Like You Mean It

  As she removed the T-shirt, Danni didn’t look at Darren yet. For reasons that didn’t make sense to her, she didn’t want to see it in stages. After throwing the T-shirt on top of the sweatshirt, she leaned back and allowed her eyes to take in Darren’s bare torso.

  With his eyes fixed on his lap, Darren mashed his lips together while Danni surveyed the difference in his body. She thought back to that day in the hospital when she told him that even with one arm she still liked him. Even though she meant it at the time, she realized now she hadn’t understood it. Now she did, and it really didn’t make a difference.

  Looking Darren up and down, it wasn’t his missing arm her gaze was drawn to. It was those amazing abs. For a guy who said he was out of shape, he sure had one sexy six pack. There was a light covering of blond hair on his stomach, which trailed downward and dipped below his waistband.

  “What are you thinking?” Darren asked, not looking at her.

  “I can’t get over how hot you are,” Danni replied.

  Darren raised his eyes to meet hers. “It doesn’t gross you out?”

  “Nope, it’s just how I pictured it.”

  “Is that good or bad?”

  “It’s good. I’m not shocked because it’s what I expected, and now I’m not scared anymore. What are you thinking?”

  “I think I’d feel a lot better if you’d come here and let me hold you for a minute,” Darren admitted.

  Danni scooted closer and he wrapped his arm around her, drawing her backward in the bed with him. Nestling her body against Darren’s, she rested her head against his chest. In that moment, Danni made up her mind. They weren’t going to give up on his new arm without fighting for it. It wasn’t like she was a stranger to fighting these days.

  Chapter Twenty-two

  Saturday morning, Danni woke early. She stretched the last of the sleep from her body before climbing out of bed to retrieve her laptop from her desk. When she crawled back into bed, she propped one of her pillows against her headboard for back support. The other pillow was laid across her lap so her legs didn’t get too hot from the computer.

  Once she was settled, Danni launched the internet and did a search for the local community college. As soon as she found the information she wanted, she opened up Microsoft word. Toggling between the web and her document, she got to work on the first phase of her plan to get Darren’s arm.

  Since his parents’ insurance company didn’t want to cough up the money, they would have to find another way to get it. Just because Darren didn’t think they could come up with eighty-thousand dollars didn’t mean he was right. It was a lot of money, but she had a plan.

  Of course, Danni wouldn’t be able to pull this off on her own. She needed her mom’s help, which was where the meticulous research came in. Being that Charmain was a lawyer, Danni needed some cold, hard facts to make her case.

  By the time she finished typing, Danni had what she hoped was a rather convincing proposal. She saved the file and leaned back with a satisfied sigh.

  There was no way her mom could say no to such a strong argument, but Danni knew she would have to talk to Darren first. Even though she expected him to resist the idea, Danni was sure she could get him to see how good it was. She was so certain that she emailed the document to her mom before shutting down her computer.

  When Danni grabbed her cell phone to call Darren, she was floored to see it was almost one o’clock. She had been so caught up in what she was doing she hadn’t realized how much time had passed. With her phone pressed to her ear, she trotted down the stairs to find something to silence her rumbling stomach. Just as she entered the kitchen, Darren’s smooth voice filled her ear.

  “Hey, baby. What’s up?”

  “Actually, I was calling to ask you the same thing,” Danni replied.

  “You want to hang out?”

  “Unless you’re sick of me.”

  “You know that’s not possible.”

  Danni smiled as she reached into the refrigerator and extracted a package of her favorite deli turkey. “That’s good. I’ve got something really important I need to talk to you about.”

  “Are you okay?” Darren asked.

  “It’s nothing bad.”

  “Oh, okay, so what time do you want to come over?”

  “Is an hour too early?”

  “Nope, it’s perfect.”

  “Great, I’ll see you in an hour.”

  “Love you, baby,” he said.

  “Love you too.”

  Danni shoved the phone into her pocket and grabbed the rest of the ingredients for her sandwich. As she stood over the granite topped island, she could not stop smiling. She couldn’t wait to share her plan with Darren.

  * * *

  An hour later, Danni bounced up and down on her toes as she stood on Darren’s doorstep waiting for someone to answer the door. It wasn’t the cold that had her so fidgety. She was bursting with excitement about sharing her new plan.

  When Darren appeared, Danni’s plan was forgotten for the moment as she drank him in. The long sleeved T-shirt he wore accentuated the taut muscles of his stomach and abdomen, and she wasn’t mad at those jeans either. They were tight enough to show off his slim hips and muscular thighs, but loose enough to keep from looking offensive. She couldn’t wait for him to turn around so she could see how he looked from behind.

  Darren grinned at her. “You want to come in?”

  “I don’t know. I thought I’d stand out here all day,” Danni replied.

  He laughed as he stepped aside to let her in. “We’ll have to hang out in the living room since my parents are watching a movie in the family room. You want anything to drink?”

  “No, I’m good. I just ate lunch a little bit ago.”

