So Worthy My Love
“Of course,” she answered readily. “My father made several trips to the Stilliards before he was kidnapped, and there was much speculation about the possibility of his seizure by members of the Hansa. I cannot help but wonder if some of those tales are true.”
“Usually ve are traders of goods, vrouwelin, not of men,” he replied.
Elise pressed him further, reluctant to be put off so easily. “ ‘Twas rumored that my father traded many of his treasures for Hansa gold. Would not the idea of a coffer full of gold be of interest to someone in the league?”
“Of course, there are always those who are seeking riches, but since I’ve heard no such tales myself and know of no one who has, I fear I cannot help yu . . . as much as I vould like to, vrouwelin. If I could somehow restore yur father to yu, I vould no doubt vin yur love forever, and that vould be a prize I vould greatly cherish.”
“Who would know then?” Elise persisted, ignoring his inclination to turn the conversation elsewhere. “Whom should I ask?”
The captain swept a hand toward Maxim, brushing her question off with a wayward grin. “Perhaps my friend can assist yu in this matter. He has his spies.”
Maxim promptly raised his gaze and gave the man a highly skeptical look “Your humor escapes me, Nicholas. What spies do you speak of?”
“Vhy, Spence and Fitch, of course,” Nicholas answered jovially. “A pair of the most crafty, to be sure. Yu sent them to spy out Arabella, and they came back vith this jewel of a maid. If they vould do like favors for me in the future, I vould urge yu to send them out again on such an errand. Give them the task of finding Elise’s father, and who knows vhat they’ll bring back.”
“I dare not trust them again.” Maxim settled his shoulders in the corner of the seat and warmly considered his charge. “I’m still trying to straighten out my life after their first adventure, and I’m not sure I can handle another surprise of such magnitude.”
The corners of Elise’s lips lifted enticingly. “Do I hear the laments of a coward, my lord?”
In challenging question, the green eyes fixed their, stare upon her and glowed with warmth. “And have I not a right to be? You nearly unmanned me, madam.”
A gently scoffing chuckle escaped Elise as she leaned back into the cushions. “You portray yourself as an innocent, but we all know you deserved every bit of it.”
“An arguable statement,” Maxim protested. “Indeed, I was certain my men had gone to the far ends of the earth to find such a gifted tormentor.” He raised his hand to indicate the beauty whose face radiated her happiness. “No ordinary maid, this, but one well worthy of any game. Truly, I doubt that even Arabella could have created such stimulating diversions.”
Elise tossed her head in sudden perturbation and spoke before she thought. “Arabella is far too timid for a man li—” Realizing how Maxim might interpret her statement, she halted in some confusion, not knowing how to finish. “I mean . . . you . . . ah . . .”
Maxim did not miss her hesitation and pounced on her words with eager delight. “A man like me? Is that what you were about to say?”
She busied herself by tucking a fur robe about her lap in an effort to draw his attention from her reddening cheeks. “I only meant that you seem so . . . ah . . . bold . . . at times.”
Maxim had held some qualms about the trip to Lubeck, knowing he would be sorely tested while Nicholas pressed his suit, but he saw in Elise’s warming behavior some glimmer of hope for a much more pleasurable journey. “And do you think a bolder maid would be better suited to me?”
“Who am I to say, my lord?” She posed the question as if astounded by his inquiry. “I’ve known you only these few months past, certainly not long enough to give an accurate judgment.”
“Still!” He stressed the word, denying her attempt to escape his questioning. “You’ve formed an opinion, and I’m most interested in hearing your views. ‘Tis apparent you think Arabella and I would not have made a proper match, but you don’t say who would be a better choice for me.” He regarded her closely as he asked, “Would someone with your temperament be more appropriate?”
Elise opened her mouth to spurn his suggestion, but no words issued forth as she struggled with the denial. How could she disclaim what she felt?
