Lie to Me
He tilts his head to the side. "My boss is my dad."
Yeah, and his dad only continues to employ him because he's his son. Max is good at what he does; it's just that he rarely does it. Though I imagine, if I were his employer, I would want him out of the office as much as possible, too.
"Max, honestly, I just want to try to get something productive done."
"Can that something productive be talking to Savannah and sorting this mess out? We both know you're not going to be able to focus until you do."
"I'll focus just fine when I don't have you talking to me."
Mia, the receptionist, walks into my office with two coffees.
Max twists around and smiles. "Thank you, darlin'."
Really?
She puts the mugs down.
"Thanks, Mia."
With a nod, she retreats out of the room.
"I'm going to marry that chick."
"She's already married."
Max throws his hands up in the air. "Damn it. Now, I'm sad. We should go out and make me feel better."
My phone vibrates on the table.
Savannah.
Max lifts his eyebrow. "I think it's time you answer the phone, Kent."
"I think you should fuck off, Max."
"Look, let's get real here for a minute, shall we? I know feelings aren't something we often discuss, but you are my guy, and I hate to see you like this. You look like shit, mate, and you're no fun. She kept something big from you, and that sucks, but she had her reasons for that, just like you had your reasons for going all tech geek after Freya."
"I'm not a tech geek."
"You built a business around computer security or some software thing or some shit, so no one could be hacked the way she hacked your account. Whatever. You're good with computers now."
The vibrating on my phone stops.
"Call her back." Max picks up his drink.
"Put the fucking coffee down. We're going out," I snap.
"Yes!" He slams the mug down, spilling coffee all over the fucking desk. "I knew you would come around."
"Clean this up."
"I'll go grab a towel while you call Savannah back."
I take a breath. I'm not going to call her back.
Max cleans up his mess, and we take our mugs into the kitchen, thankfully not passing Mia, as we didn't drink anything.
"Which pub, buddy?" Max asks as we walk out onto the street.
"The closest one."
"I'll take you to the closest one that's open at ten in the morning."
As promised, Max takes me to a pub very local and very open. I sit down while he gets the beers. He's going to talk about Savannah more; I know he is. Or he's going to feed me beers until I'm drunk, and everything comes spilling out. Since talking to my parents and sisters, not long after I found out about her past, I've managed to not talk to anyone at all about her.
Heidi and Brooke have sent countless text messages, begging me to open up, but I don't want to talk. I want to forget that I ever fell in love with Savannah, and I definitely want to forget that I still have her engagement ring sitting in my coat pocket.
I would take it out, but that would involve touching it.
"There you go, mate," Max says, putting a beer in front of me.
"Thanks." I immediately pick it up and take three long gulps.
That's better. Getting wasted always helps, right? The more I drink, the less I remember. At least, that's how it all worked out when Freya fucked me over. Something tells me, it's going to take a lot more alcohol to forget Savannah.
I must be some sort of magnet for bitches looking to screw someone over. Savannah might not have stolen my money and done a runner, but she's worse. She made me fall in love with her, see a future, want to settle down, get married, and have kids.
All along, she was hiding an entire life.
That's much worse than being a thief.
"Are we going to sit here in silence?" Max asks.
"Yeah, sounds good to me."
"Come on, buddy."
I put the glass down as my fingers start to itch to launch at him. "Max, leave it."
"You're being stubborn and letting Freya run your emotions. Don't give her that power. She can't have that power. Not after everything you've been through and how far you've come. Right now, you're only thinking of you and how you feel hurt, but look at it from Savannah's point of view."
I raise my eyebrow.
"Not only did her boyfriend cheat, but he also cheated with her sister, and the rest of her family blamed her for the problems they were having. She went through one of the worst things a person could go through when she lost her baby, and she had no one to help her. Everyone who was supposed to pick her up wasn't there in the way she needed. Can you imagine how lonely she must have felt? She ran away from everything she knew because she couldn't stay."
