The Vnfortunate Traveller, or The Life Of Jack Wilton

deliuerie. Nothingat his handes wee sought, but that the curtizan might be more narrowlysifted and examined. Such and so extraordinarie was his care andindustrie heerein, that within few dayes after mistres _Tabitha_ andher pandor cride _Peccaui confiteor_, and we were presently discharched,they for example sake executed. Most honorably after our enlargementof the state were we vsed, and had sufficient recompence for all ourtroubles and wrongs.

  Before I goe anie further, let me speake a word or two of this_Aretine_. It was one of the wittiest knaues that euer God made. If outof so base a thing as inke there may be extracted a spirite, he writwith nought but the spirite of inke, and his stile was the spiritualtieof artes, and nothing else, where as all others of his age were butthe lay temporaltie of inkhorne tearmes. For in deede they were meeretemporizers, & no better. His penne was sharpe pointed like ponyard. Noleafe he wrote on, but was like a burning glasse to sette on fire allhis readers. With more then musket shot did he charge his quill, wherehe meant to inueigh. No one houre but he sent a whole legion of deuilsinto some heard of swine or other. If _Martiall_ had ten muses (as hesayth of himselfe) when hee but tasted a cup of wine, he had ten scorewhen he determined to tyranize. Nere a line of his but was able to makea man dronken with admiration. His sight pearst like lightning intothe intrailes of al abuses. This I must needs saie, that most of hislearning hee gotte by hearing the lectures at Florence. It is sufficientthat learning he had, and a conceite exceeding all learning, toquintescence euerie thing which he hard. He was no timerous seruileflatterer of the commonwealth wherein he liued. His tongue and hisinuention were foreborne, what they thought they would confidentlyvtter. Princes hee sparde not, that in the least point transgrest. Hislife he contemned in comparison of the libertie of speech. Whereas somedull braine maligners of his, accuse him of that treatise _de tribusimpostoribus Mundi_, which was neuer contriued without a generallcounsell of deuils, I am verily perswaded it was none of his, and of myminde are a number of the most iudiciall Italians. One reason is this,because it was published fortie yeeres after his death, and he neuer inall his life wrote anie thing in Latine. Certainly I haue heard that oneof _Machiuuels_ followers and disciples was the author of that booke,who to auoid discredite, filcht it forth vnder _Aretines_ name, a greatwhile after hee had sealed vp his eloquent spirit in the graue. Too muchgall dyd that wormwood of Gibeline wits put in his inke, who ingrauedthat rubarbe Epitaph on this excellent Poets tombstone, Quite forsakenof all good Angels was he, and vtterly giuen ouer to an artlesseenuie. Foure vniuersities honored _Aretine_ with these rich titles, _Ilflagello de principe Il veritiero, Il deuino, & Lvnico Aretino_. TheFrench king Frances the first, he kept in such awe, that to chaine histongue, he sent him a huge chaine of golde, in the forme of tonguesfashioned. Singularly hath hee commented of the humanity of ChristBesides, as Moses set forth his Genesis, so hath hee set forth hisGenesis also, including the contents of the whole Bible. A notabletreatise hath hee compiled, called _Il sette Psalmi ponetentiarii_.All the _Thomasos_ haue cause to loue him, because he hath dilated somagnificently of the life of Saint Thomas. There is a good thing that hehath set forth _La vita della virgine Maria_, though it somewhat smellof superstition, with a number more, which here for tediousnesse Isuppresse. If lasciuious he were, he may answere with _Ouid, Vitaverecunda est, musa iocosa mea est_, My lyfe is chast though wanton bemy verse. Tell mee who is most trauelled in histories, what good Poetis or euer was there, who hath not had a little spice of wantonnes indayes? Euen _Beza_ himselfe by your leaue. _Aretine_ as long as theworlde liues shalt thou liue. _Tully, Virgil, Ouid, Seneca_, were neuersuch ornaments to Italy as thou hast beene. I neuer thought of Italymore religiously than England til I heard of thee. Peace to thy Ghost,and yet mee thinkes so indefinite a spirite should haue no peace orintermission of paines, but be penning Ditties to the Archangels inanother world. Puritans spue forth the venome of your dull inuentions.A Toade swelles with thicke troubled poison, you swell with poisonousperturbations, your mallice hath not a cleare dram of anie inspireddisposition.

  My principall subiect pluckes me by the elbowe, _Diamante Castaldos_ themagnificos wife, after my enlargment proued to bee with childe, at whichinstant there grewe an vnsatiable famine in Venice, wherein, whether itwere for meere niggardise, or that _Castaldo_ still eate out his heartwith iealousie, Saint Anne be our recorde, he turnde vp the heeles veriedeuoutly. To master _Aretine_ after this, once more verie dutifully Iappeald, requested him of fauour, acknowledged former gratuities,hee made no more humming or haulting, but in despite of her husbandeskinsfolkes, gaue her her _Nunc dimittis_, and so establisht her free ofmy companie.