“Nein, nein,” Nicholas insisted, coming to her rescue. He was beginning to feel uneasy with the turn of conversation and her delay in answering. For many years he had witnessed a series of women from every realm and state in life settling their attention on Maxim. Whether the man had been aware of it or not, he had nevertheless stirred the hearts of many a maid. It would not be strange if the girl also became susceptible, and that was the matter that concerned him. “Yu are a man strong of mind and purpose, Maxim. A meek maid vould better serve yur needs and be submissive to yur dictates. Understandably Arabella vould have been the best choice for yu.”
“And what of you, Captain?” Elise queried, rather irked by his statement. How could he say that Arabella, an ambivalent and indecisive maid, who seemed void of any fervent emotions, would complement his lordship more than she? Oh, nay, Elise thought with surety, Maxim would be better suited to a fiery wench than any frail and fearful mouse. Thoughtfully she tilted her head as she contemplated the captain. “What sort of maid would be good for you, Captain? One of sweet temper and melancholy eyes?”
“The answer is obvious, meine Liebchen,” Nicholas replied, dropping a hand upon hers.
Maxim’s brows raised sharply as he looked at Elise, but she did not dare meet his gaze. She was afraid he would see the discomfort she was presently experiencing. She felt a painful chagrin for having ever encouraged Nicholas. Where once she had used his attentions to tweak Maxim’s nose, she now only wanted to be friends and nothing more. Yet she was hesitant about broaching the subject and was most perplexed as to how she might wisely dissuade him, for he seemed most intent on courting her.
Maxim wedged his shoulders deeper into the corner and directed a stony stare out the window. His mood had definitely darkened, and though he observed the passing countryside, his mind churned in a continual turmoil of conflicts. For many years Nicholas had been his friend, but this rivalry that was growing by leaps and bounds between them could well endanger their longstanding camaraderie. He wanted to see Elise cool the captain’s ardor, as much to break the shackles of this damnable reticence he found himself bound by, as to banish that foul, green viper, Jealousy. That loathsome serpent raised its ugly head every time the man approached her, and Maxim found it hard to suffer in silent agony as the sharp fangs sank ever deeper.
The travelers paused at the noon hour to give the horses a rest and to take nourishment from a well-supplied larder. A fire was built in a sheltered glade, and after a brief stroll to stretch their limbs, the drivers and guards settled near the warmth of the flames to appease their hunger while their captain and his guests enjoyed a more private repast in the conveyance.
‘Twas shortly after the meal when Nicholas excused himself and strolled off into the woods to clear his head, having liberally imbibed from a flagon of wine. In his absence Maxim openly watched Elise until she could no longer ignore his unwavering stare. “My lord? Have I grown warts of a sudden?”
“There’s a matter which has troubled me overmuch of late, madam,” he informed her bluntly. “And I would have it out.”
Elise’s curiosity was greatly piqued. There was an intensity in those fiery green brands that clearly conveyed the depth of his concern. “You have my leave to speak of whatever plagues you, my lord. Have I done aught to offend you?”
Though Maxim had mulled the words over in his mind, he plunged ahead with the recklessness of an impatient suitor and answered in a sharper tone than he had intended. “The only offense I must contend with is your delay in telling Nicholas that you’re not in love with him.”
Elise stared at him aghast, astounded by his attack “My lord, you speak boldly of a matter which has seemed to amuse you in the past. How is it that you k
now my emotions ere I express them?”
“As I’ve already explained, madam, I’m a man well-primed to take a woman to wife . . .”
“Any woman, my lord?” she queried, but the sweetness of her tone only enhanced her portrayal of the skepticism she felt. He had already stated that after losing Arabella, it did not matter what wife he took for his own.
Ignoring her jibe, Maxim pressed on. “I would know if I’m a fool.”
“Have I the ability to reassure you that you’re not?”
“Aye, madam! You do! By telling me that I have not imagined what your kisses say to me. You play with me as a woman tempted with desires of her own, and I move ever closer to that time when I shall break the bonds of restraint and take you to my bed. If you don’t intend for this to happen, whether as my mistress or as my wife, then give me the word now and I will make no further demands that you talk with Nicholas. For mercy’s sake, don’t lead me on like you do him.”