  It was the first time the two of them ever sat in the living room. The furniture wasn’t as soft as that in the family room, which might explain why it was in better shape. Danni shed Darren’s letterman jacket and dropped her purse on top of it before settling on the couch alongside him.

  “So, what’s the important thing you wanted to talk to me about?” Darren asked.

  “I need to ask you something,” Danni said.

  “You know you can ask me anything.”

  “How bad do you want this prosthetic arm? Would you do anything to get it?”

  “There’s not much I can do. The insurance company said no, even after my mom spent all day Friday being transferred from one person to the next. They all said no.”

  “There might be other ways besides the insurance company,” Danni suggested.

  “Not for us. My parents already drained their savings paying my medical bills that the insurance wouldn’t cover.”

  Danni frowned. “What bills?”

  “There’s a limit on the amount of money they’ll pay for hospitalization and surgery and stuff, and I hit it a long time ago,” Darren explained.

  “That’s just wrong. What’s the point of having any health insurance if it’s not going to help you?”

  Darren shrugged. “You got me.”

  “What if I gave you the money?”

  “For what?”

  “For your arm,” Danni answered.

  “That’s really sweet, but you don’t have eighty-thousand dollars.”

  “You’re right, but I do have some of it, and I have a plan for coming up with the rest.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked.

  “I can use the money in my savings account, which I was going to use for college,” Danni said. “Before you say anything, I’m not going to skip college, but since I’m planning to go to community college for a couple of years, I can take the money I’ll be saving from that and give it to you.”

  “Give it me?” Darren repeated.

  “Yeah, I figured I’ll give you thirty-five thousand and ask my mom if she’ll loan us the difference,” Danni said. “I know forty-five thousand dollars is a lot of money, but I really think she’ll help, especially if we follow
the payment plan I made for her.”

  “You made a payment plan?”

  “Yeah, and if we give her a thousand dollars a month, we can have it paid off in four years, which is nothing compared to the rest of our lives.”

  “It sounds cool, but—”

  “I thought of it last night, and I spent all morning working on it and don’t worry about my mom. I can ”

  “Danni, stop,” Darren said, and Danni blinked at the harsh tone of his voice.

  “I can’t let you do this.”

  “But I want to.”

  “Okay, fine, you want to. What about what I want?” Darren asked.

  “I thought you wanted this electric arm.”

  “Not like this.”

  “Like what? You’re not making sense.”

  “I can’t take your money,” he said.

  “Why not?” Danni asked. “I thought you said you wanted to marry me when we graduated college.”

  “You know I do.”

  “Right, so when we get married my money will be your money. Why not start early?”

  “I’m not taking your money,” Darren insisted. “I’m supposed to be the one making money and taking care of you, not the other way around.”

  Danni rolled her eyes. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  “Then I’m stupid, but I’m still not taking your pity money.”

  “If you think that’s what this is about you really are stupid, Darren Jacobs!”

  “And you’re stupid if you think I’m taking money from my future wife!”

  Danni glared at him as she shot to her feet. “You know what? I’m out of here.”

  Darren’s blue eyes burned with anger as he stared back at her. “Fine, leave then,” he said when she turned her back. “Everyone else bailed on me, so why not you too?”

  Danni knew what he was doing, but she couldn’t fight the urge to take the bait. “Why not me?” she asked, whipping around to face him. “I’m the only person in the whole school who never gave up on you or changed the way I looked at you, but you’re right. I should bail on you because I’m the one you’d give up just to get your stupid arm back. Well, you know what? Good luck with that, D.J.”

  Danni’s chest heaved up and down as she snapped up her purse. Leaving Darren’s jacket behind, she spun on her heel and made a break for the door. There were tears in her eyes, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing them fall. As she exited the front door, Danni couldn’t stop herself from slamming it before running for the safety of her car.

  * * *

  Alone in her room Danni lay in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. Despite having exhausted all of her tears, her head still ached and her eyes burned. Wads of used tissue were strewn around her. She couldn’t remember the last time she cried so hard or so much. It might have been when her mom told her and Nick that their dad moved out, but she couldn’t be sure. A sudden knock on her bedroom door made her jump.

  “Danni, it’s me,” Charmain said. “I know you’re home and I’d like to talk to you.”

  Danni took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  The door opened and her mom stepped in. Without warning, she snapped on the light, flooding the room with unforgiving brightness.

  “That’s better,” Charmain said, but Danni just groaned. “Can I come in?”

  “You’re already in,” Danni said.

  “I meant that I’d like to sit down and talk with you about the proposal you sent me.”

  “You can come in if you want, but we don’t have to talk about it,” Danni replied. “Darren’s not interested in my help.”

  “Am I to assume that’s why it looks as though a box of Kleenex exploded in here?” Charmain asked, but Danni didn’t crack a smile at her joke.

  When her mother moved toward where she lay on the bed, Danni scooped up the used tissue and tossed it to the other side.

  Charmain smiled as she took a seat on the edge of the unmade bed. “I have to be honest,” she began. “I have mixed feelings about the proposal you sent me. On the one hand, it’s well thought out and equally well written. On the other, the content frightens me a bit.”