He throws his hands up. "You're too busy thinking about you that you've forgotten to think about her. How do you think she feels, having to talk about that again?"
Max's words scrape against my skin like sandpaper.
I let out a breath I didn't even realise I had been holding.
She must have felt so alone, so scared, and so betrayed. She was in too much pain to talk about her past.
Fuck, she was only nineteen, too. What the fuck is wrong with me? The thought of Savannah broken, alone, and in pain is fucking intolerable. And I'm part of her pain. I've hurt her, too.
"Stop letting your feelings about your ex cloud your judgment over this situation. They're nothing alike. Freya was a gold-digging whore; Savannah's lie was self-preservation."
The chair scrapes along the floor as I stand up. I need to get to her.
Max leans back in his seat. "About fucking time."
I barely hear his words because I'm heading out the door, my legs moving faster by the step.
I've been such a fucking idiot.
34
Kent
I turn right out the door and break into a sprint. Savannah will be at work, and Heidi's studio isn't far from here. I feel like I'm about to walk into the lion's den. She has every right to be angry with me--my sister, too--but I hope she will listen.
My heart pounds as my feet hit the pavement.
Outside the studio, Heidi is talking with the postman.
When he nods and walks off, she looks up and places her hands on her hips. "What do you want?"
I plant my feet in front of her, breathing like I just ran a marathon. My lungs feel like they're going to collapse. I'm in good shape, damn good shape, but I sprinted faster than I'd thought was humanly possible to get to my girl.
"Savannah," I say.
"You want Savannah?"
"Yes," I confirm.
"You'd better mean that. If you go in there and end up upsetting her, I'm going to bash your mindless head in."
What a lovely picture she paints.
"Jesus, Heidi, violent much?"
"I mean it. She's had enough heartache."
"I know that." My chest tightens as I think about what she's been through. I just need to hold her.
"I'm going to go for coffee then," she says, turning on her heel and stalking off.
The door to the studio suddenly looks a lot bigger and a lot heavier. Walking through it will either get me everything I've ever wanted or leave me with nothing.
My stomach rolls with nerves as I push the door open.
I step inside.
"Heidi, we have an order of twenty Hayley T-shirts."
I close my eyes. God, I've missed her.
She turns around when she gets no reply. She freezes, only her mouth parts. "Kent," she whispers.
Her hair is tied up today, high and messy. Her eyes are glossy, like she's not had much sleep.
"Hi."
"Hi," she replies. "Um, Heidi isn't here at the minute. I'm not sure where she went."
"She's gone to get coffee."
Savannah blinks, realising I'm here
for her and not my sister. "Is everything okay?"
I shake my head and take a tentative step closer. "No, it's not."
"What ..." Her lips press together, as she knows what's wrong.
"Savannah," I say, her name rolling from my lips. I take another couple of steps, and I'm right in front of her. "I'm sorry I reacted so badly."
Her shoulders sag. "No, it's not your fault. I should have told you and--"
"Stop." I reach out and brush my fingers along her jaw. My body instantly reacts at the touch. I feel myself getting hard, and my heart beats wildly as I long to wrap myself around her. "Max was right--amazingly. I wasn't angry with you. Everything from Freya came flooding back and how I felt then. I'm sorry," I say, leaning in and pressing my forehead to hers.
She doesn't push me away. Her grey eyes flit closed, and she whispers, "I didn't want to lie to you, not ever, but I had no idea how to talk about what had happened. I find it hard to relive that time. I'm sorry I was dishonest."
Sighing, I drop my hand and hold hers. She grips me hard, curling her fingers into my palms, and looks up.
"I wouldn't have judged you, and I wouldn't have made you go into details you weren't happy to discuss. I just wanted to know."