“And what of Arabella, my lord?” Elise dared to remind him of his once-professed love. “Have you no lingering fondness for her?”
Maxim leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees as he spoke intently. “She’s nothing more than a vague memory. Truly, her face has become obscure in my mind. Now I see only yours.”
Elise’s heart warmed, and her elation would have caught her up in a whirlwind of bliss and swept her on to immeasurable heights, but she was cautious. He had not spoken of love, only of desire, and that was not sufficient. She wanted his heart, his mind, and his passion for herself alone and would not be content if she had to share his love with another woman. “It could be nothing more than a passing fancy, my lord,” she chided. “Here today, gone come the morrow.”
“I’m no fickle youth, madam,” he avowed sharply. “I know my mind.”
“But do you know your heart?” she argued. “You were so positive you were in love with Arabella, and now you say she’s all but forgotten. Can you pledge a troth to me that I’d be of greater worth to you in years to come?”
“Madam, you have no ken of my thoughts, what my feelings were toward Arabella.”
“What are you saying? That you were not in love with Arabella?”
There was a reluctance in him to answer her prodding, for it would only make him seem more of a villain in her eyes. He chose his words carefully. “I’ve an aversion to anyone taking what belongs to me by force. When I look back upon my anger toward Edward, it comes to my mind that I meant to avenge myself more than anything else.”
His answer heightened Elise’s curiosity. “That was not what you told me before. Indeed, I was sure your love for Arabella was the cause for my abduction.”
Maxim cursed beneath his breath. This damnable arguing was chafing sorely on his patience. He wanted her, and he was frustrated because she refused to believe him. He tried another approach, one of reason. “Madam, I’m offering to give you my protection and my name, such as it is. Would it not be a logical decision for us to marry? After all, I arranged for your abduction and, in so doing, have compromised your name and reputation.”
“You hated me once, remember?”
“Never!” Maxim denied.
Elise ignored his astounded mien and returned to him an injured air. “I was sure you did.”
Maxim answered in exasperation, “To enter into a union that is well-suited to both of us, do you need to examine my heart so closely that you must rend it from my chest? Are we not both alone in this world? I’ve no family, and you very few whom you can trust. We cannot say what has happened to your father. If for naught else but shared comfort and companionship, will you not accept my proposal?”
Elise fought against the logic of his words. She wanted something far more out of marriage than a union which seemed right or sensible. “Are you sure of what you want, Maxim?” she asked quietly. “Mayhap there’ll come another in your life whom you’ll want more than me.” She ignored his light scoff as she continued her argument. “And you may want to marry her.”
“Madam, I’ve never met another woman—” he paused for effect as he leaned forward to fix her with an intense stare—“who is as exasperating as you are!”
Having fully expected him to make protestations declaring his desire for her, Elise opened her mouth several times, completely at a loss for words. In a huff, she finally settled back into the seat with an injured comment. “If you find me so aggravating, my lord, why should you even bother asking me to become your wife?”
Maxim’s mouth twisted in a lopsided smile. “Because I’ve never wanted a woman more than I want you.”
Placated, Elise sat for a long moment in thoughtful silence and finally responded. “Your proposal has come upon me suddenly.” She spoke with measured care, not because she was unsure of herself, but because she felt a need to be cautious of him. With his stirring good looks, he would always be confronted by women who wanted him and would do anything to have him, if naught else but to take him into their beds for no more than an evening or an hour. And how could she manage to hold him against such odds? Oh, truly, she would have gladly yielded him an affirmative answer if only she could be sure that in time he would not find another and come to regret their marriage. “Before I can give you answer, I must know truly what my own heart would say.”
The green eyes conveyed Maxim’s disappointment. “As you wish, Elise, but . . . I beg you . . . have a care. My emotions are rent asunder when I stand aside and watch you being courted by another man.”