  Danni knitted her eyebrows together. “How come?”

  “I knew you were head over heels for Darren, but I didn’t know you were thinking about marriage,” Charmain said, and Danni’s cheeks pinked. “Don’t get me wrong, Darren is a nice boy and I’m sure he’ll make a fine man, but it worries me to think you could be making the same mistake I made.”

  “You mean marrying Dad?”

  “Not just marrying him, but marrying the first man I ever loved and was ever intimate with.”

  Danni’s eyes grew wide. “I didn’t know Dad was your first love.”

  Charmain gave her a fond smile. “Oh, he was. There wasn’t a guy in the world like your father. He had so much charm and charisma it was impossible not to be drawn to him. He could’ve had his pick of any girl he wanted in college, and I couldn’t believe it when he chose me.”

  “He would’ve been crazy not to,” Danni countered. “You’re beautiful and smart, and you’re a really great lawyer.”

  Charmain laughed. “I wasn’t always. When we met, I was just a dorky little girl who fell for the big man on campus.”

  Danni knew her mom was just trying to make her feel better. There was no way Charmain Singer was ever a dorky little girl.

  “I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t marry Darren,” Charmain continued. “I’d just like to see you give yourself a chance to really experience life before you settle down.”

  “It’s not like we were thinking about getting married tomorrow,” Danni assured her. “We want to go to college first.”

  “About that, since when did you decide on community college?”

  “Darren and I figured it would be a good place for him to have a shot at getting on the baseball team if he got his new arm.”

  “That’s good for Darren, but what about you? Why did you decide on community college?”

  “It’s cheaper. I can live at home and save a lot of money.”

  “Money you’d give to Darren for his arm?” Charmain asked.

  Danni snorted. “I already told you he doesn’t want my money. He said since he’s the man, he should be the one making money and taking care of me. Can you believe that?”

  Charmain smiled. “Actually, I can, just as I can believe he turned down your offer.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Darren’s refusal to take your money was your first lesson on the psyche of men. Most men, even those who aren’t chauvinists, are full of pride,” Charmain explained. “They don’t like women taking care of them, and they especially don’t like it when their girlfriends or wives have more money than they do.”

  Until a few hours ago, Danni would have denied that Darren was one of those men. Now she knew better.

  “So what am I supposed to do?” Danni asked. “I don’t want him to give up. He wants this so bad, Mom, and I just want him to have it.”

  “All you can do is the same thing you’ve done all along. Just be there for him,” Charmain said. “And instead of picking him up when he falls, stand back and let him learn how to pick himself up.”

  With all of her heart, Danni wanted to be there for Darren. The problem was that she wasn’t so sure it was what he wanted anymore.

  * * *

  When the distant ringing of her cell phone infiltrated her dreams, Danni groaned. Even though it had been a long time since Darren had woken her with a late night call, habit made her keep the phone next to her bed.

  Danni dragged the phone from the night stand and tapped the answer call button without even opening her eyes. “What?”

  “Hey, baby,” Darren said. “Can we talk?”

  “Are you in pain?” Danni asked.

  “Yeah, but not because of my arm.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  “You’re right. I am stupid.” Danni st
arted to protest, but Darren kept talking. “I’m stupid for always taking everything out on you when you’re the only person in school who never gave up on me. I’m stupid for being ashamed of not being whole and for being ashamed of always needing your help and feeling like I’m forcing you to take care of me when I should be taking care of you.”

  “Is that why you got mad when I said I’d give you the money?” she asked.

  “I don’t want you to have to keep taking care of me because I’m scared it’ll change the way you look at me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “When you look at me, or kiss me or touch me, I can tell you mean it when you say you love me and you want me.”

  “I do.”

  “I know, but what happens when you get tired of taking care of me?” Darren asked. “I don’t think I could take it if you stopped loving me the same way you do now.”

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you are stupid if you think that could happen,” Danni replied. “I’m not in love with you because I don’t have to take care of you, and we both know your missing arm doesn’t change how much I want you.”

  “You’re right,” Darren agreed. “I’m sorry for being so stupid and picking a fight with you for trying to help me. I can’t promise it won’t happen again, but I can promise to try hard to make sure it doesn’t.”

  “Yeah, that should almost do it.”

  “Almost?”

  “You forgot to tell me how much you love me and how you can’t live without me.”

  “I love you so much, Danielle,” Darren said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, and the thought of it scares me so much I can’t even stand to think about it.”

  “That’s better,” Danni said.

  “You forgive me?” he asked.

  “Yeah, I forgive you.”

  “You still love me?”

  “With all my heart, D.J.”

  “I love you too, baby,” Darren said. “By the way, thanks.”

  Danni couldn’t help yawning. “For what?”

  “For everything. Now get some sleep.”

  “You too,” Danni said before returning the phone to the night stand.

  As she curled up under the covers, it occurred to Danni they still hadn’t settled the money issue. Even though he apologized, Darren never said he’d take the money. He might not realize it, but Danni wasn’t giving up yet. One way or another, he was going to get that arm, and she was going to make sure of it.