"I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry, Kent. You were incredible. I've never been happier. I never intended to lie, but I wasn't ready. Then, you opened up and told me all about Freya. You welcomed me into your family with open arms and made me feel special. That kind of made it harder to come clean because I was scared to lose everything. You're perfect, and I've never truly felt like I deserve that because you have so much more to give."
I blow out a breath. That's some heavy shit she's just put on the both of us. I'm not sorry for making her the centre of my fucking universe. I love her!
"What do you want me to say, Savannah?"
A smile touches her lips. "Lie to me."
I pull her in close and wrap my arms around her back, trapping her in, not that she was trying to get away. "I can't forgive you, I don't love you, and I don't want to spend every day for the rest of my life waking up beside you."
Tears well in her eyes, and her smile grows. "I don't love you either."
Thank God for that.
"I'm so sorry I let my ex affect us."
She closes her eyes and breathes. "No, it's okay. I understand. It's not always easy to let go of the past."
"Please tell me I haven't completely ruined everything. I need to know you don't want us to go our separate ways."
Her hands find their way to my stomach. She brushes her fingers up my chest and stops by my heart. "Definitely not. I'll never want that."
"Good, because I'm still crazy in love with you, Savannah."
When she opens her eyes, her face breaks into the most stunning smile that makes my heart ache. "I'm crazy in love with you, too, Kent."
I can't wait. There is a proper way to do this--with candles and flowers and massive romantic gestures that I would have to ask Heidi and Brooke about--but I can't wait.
The ring is still in my pocket.
I sink to the floor, and her arms drop away.
Frowning, she asks, "What are you doing? We can't do that now. Heidi will be back in a minute."
Barking a laugh, I arch my eyebrow. She hasn't seen that I'm on one knee. She thinks I'm about to go down on her. Not that I'm not totally up for that, but right now, I have something more important to do.
Reaching into my coat pocket, I tightly grip the ring box and take it out.
"Kent, come on, we can't do--" She stops talking. Her stormy eyes round like saucers when she sees the little black box.
I flip the lid open, presenting her with the most beautiful diamond I could find that I thought she would love. "Savannah Dean, I fell in love with you when I thought loving was impossible. I can't imagine spending one more day without you. I promise to love you for eternity."
She drops to both knees in front of me, gripping my forearms. "Yes!"
"You didn't even let me ask!"
Pressing her lips together, she zips her mouth and tries miserably to hold back a smile.
"Savannah, will you marry me?"
"Nah," she replies, her lips parting in a grin.
I narrow my eyes. "You know, the only person who thinks you're funny is you."
Laughing, she wraps her arms around my neck, and my heart soars.
"Of course I'll marry you!"
I prize my arms out from where she wedged them between us and hold on to her tight. "I love you," I whisper into her ear.
"I love you, too." She pulls back, a tear leaking from her eye. "Now, put that on my finger!"
I salute, grinning like a fucking fool. The ring slips onto her finger.
"There, now, I officially own you," I tease, but she doesn't hear me.
She's too busy staring at the ring like she's not sure if it's real or not. My fucking bank balance knows how real that rock is.
"It's perfect," she says, finally lifting her tear-filled eyes to mine.
I bend down and kiss those soft lips. She tastes just how I remember.
"I don't want a long engagement, babe."
She tilts her head to the side. "Okay. I don't care when it is."
"Do you want to reach out to your family?"
"No."
"Good, because I'm too fucking angry with them."
She sinks into my arms again. "Let it go, Kent. That's all in the past, and I only want to focus on the future."
We're going to have to have a proper conversation about her past at some point--she must know that, too--but it definitely doesn't have to be on the day we've sorted things out and gotten engaged.
The studio door slams shut behind me.
"You two all right?" Heidi asks.
Yeah, we must look fucking weird right now, down on the floor.
Savannah lets go of me and stands up. She holds her hand up, the rock on her finger facing my sister.
The most deafening squeal rips from Heidi's mouth, making me jump out of my skin.
"What the fuck was that?" I snap, getting to my feet.