“I will take care, my lord,” she murmured softly, understanding only too well what jealousy would do to her.
Feeling a need to be out in the cold air where she could think clearly and rationally, she reached for the old hide boots. “If you’ll excuse me, my lord. I’d like to take a walk outside.”
“The snow has blown into drifts,” Maxim observed, glancing from the window. “You’ll likely ruin the hem of your gown if you try crossing them.”
“There’s no help for it,” she replied, taking up the boots. An earnest need had arisen, and though she fretted over spoiling her new clothes, she could not travel the rest of the day and not seek relief. “I’ll only be gone a few moments. Perhaps the damage will not be too severe.”
Maxim knelt before her and, taking a boot from her grasp, slipped it on her foot. “I doubt if these will suffice to keep your feet warm.”
“I dare not wear my new ones.”
“If you must go out, let me assist you,” he urged.
“If you will, my lord,” she murmured with a smile.
Removing her other slipper, Maxim rested her stockinged foot upon his thigh as he prepared her boot. The contact warmed her pleasantly, and though it might have been a small service he performed, for Elise his ministrations gave evidence of the sort of man he was. He had fought his battles and faced the foe, yet he was not without a gentler side. His solicitousness brought home the realization that the two of them had grown quite compatible in the past weeks. Little services performed one for the other had drawn them into a unity that had been both comfortable and immensely satisfying. Perhaps she was a fool to demand all the answers at once. Though he might not love her, if he could be the kind of caring husband she needed and wanted, it was a very practical reason for them to come together. Perhaps in time love would find its way into his heart.
Maxim raised himself to his feet and reached out to take her hand. Pulling her from the cushioned seat, he brought her hard against him and for a long moment held her as his eyes searched hers.
“Tell me you don’t feel what I feel when I hold you.” His voice possessed a rich timbre that could, by itself, start her pulse leaping in her veins. The assault on her senses seemed to advance threefold as he leaned forward, and she caught the clean, masculine scent of him. She could hear, smell, and feel him; she needed only to taste him, and even that experience seemed near as his lips hovered over hers. “Tell me you don’t tremble when I touch you,” he whispered huskily, “and then try to tell me you
don’t want me to make love to you.”
With a gasp Elise raised her head to stare at him, knowing that she should be offended by his words. The denial was ready to be spoken, but the only words that stumbled from her lips were confused and faintly chiding. “You shouldn’t talk to me that way, Maxim.”
His eyes burned into hers, and he read the truth of her desires as he searched the sapphire depths. “Why? Are you afraid to hear the truth? You need loving, madam.” His nostrils flared as his eyes blazed with fiery passion. “By damned, madam! ‘Tis my torment that I want you here and now!”
He was too close! She could not breathe!
Snatching free, Elise stumbled to the door, but Maxim was immediately behind her, taking her hard against him. His hand slipped beneath her cloak and clasped her breast as he pressed his face into her hair. His hoarse, ragged breathing sounded loud in her ear, then with a low growl of frustration he tore away and presented his back to her.
“This is humorous,” Maxim jeered derisively over his shoulder. “I’ve had you close beneath my hand for these many weeks past, and though you roused me to heights I could not endure, I did not try to force you. The moment we’re away, my wont is to throw up your skirts and set upon you like a rutting stag.” He looked down as he ground out the words. “Truly, with less clothes you’d have surely served my pleasure.”
Elise’s heart would not stop its chaotic flight, but she whispered unsteadily, with all the dignity she could muster, “I should be most glad for your help through the snow, my lord.”
His head snapped up, and he looked at her in surprise. He saw her troubled profile and knew that she was genuinely upset, but not with him. Stepping past her to the door, he looked back and found uncertainty clouding her eyes. He sighed mentally, feeling chagrined. There were times when he forgot that she was very young and she had no real knowledge of men or the lusts that goaded them. “The fault is mine, Elise,” he assured her gently. “You did nothing that was deserving of my rudeness.”