  Beeing out, and fully possest of her husbandes goods, she inuested meein the state of a Monarch. Because the time of childbirth drew nigh,and shee coulde not remaine in Venice but discredited, she decreed totrauell whether so euer I woulde conduct her. To see Italy throughoutwas my proposed scope, and that waie if shee woulde trauell, haue withher, I had wherewithall to relieue her.

  From my master by her fulhand prouokement I parted without leaue, thestate of an Earle hee had thrust vppon me before, and nowe I woulde notbate him an inch of it. Through all the Cities past I by no othername but the yong Earle of Surrey, my pompe, my appareil, traine, andexpence, was nothing inferiour to his, my lookes were as loftie, mywordes as magnificall. Memorandum, that Florence beeing the principallscope of my masters course, missing mee, he iourneied thether withoutinterruption. By the waie as he went, he heard of another Earle ofSurrey besides himselfe, which caused him make more hast to fetch me in,whom he little dreamed of, had such art in my budget, to separate theshadowe from the bodie.

  Ouertake me at Florence he did, where sitting in my pontificalibus withmy curtizan at supper, lyke _Anthonie and Cleopatra_, when they quaftestanding bowles of wine spiced with pearle together, he stole in erewe sent for him, and bad much good it vs, and askt vs whether we wantedanie guests. If he had askt me whether I would haue hanged my selfe,his question had beene more acceptable. He that had then vngartered mee,might haue pluckt out my heart at my hams.

  My soule which was made to soare vpward, now sought for passagedownward, my blood as the blushing _Sabine_ maids surprized on thesodain by the souldiers of _Romulus_, ran to the noblest of bloudamongest them for succour, that were in no lesse (if not greaterdaunger) so dyd it runne for refuge to the noblest of his bloude aboutmy heart assembled that stood in more need it selfe of comfort andrefuge. A trembling earthquake or shaking feauer assailed either of vs,and I thinke vnfainedly, if he seeing our faint heart agonie, had notsoone cheered and refreshed vs, the dogs had gone together by the earesvnder the table for our feare-dropped lims.

  In stead of menacing or afrighting me with his swoord, or his frounesfor my superlatiue presumption, hee burst out into a laughter aboue Ela,to thinke how brauely napping hee had tooke vs, and how notablie weewere dampt & stroke dead in the neast, with the vnexpected view of hispresence.

  Ah quoth he, my noble Lord, (after his tongue had borrowed a littleleaue of his laughter) is it my lucke to visite you thus vnlookt for, Iam sure you wil bid me welcome, if it be but for the names sake. It isa wonder to see two English Earles of one house, at one time togetherin Italy. I hearing him so pleasant, began to gather vp my spirits, andreplide as boldly as I durst Sir, you are welcome, your name which Ihaue borrowed I haue not abused. Some large summes of money this mysweete mistres _Diamante_ hath made me master of, which I knew nothow better to imploy for the honour of my country, than by spending itmunificently vnder your name. No Englishman would I haue renowmed forbounty, magnificence and curtesie but you, vnder your colours all mymeritorious workes I was desirous to shroud. Deeme it no insolence toadde increase to your fame. Had I basely and beggerly, wanting abilitieto support anie parte of your roialtie, vndertooke the estimation ofthis high calling, your alledgement of iniury had ben the greater, andmy defence lesse authorized. It will be thought but a policie of yoursthus to send one before you, who being a follower of yours, shall keepeand vphold the estate
and port of an Earle. I haue knowen many Earles myselfe that in their owne persons would go verie plaine, but delighted tohaue one that belonged to them (being loden with iewels, apparelled incloth of golde and all the rich imbroderie that might bee) to stand bareheaded vnto him, arguing thus much, that if y greatest men went not moresumptuous, how more great than the greatest was he that could commandone going so sumptuous. A noble mans glorie appeareth in nothing so muchas in the pompe of his attendants. What is the glorie of the Sunne, butthat the moone and so many millions of starres borrow their light fromhim? If you can reprehend me of anie one illiberall licentious action Ihaue disparaged your name with, heape shame on me prodigally, I beg nopardon or pittie. _Non veniunt in idem pudor & amor_, hee was loth todetract from one that he loued so. Beholding with his eies that I diptnot the wings of his honor, but rather increast them with additions ofexpence, he intreated me as if I had bin an Embassadour, he gaue me hishand and