Neither of them acknowledges me at all as they run and hug each other.
"Oh my God, I can't believe it!" Heidi shouts.
I don't think Savannah can reply because my sister is squeezing the life out of her.
I stand back from them like a third wheel.
Heidi lets go and grips Savannah's upper arms. "You're going to be my sister-in-law! I can't believe my brother proposed! This is amazing!"
"I know!"
Heidi turns to me. "Mum and Dad are going to freak! In a good way. My baby brother is getting married." She runs at me--like proper runs.
I brace myself, so she doesn't knock me on my arse. "Glad you're happy about this, too, sis," I say as she slams into me.
"Congratulations! Oh my God, I only have coffee." On her desk are three drinks. She backs away. "I'm going for champagne, and then Savannah is getting the rest of the day off."
"You don't have to do that, Heidi," Savannah says before I can thank my sister.
I look over Heidi's head and frown at Savannah.
I don't know why she is saying that when we can have all day to go back to mine and celebrate ... naked.
"As if you're working on the day you get engaged. I'll be back in ten." Heidi runs out the door like a lunatic.
"She's excited," Savannah says, stepping closer to me.
"She's very excited." I wrap her in my arms. "I can't wait to get you alone. We have lost time to make up for as well as this."
"Hmm, I'm looking forward to that."
"We might have to see if Heidi will give you the rest of the week off."
"You want to keep me in bed for five days?"
"Longer than that, but I know my mum is going to make us go over there this weekend. There will be a party--and, no, there's nothing I can do to stop her."
Savannah laughs, and the sound hits me right in the chest. "I don't mind a
party. A small one."
I smile at her because there's also nothing I can do regarding the size of this party. At least we'll have control over the wedding, but a party my mum is throwing is going to be exactly as she plans it.
But I don't care what my mum plans on doing. I don't care if it's just family or the whole town. All I care about is having Savannah back and feeling like I can breathe again.
35
Kent
Last night, Savannah and I ignored the rest of the world and focused on making up for lost time. Now, she has to go to work because she refuses to ask for more time off, but I'm not ready to let her go just yet. I know how that sounds, like I'm some pussy, but I've missed her more than I thought it was possible to miss a person.
We're both dressed and standing in her kitchen. Her head is resting on my chest as she awkwardly sips her coffee. She's almost burned my chest at least a dozen times, but I'll take a little burn when it's because she doesn't want to let me go.
Bending my head, I kiss her hair. "We should go soon."
"Yeah, I know," she murmurs. "We're getting together tonight, yeah?"
"Savannah, we're engaged. You're moving in."
Her stunning grey eyes peek up at me. "As much as I love my little apartment, I really like the sound of moving in with you."
"Good. We'll get you packed up tonight. For now though, we should get to the studio before you're late again."
That gets her moving. She backs away and puts the mug on the counter. "Come on, I'm not being late." Savannah is obsessed with being on time, which I do get.
I grab my phone, wallet, and keys and then slip on my shoes. Then, we head out the door.
She locks up and takes my hand as we walk down the communal stairs. "I can't wait for the lift in your building."
"You have a lift here, babe."
"I know, but it feels too lazy to take a lift up one floor."
Yeah, but I would probably still do it.
We head onto the street where it's just starting to get busy, crowds of people dashing to work. We join them, falling in line behind two businessmen in tailored suits. I should make more of an effort at work really. I usually rock up whenever I want in my jeans and shirt. Probably won't though.
Savannah's phone beeps in her pocket. One of her hands is in mine, so she uses the other to grab it.
When her steps falter, I know something is up.
"What is it?"
"My mum," she whispers.
Her hand is visibly shaking as she lifts the phone to her ear. I tug her to the side, in the doorway of a building, so we're out of the way.
"Hello?" Savannah says, her voice cracking. I can't hear what her mum is saying with the background noise, but Savannah is frowning. "We don't need to meet. There's no point. You took her side. I don't care."