uponhim, and if thou lose him there, wait while the generations pass till hereturn again. Such and no other is thy destiny.'
"Allan, the vision faded and when I awoke the lights of dawn played uponthe image of the goddess in the sanctuary. They played, moreover,upon the holy jewelled thing that in my dream her hand had held, the_sistrum_ of her worship, shaped like the loop of life, the magic symbolthat she had vowed to me, wherewith goes her power, which henceforth wasmine.
"I took it and followed after the priest Kallikrates, to whomthenceforward I was bound by passion's ties that are stronger than allthe goddesses in this wide universe."
Here I, Allan, could contain myself no longer and asked, "What for?"then, fearing her wrath, wished that I had been silent.
But she was not angry, perhaps because this tale of her interviewswith goddesses, doubtless fabled, had made her humble, for she answeredquietly,
"By Aphrodite, or by Isis, or both of them I did not know. All I knewwas that I _must_ seek him, then and evermore, as seek I do to-day andshall perchance through aeons yet unborn. So I followed, as I was taughtand commanded, the _sistrum_ being my guide, how it matters not, andgiving me the means, and so at last I came to this ancient land whereofthe ruin in which you sit was once known as Kor."